Going out first time(fancy dress)

[heather1976]

Hi all, I am going out for the first time ever soon, I have been CD for about 24 years now, My partner knows and she is quite happy for me to continue but as I said this will be the first time I will be out in public, albiet it is a fancy dress party, I am looking forward to it but very nervous at the same time.
I dont want to stand out as if I am a CD(a bit strange I know) as it would hurt alot of people, but I want to look like the normal guy having a laugh at the party(with all the make up on)doing this to be different from all the others looking the same.

Do you know what I mean??
Or should I go like the rest of them.......Boaring.

Any tips/Advice would be great.

[deja true]

"...Boaring." ???

All the rest are gonna go as big,hairy wild pigs? Well...to each his own, I guess!

Seriously Heather, just play with it. For sure just act like a guy in a dress. Don't show off any of the feminine mannerisms you've learned. Be clumsy, look embarrassed. Don't let your make up be too good. Overdone is good.

have fun,honey. Don't forget the pics!

deja


Oh, and pay attention to which of your friends watches you the most. You may have a secret sister...

[Amy Hepker]

Go the way you want, just act natural as a girl. Just have fun and don't worry about what anybody might say. I wish I was going.

[Angie G]

Go dressed and have fun just don't be to girly or look to good. :hugs:
Angie

[TGMarla]

I dont want to stand out as if I am a CD(a bit strange I know) as it would hurt alot of people, but I want to look like the normal guy having a laugh at the party(with all the make up on)doing this to be different from all the others looking the same.Sooo...... you're going to be the only crossdresser at this little shindig, and it's fancy dress. So you're wearing a fancy dress. But at the same time, you're going to act like you're not a crossdresser, but a "regular guy" who decided to wear a dress to this particular party.

And by clowning it a little, and downplaying it, you're hoping that you will "not stand out" as a CD, even though you'll be wearing a fancy dress, a wig, and makeup. The only guy doing this. Without any prodding, prompting, office bets, prior discussion with others, etc.........

This is not the fetish ball, I presume.

Okay. I hope it goes over well. I sincerely hope you have fun. We'll want piccies, of course! I'm glad your wife is on board. Have fun!

[Paula_S]

Going out in public dressed is a dream come true for many (e.g. not something I have done yet), so it would be a missed opportunity not to go for it with wig, heels, full makeup etc.

I think feminine voice and mannerisms would be the real giveaways that you could avoid doing to not get sussed. I don't think you should go as far as pretending you can't walk in heels though, you could always walk well but pretend it's hard by saying it hurts your feet (which may of course be quite true), you're amazed that women can wear them all day, etc...

[heather1976]

Going out in public dressed is a dream come true for many (e.g. not something I have done yet), so it would be a missed opportunity not to go for it with wig, heels, full makeup etc.

I think feminine voice and mannerisms would be the real giveaways that you could avoid doing to not get sussed. I don't think you should go as far as pretending you can't walk in heels though, you could always walk well but pretend it's hard by saying it hurts your feet (which may of course be quite true), you're amazed that women can wear them all day, etc...


I have obviously tried the boots that I will be wearing its only a 3inch heel and I can walk with no problems at all. Should be a good laugh once I get a few drinks down(watchin for the funny pills being droped in my glass)

[heather1976]

Sooo...... you're going to be the only crossdresser at this little shindig, and it's fancy dress. So you're wearing a fancy dress. But at the same time, you're going to act like you're not a crossdresser, but a "regular guy" who decided to wear a dress to this particular party.

And by clowning it a little, and downplaying it, you're hoping that you will "not stand out" as a CD, even though you'll be wearing a fancy dress, a wig, and makeup. The only guy doing this. Without any prodding, prompting, office bets, prior discussion with others, etc.........

This is not the fetish ball, I presume.

Okay. I hope it goes over well. I sincerely hope you have fun. We'll want piccies, of course! I'm glad your wife is on board. Have fun!


So what do I do?? Do I even wear make up or do I just stick the wig on and and just look like ME with a skirt and boots???

[TGMarla]

I guess I still don't get it. Why are you doing this? Is it just so that you can get out and in front of people with a dress on? Do the other party guests know that you're going to be doing this, or is it going to be a surprise? They may not be the most receptive audience you could find. Are they all friends of yours? Most? Some? Those that do know you.....do they know? Are they aware already that you crossdress? Do you want them to know? Did they put you up to this? Those that don't know you, or are unaware that you are going to be attending in drag are going to think of you as a little strange. I don't know if you're gay or not, but the uninformed are going to think you are.

You see, I just don't know how anyone can advise you on this without knowing the situation a little better. If the partygoers are not expecting this, I wouldn't do it. All night long, you're going to be "that guy in the dress". If you want to dress all fancy and go out, there are likely local groups that throw seasonal cotillions and holiday parties. I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything, but I'd think it through before I went and made a fool of myself.

[deja true]

I'm thinking now that Marla's questions are spot on...

As I re-read my own entry and thought about it, I know I would be really disappointed in myself if I went out in "bad" drag and tried to look uncomfortable and jokey. I'd be lying to myself and maybe even reflecting badly on the other 'girls', by perpetuating the view that cross dressing is a joke of some kind...

I remember seeing a straight friend do something like this last Halloween, and truthfully, I felt embarrassed for him and a little let down.

We constantly tell each other that we are not 'joke' people. So, hon, like Marla advises, I'd think twice about doing it at all.

When I go out for the first time, I'm determined to be pleasant to look at, at the very least

deja

[jasmine57]

I'm in kind of the same position. Considreringgoing out into public for the first time. I'm very, very nervous about it but I can't wait to do it either. Go dressed as you feel comfortable. Enjoy the evening.

[harmony]

years ago i used to go to a weekly singles dance at the polish club in drab.then came halloween-cd time for me!i dressed in my little black dress well put together with shoes bag and jewelry.
to be not to obvious i smeared my lipstick a bit and my wig reflected a bad hair day.i ended up winning first price at the contest.
i had to answer a few questions though-like how come you walk so well in heals! answer-i must be a natural!

[heather1976]

I guess I still don't get it. Why are you doing this? Is it just so that you can get out and in front of people with a dress on? Do the other party guests know that you're going to be doing this, or is it going to be a surprise? They may not be the most receptive audience you could find. Are they all friends of yours? Most? Some? Those that do know you.....do they know? Are they aware already that you crossdress? Do you want them to know? Did they put you up to this? Those that don't know you, or are unaware that you are going to be attending in drag are going to think of you as a little strange. I don't know if you're gay or not, but the uninformed are going to think you are.

You see, I just don't know how anyone can advise you on this without knowing the situation a little better. If the partygoers are not expecting this, I wouldn't do it. All night long, you're going to be "that guy in the dress". If you want to dress all fancy and go out, there are likely local groups that throw seasonal cotillions and holiday parties. I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything, but I'd think it through before I went and made a fool of myself.

It is 30th fancy dress party, I will know most people there and just about everyone knows what My "costume" is, some dont think I will do it and others just think i'm being my usaul outgoing/daft self by thinking up something like this.

[Vicky_Scot]

Heather sorry to rain on your parade but a CD/TV should never go to a fancy dress as a woman.

No matter how hard you try to act manly you will stick out like a sore thumb.......why?

Because you will be to good at it and it would not be long until someone says that you look too good and they will start prying as they will know that this is not your first time dressed as a woman.

It is your decision but expect some prying questions.

[Paula1950]

Go dressed and have fun just don't be to girly or look to good.
Your SO might get very jealous from the attention.

Paula

[EnglishRose]

Is your SO also going? Would they be averse to CD-ing the other way? It would all be very Shakespearian and would also cause less attention to come your way.

[Christinedreamer]

The avatar at right was my first outing en femme that was not sort of campy(at least not intentionally) I did not try to convert my natural voice (which is baritone). I too can easily walk in heels and am sent swooning by wearing petticoats and very femme girly clothes.

I am a big guy 280 lbs and 6'. Once I was dressed, the clothes seemed to help me achieve little nuances of femininity. I am very annoyed at classic images of guys wobbling around in heels or walking like line backers with a wedgie. I do NOT believe that behavior is realistic at all. I believe it is deliberately exaggerated for comedic effect and to try to convey the idea that "See I am so macho there is no way I can walk in these girly shoes, I am just clowning around".

You do not have to act extremely femimine, just be gentle, speak quietly and remember you are emulating a concept of women and your actions should be as typical of a woman as you can. When eaiting, slow down, take smaller bites, do NOT slurp, gulp etc.

The restaurant we went to is in Dallas (Reunion Arena Tower and is a 4 star restaurant) I had no problem at all.

In addition, try to remember that anyone you meet that you do not know is a stranger and they have their own lives and issues and what they think will not lessen your time on earth. You are an adult and you every right to enjoy yourself .

Remember this: "What you think of me is none of my business."

Enjoy,
Christine

[heather1976]

I think I WILL go with JUST the dress,wig and boots on, no tights or makeup.

I was having doubts about going like this so I started looking at other options, I saw a male fancy dress custume and showed my wife but she said I should stick with what I have.

[heather1976]

Great newa:) I have just found out that there are two other guys going who will be going dressed like women:heehee:

Now all the light will not be just on me.:)

[jayme357]

I sent my SO a copy of an invitation (for me) from a local Renaissance group to attend a monthly meeting. I asked her "watcha think" and she responded with total support - "I think it would be wonderful for you." Talk about a dream come true. She will help me dress, even tho' she thinks I do my makeup better than she can, and encourage me all the way. I will drive some 30 miles fully dressed and in heaven (as long as I can get out of the driveway without the neighbors tripping out). Even tho' she struggles with the whole CD concept, her support is incredible. In fact, how can we really expect our mates to really and truly understand what it is we feel and have to deal with every day of our lives. God bless them and the unbelievable support they provide us. We are truly blessed.

[KateW]

Here are a couple of tips if you don't want to get read as easy. Get someone else to do your makeup. They are more likely to exaggerate it and be less precise then you would be. Also, I read once that you can tell a real crossdresser at a fancy dress party because they would be wearing female underwear even though no one would see it. It's your party though so have fun and do whatever feels comfortable.

Kate x

[shalini_ukunge]

Heather,

I have been out to a "fancy dress" party enfemme. The theme was "red and black", so that helped too. I wore a red and black saree. I had my makeup done professionally, and passed COMPLETELY. Only the organizers knew I was a "guy in a dress" (they didnt know I was a CD) and entered me in the contest too. And when I spoke (my voice is definitely male) there was a collective and very audible gasp from the audience, they were so completely taken in till then.

Subsequent comments and interactions were enlightening. All comments were positive. About being dressed "too well", it went down as "having take so much pains for this party", the organisers were proud that I took all this effort. Guys who chatted with me, "admired my guts" to actually dress in public. Some women wanted to see my male pic (driving license) and commented that I "looked better this way" :D . One woman asked "Do I dress like this all the time?" and I answered disarmingly "If I could look THIS PRETTY all the time, I wouldn't mind".

The hostess called a few days later to thank me for coming, apparently, some of her friends were still talking admiringly about me and my escapade.

Bottom line. Go ahead have fun. You are allowed to be nervous, but dont be defensive or too shy. If you are "brave enough" to actually dress in public, you will be brave enough to disarm any searching questions that you will come across.

Shalini

[Michelle04240]

Yeah, I think you got a good plan now.

Going dressed with a wig and without the makeup sounds right.
Just a guy in a dress. I have had a few occasions when I was going to do just that. It would be easy to play off. But once you start showing off make up techniques and the ability to walk in high heels...