how do you work up the courage to go out in public while dressed?

[Rayna]

I keep trying to bring myself to go out in public, but I can't seem to ever follow through with it. Too much anxiety. How did you girls work up the courage to do it?

[GypsyKaren]

Rayna, I just got tired of all the hiding and did it. I'm having the time of my life and I wished I'd done it years ago. A suggestion for a first time out; dress up and go out for a drive some night with the stereo cranking. You'll feel the freedom as soon as you pull away from your house,and you'll want more.
I just started going out a couple of months ago after 40 years in the closet, now I do week-end trips en-femme. just take your time,and be confident in yourself. That not only is the key to passing, but more important. To me, passing isn't all about looking exactly like a GG, but how comfortable I feel about myself when I'm out. Remember, there's always room for one more girl out in the world.
GypsyKaren

[Donna Delite]

Ranya, you're not alone, I to am trying to work up the courage to go out dressed

[Rayna]

Ranya, you're not alone, I to am trying to work up the courage to go out dressed
Please donna, you look wonderful! I wish I was even half as passable as you!

[Natasha Anne]

Spend time making yourself look awesome. Don't rush. Play your favorite tunes, pamper yourself, take time putting on your makeup, enjoy dressing up, then...

RUSH like hell into your car and go somewhere before you lose the courage.

It's called commiting regardless of your fears, and believe me the first time is the hardest, but will give you the greatest rush.

The first time I went out I got stopped by a traffic cop for jumping a stop sign. I still survived, so go fo it, you'll wonder why you didn't sooner.

You could also find a TV or GG friend to go out with, it always makes it easier if you have someone to share your fears with and to giggle (nervously laugh) with when you are made by a teenage school girl.

[Marianne]

Rayna,
perhaps 'team up'?

at worst, team up with another t-girl who can't run away as fast as you? :)

[Rayna]

Rayna,
perhaps 'team up'?

at worst, team up with another t-girl who can't run away as fast as you? :)


Marianne, you never fail to help me laugh :)

Is this like the grizzley bear scenario?

[Donna Delite]

thanks for the compliment Rayna, sorry I mis-spelled your name the first time. I will do it someday, but I would need to do it with someone. :)

[JocelynG]

Rayna,
It isn't easy getting the courage to take those steps outside into the public world,but it is alot easier to be able to do it with a supportive friend. That is what I did my first time.It doesn't get any easier so you just need to take a deep breath and do it.Also go somewhere remote and where there are not as many people around.I went to a city park and there were a few people around but the anxiety had passed.Hope this helps.Hugs

[DonnaT]

Attitude and confidence. Set those and don't worry about passing or not. Most times we will not pass. Trick is to not let it bother you. If you show embarrassment about it, then you indicate that Cding is wrong. Set your mind to the fact that you have the right to dress as you desire.

[Marianne]

Marianne, you never fail to help me laugh :)

Is this like the grizzley bear scenario?

Is that the line about how to tell the difference between a grizzly bear and a brown bear?

A grizzly chases you up a tree, then pushes the tree over before eating you.

A brown bear chases you up a tree, then climbs up the tree to eat you.

-----

But seriously, there's safety in numbers. Draft one of the folks here, and make sure she's wearing taller heels than you.



:D

[Sigrid]

I went out completely dressed for the first time two weeks ago. But not after several times androgynously (see thread). That helped build some confidence.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7893

So my first time out, I went out to a beach very early in the morning. There were only two people that I saw, but never came within 1/4 mile of each other. I know allot of people here have gone out alone at night - that would scare the hell out of me.

I'll probably go there again, during the day when there are more and more people and as my confidence builds. I may also seek out CD/TG specific activities to attend.

~Sigrid

[paulaN]

donna t has it right. attitude and confidence, these two things will take you a long way. I also wouldn't try a busy shoping mall the frist time, a good friend can be a real confidence builder, or maybe a cd function in your area. start slow and go on a short outing. my frist outing was on holloween. that's always fun. but attitude and confidence was all I had on my frist trip to the mall late at night befor closing.I had so much fun shoping. good luck.

[samanthajay]

it helps if you have freinds who support you and also gay places are great too. :D

[Holly]

Rayna, Donna hit it straight on... attitude. The idea of going out with another girl is good and if you can do it, would recommend it. Abscent that, set a goal for yourself and then do it (remember the book "Babysteps" in the movie What About Bob?). Go for a drive or a walk while dressed. How about a movie? Just act like it is the most normal thing in the world. The fact is that 99% of the people around you won't care! Go and enjoy yourself!

[sarah]

You have recieved all the bsst advice so there is little to add ..just to say my first trip was by car that makes you comfortable....then find a spot and walk round the car and drive off...this will give you a start to longer walks and soon you will find confidence to go further ...good luck...xxxx

[gender_blender]

"Just do it."

;-)

Charlie

[Vivian Best]

To me you are missing one of the most exciting parts of dressing. I get a tremendous rush by going out. You might consider just going outside after dark a few times or anything that is reasonably safe for you and gain courage from and extend to longer trips.

I don't get the opportunity to go out often but last weel I did. I dressed completely and drove to a nearby town and went through the drive up window of a Dairy Queen. The man at the pay window didn't give me a second look (that could be bad, you know now that I look back! O well.).

To me it's like the saying "try it you'll like it". One thing I don't do is to go in places where there a lot of people. I stay away from that. I don't shop dressed, I might buy gas for the car if necessary but I do limit my going out to destinations I can control and do not put me at risk.

Vivian

[BonnieJG]

Hello:
you're not alone, I to am trying to work up the courage to go out fulley dressed also . I put stuff, under my reg men's couthes when i go out right now BUT one day I'm going out

[Deanna2]

Hi Rayna

It depends on what you mean by 'public'.

I remember my first time in 'public'. I was at home alone all dressed up - wig and everything - and I had to go out to my car in the driveway to get something. This was about eleven pm. I had my keys with me and I thought 'what the hell', I'll go for a drive. Some how or other I wound up at the local shopping centre. I parked in the car park and walked along a row of shops. I must admit that I was looking at my reflection in the windows, but I was out in 'public'. You can't imagine the high I was on when I eventually got home. In all it took about 1/2 an hour.

Life evolves.

Luvya

[Fallen Angel]

those first steps into the unknow is hard for a lot of ladies,ive been going out for years and still remember my first time i was scared to death. but the more you do it the easyer its gets i post a lot of pics of me going out here on the forum in hopes that it gives some courage not to be afraid to venture out you have the world at your finger tips find a cd freindly place get dressed and step out your front door and close it behind you. and most of all relax and have fun!! xxx