Building to an dressing explosion...!

[EnglishRose]

So... I'll bet you know that feeling when you want to dress but haven't had the opportunity for a long while.

My wife & I had a baby late last year, and she is home full time looking after him. Now while she was working, I would get many chances to dress because I work from home.

My wife knows about my CD-ing, and she's even bought me a lovely lacy nightgown and some wonderful satin panties to wear (more than a year and a half ago). She's even suggested that I should wear them on occasion, out of the blue, and I feel great that she's supportive in this way. She's also let me have some of her old clothes, bras, etc.

She is very open minded, and knew about this ever since we met. The thing is, she does have some problems with my CD-ing that she can't seem to articulate. She knows that I don't have any gender realignment desires. I don't know if it's envy problems, because she does have a low self-body-image of herself, or if she thinks I need to dress to be sexually interested in her (couldn't be further from the truth).

The last time I was able to fully dress while with her was New Years Eve 2005, I spent the entire evening dressed and felt amazing. Unfortunately, I suggested dressing again the next day, because I wanted to extend the experience, and was quickly shot down.

I'm just getting frustrated somewhat that I can't find the words to say, that I would like to dress again, without putting her in a bad situation, even if it's in private. I just never have a free moment that I can be the woman I want to be at times. I miss those alone moments.

Thanks for listening.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Don't have a clue how to solve your dilemma sis, but I do understand that "I'm gonna EXPLODE" feeling when I can't for longer periods. Longest in last 3 years was 6 months....OMGosh was I miserable those last days.


Emily Ann

[Jodie Wexler]

Time to be ourselves, it seems to be a commodity more valuable than gold in our world. I like you, wish I had more of it.
Jodie

[Alice B]

Why not just sit down with her and tell her what you just told us?

[SherriePall]

Sometimes, you just have to tell her that you have to have some girl time. Even if it's alone in the bedroom and only for a couple of hours. I do that with my wife who is not supportive, but somewhat understanding especially since she claims I have been really miserable in the past when I went for a while without dressing.

[Eugenie]

I'm just getting frustrated somewhat that I can't find the words to say, that I would like to dress again, without putting her in a bad situation, even if it's in private. I just never have a free moment that I can be the woman I want to be at times. I miss those alone moments.
I've told this already, but given the large number of participants, the chances that you read it is minimal...

Very often crossdressers complain that their SOs don't understand them. When as it is the case, the SO is aware and somewhat supporting, we take for granted that they feel OK about it.

When we finally had a long discussion with my wife, I came to realise that it was me who had a poor understanding of her... She understood very well what I was going through as a crossdresser. She knew far more about my crossdressing needs than I thought she did.

It was I who didn't know how difficult it was for her, even though she seemed to be tolerant.

So if I may, provide some advice here, let me suggest a really in depth discussion, one where she will have the possibility to express her feelings, her fears, but hoppefully also the things she accepts and even likes about your crossdressing.

Since my wife and I had that discussion, things have become a lot better...

I am more attentive to her feelings and she lives more space for me to be my second self...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Sallee]

I understand the feeling certainly and even hers maybe. My wife is very similar she has known about, and taken part in my dressing. Does not any more and that started right after babies. Their 20 & 21 now. I can't really give you an answer It is almost a don't ask don't tell which really sucks. Have you tried to email your feelings Just a thought. I keep thinking I should but haven't done it yet. My cloths, and things are in the closet. so it is not completely out of site and we do talk about it on occasion. I think a lot of it is our fear of offending our SO's I also am looking for approval from her and I know that ain't gonna happen. But we do have to keep out cross dressing in perspective, kids and family should come first and it is easy to let cding get out of control. Sorry I am not much help but I will follow this thread good luck

[EnglishRose]

Thank you all for your comments. Although it was mostly a sound off, I appreciate that I should talk to her about it. I'm just glad there is such a supportive crowd here.

:hugs:

[SamanthaStevens]

Please consider that you and your wife had a very life changing event last year with the birth of your child. You wife has gone from being a wife, to now being a wife AND mother. So her life is compounded exponentially. Time and personal space does come back eventually. Hang in there and do not lose sight that she is your wife first. Feel free to talk about your feelings with your wife, preferably when the babysitter is there to take care of your baby and your wife is well rested.

[Alana65]

So... I'll bet you know that feeling when you want to dress but haven't had the opportunity for a long while.

My wife & I had a baby late last year, and she is home full time looking after him. Now while she was working, I would get many chances to dress because I work from home.

My wife knows about my CD-ing, and she's even bought me a lovely lacy nightgown and some wonderful satin panties to wear (more than a year and a half ago). She's even suggested that I should wear them on occasion, out of the blue, and I feel great that she's supportive in this way. She's also let me have some of her old clothes, bras, etc.

She is very open minded, and knew about this ever since we met. The thing is, she does have some problems with my CD-ing that she can't seem to articulate. She knows that I don't have any gender realignment desires. I don't know if it's envy problems, because she does have a low self-body-image of herself, or if she thinks I need to dress to be sexually interested in her (couldn't be further from the truth).

The last time I was able to fully dress while with her was New Years Eve 2005, I spent the entire evening dressed and felt amazing. Unfortunately, I suggested dressing again the next day, because I wanted to extend the experience, and was quickly shot down.

I'm just getting frustrated somewhat that I can't find the words to say, that I would like to dress again, without putting her in a bad situation, even if it's in private. I just never have a free moment that I can be the woman I want to be at times. I miss those alone moments.

Thanks for listening.

Hi Christina,

I have a suggestion that I'm not sure would help (or that you and your wife would try).........How about offering your wife a day to herself for fun (maybe give her a day at a spa to be pampered), whereby you watch over the baby. Then (if your wife is supportive of it), she allows you a day to your femme self so that you can "release the frustration" of not having the luxury of dressing for such a long time. Maybe this will show how much you care for her and at the same time she can reciprocate (and feel good about it).

I hope it works out for you and your wife.

:hugs:

Alana

[sabrina mercedes]

When it explodes, it explodes!!
Perhaps the day at the spa would help or maybe sometime along for you in a private spot.
I know your feeling.
You haven't had anytime to yourself so a while and the desire keeps building until you feel you'll explode.
When you reach the point of eruption you'll find sometime somehow.
Take some of these ideas and/or be patient.

[EnglishRose]

She's in the role of a full time mom right now, breast feeding and all, so "well rested" is something that neither of us can see coming any time soon :)

I have decided to give her some space, she and our Son are the very most important things in my life right now. Patience is indeed what I will employ, that together with sneaky moments like my doing the laundry yesterday in my favorite black mini dress!

[Sandi jo]

Talk to her more and see how she really feels about the whole deal

[EnglishRose]

You were all correct. Talking to her about the issue was obviously the best way of dealing with it.

Of course it didn't get raised in the very best circumstances, but the fact is that we did talk and I realized just how understanding she is. The situation is much, much better now. I have opportunities both to buy some clothes and dress too.

Thanks to all for your guidance, you're the best :)

[TerriM]

My advice right now for you is to fully enjoy your new son. I look back on when my children were young and remember how great it was to be a father. I put my crossdressing on the back burner for awhile. It would be months between times I could dress. As far as my wife, she has known over 25yrs and still does not want to see me dressed. I have accepted that. What I do know is just look forward to the next time I can get out dressed and remember the times in the past I did.

Yours Terri