Point and purpose of dressing 24/7

[Kate Simmons]

Most of us really enjoy being our femme selves to the point of saying it's not a "self" it's the real "us", this is who I really am and we enjoy the feeling of looking and being pretty as if it's to be preferred as to who we are as a guy. How many times have we caught ourselves saying something like:"I can't wait until this is over so I can get dressed?" Fair enough and I've been there myself and can appreciate the feeling and sometimes, in fact, we want to make the go for 24/7, which I did for awhile. I did soon get tired of it however.

Suppose, though, if you had the option of doing it and could see your way clear to do it all of the time,possibly with feminine enhancements, would you do it? You may be saying:"What are you,nuts? Of course, in a heartbeat." Think before you answer. The reason I say this is that even when it may be considered easy and preferred (by us), it's a lot of work, not only to maintain the appearance but the image as well. Just ask any genetic woman. We feel it is so easy and so much to be preferred over who we are but is it? What would we do if returning to the haven of guyhood was no longer an option and we had no choice but to carry on en femme all of the time?

Quite honestly, for the most part,our idea of what it is all about is miles away from the reality. You may say but I know what it's like because of the reaction of others when I'm dressed, out and about, I feel, I do, I enjoy. No thin so Baba Louie, what we see is just the tip of the iceberg. To really be perceived as a woman we have to be willing to be on the receiving end of how others would react to us and most of the treatment, despite the political correctness of the world is anything but, not to mention the constant pressure to be this or that. Talk about an uphill battle. I really have to hand it to the gals who hold their own in this world.

There is also the pressure of constantly needing or wanting to look nice either by design or implication. Even though many gals look great naturally, there is the "grand beauty illusion" out there that the "perfect woman" should look like this or that. And we thought we had it rough? We fuss and obsess but it's mostly on a part time basis.

My point is if we really want to go through all of that just to look like a woman and "be" a woman all of the time, don't you think there may be just a little bit more to the feelings behind that? If we are going to go to that much effort, personally I would try to determine if indeed I wanted to pursue SRS. The only real way to determine that is with therapy and a RLT. Just the point of living 24/7 does not answer the question for me and if there is a point and purpose behind the desire, I would want to know what it is once and for all. That is my thinking on it anyway. Personally, I could catch any ball thrown my way and have more or less proven I could do it. Having the endurance to do it all of the time is a different "ball game" all together though. Are we really ready to play it? Only we can answer that:)

[TGMarla]

Anything you do, if you do it all the time, becomes less special. My wife has pretty dresses that she used to wear to work all the time. I'd tell her that she looked pretty, and she'd thank me and comment, "It's just a dress. It's just something to wear to work." Exactly. It was no longer special to her because she did it all the time.

I'm a part-timer. It's usually special to me. But not always. It would be nice to have the liberty to do this all the time, but the reality of doing so would erode the special feeling that dressing up gives me. And there are times now that I feel that it's just too much of a PITA to bother with for the amount of time I'll spend dressed.

As the saying goes: Maybe I'd better stay me.

[Michelle-NC]

I think Marla is right....and so is Salandra. To be 24/7 is by no means my goal...there is a side of me that loves when I am dressed...and there are times where I think like Marla. This can be a pita just for an hours worth of dressing times...but at the same time, I so enjoy the time dressed. Would I enjoy it as much if I was 24/7? No, but the times I do get to dress are special because of that.

[melissacd]

I think that it depends on whether dressing 7/24 means always wearing makeup and doing your hair and such. If you look around you at women on the street a great many dress down these days with a little bit of make up, hair very casual and casual clothes. I think that if the definition of 7/24 included the entire range of how a woman dresses, from glam to casual then it becomes less daunting.

I have stopped wearing male underwear and I am starting to incorporate female pants into my wardrobe as I replace my aging male clothes and I am finding that it all feels good and I do not feel any reason to stop pushing the envelope here. I realize that that is not quite the same as full 7/24 but it is edging me in that direction.

The other thing to consider, albeit it does bring with it the risk of being more of a social outcast, someone on the fringe, is to accept that we could be males who dress femme who do not hide that they are males who dress femme. This would be a recognition that in fact there are more than two genders. In that way we start to dress in a way that suits how we feel and how we want to express ourselves at any given point in time. The beauty of this is that it allows us to express whatever we feel at the time be it male, female or somewhere else along the continuum. I suspect that male and female expressions will always be way more acceptable (even if they know you are a man in a dress) than the more obscure somewhere in between place.

[Nadia-Maria]

I am a part time woman ; if I were a woman , I would be one full time.

Kisses

Nadia

[Angie G]

I went 83 hours dressed nonstop last November and loved it if I could love to go 24/7 for few weeks ( not possible) but I do need my guy time. and I'd hate to get tired of dressing. I would hot think it could ever happen And I don't want to find out. :hugs:
Angie

[Kate Simmons]

I realize that we have friends here who dress 24/7 and indeed who present that way all of the time. I don't think they are being overt about it, just think they are comfortable with being who they are. Still, I'm a bit hard pressed to understand the motivation and rationale behind something like that and kind of wondering how that particular lifestyle comes across to others, especially with regard to what they are trying to accomplish and with respect to how they are perceived as a person. I mean, I'm okay with it, I'm just trying to understand how their life may be impacted by the perceptions of others, especially if it is known they are obviously male. I, for one, have nothing but the greatest respect and admiration for these folks because they truely have the courage to be themselves.:)

[shannonsilk]

You're right. There are a lot of expectations for women. The unwritten rule is that they should look their best at all times. They should fix their hair, wear tastefully applied makeup, and not wear sweats,etc. It's a lot different for CD's as we can choose when to do the whole process.
If a guy is strong and forceful that's good, but for a woman she's a bi**h.

I think I'll take the easier road and stay a guy. I'm shallow-i know.

[Lissa Stevens]

For me 24/7 is not just a goal. I don't dress for the thrill or to relax. I dress because it feels "right" to me.

[vivianann]

For some of us dressing 24/7 is what makes us feel whole and our selves, we do not have to be all glamed up all the time, but we need to present as a woman, even if we are wearing womens pants and shirt with light makup on. I am sorry Salandra, but just accept us for who we are and who cares what society thinks, for the most part society is becoming more accepting of us, however there is a long way to go, we just need to be pioneers in living the way we feel complete. :2c::hugs: Viv

[Badwolf]

I'd love to be passable and dress 24/7 for stretches of time butttttt then again I also agree with the fact that its limited time makes it more special. More exciting. It makes it a lot nicer :)

[SarahHall]

I have had times when I could stayed dressed up 24/7 and really enjoyed every second of it.

[jessielee]

provocative.
as ever, dear Sal.
but for those who tire of it day in and day out,
we offer the fresh persecutive of not taking it for granted
or rejoicing in what so sadly may jade.
never was jaded with being drab, just knew it wasn't right.
like Lissa, dressing for me is returning to the home denied by birth.
how wonderful for those ggs who, up here in the mountains, can role out of bed, not shave or apply makeup, can hit the slopes or the pitches or pasture cattle or head up the trail or drive a rig. and all is well because they are people, not showthings. and then, if having a different job where presentation is important or for a nice occasion can really do it up, if they choose to. hats off, i sincerely am impressed. the versatile tomboy to model conversion potential is simply one of creation's greatest gifts.
i convert too, for my own integration, my own self acceptance.
i would be 100% female everyday 24/7 if i had had more belief in potential, in myself when younger before choices were made and wouldn't regret it. though my eyes of perspective today, wouldn't take it for granted, wouldn't feel the pressure to live up to glamor magazine standards but would be free.
i believe.
but, genetically, i can't, so i won't, as tempting as it can be.
and yet i perceive we carry a light of glorifying all that is femme
even for those who can't or won't see it that way.
even "plain, unglamorous" femme.
we illuminate a potential drudge
displaying it as an everyday miracle
for those with eyes to see.

cup is more than half full,
jessie

[docrobbysherry]

I can't dress out. But I wouldn't want to. I'd have to be SO careful to make sure my outfit, makeup, etc. etc. was all just so. And doing that 24/7? I don't think so.

What I don't understand is, so many people saying they r more comfortable in women's clothes.
What's more comfortable than a loose shirt, jeans, and loafers? And it's so easy to put together. U don't even have to think about it! Just wear whatever is washed!

[Sonia Kiss]

Mm. Good questions, Salandra. I hope you don't mind this 24/7 girl answering. I just can't resist reacting to a number of the questions you raised.


Most of us really enjoy being our femme selves to the point of saying it's not a "self" it's the real "us", this is who I really am and we enjoy the feeling of looking and being pretty as if it's to be preferred as to who we are as a guy. How many times have we caught ourselves saying something like:"I can't wait until this is over so I can get dressed?" Fair enough and I've been there myself and can appreciate the feeling and sometimes, in fact, we want to make the go for 24/7, which I did for awhile. I did soon get tired of it however.

I know one other friend with the story--tried 24/7 for a bit, then decided it wasn't for her and that she liked part time much better. Now you have me wondering what the distribution looks like of time until "deciding against full time" among women who have tried it and then decided against it.


Suppose, though, if you had the option of doing it and could see your way clear to do it all of the time,possibly with feminine enhancements, would you do it? You may be saying:"What are you,nuts? Of course, in a heartbeat." Think before you answer. The reason I say this is that even when it may be considered easy and preferred (by us), it's a lot of work, not only to maintain the appearance but the image as well. Just ask any genetic woman.

Or any full time girl regardless of her chromosomes!


We feel it is so easy and so much to be preferred over who we are but is it?

Mm, I never had the illusion that it would be easy. But prefered? Or...really...you know, that whole clause is going to read as nonsense to a lot of transsexuals. First they're going to bristle at the word "prefered" but then, "over who we are"?? "I AM a woman!" they will say. Not a preference, not a choice, they will say.


What would we do if returning to the haven of guyhood was no longer an option and we had no choice but to carry on en femme all of the time?

You mean in some Twilight Zone like scenario? Because of course, some people have gone as far as having surgery and still returned to their previous gender. In the Twilight Zone scenario, our hapless MTF is condemned to living as a woman--in this sexist world--in hopeless despair because they don't want this more difficult life. Ok, so what if? Don't like the beauty competition? Don't compete. It's ok, lots of women don't. Don't like sexism? Fight it! That's best, of course, but it also works to avoid it as much as possible. Change jobs, move to a different community, change out some of your friends. All compromises, but they help. At the bottom of it all are claims that a woman's life is "more difficut" (my words!) or that a man's life is a "haven" (your's :P ) Try introducing this claim in a mixed group of men and women--then stand back. I don't know, I really don't, if at the bottom of it all either world is any easier. I kind of suspect that it's about the same.


Quite honestly, for the most part,our idea of what it is all about is miles away from the reality.

Nn. I think so too. I could play advocate for the devil here, but I think I won't.


You may say but I know what it's like because of the reaction of others when I'm dressed, out and about, I feel, I do, I enjoy. No thin so Baba Louie, what we see is just the tip of the iceberg.

Yes.


To really be perceived as a woman we have to be willing to be on the receiving end of how others would react to us and most of the treatment, despite the political correctness of the world is anything but, not to mention the constant pressure to be this or that. Talk about an uphill battle. I really have to hand it to the gals who hold their own in this world.

Well, thank you. You know, there's being perceived as a woman by strangers, on sight in public spaces; and then there's being perceived as a woman by friends and other associates who really know something about you. These people see how we hold up under stresses like politically incorrect treatment, and asses us on much more than our appearance. Somewhere in there, I think, is what really distinguishes the transsexuals. Yes, creating the illusion that is being a cross dresser is a heck of a lot of work. Creating the illusion of innate femininity (that is being a transgenderist?) is even more work. Having innate femininity--that is being a transsexual--is not work. It is just being ourselves. Being a woman is not our uphill battle. Living as a woman is the same uphill battle that all women fight. Living as a transwoman, now, yes, we have special battles, many shared by empathizers from all over the TG landscape and in fact the greater LGBT landscape.


There is also the pressure of constantly needing or wanting to look nice either by design or implication. Even though many gals look great naturally, there is the "grand beauty illusion" out there that the "perfect woman" should look like this or that. And we thought we had it rough? We fuss and obsess but it's mostly on a part time basis.

You do have it rougher. (lol) Being part time probably drives you to fuss and obsess much more than if you were 24/7. That's part of your curse. :P Sorry! :D


My point is if we really want to go through all of that just to look like a woman and "be" a woman all of the time, don't you think there may be just a little bit more to the feelings behind that?

Yes, but....


If we are going to go to that much effort, personally I would try to determine if indeed I wanted to pursue SRS.

Mm, ok, sure. But I don't see SRS as the be all and end all of transition. I think I have lots of company there.


The only real way to determine that is with therapy and a RLT.

So the SOC tells us...


Just the point of living 24/7 does not answer the question for me and if there is a point and purpose behind the desire, I would want to know what it is once and for all.

I agree that a RLT is a rather naive qualification for SRS. What better way though, to learn if you would like to live 24/7, than to try living 24/7! I hope I'm not losing sight of the points you are trying to make here, but when you say "the point and purpose behind the desire," you mean the desire to live as a woman 24/7, right? This is "to look like a woman and 'be' a woman all of the time," right?

On this, I can speak from experience, as I've nearly completed living my first year 24/7. I feel I had a rather unusual opportunity to do this, based on my situation with my work, friends, family, and community. When I started full time, I didn't know if I was TS or not. I didn't have a clear concept of what TS meant, but then, I wasn't on a mission to answer that specific question. This was not a RLT under the observation of a gender therapist. It was not to meet any condtions for SRS. I started this solely because I thought I wanted to live 24/7. I knew it was possible that I would try it and ultimately not like it.

So one year later here, I'll make a few observations. (Just a few, since this is your thread.) I can say that yes, it turned out that I did like 24/7. I can say that I can think of no better way to answer the questions, "would I? could I?" than to try. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants the answer. And I'll say that I learned things about myself, about femininity, and about our world, that I had no idea I would learn. Answers to questions I never whould have thought to ask. And thus yes, I sure have a new understanding of my desire to live as a woman.


That is my thinking on it anyway. Personally, I could catch any ball thrown my way and have more or less proven I could do it. Having the endurance to do it all of the time is a different "ball game" all together though. Are we really ready to play it? Only we can answer that:)

Now see, dear Salandra, that's the real difference between you and me--I could never catch a ball.

Love ya! :)
Sonia

[Joanne f]

I don`t know if this is going to make any sense ,only to me , i would have no problem being a female all the time as in having a real female body but i would not want to be fem all the time as i like to do to many things that being dressed fem would just not be good for, a lot of the time i feel that if i put on a wig and false breasts i am trying to change me as who i am but realise that i need to do that if i want to wear the type of clothes i like out in public ( ok maybe i could get away with a skirt or sarong which i have done) so no i would not want to be really fem all the time if it meat having to do so much to try and make me look fem , and that would take a miracle :D but it is nice to have a go some times .



joanne

[Kate Simmons]

Thank you for your responses and observations my friends and special thanks to Sonia. I learned a lot from your insight Hon.:)

[marie354]

As someone that has gone 24/7...
It's not so much of "the thrill" of dressing for me any more, but rather a feeling of being normal.

My psychologist thought that I was hiding a drinking problem, when it was really my crossdressing that was at the root of it.
I'm a much happier person since I came out.

I wear skirts/tops or dresses every day now and love every minute of it.
I'm going into my 8th month living as a woman now, and it feels great!

They want me to go a full year before HRT and that's OK. I waited 50 years to come out fully, so what's one more.
I can now do my makeup in about 5 minutes, and most days, another 5 fixing my hair.

Anyway... Going 24/7 is indeed a lot different than just doing it once in a while. For me it was the right thing to do.
~Sandy~

[MarinaTwelve200]

Living circumstances not withstanding, The psychology of one who dresses 24/7 is definately different from one who CDs ocasionally when the urge hits. They may be totally different conditions that only share a common thread of wearing clothing of the opposite gender.

I also think that those who go out (or wish to) are dealing with something related to a form of Exhibitionism , while us private CDers dont have that need.

I think we often forget that there are different forms of CD that fit different urges and needs in different people. This is likely the source of much of our confusion and the difficulty many of us have withdealing with WHY we CD.
The clothe wearing aspect may be the only thing in common with several drastically different psychological conditions, each having a different genisis.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I know for me I do not think I could go 24/7 365 in and RLT situation, it sounds great I just think after about a month or more I would fall into the category like many women are in today thats dressing for comfort and dressing up as needed.

Now if I could dress for 24/7 for 2 weeks or more knowing I can just go back to male it would be interesting at first and with me knowing I would have 2 to 3 weeks dressed I think I would be able to maintain my look, however I know for me I would have days where I would want a male break for at least one day if I could, I think the hard part for me is the longer I dress the more of my fem-side comes out, I did 17 hours and I caught myself bringing out my fem side

[RikkiOfLA]

Ready for another answer from someone who is 24/7 (this time, from someone who still consdiers herself a crossdresser, not a transsexual)?

First, let me say that being 24/7 is not about being "femme" all the time. I still have moods and situations in which I feel "femme" and want to get dressed up. So, when that hits me, I do get dressed up. Thank God for fashion! I can turn to the world of current fashion, and put together a look that is eye-catching, even sexy, without looking like a ****, or a school girl, or some other fetish. Of course, when I do, I get from my SO, "what is it with you and short skirts???" And after 8 years full time, I sure don't have the excuse of inexperience, or not getting the chance very often!:heehee:

And yes, I still have the experience of the "guy" inside of me reasserting himself sometimes. After all, my years of enjoying things that society brands "men's interests" aren't going away, just because I dress like a woman now. I still love trains, historic Army uniforms, landscape photography, hiking, and driving my sports car in the mountains! So I do those things, and thoroughly enjoy them. And I notice other women doing the same things. And I smile.

The big difference with being 24/7 is integrating the different parts of me at the same time, rather than at different times. In other words, I am still the male parts of myself, and the female parts. I just do them at the same time, rather than saying "I need some boy time" or "I need some girl time."

The longer I have gone 24/7, the more serious my life has become. This is, I think, the real difference between men and women in our society. Men are still allowed to be boys, on a regular basis. They are allowed to play sports now and then, or even to sit around a bar getting drunk and cheering loudly for their team. Women, on the other hand, seem to be fast losing the ability to have fun, to be "girls" again. My mother's generation seemed better at it, than most women today! My women friends compliment me comfortably when I wear jeans and a sweater. If I am dressed more exotically, they still compliment me, but their tone of voice sounds forced, like they're trying to be polite, when they really want to say, "aren't you a bit overdressed?"

Still, like everyone else, I answer to my own muse. I have done landscape photography (in a busy national park, even) in a miniskirt. No one found that odd, which surprised me. On the other hand, obvious railfanning, like riding a subway train and staring out the front window, in a sexy outfit, strikes the general public as odd. Not quite sure why. Maybe it's something about inner city people (the ones who ride subways for practical transportation) equating sexy clothes with streetwalkers?

What being 24/7 is really about, ultimately, is the freedom to be treated as a woman by other people. No, it's not the chivalry of having doors opened and chairs pulled out. That really is almost dead. It's neither gratifying nor annoying anymore. It happens when you least expect it, never when you would count on it (for example, when you have your hands full of packages!). Rather than that, it's not having to be part of the constant macho competitiveness between men--the world of bravado and deference that is going on every time two men inadvertently make eye contact. Women can look each other in the eye (or not), or even brush up against one another without worrying for a moment about starting a fight. That's refreshing! Women can walk into a hardware store and talk to a clerk without having to prove that we know every bit as much as he does about nutdrivers or miniature hardware or whatever parts we are buying that week. We can simply know our way around (or not) and it's no big deal. In fact, we chuckle (behind their backs, of course) at the men who are surprised because we know something about sportscars or landscape photography or whatever. Don't want to bruise their fragile little egos, now do we! :heehee:

Great thread, Salandra!

Blessings,
Rikki

[me2]

For me it’s just a very special thing that I keep for myself. I’m a male from birth and for the most part im find with that. But for me to just be able to let the tuff stuff go and just relax in some soft pretty things is such a wonderful treat for me and I like keeping it a “wonderful little treat” Mind you, that’s just for me. The world is just to hard aplace not to live the way that makes us the most happy.

[Andine]

Great thread!

Some great insights ladies!

I'm learning more about myself as I read your insights! Thanks to
Jessie, Rikkie, Marie , just to name a few.
I find that I treat my dressing as a holiday of opportunity, but I'm happy to share it with people I call my friends.
Having said that I do a certain amount of "Maintenance " so that I can change over more easilly.

I really need to get my voice better than it is ... the Utube things show me how possible it is ... I just need more practice!

I did 5 days as Andine in the special circumstances provided by the Sydney Mardi Gras and had an absolute ball! I didn't care if I got made or not, just wether I was accepted or not ... and I was!

its all great fun, and I have had a good time every time so far!

My last effort was local on the 1st of Aprill, and I had a great time ... I don't even panic any more!

Regards

[deja true]

Sonia's and Rikki's posts show us that, like Marina says, we are each a completely different person. We only happen to share this same singular desire among a host of other desires. As a group we've banded together here. It's as if every red-headed person in the world banded together on the strength of that one trait alone.

(Remember the SouthPark episode where that happened? It took the entire episode for the reds to figure out that they weren't all the same person. And that the trait that they thought united them was just one tiny thing that they all just happened to have in common. )

So it is with us. We may each of us realy differ from our sister as much as a paramecium does from an eggplant, we just have this singular trait in common.

We're all lumped together in the eyes of the 'real world' though, so here we all are together. I don't mind. I'm finding paramecia to be incredibly interesting, even though I wouldn't want to be one!

respect & love (for every living creature in this space, dressed or not),

deja


Does this crazy lady need more coffee, or what?

[Kate Simmons]

I get the spirit of what Rikki is saying. Actually, my true goal came to me a few years back. I had pretty much established who I was in a femme way but something seemed to be missing. What I realized is that I could not (and would not) sacrifice part of who I was for the sake of any particular feelings. I needed my guy feelings as much as I needed my girl feelings and simply exchanging one for the other would not work, hence the goal of integration. What I really wanted was to be accepted as myself and not simply as Rich or Ericka. Put simply, my feelings needed to be interchangable, despite my appearance.

This isn't as easy as it looks and once I developed a strong femme base, it was quite tempting to continue with that 24/7 as there was no question in my mind I could do it, so had to put my foot down on the whole thing as my own dynamics and self perception are way more difficult to handle than the feedback, acceptance and perception of others.

While it would be relatively easy for me to express and present 24/7 in a femme way, I decided against it for the simple reason that I wanted to be accepted for being who I was no matter what and created Salandra for this purpose, which equates to total freedom for myself and the person of Salandra being synonymous with that in a state of "simply being", regardless of who or what I appear to be with the final stage turning it all over to who I am as Richard. No matter how one approaches it, it's not easy sometimes being yourself but well worth the effort to me.:)

[Mary Morgan]

There is no question that being a woman is hard and mostly thankless. Society asks so much from women and gives so much less. Why then do some of us need to be women, want to be women, or just occassionally want to dress and act like women? It's a brain thing, it comes from the reasoning center. It is product of what we are, who we are, what we have experienced.

No doubt that all you say is true about what is required to answer the question as to going fulltime, or having SRS. I can only tell you that for my friends who share this transgender life, their answers are clear to them, and almost nothing about how women are perceived or treated, or how hard it is to be a woman would/has stand/stood in their way.