I think that I might be a Transexual

[Jill20]

Hi my names Ryan and about since I was in the eigth grade for some reason I've wanted to be a girl and I've tried to ignore these feelings figuring it would go away but all that's done is made me feel worse and It's made me want to do things that girls do to themselves and I've tried to resist doing them but It's only made it feel worse.I'm also talking to therapist now who's trying to figure out what to do. Does this mean I'm a Transexual? If so what should I do?

[DanaR]

It's about you, what do you want to do?

[Jill20]

It's about you, what do you want to do?

I want to be a girl I don't want to have to live as a person that I don't feel I am anymore.

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

I want to be a girl I don't want to have to live as a person that I don't feel I am anymore.

well that's a good start. to thy ownself be true. and sorry anything is misspelled i'm on my cell

[DanaR]

How old are you now? Do you have a plan?

[Jill20]

How old are you now? Do you have a plan?

I'm 20 and I'm not sure what to do first. No I don't have a plan yet. What I'd like to do is to dress like a girl and learn how to talk and be more like a girl first and I'm autistic.

[DanaR]

I'm also talking to therapist now who's trying to figure out what to do.

What does your therapist suggest that you do?

[Jill20]

What does your therapist suggest that you do?

She's helping me try to figure out what to do. To tell you the truth I hate having to wear guys clothes I've just never admitted it to myself before. How can I get girls clothes without revealing to much?

[DanaR]

She's helping me try to figure out what to do. To tell you the truth I hate having to wear guys clothes I've just never admitted it to myself before. How can I get girls clothes without revealing to much?

Hopefully you are making the decision and not her.

I don't like to wear guys clothes either, so I under dress all of the time. This means wearing girls under clothes, panties and hose if I feel like it.

I'm not sure what you mean by revealing to much. Are you talking about not telling the sales person about you? If you are, they probably could care less, you are just a sale to them. Go to a nearby city, where no one knows you and tell them you need some help buying some girl clothes for you. Maybe one of your therapy sessions could be a clothes buying excursion or your therapist would help measure you. You could buy on-line from Penneys and if the clothes don't fit, take them back.

I've found when shopping, telling the sales person that the item is for me, isn't really a big deal.

This is something you'll have to get over if you are going to be a girl, shopping is fun!!

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

She's helping me try to figure out what to do. To tell you the truth I hate having to wear guys clothes I've just never admitted it to myself before. How can I get girls clothes without revealing to much?

there many ways to buy girls stuff without outting yourself like blame it on your gf, even if u really don't have one they aren't going to say anything else, heck they might even help t out

[DanaR]

there many ways to buy girls stuff without outting yourself like blame it on your gf, even if u really don't have one they aren't going to say anything else, heck they might even help t out

Sometimes when my wife and I are out shopping, I'll see a cute whatever and say "do you think Dana would like this?" My wife then will give her opinion and we'll go from there.

[Teresa Amina]

First get yourself looking good (experiment, try variations to find your Look), then start getting outside and learn to interact with the World. Reading all the various experiences in these forums (even the plain ol' CD stuff) will give you the perspective needed to see "who" you are. At some point it will all come together and you'll Know how far you Need to go.

[Jill20]

Hopefully you are making the decision and not her.

I don't like to wear guys clothes either, so I under dress all of the time. This means wearing girls under clothes, panties and hose if I feel like it.

I'm not sure what you mean by revealing to much. Are you talking about not telling the sales person about you? If you are, they probably could care less, you are just a sale to them. Go to a nearby city, where no one knows you and tell them you need some help buying some girl clothes for you. Maybe one of your therapy sessions could be a clothes buying excursion or your therapist would help measure you. You could buy on-line from Penneys and if the clothes don't fit, take them back.

I've found when shopping, telling the sales person that the item is for me, isn't really a big deal.

This is something you'll have to get over if you are going to be a girl, shopping is fun!!

I'm not sure about what kind of clothes I should start with should I just start with Panties and work my way up from there? If so what size panties should I get?

[DanaR]

First get yourself looking good (experiment, try variations to find your Look), then start getting outside and learn to interact with the World. Reading all the various experiences in these forums (even the plain ol' CD stuff) will give you the perspective needed to see "who" you are. At some point it will all come together and you'll Know how far you Need to go.

Good advice. Most of us have realized that you don't always need to go all of the way.

[Jill20]

When I first started noticeing this I would start wishing that I was one of my friends at school that were girls and could never figure out why. But within about the last year the feelings I've been getting worse. To tell the truth I relate more with girls than guys and don't want to have to consider myself a guy anymore.

[Lora Olivia]

Just take your time and work your way to what you feel is right. Underdressing would be a start, can't answer your size ? without knowing your body type/size hon. Anyway welcome to the forum and I hope you find answers here. The peeps here are great and always willing to help.

[Jill20]

How can I get more in touch with the girl inside of myself?

[DanaR]

How can I get more in touch with the girl inside of myself?

What a great question to ask your therapist.

[Jill20]

What a great question to ask your therapist.

I'm going to ask my therapist that question.

[Jill20]

I'm attracted to girls so if I were a girl what would this be called?

[DanaR]

When I first started noticeing this I would start wishing that I was one of my friends at school that were girls and could never figure out why. But within about the last year the feelings I've been getting worse. To tell the truth I relate more with girls than guys and don't want to have to consider myself a guy anymore.

Is it possible that the girls were treating you nicer than the boys? What better reason to want to be like them if this is true.

I’ve always gotten along better with girls and have more girl friends than guy friends. All of my girl friends know about me, but none of my guy friends know.



It's made me want to do things that girls do to themselves and I've tried to resist doing them but It's only made it feel worse.

I'm not sure what you mean by this.

[Jill20]

Is it possible that the girls were treating you nicer than the boys? What better reason to want to be like them if this is true.

I’ve always gotten along better with girls and have more girl friends than guy friends. All of my girl friends know about me, but none of my guy friends know.



I'm not sure what you mean by this.

I mean wearing girls clothes shaving my legs etc. I want to do girl stuff like I've always deeply wanted to.

[Cai]

I'm attracted to girls so if I were a girl what would this be called?

Lesbian. You'd be a lesbian trans woman.

[Jill20]

Lesbian. You'd be a lesbian trans woman.

Ok thank you.

[DanaR]

I mean wearing girls clothes shaving my legs etc. I want to do girl stuff like I've always deeply wanted to.

Have you talked to your mom about this, or do you have a sister that you could talk to? Maybe your mom or sister would help you with clothes.

[Jill20]

Have you talked to your mom about this, or do you have a sister that you could talk to? Maybe your mom or sister would help you with clothes.

I'm not allowed to tell them yet because I signed a confidetiality agreement with my therapist. Is there anything else I could do about clothes? I'm not sure what clothes to start with but I think that panties would be nice to start with and get used to how they feel but I'm not sure about what size to get.

[Teresa Amina]

If you look at women's catalogs (either on line or in paper) there will be a sizing chart to refer to. Measure with a cloth measuring tape to get your measurements, then, as I said before, experiment. Sizing is weird and will vary brand to brand but the best thing to do is get what you think will work and try it. You'll learn fast!

[Jill20]

If you look at women's catalogs (either on line or in paper) there will be a sizing chart to refer to. Measure with a cloth measuring tape to get your measurements, then, as I said before, experiment. Sizing is weird and will vary brand to brand but the best thing to do is get what you think will work and try it. You'll learn fast!

Ok thanks for the advice.

[DanaR]

If you look at women's catalogs (either on line or in paper) there will be a sizing chart to refer to. Measure with a cloth measuring tape to get your measurements, then, as I said before, experiment. Sizing is weird and will vary brand to brand but the best thing to do is get what you think will work and try it. You'll learn fast!

Just like Teresa mentioned about measuring. You could check this link for sizes.

http://www.citylifeshop.biz/index.php?main_page=size

After you determine what size you are, like a size 10, go to the lingerie store and ask for help. Tell them you are buying your mom/sister/gf/you or whoever some panties and aren't sure on the size, but they are a size 10. If you figure out the size, you could order them on-line.

[Jill20]

If you look at women's catalogs (either on line or in paper) there will be a sizing chart to refer to. Measure with a cloth measuring tape to get your measurements, then, as I said before, experiment. Sizing is weird and will vary brand to brand but the best thing to do is get what you think will work and try it. You'll learn fast!

Since I'm a guy how should I get my things to fit in panties?

[Teresa Amina]

There is something called Tucking you should search the old posts here for. Depends on how much you have to deal with what you really need to do.

[Jill20]

What would I like about wearing panties? Will it feel any different wearing panties at first? What other girls clothes should I get to wear to start out with?

[DanaR]

What would I like about wearing panties? Will it feel any different wearing panties at first? What other girls clothes should I get to wear to start out with?

You should be telling us what you like about wearing panties.

[Jill20]

How would I find out my Pantie size if I used my size for guys underwear to figure out my size?

[DanaR]

How would I find out my Pantie size if I used my size for guys underwear to figure out my size?

Using the charts, measure yourself and find your size. I think that guys underwear size is by waist, so that won't work.

[Jill20]

So when the sales person asks who I'm buying the Panties for should I say for myself? I think that I could make a great girl if I learned to enjoy shopping more and express my emotions better.

[DanaR]

So when the sales person asks who I'm buying the Panties for should I say for myself? I think that I could make a great girl if I learned to enjoy shopping more and express my emotions better.

Usually a sales person won't ask who you are buying something for, they don't care and are just interested in the sale. If you were to ask for help and tell them that they are for you, the sales person will probably help you with other things as well. Then you will be on your way to being a shopping diva.

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

you can but it's important to remember that u don't have to justify yourself

[Sonia Kiss]

I'm not allowed to tell them yet because I signed a confidetiality agreement with my therapist.

Hello Jill,

First of all, welcome to our community. I think you'll like it here. :)

Now about the confidentiality agreement, this doesn't sound right. I don't think a therapist would have you sign an agreement to not talk to your family about this subject or any other subject for that matter. Maybe the agreement was to not talk about specific conversations that you have in the therapists office? Or maybe the agreement was that your therapist promises to not talk about things outside of the office. At any rate, please ask your therapist to explain this agreement to you. (Gosh, usually therapists are encouraging you to open up to family members.)

Nice meeting you, Jill. Relax, take your time here, make friends, stay, read. :)

Sonia

[Jill20]

What can I do to help the girl that's inside me come out easier?What should I say in a conversation to help it sound more girly? How can I start practising how to be a girl?

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

What can I do to help the girl that's inside me come out easier?What should I say in a conversation to help it sound more girly? How can I start practising how to be a girl?

giRL NOW YOUR FISHING FOR SOMETHING THAT THERE'S NO REAL RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER TO JUST BE YOURSELF, AND YOU'LL BE FINE

[Jill20]

Ok. What should I do with my guys underwear if I'm going to get Panties?

[DanaR]

What can I do to help the girl that's inside me come out easier?What should I say in a conversation to help it sound more girly? How can I start practising how to be a girl?




Ok. What should I do with my guys underwear if I'm going to get Panties?


Most of the questions that you are asking are questions that you'll have to answer yourself with help from your therapist. She will help you answer or figure out what you need to do.

[Miss Tessa]

If you want clothes, go shopping. You shouldn't care what some clerk thinks about you. Your money is just as good as anyone else's.

If you feel uncomfortable going by yourself, make friends with a Tgirl who will take you shopping and she can make it more comfy for you, trust me, that worked for me.

And as far as getting in touch with the inner girl you've had to suppress all your life, start talking like a girl in female tones and resonence in places and times you feel comfortable doing that.Also , try to "feel like a women" inside and your learned male mannerisms will gradually detiriorate and you'll be more passable that way in time.

[Jill20]

If you want clothes, go shopping. You shouldn't care what some clerk thinks about you. Your money is just as good as anyone else's.

If you feel uncomfortable going by yourself, make friends with a Tgirl who will take you shopping and she can make it more comfy for you, trust me, that worked for me.

And as far as getting in touch with the inner girl you've had to suppress all your life, start talking like a girl in female tones and resonence in places and times you feel comfortable doing that.Also , try to "feel like a women" inside and your learned male mannerisms will gradually detiriorate and you'll be more passable that way in time.

Ok I'll have to try that.

[Jill20]

If I was a Transexual what would I be able to notice about myself to tell?

[Cai]

I think the biggest one is a feeling of "wrongness" in your life. A feeling that something isn't right with the way everyone treats you, with the role you play in relationships, with yourself.

[Jill20]

I think the biggest one is a feeling of "wrongness" in your life. A feeling that something isn't right with the way everyone treats you, with the role you play in relationships, with yourself.

I guess that my life always has felt wrong in some way that I couldn't explain like I was always thought of as a guy by people and that just never seemed right at all.

[Jill20]

I'm Jill right now and I'm trying not to make to noticable to my family that theres any difference so I've been making it seem as if I'm Ryan and not Jill until I can to talk to my therapist about it. Do you think this is a smart thing to do?

[Jill20]

Some weeks ago I found out that I have another personality that is a Girl and that's why I want to be one well I feel I need to be a Girl. What would this mean?

[AmandaM]

The best you can do, is talk, talk, talk, to the therapist to figure this all out. That's best. Then, a lot of your questions will get answered. Face to face is always better.

[Lanore]

Being you is ok and this is one place where you will find great support. Also, you might not hear what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Take it a day at a time. That's really all you have.

Lanore

[Jill20]

I know what I feel like I need and I need to become a Girl and no matter what this turns out to be that won't change. But my mom won't let me do this because she says she's not ready yet.

[Lanore]

Go slow and make little changes. Remember, it's about Jill. I know you don't want to hurt anyone, especially your mom. Introduce her and the world to who you are in little ways. People are more comfortable when changes come over a long period of time, rather than get hit with everything all at once. If you truely know who you are and accept it, the world will come around. Trust me.


Lanore

[Jill20]

Is it wrong for me to feel that I need to be a girl? Well this girl isn't the only personality that I have.

[Lanore]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be female if that is how you feel on the inside. Pay attention to the little things that make you feel like a girl. You don't always have to put something on to feel like a woman. True female feelings come from the inside. One thing you are doing which is good, talking about it.

Lanore

[Jill20]

But should I do it even if my friends and family don't approve of it? Something tells me though that I should.

[loriannetucson]

There is plenty of advice here already given that I cannot already add to. A professional therapist will help you figure out just who you are. Trust me, just be open and honest with your feelings. You won't find the answers you need by worrying about what others feel about you, it's about how YOU feel about yourself.
Good luck on your endeavors.
Lori

[deja true]

Jill, sent you a PM about Chicago Be-All.

You're right next door. I think it could help!

[Jill20]

That sounds fine but because I'll soon be seeing a new therapist I'll see what they have to say about it.

[surabhi singh]

interact more n more with yourself ..that will help you a lot ,and remember self help is best help ,No one can help you more than yourself ,so all the best

[darthvedaa]

Hopefully you are making the decision and not her.

I don't like to wear guys clothes either, so I under dress all of the time. This means wearing girls under clothes, panties and hose if I feel like it.

I'm not sure what you mean by revealing to much. Are you talking about not telling the sales person about you? If you are, they probably could care less, you are just a sale to them. Go to a nearby city, where no one knows you and tell them you need some help buying some girl clothes for you. Maybe one of your therapy sessions could be a clothes buying excursion or your therapist would help measure you. You could buy on-line from Penneys and if the clothes don't fit, take them back.

I've found when shopping, telling the sales person that the item is for me, isn't really a big deal.

This is something you'll have to get over if you are going to be a girl, shopping is fun!!


I agree; shopping is fun! And I feel normal shopping for girls clothes. Like when I went to buy my high heel pumps, I was trying on different ones and the two sales people were these guys who kept bringing me different sizes. Ya see?
They really are just trying to make a sale, so your sex/gender shouldn't matter.

[Jill20]

I want to become a girl but I'm not sure if it would hurt my family and my friends. And I want to get girls clothes but would feel embarassed wearing them.

[Michelle S]

Is it wrong for me to feel that I need to be a girl? Well this girl isn't the only personality that I have.

Jill,

You mentioned this "other personality" before. You also said something about being autistic. One important issue a therapist needs to check is to see if you have other mental illnesses, that is besides Gender Identity Disorder. For example a schizophrenic may feel they are the wrong gender but it turns out to be a delusion. In that case medication to treat the schizophrenia may resolve this problem. I am not saying you are crazy. It is just that you don't want to undergo heart surgery if the problem is really in your liver. Work with your therapists. You can of course also be reading up on transformation issues in the meantime.

[emmicd]

Dear Jill,

It sounds like you have so many things happening in your personal world and you need to seek proper guidance and care which it seems you are doing.

It's very important you are true in revealing your desires and inner feelings.

You need to also address your autistic situation.

Autism is a human condition that by itself is a major challenge in one's life.

That combined with your transgender issues are a lot to deal with.

You really need to discuss all of these issues with a respectable medical professional.

You should test the waters with crossdressing if that helps you.

You should also keep a diary and write down on paper all your feelings.

You may need to confide also with one of your closer girlfriends.

Girls are usually more sypathetic and caring and they may be able to help you with your dressing issues.

Best of luck to you.

emmi

[whitelace]

Hi,

Actually I think most girls on this forum probably at this point feel quite gifted unique happy and sure of ourselves ....most of us are not in our twenties.... we've been there a long time ago
what we would give to be in our twenties

Like some of the other girls have suggested go slow. hey, let things happen naturally !
don't bother 2nd guessing yourself every step of the way if it makes you happy to be the girl you feel inside you.... then go for it.
no matter what you wear or don't wear , if she's real she'll always be there for you. This forum is one place you will always fit in.... and keep this in mind ,....there are so many different personalities here, one label does not fit all so how important can labels be.... just be true to youself....lacie:battingeyelashes:

[Jill20]

Should I just tell one of my friends that's a girl even though I might get very embarassed? I'm not sure if there is a girl personality because if there is there isn't another one other than that and I want to go through with these feelings but I'm not sure what my family and friends would tell me.

[brandy25]

I want to become a girl but I'm not sure if it would hurt my family and my friends. And I want to get girls clothes but would feel embarassed wearing them.

you will only know true joy when you come to terms with your self and not worry about what others think of you when you do this you will find most familys know a days are verry open about this life style i was verry scared when i first told my family about how i felt and all ifound from them was love and suport but you must deside to tell them knowing that things will change ether way good luck :hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

I'm not sure if there is a girl personality because if there is there isn't another one

Jill, you sound very confused about yourself, and not just with this statement but a lot of others, exactly what are you saying here?

Karen Starlene :star:

[Miss Tessa]

You go gurl. When you and if you have the privacy to get it on, go for it.

If you moved out you could shop around, make some T friends who can help you out and live happily ever after.

[Jill20]

I think that I'm going to start writing down my feelings and then see what happens. And I guess it shouldn't matter what other people say because I'll do this even if they say no and I want Jill to come out more.

[brandy25]

when u wright it down make sure you dont leave it laying around before i came out i had a verry close call with my cd diary but the diary helped alot :heehee:

[Jill20]

What should I write about in it though just my thoughts and feelings?

[Diane CDN]

With all due respect....
Sounds a lot like the things faced by a crossdresser IMHO.
When the conversation includes girlie things, panties and whatever...I just roll my eyes and chuckle.
Its not a game, you are an adult, you need to step back and really think this out.
Transsexualism is a condition not a whim.

Best wishes
Diane

[Jill20]

I'm not confused about this but my Psychiatrist is I told her that I noticed this about when I was in about 8th Grade.

[EliTheBarrowBoy]

hey. Just go slowly. Try out the crossdressing first. If that satisfies you, there's no need to do hormones or any of that. I'd suggest waiting a few more years before deciding if you want hormones, but crossdressing is temporary so go for it. It's something you can experiment with that won't alter your body forever. You say you have multiple personalities, so I'd suggest sticking with counciling and cding for now.