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Patrice
04-02-2008, 07:41 PM
Maybe Im in a situation where Im more free to take risks, but things have went well for me so far.

Bit of background, I have no SO or children, one sister, few friends (friendship means a lot to me, so I dont make casual friendships easily) and my parents are deceased. Also more or less estranged from the vast majority of my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). The few friendships I have are deep and strong and with a couple exceptions know about my wardrobe choices and are accepting.

So the fact that I have no real responsibilities besides myself, I guess Im a bit more free to express my feminine side,which I have been in greater and greater degrees. Total underdressing, progressively darker nail-polish (over-time) and obviously feminine earrings (smaller hoops and conservative studs, but my favorite studs are silver hearts). I show the top-edge of my sportsbras like a tank-top style undershirt and will be increasing my nail-polish from a silver-pink to a darker brownish/pink this weekend (eventual goal of a killer antique bronze). Im also letting my hair grow out with the goal, in 6 months or so tops, of getting an androgynous/borderline fem hairstyle.

Bottom line is it works so far, my friends accept me, my coworkers seem to do so as well, and as long as I jump through the dress-code hoops and stay semi-conservative in my neat, clean appearance my employer CANT say a word.

The first time I wore panties outside the house, I was in mortal fear that someone would see (with their X-Ray anti-gay goggles) and point me out to all! Since I have learned that the main thing holding back my happiness was my own fear. Im getting close to a very comfortable level of integration, closer to fundamental happiness than Ive been in years. And Ive also noticed that the more fem I add to my day-to-day paradigm, the less often I need to break out the skirts and heels.

But then again its never been about looking feminine to me, its been all about feeling it.

melissacd
04-02-2008, 08:33 PM
Patrice,

I absolutely agree that it is about how you feel and each of us has different ways of getting to that good place in how we feel. I am glad that you shared this with us.

Huggs
Melissa

ColleenW
04-02-2008, 09:11 PM
Hi Patrice -

It's been my experience that most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they probably won't notice or care, therefore no real reason for fear. Espically if your friendships are so strong. :battingeyelashes:

deja true
04-02-2008, 09:25 PM
Oh Patrice!

The beginning of your story is mine, too. No family, few friends.

But you live in a more accepting age, a more accepting community, a more accepting society than I.

I'm jealous, dear one, but not evil jealous.

I can at least live vicariously through your progression of small triumphs and be happy for you.

Live your life well.

respect & love,

deja

Byllie
04-02-2008, 09:42 PM
I'm getting close to a very comfortable level of integration, closer to fundamental happiness than Ive been in years. And Ive also noticed that the more fem I add to my day-to-day paradigm, the less often I need to break out the skirts and heels.

But then again its never been about looking feminine to me, its been all about feeling it.
Wonderful! I would love to sport an androgynous look, but at my age I might just look like an aging queen. Sad, but true.

Angie G
04-03-2008, 12:42 AM
Well Patrice good for you hun. If it makes you happy go for it. :hugs:
Angie