when people act like you're a dangerous psycho looking at women's clothes

[Raquel June]

I don't mind people thinking I'm weird, or thinking I'm a pervert, or giggling a little, or making a joke when I'm buying girl stuff. It really doesn't bother me -- I don't really take life all that seriously. Besides, I'm pretty casual/normal about shopping, and it really doesn't seem like people even notice me most of the time.

What is hard for me is when people seem to be scared of me because I'm in the women's section. Yesterday I was wandering around a couple shoe stores around lunch and I really got the vibe that a few younger girls thought I was a scary, creepy, dangerous person. One girl said, "Uhh, can I help you, sir?" in a quivery voice. It made me pretty sad.

People who have been selling clothes/shoes for a few years know how CDs are, though. I went back today to one of the stores and bought the shoes I had been looking at, and a middle-aged woman rang me up. She was really nice, had a smile on her face, didn't act scared of me, didn't make any jokes about me buying size 11 wide women's shoes. So I'm feeling a little better.

[Jodi]

When they act like that, give them a big friendly smile. That is always disarming.

Jodi

[Nicki B]

IWhat is hard for me is when people seem to be scared of me because I'm in the women's section. Yesterday I was wandering around a couple shoe stores around lunch and I really got the vibe that a few younger girls thought I was a scary, creepy, dangerous person. One girl said, "Uhh, can I help you, sir?" in a quivery voice. It made me pretty sad.

I've been buying shoes, underwear, clothes and accessories for my partner, while in male mode, for the last 28 yrs - it's a perfectly normal thing? :strugglin

[TGMarla]

I have better luck when I wipe the drool off my chin.

[TracyH]

Usually I jump at them and scream "Boo!"

Security has only escorted me out a few times.

[docrobbysherry]

When I was in Goodwill buying those brand new size 11 MaryJanes for $3. I've already got so many black heels, but they fit like gloves!

Oh, the story reminded me of the size 11 shoes I just bought, nothing else was similar I guess. They never bat an eye, no matter what I buy there! Including the fluffy, frilly, ballerina skirt I bot with the shoes.

[Niya W]

While buying shoes at payless , the girl said do you want a separate gift receipt. I said no. She said is this a gift ?? I said no. Then she said are these for you. With out skipping a beat I said yes , like it was no big thing.

[danielle_from_cal]

That sounds very strange. I have never experienced anything like it. It's usually me that feels nervous, not the sales girls.

Maybe you should go dressed as a woman. Based on your photos on your posts, I think you look pretty. Maybe they would be more comfortable with that.

[DemonicDaughter]

On my profiles I have a little paragraph that says something like...

"I'm not like this to scare you. I think if this scares you then you're a f***ing moron."

I'm talking about being "gothic" as I'm often labeled and yes, I've actually had people react as if they were scared of me. It doesn't matter really who you are, where you are or what you are dressed like. Some people are just f***ing morons who cannot think past their own isolated cube called life.

Its sad, its pathetic and its just plain idiotic. I'm sorry they make you feel that way.

[StefanieWA]

It may be just me but I have been shopping for a little while and not once have I been asked if I need assistance, it may be because I pick the big self help stores lol. I would hate to think that it is because I'm a male ....

Stefanie

[sissystephanie]

I have been shopping in women's departments, both for myself and for my late wife, for over 50 years. Never once have I experienced anything like what was described in the first post!

Maybe it is because I am confident in who, and what I am! If I am shopping for something for my wife, I am a man shopping for a gift for his wife. If I am shopping for myself, then I am Stephanie (even in drab!) shopping for herself. The stores want your money, they don't care who you are buying for!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, man underneath!

[Stargirl]

Today I went thrift shopping, and had to compete at the bra bin with two obnoxious teen girls. Listening to them flapping their lips with inane banter made me cringe. I grabbed a black bra, and sauntered to the kitchen gadgets. I would love to have had the girls replaced by a whole van full of crossdressers.

[Valerie Nicole]

Just a thought...but is it possible that since this was a young woman who was helping you, her nervousness had nothing to do with you? Some girls are just shy, and if she was new there, I suspect that just working was making her nervous. Of course I wasn't actually there, so it's hard for me to tell, but that was the first impression I got.

[Joy Carter]

I would love to have had the girls replaced by a whole van full of crossdressers.


I GIT SHOTGUN ! :D

[Angie G]

Don't let it bother you hun some people are afraid of what they don't understand. :hugs:
Angie

[kerrianna]

That nervousness you might have been feeling probably was more about them as sales clerks trying to figure out how to make you feel comfortable when they are presented with something more out of the norm.

Simple solution... don't read stuff into things you don't know for sure. Give them a big smile and let them know if you do want help or not, and if you do, then go ahead and ask.

IT'S NOT A CRIME FOR MEN TO BUY WOMEN'S CLOTHES.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I buy in both modes and never had any problem like that and frankly I don not care what people think do to the fact when I open my wallet and take the cash out things change real quick and if you want to tip the sales associate watch how they react the next time you come in.

[Rachel Morley]

I don't mind people thinking I'm weird, or thinking I'm a pervert, or giggling a little, or making a joke when I'm buying girl stuff.
Gosh, do you really think that people think way about you? ...you think that they think that you are weird or a pervert? Why do you think that? ... surely not just because you're buying women's clothes!? You could be buying them for lots of different reasons. Personally, I've never had anyone giggle or make a joke about me buying girl's clothes. I guess I must be lucky :strugglin:

[Brianna1]

It may be just me but I have been shopping for a little while and not once have I been asked if I need assistance, it may be because I pick the big self help stores lol. I would hate to think that it is because I'm a male ....
By StepanieWA

I was, up until November last year in the same region as Stephanie and may have even used the same stores and I never got much in the way of comment when I bought mainly shoes but clothes as well. They've said keep the docket in case it's the wrong size etc. but nothing negative. If challenged then I would say I'm buying it for someone...I don't tell them the someone is me!! I'm buying them for Brianna who is another person so I'm not telling lies. No, i'm not schizoid :battingeyelashes: The most recent comments I've had from sales girls at the local Target have been that really makes them a bargain (AU$12) I agreed and the last one said I really love these shoes, I said they are nice aren't they.

[Nicki B]

I GIT SHOTGUN ! :D

She already went for a kitchen implement.. :hiding:

[MJ]

Racquel ,
so next time go dressed your pretty and passable . you won't have any problems

[bridget thronton]

It seems to me that people are so involved in their own business that they really even turn their heads to look at me when I am out dressed (shopping, running errands, dining, etc.).

[TSchapes]

I had not been out in drab buying women clothes for years until this morning. I didn't want to spend a lot of money right now so I went to the Salvation Army. People looked at me, but no one said anything when I went into the changing rooms several times with a load full of women's clothes. No frightened looks or anything. So I took my time and had fun.

I went afterwards to the drug store to buy nails, and right in front of all the nails was a SA with a temporary demo table of hand cream. She asked me if I needed anything and I said yes, can you help me with these nails. We had a wonderful talk, I bought some nails and glue and she said come again!

My point is, I think things are changing. Your experience with those girls might have had more to do with the age and inexperience than anything you did. I'm sure what I would have done in that situation. Since I'm outgoing I probably would have said something like, "I'm sorry, do I scare you?" and try and show them "nothing to see here, crossdresser doing what he does".

When that happens to me in the future, and it probably will, I'll write back what I did do. lol

Love, Tracy

[Nicole Erin]

Raquel, it seems you have the damnedest luck with people sometimes.

En femme you look good and from the few male photos you posted, you look like a normal guy. I mean if I saw you in either mode, I would not think anything or pry into your business.

I don't know, maybe you act insecure and don't realise it?
Maybe you have the kind of luck I do - you tend to come across a lot of people who are a-holes?

Well as I don't know, all I can say is ignore those who are morons like that DQ who was rude at the club, or the sales lady you met who was young and scared.

Thing is, if you act confident, people will seldom, if ever, give you a hard time.

And don't do what TracyH said. :heehee:

[Joanne f]

:D you should take my wife with you as she well purposely say something like , haven't you got one like the , if she sees some one looking at me when we are shopping and i have to stop her from saying "he wants a skirt got a problem with that " (me :o)




joanne

[brawearingbimbo]

I was in a JC Penneys asking for some 11 wide and was laughed at by the 2 young female clerks. I told them it was not funny and would they like to see how funny the manager thought it was. They had absolutly nothing to say. I think it's mostly the newer younger clerks that have the problems. I thought younger girls would not be bothered by it judging from some of the female like clothes some of the younger guys wear today.

[DemonicDaughter]

Today I went thrift shopping, and had to compete at the bra bin with two obnoxious teen girls. Listening to them flapping their lips with inane banter made me cringe. I grabbed a black bra, and sauntered to the kitchen gadgets. I would love to have had the girls replaced by a whole van full of crossdressers.

I get to be the hood ornament!!!!


I GIT SHOTGUN ! :D

Whatcha need the shotgun fir?


She already went for a kitchen implement.. :hiding:

:eek: A spoon?

[christid66]

Although no one has ever made any comments to me, I do try to wait until there aren't many people in the area.
However, I was in Kohls recently looking for some new lingerie and as soon as I picked up a bra, it seemed as if the whole of the store decided to visit the 'intimates' department. I did whatever any other woman would do.....I just carried on shopping.

[sweet_pea_07]

I'm usually in my own world whilst shopping to notice, really...:daydreaming:

[Amy Hepker]

I just go and look at anything I want and nobody says anything about it. Just smaile and have a good time. It's your life enjoy it the way you want.

[TxKimberly]

I've never had anyone treat me quite that way. I HAVE had women that I think got a bit more aggresive in their shoppeing when they see me looking through the rack. I can just hear their thought process:
"I'm getting through this rack before HE does! There might be something cute in there and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some GUY get it!"

[Sheena Pink]

The SA was probably new, probably shy and you're good looking so she choked up and got nervous and it made you uncomfortable.
( I was the shy, timid girl who would put her foot in her mouth with the big good looking guys so I can speak from experience, although I never did work in a clothing store)

[Steveo]

before i started dressing, no seriously, iwas buying some present for a cousin and the sale's lady kept making snide coments about them being for me, but i swere i was'nt dressing then.

[Jilmac]

Could it be that she may have been a newby on that job and not quite used to seeing customers who seem out of place? Just a little food for thought. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[jessielee]

When they act like that, give them a big friendly smile. That is always disarming.

Jodi

you know, i sincerely think we are the sweetest, gentlest, least scary girls they are likely to meet. for we are celebrating and liberating and breathing deeply the sweet stuff of existance instead of being all hung up sourpusses!
just a thought,
jessie
not scary