Being TG and Meeting GG

[Dana]

I've done the denial thing!
I've done the macho thing!
I've done the carrer military thing!
I've done the marriage thing!
I've done the long term liviing together thing!

I'm not interested in being with a guy!
But I love any and all things femininie and related to women!
Including women!

Any ideas about how to meet someone (GG) who is not only acceptable, tolerant, but enthuastic about being with a guy whose TG?

Telling myself that being TG is going to go away isn't anything but a lie! I get with a GG its only a matter of time, before I'm wanting to get 'girly" and into "girly things!

Its not just the clothes. its everything about being a girl a woman!

Its not just about the sex, although that's like Accent, just enhances the flavor!

I'm not a bad person, I've don't have a criminal record, I'm retired military, I make good money with good benifits, and have a lot of good things going for me ~ and I've made a lot of good choices and decsisions for myself! I'm not where I want to be in my life ~ yet! But, I'm getting there!

I don't see myself so much as a transvestitie, or a cross-dresser, or whatever other titile society wants to pin on my, so much as I see myself as a "Jane-Girl" the exact oppossite of a "Tom-boy" Girls and women can be "Tom-Boys" and still be legitimate females, and women, and feminine, ~ but I can't be the exact oppossitite?

[lizbendalin]

Great question, Dana. I guess I'm one of the lucky one's married to an incredible spouse who is 100% supportive of Liz. That said, life with a CD is not always a bowl of roses and she is honest enough to admit that if she had her choice she would prefer I was not a CD, it brings too many potential problems into a relationship, but I am and she doesn't want me to change. It's confusing and I haven't explained it very well, sorry.

As to meeting GG's. It's funny, I've been out to every girl I've dated since I was 20 or so. I haven't sought to be with accepting GG's it just seems to happen. I've always approached it on the 3-4th date, when you realize that you want to keep seeing the person. Saying it earlier than that makes it a bit creepy, saying it later brings up the question of, 'how many other secrets does he have?' Pursue a relationship just like any other person would, look for open-minded people, people who have a rainbow of friends.

I've found that the sharing of a deep secret is a great way of sharing who we are. After you reveal it, the response is normally silence for a bit. After that, you need 100% honesty in answering any and all questions that are asked. And let her do it on her schedule; if you push it will most likely not turn out very well. My wife said she was 'okay' with it when I revealed Liz to her on our third date, but then she spent the next 24 hours online trying to discover what she was 'okay' with. Be warned, there are a huge number of CD spouse types of links out there, and not all of them are particularly CD friendly.

Don't know if this helps or not. Feel free to contact me directly, if you want.

Liz

p.s. Good Luck, there are some incredible women out there, and I'm sure there is one who is perfect for you in ALL your glory.

[Jen_TGCD]

That said, life with a CD is not always a bowl of roses and she is honest enough to admit that if she had her choice she would prefer I was not a CD, it brings too many potential problems into a relationship, but I am and she doesn't want me to change.

As to meeting GG's. I've always approached it on the 3-4th date, when you realize that you want to keep seeing the person. Saying it earlier than that makes it a bit creepy, saying it later brings up the question of, 'how many other secrets does he have?' Pursue a relationship just like any other person would, look for open-minded people, people who have a rainbow of friends.

p.s. Good Luck, there are some incredible women out there, and I'm sure there is one who is perfect for you in ALL your glory.Wow! Great post Liz! And very good advice!!!

Dana... the only thing that I might add is to try a "Personal" in your local newspaper or those free papers that are always around. Online dating is like trying to find a needle in a haystack... although "sometimes" it does work out. And, don't put it in the "alternative" section. Just place it in the "normal" Male Seeking Female area.

You were very specific and honest in your post... just keep doing that and I'm sure you will be successful!!!

Take care!!!

[Holly]

Dana, can't add much to what Liz and Jen have already said other than that there ARE GG's out there who will embrace you and your life style, so don't give up! If you get it right in the beginning (being open and completely honest) you will have a happy ending. <Does this sound like a message inside a Chinese fortune cookie?)

[KewTnCurvy GG]

We're out there--open mined, like minded GG's. Not easy to find as we can be in a sorta closet as well. Not popular to declare I like a man who can wear a skirt. But we are out there. I think the above advice is fabulous. :)
hugs
kew

[Methos]

Well hi there also. Just like you I would love to find a GG to be with and have not givin up hope that there is someone out there. We just have to be patient and keep looking

[Di]

Don,t give up hope ...we are out here.... like Kew said we are closeted some what as well...and all the girls gave terrific advice,,,,,,,,,,so nothing to add there........be honest and true to yourself,,,,you will find someone to love all of you hugs Leta

[kathy gg]

Hi Dana,

As a gg who went looking specifically for a crossdresser I know speaking from pesonal experince that there are women who enjoy this in a guy. But just as much as cd's are in the closet to others, so are we.

I think what is the best start is the attitude. Any woman will find a man who in confident about himself to be attractive. It sounds like you have worked out the tough personal issues in relation to this and you are prime to meet someone who will accept you. And that is the best way to go into the world. You feel good about who you are and what you have to offer.

As was said earlier the hope is finding a woman that you just like. and then let this info slowly come out when the time is right is the best bet.

But where to find women who are possibly open to an alternative relationship.??? I dont' know your age, but when i was single I joined a cd social group. that was one way I met guys. I also looked online at websites and I only emailed guys who were certain of their gender and sexuality. I also did not email guys who posted sexy lingerie pics. (sorry) But that is just me. I like sexy clothings and lingerie, but only for my eyes. :-) I cruised sites like urnotalone.com and vicki renes.

I placed ads online at singles sites. BUT NOT THE KINKY personals. Just the regular ones making mention that I liked feminine guys. Usually that generated enough responses that I did not have to elaborate much further until email. I also made sure I always had a current photo of myself as well. And if I had over 5 emails with a guy and he could not provide me with a male photo or felt comfortable exchaning phone numbers I would break things off. Becuase I felt that most men if not ready to call on the phone (not a cell phone!) or send a pic were probably either married or just messing with me. And sadly the married thing was usualy the case. Alot of guys lie online and I had to be careful. I can remember one instance a guy was so paranoid about me not being a real girl I had to fax him a copy of my drivers license! I drew the line at birth certificates and social security #'s.

I also did not have to go this route, but have been told by many others that bdsm clubs are also good ways to meet women open to this. Various fetish nights/goth bars or any event where there is a 'fringe' community is a good start. And I know alot of guys say well I don't live close to that scene. But really, I used to drive 4 hour (one way!) twice a month to go hang out at a crossdresser bar to hopefully meet new guys. I mean, that was not easy for me, but I knew that I was not going to meet someone in the small redneck town I lived. So I did what I had to do. If I had not met my husband when I did I was already planning on starting to go to the big convention in Atlanta.

Anyway, I hope that you find someone. I know we are out there. Sorry for this post being so long. Jsut wanted to give you my perspective.

hugs
kathy in canada






I've done the denial thing!
I've done the macho thing!
I've done the carrer military thing!
I've done the marriage thing!
I've done the long term liviing together thing!

I'm not interested in being with a guy!
But I love any and all things femininie and related to women!
Including women!

Any ideas about how to meet someone (GG) who is not only acceptable, tolerant, but enthuastic about being with a guy whose TG?

Telling myself that being TG is going to go away isn't anything but a lie! I get with a GG its only a matter of time, before I'm wanting to get 'girly" and into "girly things!

Its not just the clothes. its everything about being a girl a woman!

Its not just about the sex, although that's like Accent, just enhances the flavor!

I'm not a bad person, I've don't have a criminal record, I'm retired military, I make good money with good benifits, and have a lot of good things going for me ~ and I've made a lot of good choices and decsisions for myself! I'm not where I want to be in my life ~ yet! But, I'm getting there!

I don't see myself so much as a transvestitie, or a cross-dresser, or whatever other titile society wants to pin on my, so much as I see myself as a "Jane-Girl" the exact oppossite of a "Tom-boy" Girls and women can be "Tom-Boys" and still be legitimate females, and women, and feminine, ~ but I can't be the exact oppossitite?

[Gozer]

I can only repeat what has already been said, we're here, somewhere.

Personally I don't feel very comfortable about mentioning that I happen to be attracted to feminine guys - and it's not because I'm ashamed of it, but because I used to be more open about it, and I got a "pervert" label on me. People's reactions were usually that it was only a fetish, and that I only wanted one thing. Which couldn't be more far from the truth. I've tried online dating sites, which seems to be my only option - and I guess it doesn't work as well as they say it does, because I have never dated anyone, feminine guys, crossdressers or anybody else, in my 28 years of living. So you see, being a GG who would like to date somene like you, isn't always that easy either :)

I really don't care about the confidence thing, which has been mentioned here in other posts, well if you do have confidence I'm happy for you, but it wouldn't be something that would influence my decision about dating you or not. After all, I'm not looking for the big strong macho man. So even if you feel like hiding under your bed... ok it's going to be very difficult for any GG's to find you there, but don't give up anyway :)

The only thing that has bothered me sometimes when I've tried the dating sites, is when people send me sexy pictures and beg me to spank them, when what I'm looking for is a serious relationship. Of course there ARE some GG's out there that would love to get emails like that, and there's nothing wrong with that, but before you do something like that, I think you should decide what it is you want - something purely physical, or a relationship? If it's a relationship you want, you will have a much better chance if you try to make her see what a loving person you are or what a great personality you have - and not that you have nice legs and wish to be spanked ;) Because that's NO different from a "normal" guy who asks you about your bra size after 5 minutes, you won't be seen as someone who wants to get serious with the right girl.

I hope this helps a little... but as you can see, we're here... now MY question is, where are all you beautiful people hiding? LOL! :D

[RainyHaze GG]

Gozer,

I hated dating when I was 18, and now 18 years later I find myself having to do it again. Will actually I am not dating now, only thinking of it. It really is a tad too soon. I would probably only end up sobbing about my marriage to who ever I was dating.

But, I agree about online. I looked into a few sites, and that is all it really is.

Dana, yes there are women out there interested in serious long term relationships with CD men.


Love,
Rainy