Wish wife would like me dressed

[Paula1950]

Hi Girls,

My wife is home again and I wish she would let me dress when she is home. I have tried to put somethings on whe she id home. She laughs at me me and tell me i look rediculous. And she will tell me to take them off. I don't know how to let her know I like to dress. I told her that when I dress I feel good but she says I am a man and to dress as one. I hope she will come around to my way soon.


Paula

[Shelly Preston]

Does she object to the dressing around her or is it just the choice of clothes

Now if its only a matter of choice

If you try asking her why you look ridiculous and how you could look better it might help ?

[Eugenie]

She laughs at me me and tell me i look rediculous. And she will tell me to take them off.
I think this is a reaction to be expected for many reasons.

First of all our wives love us as men, not as women (with a few exceptions)...

Second the fact that they love us means that the fear for us the reaction of people who would discover that we are crossdressers, a condition that is far from being generally accepted...

Third, we don't all have the talent and competence to dress appropriately. Many of us dress tarty... In a way most women would'nt dress... With experience some of us become more apt. But remember that we didn't learn all the "tricks" of looking realistically feminine when we were young... Our mothers or older sisters didn't help us (well again with some exceptions) so we don't have the automatisms for chosing clothes that go well together... As a result we often look rather bad "en femme"...

So if your wife tollerates the idea of crossdressing for you but doesn't like the way you look, perhaps you might gently ask her for advice...

It is very important too that you ask her what it is that she is afraid of with regard to your crossdressing... I have recently come to realise that my wife knew far more about me and my crossdressing life than I thought and that she understood my feellings far better than I understood hers...

Perhaps after this, she will feel more at ease...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kristen Marie]

There is no rush to convince her. It takes time and small steps. I am coming up on one year on wearing panties every day. Small doors are opening in other areas too, but it's not on my timetable but her's. Take advantage of the small victories and don't get caught in the pink fog....it's was too easy.

[Suzy Harrison]

Well at least she knows and tolerates it so that's something going for you.

As far as her thoughts of seeing you dressed, there's two ways of looking at it:

If she thinks you look like a guy in a dress, she'd think you look ridiculous.
If she thinks you look really stunning, she'd be afraid a sex change would be the next thing on your list.

[Badwolf]

Hi Girls,

My wife is home again and I wish she would let me dress when she is home. I have tried to put somethings on whe she id home. She laughs at me me and tell me i look rediculous. And she will tell me to take them off. I don't know how to let her know I like to dress. I told her that when I dress I feel good but she says I am a man and to dress as one. I hope she will come around to my way soon.


Paula

Hey shes more accepting than most of the women I've dated. I'd say 3/4ths have known either during or after the relationship. About half of those that knew accepted it but didnt really encourage me. I like doing this a lot for me so just keep that in mind if you wish to keep dressing and hopefully your SO will learn to love it as much as you do. :)

[TerriM]

I dont know how long your married or if your wife knew before you were married. My wife has known for 25 yrs and still does not want to see me dressed. But she tolerates me going out occasionally and hanging some of my things in our closet. I know she will never embrace my femme side. But I balance my femme side into my life. It's not perfect but it works for me.
You have to find out how important this is to you.

Yours Terri

[jessielee]

dear Paula,
i sincerely hope a good heart to heart can clear her confusion up and bring you closer. maybe she's hoping it will all just go away.
but your union takes two.
and i pray she can be acommodating her. after all, its you she married and you're still you, perhaps even more honest to you now so she benefits by knowing.
wish you all my best,
jessie

[Melinda G]

The question has to be asked. Why are you dressing in front of your wife? Are you seeking some kind of approval, or green light to pursue it in front of her? Do you want her to tell you how 'beautiful" you look?

I've been dressing since I was about 14, which is more years than I care to remember. That said, why some of you want to sit around the house in high heels and a dress, and embarrass yourselves, in front of your wife and kids, is a real mystery to me.

[KateSpade83]

Well if I had wife + kids I'd totally dress in front of them too and have them accept me...

[Vicky_Scot]

The question has to be asked. Why are you dressing in front of your wife? Are you seeking some kind of approval, or green light to pursue it in front of her? Do you want her to tell you how 'beautiful" you look?

I've been dressing since I was about 14, which is more years than I care to remember. That said, why some of you want to sit around the house in high heels and a dress, and embarrass yourselves, in front of your wife and kids, is a real mystery to me.

What gives you the right Melinda to belittle what others do.


Why are you dressing in front of your wife?

Maybe because people want to share their true self with the one they love most.


Are you seeking some kind of approval, or green light to pursue it in front of her?

And what is wrong with that. Yes maybe people are looking for approval or the go ahead from their wife/SO to express their inner self. It sure is a great feeling to have your wife/SO accept and approve of your dressing.


Do you want her to tell you how 'beautiful" you look?

Yes that would be lovely, would it not for the one you love most to pay you a great compliment?



That said, why some of you want to sit around the house in high heels and a dress, and embarrass yourselves, in front of your wife and kids, is a real mystery to me.

I think you are being very rude to assume that people are embarrassing themself by dressing in front of their wife/SO/Kids. Maybe people who sit around the house in high heels and a dress are not as lucky as some and can not get out dressed and have to express themself by dressing in the home.

You also seem to be assuming that people just get dressed and force it upon their wife/SO and kids which does not seem to be the case.


and embarrass yourselves

What I find emabarrassing to be perfectly honest is your post and how you think you have the right to judge what others do.

Xx Vicky xX

[Amy Hepker]

Well, it sounds like an uphill battle for you like with many of us. You have to tell her and be honest with her about how you feel. Let her know it is part of you and you have always been this way. She will not like it from what you have told us, so be careful. The best thing to do is just sit down and have a serious talk to her about it. You may even want to show her this Forum as there are thousands of us here. It is not a desease but a way of life, it is who you are inside.

[guardian832]

I wish I could tell mine openly, and not have to hide it. I think she knows but am not sure; maybe just ignoring the stuff I have and wishing it would go away. It's hard to tell her that there is a female side to me, and that it needs to be expressed also so that the man I am can be whole and comfortable with life, and not have to run scared!!!

[Claire3]

Have to say,done that and worn the tee shirt.Good luck to you and hope it works out okay for you both

[Joanne f]

I think that what most are saying about small steps are the best way to go , you could try planing an evening in with your wife maybe have a meal together but first see if your wife will wear a skirt and you wear trousers (pants), then halfway throu the evening or meal you ask her to go and change into trousers (pants) and you then change into a sensible skirt but keep the rest male , then when your wife comes in ask her how she feel things have changed apart from she now has trousers on you you have a skirt,
i know it might sound a bit crazy but it did help for me (but then i am a bit crazy ):D

joanne

[DAVIDA]

:yrtw::go:Thank you Vicky!

[Jasmine Ellis]

welcome to the family

[JoAnnDallas]

After I told my wife, she said she did not want to see me dressed or pictures of me dressed. Since then, she has allowed me to wear fem PJ's, robe, and slippers. She has also now seen me even with panties, bra, pads, t-shirt, slacks, and shoes. All fem. She allows me to wear this while in the house but have to take the pads out if we go outside. With all of this, I am wearing NO makeup and/or wig. She has not said anything but I think as long as I don't wer makeup and/or a wig and the clothing is not too fem, that she is Ok with me wearing it all.
You might try a similar approach. Go more Agro in appearance. Fem clothing that can also pass as male clothing. Also no makeup and/or wig. Your dress in fem clothing but at the same time you still look male.

[Pamela Julie]

Hi Paula. When you have talked with your wife about dressing femme, were you dressed femme at the time, or just after changing back to your male clothes? I suggest you have your talk at a time when the two of you will not be interrupted and she has not seen you enfemme for more than a day, it may be that after seeing you as a man in a dress, she just can't take you seriously. She should join the forums so she can talk with other wives about her situation. Even if she doesn't want to be with you when you dress up, consider it a victory if she will accept you, and be ok with your dressing when she is not around.

[Ana5551]

From my own experience, it is best to be completely honest and up front, save the heartache of trying to hide, but do not force it upon her. It is a lot for your wife to absorb. Go slow with her and work for acceptance, maybe participation will come later.