The "turning the tables" premise

[sandra-leigh]

In the MTF crossdressing forum, about once a week or so, someone challenges MTF CD'ers (and TS) with an argument that goes roughly,

"Suppose one day you came home and your wife told you she wanted to dress as a guy and be called by a male name" (etc., other behaviours or transformations akin to those of MTF.)

And several people usually reply along the lines of "Oh, wow!" -- and no serious development of the premise ever seems to occur. It is sort of as if just by presenting the premise, we MTF are supposed to "smarten up", or grok our wives' complete feelings, or Know What To Do, or something like that.

I imagine the same sort of "turning the tables" premise must get raised in transmen discussions as well?

In the interests of actually going somewhere with the premise, I would like to ask here, "Did something akin to that premise actually happen to some of the people here" (that is, a wife "coming out" to her husband or long term male partner as wanting to be treated as male at least part time)? (I've read some of the histories here, but did not happen to see this particular GG+GM situation mentioned.)

And taking the logical step beyond that: are there some GM readers here that this particular situation (normal seeming relationship, then the wife declares a FTM interest), who might be willing to post in the FTM forum about their experiences when it happened to them?

[CaptLex]

Hi Tess, thanks for dropping by - good question, btw. :thumbsup:

I think one of the differences between the MtFs and FtMs on this site is that our group tends to be younger, so not too many married people here on this side. And even some of us *cough* older guys aren't married. Some guys here are married, or are in long-term relationships, but I won't presume to answer for them. :p

As for me . . . I got divorced many, many years before I came out as trans (and never remarried), so that wasn't a factor for me. If I had fully realized the truth about me while I was still married, it would have spelled disaster for the marriage anyway . . . if you knew my ex-husband, you'd understand what I mean. :rolleyes:

But I imagine that if I had married the right kind of guy we may have been able to work out those problems. Maybe . . . maybe not . . . who knows? Never did meet Mr. Right . . . not even Mr. Right Now. ;)

Relationships aren't easy for any of us who cross gender boundaries. :sad:

[O2B Barbara]

I would like to believe that I would be as open with my wife as she is with me. She accepts, and even encourages my mtf desires. How could I do less? I would hope that ALL mtf would be accepting and also encourage their so to explore that desire/need. As it is I think I would relish a bit of ftm from my wife at times for many reasons.