Crossdressers in a Lesbian Bar...

[KateSpade83]

Some bars are known to be lesbian. Would it work out if a crossdresser went there to get a girlfriend or accepting wife? Or maybe lesbians don't dig crossdressers, then only like women / women sex? Has anyone tried this and been successful in a lesbian bar? Were there pretty women there too? What was their reaction to you as a crossdresser hitting on them? Tell us about your experiences!

Or do you have to just go to a gay bar instead?

[Genifer Teal]

The truth lies somewhere in the middle (between gay bars and lez bars). This is unfortunate for us because it meas we don't really fit in either place. Don't give up entirely. There are some gay people who like us as well as some lesbians that like us. We are just not what the majority in either place is looking for.

All hope is not lost. You can still go to either place and have a great time. You might need to sell you self at first (not literaly). The right attitude is a must. You can easily gain enough acceptance to feel comfortable. Don't expect to go home with anyone. It may happen but the odds are against you. Go to have fun. See where it leads.

Hugs - Genifer

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

i have both gay and lesbian friends,,,they all think its great that i am being myself :D

[NatalieGirl]

I have been to a couple of lesbian bars. The ladies were nice and accepted me, and some of them are quite attractive.

But not many of them really showed any serious interest in me. They want women, with all the proper plumbing. I suppose they might be interested in a post-op transsexual, though.

[Megan70]

I totally agree with Genifer. Been there, done that many times. Although I'm happily married and not intending to hit on any lesbian GG or go home with them there was this gay/lesbian bar that i and several crossdressers would go to regularly for years on a Saturday night... just to mix , talk and have FUN. And we did, mostly shooting pool with the lesbian girls who thought we were cute and just the "nuts". They teated us respectfully as another woman and called us by our femme name, and never, never were there any of the 20 questions that a straight GG would grill you on. They just didn't care and accepted our way of lifestyle as our own chosen uniqueness , just as was theirs. But to think you were somehow gong to turn them straight for a night into a faux straight GG and you a straight male masquerading as a pretend lesbian-FORGET IT. The dynamics are far too complicated to even begin to figure out.
Just consider them polite fun bar mates, companions for the evening and say "maybe see ya next week and we'll shoot some more pool.O.K.?" And chances are you will and you've made a temporary bar-friend.
look for fun, not a hookup.:heehee:
Megan

[Dalece]

Kate where I go it is a Gay and lesbian friendly bar. The manager is Lesbian and so are all the bar personel. I have no problems there when I'm dressed I'm one of the girls. A lot of lesbian girls come in there And I think one of them is trying to hit on me but never mind that. I feel comfortable there. I walk in in either Drab or Drag they all say there she is all the Hi's and hugs and stuff. But I have fun we talk all like girls. Should say all the female bar personal are lesbian, the males are gay. the owner is a CD to. But i guess it where you go and the type bar. Like Megan said above I have agreat time there. And I said I'm one of the girls.

[Trisha]

i go to the bars to have fun no moor no less its all about having fun and meeting freinds old and new :)

[DanaR]

My experiences have been exactly as mentioned.

[gwendy]

I live near Manchester (UK) and it has a big Gay Village centred on Canal Street.
Many years ago I joined a super CD organisation called Northern Concord who hold their meetings in the gay village.
On my first visit I was amazed that I had been persuaded out onto the streets of Manchester and into the bars dressed but soon realised that we were made extremely welcome.
Some of the bars and clubs are obviously male and some lesbian but most are friendly to both however I have not met any animosity to CDs in any, the odd wolf whistle and light banter (and that’s from the girls in the lesbian bars) but no real hassle.
It is so nice to hobble up to the bar in my dress and high heels and be greeted by the barman with a
“What would you like, girls?”
A few of the bars have a single ‘mixed’ toilet which ends the worry of which one you use!
gwen

[Niya W]

depends are the bar. One lesbian bar I go to some of the girls don't like us. THe other lesbian bar they either ignore us, usually cause they are with their GF or they talk to us just like I we are a GG.

[DemonicDaughter]

The truth lies somewhere in the middle (between gay bars and lez bars)....

Wouldn't that be us bisexuals? You know, we have our own clubs too. Have any of you looked into those? You'd probably do better attracting a GG there than any other bar.

Just a thought...

[DanaR]

Wouldn't that be us bisexuals? You know, we have our own clubs too. Have any of you looked into those? You'd probably do better attracting a GG there than any other bar.

Just a thought...

It's an interesting thought, but I don't recall any bars/clubs that I know about that are for bisexuals, at least in the Seattle area.

[KandisTX]

Been there, Done that, Got the T-Shirt. As CDers, going to a gay or lesbian bar is often the one place we can go without the fear of ridicule or possible harm. Most of them don't care who you are or what you are wearing as long as you don't try picking up their "property". I often times will go out to the gay and lesbian bars because I know I can be myself there and not worry about harassment as can be found at many straight places. Though, it is highly unlikely you will find an SO for yourself, unless you are looking for a gay man, you might find however some really good friends for future outings.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Anna the Dub]

I have been to a few gay and lesbian mixed bars. Nobody cared what I was wearing, but once, my best friend (a bisexual GG) and myself got into a nice conversation with a group of lesbians, and they were very complimentary to me. Nice people.

[DemonicDaughter]

It's an interesting thought, but I don't recall any bars/clubs that I know about that are for bisexuals, at least in the Seattle area.

Most of them in NY are only on certain nights during the week/month so you have to check for listings locally. Most of those nights are in alternative lifestyle bars anyhow but at least it would be a far more diverse crowd for you gurls to blend in with. :)

[karynspanties]

Well, they are lesbians for a reason. We are after all just men in womens clothes. We still have the male plumbing. I know the gay bars I have been to during crossdressers night, the actual gay men really don't want a man dressed as a woman. They want a man that looks like a man. I have actually been shunned by gay men at the bar. I think you will find it very hard to find a woman that actually enjoys a man being feminine. They ARE out there, but far and few in between. Good luck.

[JoAnnDallas]

There always the personnels in the newspaper.

[jaina]

There always the personnels in the newspaper.

Yes, and many, many other ways to meet people. I didn't meet my man in a bar. When you troll bars for a partner, you find a partner that only has one thing in common with you, the willingness to look for someone in a cruising bar.

[marny]

Kind of like going to any other bar hon!

[Joann0830]

Great place to go to dinner in NYC is a place called LIPS you can google it and see what it is all about, Its a place where evryone is a CD and the entertainment is also and they cater to everyone. My Daughter and her husband were in the area and saw the restaurant which she said looks like fun and just went in and said it was straight people and Cds and maybe other
groups there. My Youngest daughter Googled it and she nows about me and wants to go on her 18th Birthday because she said it looks like fun and reminds her of "La Cauge A Folle", I told her that there used to be a plce in the City called Club 82 that was just like it and it was So Much fun. When in New York Try and go but google it and see what its all about first. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love:

[StayceeCD]

Wouldn't that be us bisexuals? You know, we have our own clubs too. Have any of you looked into those? You'd probably do better attracting a GG there than any other bar.

Just a thought...

Didn't realize there were bars & clubs that attract mainly bi-sexuals.. Especially in LI.. I'm originally from there and still return for TG events.. Will be at the Femme Fever Ball in April.. But would love to know about Bi-Sexual bars & clubs in LI.. I'll round up some girls and go to meet some new friends! :)

[DemonicDaughter]

Didn't realize there were bars & clubs that attract mainly bi-sexuals.. Especially in LI.. I'm originally from there and still return for TG events.. Will be at the Femme Fever Ball in April.. But would love to know about Bi-Sexual bars & clubs in LI.. I'll round up some girls and go to meet some new friends! :)

We mainly go to the fetish clubs. Downtown in the city use to have fetish night and so did Albions (waiting for them to set more dates for it since they moved). And there are a few on the island that just opened... if only I could remember the name of it... I keep thinking Molly Blooms but I'm probably wrong on that. See what happens when you drink at the clubs? You don't even remember where you were! LOL! I'll look it up again and get back to you on it. PM me if you like and I'll try to get the info.

I've been trying to find more places on the island anyhow for anyone in the area, but a lot has been going on in my life as of late that my free time isn't really free at the moment. lol! Or if it is... I'm sleeping. :heehee:

[EnglishRose]

Why is it that when I saw these thread titles...

Crossdressers in a Lesbian Bar...
How many crossdressers ?

...that they sounded like the beginning of jokes? :heehee:

I've been to a few gay bars / clubs (my best friend back in the UK is a gay GG). She was hit on so much by guys too.

[Angie G]

If she bi you may have a chance IF SHE IS 100% Lesbain I don't thinf so hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Jenny Beth]

It has been many many years since I've ventured into gay or lesbian bars. My observations were this:

Gay bars....Men are there to find men, I stuck out like a sore thumb all dolled up as if I was going to a wedding and no one paid any attention to me.

Lesbian bars.... Women are there because they don't want to hang out with men and very few dress in a feminine way. I stuck out like a sore thumb all dolled up as if I was going to a wedding and no one paid any attention to me.

[Sandi jo]

If they are true lesbians they want nothing to do with men on a sexual basis,learned this the hard way

[Valeria]

It has been many many years since I've ventured into gay or lesbian bars. My observations were this:

Gay bars....Men are there to find men, I stuck out like a sore thumb all dolled up as if I was going to a wedding and no one paid any attention to me.

Lesbian bars.... Women are there because they don't want to hang out with men and very few dress in a feminine way. I stuck out like a sore thumb all dolled up as if I was going to a wedding and no one paid any attention to me.
Well, if you venture into a "straight" bar while being "all dolled up as if ... going to a wedding", you will still look out of place. This has nothing to do with orientation, and everything to do with how women dress for different types of events and places.

I know of plenty of queer women who are femmes, and who routinely go to dyke bars looking very feminine. I also know of places where queer women who look very feminine don't look out of place at all. Dressed in a sexy, provocative outfit? Absolutely. Dressed like they were going to a heteronormative wedding? Not so much.

As to the original post, I don't see much future for a male-bodied crossdresser trying to hook up with lesbians in a gay/lesbian bar. It's not going to be a common result.

[PrettyinPink4U]

I have never been out dressed up. But I think a lesbian bar would be safe. My wife loves for me to dress up so I'm not looking for a mate and she will go with me. I just want somewhere to go to meet people and have some fun.

I was really inspired by some of the replys here.

Just be myself! NOT a Label!!!

[TxKimberly]

When I'm doing the bar thing, I like to go to lesbian bars myself, but then my intent is not to find someone. I feel comfortable there, like I don't have to be on my guard all the time, and I don't have to spend my entire evening trying to politely tell men I am not interested. Funny, men seem to ignore the wedding ring I very prominently display - women either do not, or don't find me at all attractive, because while I have been playfully flirted with once or twice, I've never been seriously hit on by a woman in a lesbian bar.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but as a general rule I wouldn't be looking for love there. I have had a lot of conversations with ladies there and I have been told a few times that they find it annoying when CD's try to pick them up. I'm just sharing what I was told, it is not my opinion, so don't shoot at the messenger! :-)

[Samantha Thomson]

i have to agree w txkimberly on this one lesbians dont like to be hit on at the bars by cd but i do go there some times w lesbian friends and again yes guys dont notice the ring but lesbians do give me good comments on how i look

[Fab Karen]

This is like the guy who thinks "what they need is a REAL MAN to turn 'em around" - most women in a lesbian bar aren't going to be interested, & if you hit on them you're an ignorant jerk. There MIGHT be a bisexual woman there who MIGHT be interested, but the odds of that are very unlikely. Don't go to one thinking you'll find a woman interested.

[Bilinda]

I feel qualified to answer this, since I live with two lesbians. As has been mentioned, lesbians are called that because they are,,,,,lesbians! They only want a female, just as a straight male wants only a female, not a guy in a dress.

Lesbians don't mind at all if you go crossdressed to a lesbian bar, at least most don't. But the line is crossed when you try to come on to them. That's when your going to get your face slapped or worst. If you want to go out as a CD and have fun, great. But don't expect to pick up a real lesbian, is not going to happen.

[Deborah Jane]

Some bars are known to be lesbian. Would it work out if a crossdresser went there to get a girlfriend or accepting wife? ?

Just my :2c:, but surely the fact that they are lesbians means they aren,t going to be attracted to men, no matter what clothing is worn!!

[Rachel Morley]

Lesbians liking crossdressers ? ... maybe for friends, but not for partners??? ... I very much I doubt it.

All the lesbians I have ever known including two that are currently in my life as friends, have never been interested. Why would they? Lesbians like women ... crossdressers are not women, even if the CDer was very feminine in their personality I still don't think so ... CDers have certain "extras" that are reminders and aren't required during intimate moments! :eek:

I think women in same sex relationships want just that ... the same sex!

[Angie G]

The Lesbians I know aren't looking for girl with exterior plumbing unless shes bi. hun :hugs:
Angie

[Kristen Marie]

I was dressed while in a bar in Vegas just this week. On Tuesday it was ladies night (or lesbian nights). I started talking to this amazingly beautiful girl and her female companion. We were together over an hour and we had a great time. But it was also the Wet T Shirt night contest and she was going to enter. As we were talking, her girlfriend suggested that she wear her wife beater T shirt rather than her gorgeous red blouse with the black Victoria Secret bra. She readily agreed to take it off. Woah...what an opening. I quickly said if you wear her Tshirt, then I get to wear your bra and blouse. They laughed out loud and gave me a high five. I was sort of one of them. All night I was part of their little group, and while I never had any thoughts of being anything but one of the girls....it was such a nice time.

[jennifer41356]

Some bars are known to be lesbian. Would it work out if a crossdresser went there to get a girlfriend or accepting wife? Or maybe lesbians don't dig crossdressers, then only like women / women sex? Has anyone tried this and been successful in a lesbian bar? Were there pretty women there too? What was their reaction to you as a crossdresser hitting on them? Tell us about your experiences!

Or do you have to just go to a gay bar instead?


my experience has been if she is a lesbian, she only wants other girls, if she is bi-sexual maybe she will be interested..i have found that if you go to a lesbian bar to have fun and meet people , they can be fun, but to go there to try and pick up someone, not a real good idea:2c:

[DanaR]

The first time that my wife went out with me (while I was dressed), we were in Portland Oregon and went to a gay and lesbian bar for dinner. After dinner we went down the street to a female impersonation club. My wife said that she had a great time. I had attended a convention in Portland several months before and we went to both of these places; so I felt very comfortable going back.

[Samantha B L]

I've had some really cool freindships with Lesbians. They were very supportive of my dressing. They are not sexually interested in men,including CD's.

[goofus]

bisexual clubs?? Where??

[Laura_Stephens]

I would like to make some friends at such a bar. I wouldn't ask anyone there to be something theyare not (i.e., attracted to me). After all, that is what most of us are asking.

[Glenda]

If you go to a bar looking to pick someone up, you're much more likely to leave with a man than with a woman. That goes for straight bars, gay bars and lesbian bars. If you go to have a good time with no expectations and give people a chance to judge you as you without an agenda, then you are more likely to find someone.

[Sally24]

I've thought of several points;

1. There is no test for entrance to a lesbian bar, or lesbian night. There are any number of guys and straight women at a lesbian venue.
2. Many women who go to lesbian bars are bi and not gay.

Now while this makes the possiblity of finding someone interested in a CD better, going to a lesbian venue looking for a partner is not the right attitude. You can go to dance, have a good time, talk and network with the girls. If you play it cool and do not hit on the girls, then some might be intrigued enough to approach you.

I go to lesbian nights quite often with my t-girl friends and we have plenty of girls approach us. Some have hit really heavily on some of our cuter members (age not a factor!). Now admitedly most of these girls appeared to be hetero or bi, but a few were lesbians.

When will people, even here, realize that life, love, and attraction is not binary?!? Yes, they call themselves lesbians.....Does that mean that none of them have ever been attracted to anyone but other females?

[Niya W]

If any thing is going to happen, they will come to you.

[AmandaM]

The Drag clubs are the best place for meeting women. Gays have what you call "fag hags" who are women who chase gay men. CDers have a version of this also. Women who seek out CDers. They sometimes go to Drag clubs. Lesbian bars may or may not have women there who want to meet you. I would rank these as choice 1 and choice 2 with a gay bar choice 4. Choice 3? A straight club.

[CD Susan]

I have often wondered about gay and lesbian bars. First of all I am not someone who even goes to bars but if I did how would I know where these types of bars are? I have lived in a city of 35,000 population for 25 years and have never heard of such a place here. Is there a list of such places on the internet? How does one go about finding these kinds of bars?

[Sandy Martin]

Some bars are known to be lesbian. Would it work out if a crossdresser went there to get a girlfriend or accepting wife? Or maybe lesbians don't dig crossdressers, then only like women / women sex? Has anyone tried this and been successful in a lesbian bar? Were there pretty women there too? What was their reaction to you as a crossdresser hitting on them? Tell us about your experiences!

Or do you have to just go to a gay bar instead?
Hi I hang at a Lesbian Bar in Philly Pa. , I have found they think we are realy good at crossdressing and understand who we are . they crossdress to in away too . One important thing . do not try to pick them up , they will pick you up if they are interested . I know alot crossdress who married and the wife is Bi. Good Luck

[MsJanessa]

best place to meet people interested in Us is in a drag bar but unfortunatly these places are fairly rare outside of our very large cities---I've gone to Lesbian joints quite a few times and occasionally have hooked up but I wouldn't go to one with that expectation---usuually are looking for a different kind of plumbing---one thing you can be sure of though is that you will be one of the prettiest girls there.

[IMkrystal]

I told her that there used to be a plce in the City called Club 82 that was just like it and it was So Much fun. When in New York Try and go but google it and see what its all about first. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love:

As a kid, every Sunday I would look in the Daily News to see their ad. I dreamed about someday going there! It's amazing how far CDing has come, but meeting accepting women is still a problem.:daydreaming:

[Sally24]

I've gone to Lesbian joints quite a few times---one thing you can be sure of though is that you will be one of the prettiest girls there.
Really?:naughty

Then that would be one gorgeous CD because the Boston lesbian clubs have lots of cute girls!!

[Niya W]

best place to meet people interested in Us is in a drag bar but unfortunatly these places are fairly rare outside of our very large cities---I've gone to Lesbian joints quite a few times and occasionally have hooked up but I wouldn't go to one with that expectation---usuually are looking for a different kind of plumbing---one thing you can be sure of though is that you will be one of the prettiest girls there.

Depends on were you go. Funny thing is I've been treated better by the butch ones.

[Fab Karen]

Now admitedly most of these girls appeared to be hetero or bi, but a few were lesbians.

When will people, even here, realize that life, love, and attraction is not binary?!? Yes, they call themselves lesbians.....Does that mean that none of them have ever been attracted to anyone but other females?
No, but the original question was about the idea of going to a lesbian club to find an interested female partner. & lesbians go to lesbian clubs to meet other GG females.
Would a hetero female go to a gay ( male ) club to meet a male partner?

[MsJanessa]

Depends on were you go. Funny thing is I've been treated better by the butch ones.

That's because the pretty ones get jealous


No, but the original question was about the idea of going to a lesbian club to find an interested female partner. & lesbians go to lesbian clubs to meet other GG females.
Would a hetero female go to a gay ( male ) club to meet a male partner?

you would be suprised at how many hetero GGs do just that---not that they have a lot of luck but there are some GGs who prefer the company of gay men.


Really?:naughty

Then that would be one gorgeous CD because the Boston lesbian clubs have lots of cute girls!!

and I'm sure you would be one of the cutest.

[Fab Karen]

you would be suprised at how many hetero GGs do just that---not that they have a lot of luck but there are some GGs who prefer the company of gay men.



.

company & sexual partner are two different things.

[Valeria]

I've gone to Lesbian joints quite a few times and occasionally have hooked up but I wouldn't go to one with that expectation---usuually are looking for a different kind of plumbing---one thing you can be sure of though is that you will be one of the prettiest girls there.
Umm, no. There are plenty of hot looking dykes - way hotter than most CDs. With all due respect to the people that post here, I've never been in a lesbian bar where the average patron didn't look better than the average male CD (judged as a woman).


Many women like transsexuals with breast and if you are a cute crossdresser some will like you but I find that women say they "want some one who is more committed to the life style"
If by "transsexuals with breast", you mean trans females who have developed breasts, then yes. Obviously. Lots of lesbian trans females end up with a lesbian cis female as their life partner - although some lesbians are transphobic.

This doesn't have much to do with the topic of this thread, however.


company & sexual partner are two different things.
Indeed.

I have a life partner, but if I didn't I'd only be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with another woman. Cis or trans wouldn't matter (though if trans and pre-op, it would probably be sexually awkward until they had surgery). But I'd have absolutely no interest in dating a male crossdresser - I'd much rather date a butch woman, though my normal preference is femme. I'm interested in the person, not the clothes, and I'm exclusively attracted to other women. It's as simple as that, and lots of dykes feel similarly (though many of us have preferences for how femme or butch our partner is).

[TxKimberly]

. . .
Would a hetero female go to a gay ( male ) club to meet a male partner? . . .

Your making my head hurt. Make it stop, just make it stop!

[Dalece]

I go to a gay, Lesbian bar Near me ANd when I'm dressed I'm one of the girls there. Some of them are my very best friends I could have.

[MsJanessa]

company & sexual partner are two different things.

Strange isn't it--but I do know GGs who lust after gay men

[MsJanessa]

Umm, no. There are plenty of hot looking dykes - way hotter than most CDs. With all due respect to the people that post here, I've never been in a lesbian bar where the average patron didn't look better than the average male CD (judged as a woman).


If by "transsexuals with breast", you mean trans females who have developed breasts, then yes. Obviously. Lots of lesbian trans females end up with a lesbian cis female as their life partner - although some lesbians are transphobic.

This doesn't have much to do with the topic of this thread, however.


Indeed.

I have a life partner, but if I didn't I'd only be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with another woman. Cis or trans wouldn't matter (though if trans and pre-op, it would probably be sexually awkward until they had surgery). But I'd have absolutely no interest in dating a male crossdresser - I'd much rather date a butch woman, though my normal preference is femme. I'm interested in the person, not the clothes, and I'm exclusively attracted to other women. It's as simple as that, and lots of dykes feel similarly (though many of us have preferences for how femme or butch our partner is).

Ive seen a lot of pretty lesbians but even more I've seen a lot of real butch lesbians who are far less femme than the average CD here---I guess it depends on the type of bars you hang out in---I tend to like leather bars or rather leather nights at the local gay or lesbian joint.