What type of women understand?

[satin_luva]

I was just wondering lately what type of women would accept a lover as a CDer. I'm 20 and sexually into women older than me (25-35). I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many. A recent post in the 'loved ones' forum said that only a handful of lucky men find a partner that will accept them and love them for who they are. Because of this I fear I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend for a very long time (with me satisfied, anyway).

[Shelly67]

I think theres a good chance most females would probably accept someone if they were at least treated with repect and honesty .
But , it must be an open , gentle , out coming ......and proceeded with caution in mind .
Just be you , don,t fake , and do,nt ever let youre fem side be discovered by accident .
And I think its only fair to say , if you do find a loving partner who accepts you for who you really are , be prepared for an emotional time , lots of questions , and never take her for granted . Give her the support she deserves and try to grow together .
Good luck.

[ShannonDragon]

I would also add that it helps that the woman has a lot of self respect and confidence in herself. :2c:

[Joanne f]

I think theres a good chance most females would probably accept someone if they were at least treated with repect and honesty .
But , it must be an open , gentle , out coming ......and proceeded with caution in mind .
Just be you , don,t fake , and do,nt ever let youre fem side be discovered by accident .
And I think its only fair to say , if you do find a loving partner who accepts you for who you really are , be prepared for an emotional time , lots of questions , and never take her for granted . Give her the support she deserves and try to grow together .
Good luck.


Yes i also think that is about right.

joanne

[tamarav]

What you are doing is assuming that there are no real women that will accept you from what you have read and others have told you. You need to experience it for yourself. Each person has a different insight and their experiences will differ from yours. Just because a CD said something about their relationship does not make it your destiny.

Go on with life, explore and meet others. When the time is right and you feel the need to open up to someone, do so. If it turns out great, all the better. If not you will have added to your own experiences and will adjust your choices in the future.

Base it on real life, when a teen starts driving, they typically get tickets and maybe have an accident or more. As you get older and more experienced you learn to adjust to the circumstances. Sitting back making assumptions that relationship will fail, will make them do just that. When you are young you see others that have failed in relationships and simply assume that will happen to you. It may or it may not. Chances are good however that you will have some setbacks in life. Get in there and learn from any setbacks that occur.

OK, done preaching...

[DemonicDaughter]

As a GG in the age range you stated and who purposely dates CDers, I think you need to keep a few things in mind first.

The above posts about being honest from the start, not making her discover it on her own (promotes distrust to have to "discover" anything much less a secret like CDing), etc. are all very good advice.

I would also have to agree with possibly seeking someone with a bit more confidence and independence.

I think the biggest factor for me is that I already live an alternative lifestyle. Most of the people I associate with live pretty unusual lives as do I. Because of this, I think many women who live in this fashion usually have a better idea of what being with a CDer entails. Or at least a better understanding of the difficulties involved with it.

You might want to start by looking for people with similar fetishes as you. Lots of women have lingerie or shoe fetishes. I love clothes and dress quite exotic whenever possible. I love corsets and gothic style attire. So yes, I have a clothing fetish and that's one of the reasons I find my SO extremely sexy when she's dressed.

We exist. We are out there. We may not be in large numbers, but we are there none the less.

Best of luck and keep us posted. :)

[Angie G]

All I can ad is if you find one go slow at her pace and always let her know how mush you love her Never let a day go by you don't give her A kiss hug and tell her you love her. And always make her feel she's a beautiful and loved woman. I've been with my wife 40 years (she as known 3 years) now that I dress and loves me for who I am and knows dressing is a pat of me I didn't just choose to do. And is a part of me. and finally doing some house work don't hurt ether hun :hugs:
Angie

[bEEb]

The woman would need to be honest with herself and others. Absolutely forthright, consistently steady in thought and action. Have a nonmanipulative nature. Be dedicated to substance rather than superficiality. :straightface:
Place the needs of those she cares for before her own. Have a willingness to share discomfort today for a better tomorrow.
It is unlikely that you will succeed in finding a woman with these qualities... and even less likely she will still retain them 10 years later. But I wish you luck. :2c:

[shalini_ukunge]

I would also add that it helps that the woman has a lot of self respect and confidence in herself. :2c:

Right on Shannon.

And DD the GG, thanks for the support and the tips.

I may also add that a GG who has gone through a rough patch in life and come out of it with her self esteem intact, will realize what are the more important facts of life.

And to all those GGs out there in a relationship with a CD (or contemplating one), statistically, a non-CD male is nearly three times as likely to cheat than a CD. And any betrayed spouse will tell you that counts for a LOT.

Hugs to all,

Shalini

[harmony]

over the years i have had the best results with bi-woman-especially the lipstick lesbo kind(the ones that dont want to look like men).the best way to meet them is en femme-so for that you have to be really out there.
the reason-best of both worlds for them!!

[SweetCaroline]

My current GG ladyfriend is 36 and she didn't know she was the "type of woman" who would accept a CD until she met me. But then again she didn't know I was a CD when we first met. We just decided to be friends first and foremost, which maybe isn't what you want to hear when your 20, but when you get older, and more interested in lasting relationships, is a necessity.

Try looking for a girl who is interested art or theater. Mine is a dance student. They might understand the need to dress and present yourself more as a femme. That's what worked for me.

[docrobbysherry]

I was just wondering lately what type of women would accept a lover as a CDer. I'm 20 and sexually into women older than me (25-35). I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many. A recent post in the 'loved ones' forum said that only a handful of lucky men find a partner that will accept them and love them for who they are. Because of this I fear I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend for a very long time (with me satisfied, anyway).

I think u should make up your OWN mind on the "kind" of woman u like.
To that end, U should be dating every woman u find even remotely attractive! Regardless of her age!

I promise u, if u do that, the "girlfriend" part of your life, will take care of itself!

[MarciManseau]

I've found that artists or women in the arts are far more accepting of girls like us. I've had three gg gfs who are artists, and they all loved it. My current gf Julie, the love of my life, is a writer and a graphic artist, plus she's also bi, like me, so we have lots of fun.


Hugs, Marci and Julie :hugs:

[deja true]

Oh, Satin.... Maybe it's just my take on what you've written here, but this...

"... I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend..."

annoys me a bit. It sounds like you're "on the pull" and just looking for any woman that'll accept your CDing!

That's not how a real relationship is found! A true bond is formed with another by a matching of souls, not a matching of 'kinks'.

Look for an empathetic partner first, then, if the vibe is right, introduce the dressing aspect. Many potential partners may not even have an opinion or know anything about dressing until it is gently and thoughtfully introduced to them after forming a favorable bond first.

Read the many threads from SOs and GGs to get an idea of loving relationships that came about not because of dressing, but with dressing added.

Hope my point is read as sympathetic advice, not as a lecture...

deja

There's not 'type' of woman who likes CDs. They are all different, just like we are.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many.

You only need to find one. I never had to "confess" my CDing to my current wife (of 14 years) since she knew from the start that I was a little weird. Besides, she's a little weird herself. Looking back, I never had much trouble finding women that were into my various kinks. They're all over the place. Just be yourself and they will find you.

[Amy Hepker]

You have to be HONEST and OPEN with GGs.

[Shelly67]

You should be honest with everyone really .......
shouldnt you ??

[Jilmac]

I can't say if there is a particular "type" of woman who accepts CDers but I also agree with the other girls that you have to show respect, honesty, and most of all, dignity. Show her that she is foremost in your life and when you reveal your feminine side, do it slowly and with finesse. I was married twice and told each one before we ever tied the knot, that I was a CDer. Neither one accepted my dressing but married me anyway. My wife recently passed away and I met a woman who I started dating in Oct '07. We both talked about our past and both admitted we each had a "dark side". when I told her that I was a crossdresser, her answer was "well at least you're not a serial killer". She's not ready to meet Jill yet but is taking baby steps in her acceptance, and our relationship is going strong. Hang in there and don't push your fem side on anyone, but at the same time, don't let them discover it for themself. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[DemonicDaughter]

...Try looking for a girl who is interested art or theater. Mine is a dance student. They might understand the need to dress and present yourself more as a femme. That's what worked for me.


I've found that artists or women in the arts are far more accepting of girls like us. I've had three gg gfs who are artists, and they all loved it. My current gf Julie, the love of my life, is a writer and a graphic artist, plus she's also bi, like me, so we have lots of fun.


Hugs, Marci and Julie :hugs:

You know... this might be true. I'm an artist and most of my friends that are accepting of this are in the arts as well.

[Melanie R]

Women who are better educated and confident with their own femininity and self-confidence are able to accept a partner who is a CD. They may be able to see beyond the clothing worn by their partner. The woman loves her partner unconditionally based on her trust and confidence in her partner and their relationship. She also needs the assurance that her man is not going away.

[Eugenie]

What type of women understand?
What I have noticed is that all women whom I have come out to, understood and accepted quite easily my crossdressing. But almost all of them told me that if they would discover that their husband was a crossdresser, they would throw him out of the house...

Second step, beyond understanding, is becoming a lover or maintaining a love relationship when a women knows that one is a crossdresser.

From what we read here and in other forums this seems to be a rather rare situation...

But perhaps, a more caring attention to the needs of a woman who has to face a very different person than she thought she knew might be giving one more chances to let that women overcome her fears and surprise...

Finally, except in some very rare cases, even when they accept that their SO is a crossdresser, women still want to have the "men" side or their lover at least from time to time...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[SweetCaroline]

You know... this might be true. I'm an artist and most of my friends that are accepting of this are in the arts as well.

I hate to generalize, but yeah, it's does tend to be true. Artists, actors, dancers, poets, tend to be more accepted as T-Girls.

But I'm also an artist my self (which might be a suggestion to the OP; become an artist yourself.:thumbsup:) I get away with having long hair on my day to day job because my bosses know I'm an artist and a free spirit.

You'd be surprised how many people not only respect, but also LOVE that sort of stuff.

[DemonicDaughter]

I hate to generalize, but yeah, it's does tend to be true. Artists, actors, dancers, poets, tend to be more accepted as T-Girls.

But I'm also an artist my self (which might be a suggestion to the OP; become an artist yourself.:thumbsup:) I get away with having long hair on my day to day job because my bosses know I'm an artist and a free spirit.

You'd be surprised how many people not only respect, but also LOVE that sort of stuff.

I do, being one myself, I often hear people use it as an excuse for just about all my behavior. I find it funny but then again, there are also those that greatly dislike it and tend to be rather snobbish about it. Guess we can't please everybody.

But I think you are right. Most artists are more open-minded. Be it from creativity or simply we understand how things work in various ways different than the norm. Either way, it works out great.

:love:

[mishelle379]

you might be very surprised, I they truly love u they will accept u , but they will love u for who u r, much more to a person than cding, just a part of u

[Sandi jo]

I'll agree here in that one is all it takes and looking in the right place helps.The woman I have dated and the one I married that I have told were all open minded and would be considered different sexually than the norm I knew this when I told them.Good luck to you

[SweetCaroline]

I do, being one myself, I often hear people use it as an excuse for just about all my behavior. I find it funny but then again, there are also those that greatly dislike it and tend to be rather snobbish about it. Guess we can't please everybody.

But I think you are right. Most artists are more open-minded. Be it from creativity or simply we understand how things work in various ways different than the norm. Either way, it works out great.

:love:

It's funny. I just suppose some us are just a certain type over all.

I've met a minimum of TWO T-girls who are Chefs/ Kitchen people. Yet I could never do that.

Yet at the same time, I've painted and sold oil paintings. So I guess it's all relative. We all give, and we all take...

[DemonicDaughter]

It's funny. I just suppose some us are just a certain type over all.

I've met a minimum of TWO T-girls who are Chefs/ Kitchen people. Yet I could never do that.

Yet at the same time, I've painted and sold oil paintings. So I guess it's all relative. We all give, and we all take...

I do acrylic paintings! :D Do you have an online gallery? I'd love to see some of your work!

You can find some of my work here. (http://jlsartwork.deviantart.com/)

[KaraChristine]

One thing I've learned is that people are usually very surprising. I'm a gay male and I expected to attract a lot of male attention when I started crossdressing - but to my surprise, about 75% of the people who have hit on me when I'm dressed are women (and very, very attractive women who would probably not look twice at me as a guy).

I think a lot of women are fascinated and tittilated (!!) by crossdressers. So take heart, you might be the belle of the ball with all the ladies when you're dressed !!

[ReineD]

you might be very surprised, I they truly love u they will accept u , but they will love u for who u r, much more to a person than cding, just a part of u

I agree with mishelle! First the chemistry and the emotional connection, then the rest. I also think that women in the age group you describe are generally sexually open-minded.

[Yvonne York]

Ones that love you, understand and encourage you. Go for it!

[Melanie R]

Women who are more likely to understand and accept someone who is a crossdresser usually have a higher level of intelligence, are secure with themselves and their own femininity and masculinity, are successful themselves and are able to communicate their wishes and desires as well as having the ability to listen to other's wishes and desires.

[sunbunny]

I don't think there is a type really. Bottom line is to get respect and acceptance, you give that too. We all have our "stuff" y'know. I have quite a struggle with anxiety so I am glad to have an SO who does not judge me for that. In return, and perhaps because I have my own dramas, I accept his CDing. In addition, I consider myself educated, open and generally understanding. I don't live in a glass house so to speak. I think if you meet someone you like, and they don't express narrow views towards anything like race, religion, or aren't generally shallow, they'll likely not bolt when and if you choose to gently tell them about your CDing. The right person (if there is such a thing), the right person for you anyway, will get it. And this site sure helps us uninitiated SOs get a better understanding.

[kateyk]

Satin,
The love of my life is a CDer. I am not sure it makes me of any type to be completely in love with him. I love him for who he is, not what he wears. Ask yourself if you were in love with a woman who had some trait or habit that wasn't that common, having you love her with or without it is really the same thing isn't it?
My sweetheart is the same wonderful person no matter if he is in a skirt or pants, makeup or baseball cap, he is still my sweetheart.
My advice would be when you find her, if she doesn't accept you for who you are, she wasn't really it.
However, I agree with one of the posts which stated, don't settle just because someone accepts you either. You deserve a healthy wonderful relationship.

[boy2girl31]

I have the same feelings as you but I keep looking for miss right the world is slowly becoming more accepting of us so more women who will accept us are coming every day we just have to wait till we find them.


still looking for my miss right too:sad: