Making friends en femme?

[Michelle S]

I'm in a small town, but I go out fairly often to the next town over where I'm not likely to run into someone I know. I have been to this one Chinese restaurant a few times. The proprietress now recognizes me and is very friendly. She'd like to strike up a conversion - as she does with her other regulars - but this would be a dead giveaway. I can say "the buffet", "just water" and "thank you", but I cannot do a femme voice of any duration. This women has been very nice I'd like to be able to chat, but I am not sure how she'll react once she figures me out. Any advice?

[Laurelanne]

Take my advice if you wish...just do it. Talk soft if you can and just be you
The regret later if you do not will be much worse than any (slim) possible rejection. Good Luck:o

[shortlaguna]

I haven't been out to any place like that yet, only to bars where it is ok to dress. I naturally have a more fem voice, thank God. But I don't have the look down yet at all. my first time out was so scary, I really thought someone might see me and say something.

[Dalece]

Ive been out several places and i just let the femine me come out naturally and my voice could use a little more parctice. But chin up youcan do be youself is the best way.

[Joy Carter]

Just be your self. I'm sure she knows Hun.

[vivianann]

Hi Michelle, I would talk to the proprietress if I were you, I agree with Joy, she has most likely read you by now, she is trying to reach out to you for 2 reasons, she is welcoming you as a customer so you will keep coming back, and women today for the most part are open and welcoming of us crossdressers, some of them are curious and want to talk about it, you need to talk to her, it will help her and you both, and will also benefit the cd community should they visit that restaurant.

[RikkiOfLA]

I have to agree with the other girls (actually, it is an honor to agree with them!). Just relax, be yourself, tip well, and smile. It works for me, and I've been full time for 10 years.

"Oh, but you're a TS," you may be thinking. I don't claim that title, though I honor those who do. I'm not on hormones. My ID is still in my male name. I'm often out with my wife and we're very open about being married. We even wear matching ring sets, very traditional ones, down to the matching diamond engagement rings. We're affectionate, though mostly in the more subtle ways.

Of course, I am a lot more confident now than when I started. But confidence merely convinces people that we're serious and genuine about what we're doing. That's what talking to people does; it makes us seem "real."

There are many ways to develop a femme quality to your voice.

If your voice is naturally deep, try developing a soft, sultry quality. It takes practice, because you need to be able to do more than just whisper. Avoid the commanding, declarative tone that is soooo male.

If you can do a femme voice for a few seconds, practice it. Gradually, you'll be able to do it for longer.

If you feel you can't do a femme voice well, work on your vocabulary. Avoid profanity. I know some women can carry it off, but it's generally perceived as a masculine (bad) habit.

Even more important than voice are mannerisms and deportment. Act like a lady. Act feminine. Give others the benefit of the doubt. And most important, smile.

You'll get "ma'amed," even if they have "read" you. And that's what counts. Fewer and fewer will scream, "THAT'S A MAN IN A DRESS!" (Scary experience! Only happened to me twice in 10 years. If it happens, just act like they're talking about someone else.)

Blessings,
Rikki

[CamillaCD]

Are you sure she hasn't figured you out already ? What if she is just being polite and doesn't want to hurt your feelings ?

I would just ask her if she sees anything unusual about you and take it from there. If both of you know, I don't think using a femme voice or not would matter.

[Julie York]

I would say she knows and is trying to be helpful and friendly. You'd have to be rather amazing to fool a mature GG.

[Michelle S]

Thank you much for all the input! We'll see what happens! :thumbsup:

[Alice B]

You should talk to her. She most likely already knows and would like to get to know you better, as she does with all her regular customers. I'm sure she is non judgemental.

[Joy Carter]

In my expierence, she's probably just curious about you as a CD. Or she wants you. :love: "Wink Wink Nudge Nudge"

[Michelle S]

In my expierence, she's probably just curious about you as a CD. Or she wants you. :love: "Wink Wink Nudge Nudge"

I am taken! :)

And her husband is the cook!

[KaraChristine]

In my experience, people often take their lead in how they treat you from how confidently you are presenting yourself. A lot of times people will read you and yet be totally supportive and friendly if you appear comfortable. Try to remember that you have just as much right to be in that restaurant as anyone else, regardless of your female attire, and I'd bet in the majority of cases you will have a positive experience.

Incidently, just in case someone does react negatively in these kinds of circumstances, I always try to look at it as a lesson. The truth is, no matter what choices or options you take in life, there will always be a few people who disapprove. So sometimes the negative stuff can actually help you get to a place where you accept compliments and insults with equal grace ;-)

[veroncia57]

I find that most eating places espically oriental are privately own and they do appreciate the business. And Carbondle is proably the most open minded area in Southern Illinois. The rest of it is redneck territory. (sorry for the bad spelling, no dictionary close by.)

[Sam-antha]

You will be just fine with her. Never mind the "voice". Just be "you" andbe happy with her.
~Samm

[DanaR]

In my experience, she's probably just curious about you as a CD.

I've found this to be very true of most GG's, there are exceptions though.

[Richelle]

Thank you much for all the input! We'll see what happens! :thumbsup:

It has been a couple of weeks. Did you ever carry on a conversation?

[Chryl]

last week I talked to a clerk at a all night store, female in her 50's, she had seen me once before dressed up, good conversation, and I am glad I did it, oh by the way no question that I am a guy in a dress, tastfully done but a guy in a dress

just start talking

Cheryl

[Nicole Erin]

Just talk to her. She probably has a pretty good idea anyways.

And on a side note - must be nice, My 2 fafvorite chinese restaurants, the staff never talks to anyone. Plain rude.