Troubled Mind?

[Jodeeuk]

Thanks for the welcome girlies, so Im not sure why im back to be honest,im not crossdressing, havnt been for years,

I guess its weighing on my mind, Ive told my New girl friend,of my past, I guess weve been going together for about a month, and shes ok, about it in my past, but has said shes not interested in it, in our future together,

I think thats fine, but I obviously have had some concerns/thoughts about it, but know I cant push her, at this early stage in our relationship, it has been kinda a whirlwind affair too, we've already talked about living together, and we both want kids, I guess I have a fear of my crossdressing will smash it all up, if I dont keep a tight hold of my crossdressing hunger.

my days of going out, and crossdressing seriously, I believe is over, for example, Im a big hairy bloke, 6'3" and about 300lbs and shavin/waxing hair makeup, nails etc, I think im too old and too fat, to look at all nice now, so I guess, that part is over. but I guess for me it was always a social thing for me, crossdressing to the hilt.
crossdressing partly, or dressing in lingerie, for mastabation, wasnt something I want, or ever did maybe when I was a child, not that there is anythig wrong with that at all.
I guess im confused about these urges revealing them selves again, and the fact they could put my new relationship at jeopardy.

I guess im using this forum as a way of confession, cause im also dealing with enormous guilt, just thinking about crossdressing again, after not cding for 6 or more years.

[TracyH]

Just ask yourself: Are you going to be happy never crossdressing ever again?

If you can look at yourself in the mirror and honestly answer that question with a "yes," then, by all means, keep going.

Otherwise, you've been going out with this girl for a month, she knows you used to crossdress. Tell her about your feelings. It's the right thing to do.

[docrobbysherry]

CA wants u to come an admit that, " Yes, I'm a CD!".
(That's Crossdressers Anonymous for those of u that don't go to the meetings.)

[Jodeeuk]

maybe im hungering for times past though, more than the cding, my ex wife and I had a pretty wild time, we used to go to clubs and the social club every weekend and I was allways dressed femme, hat was 10 years ago or more, maybe thats what I miss, and shuldnt try to recreate, and just look fondly at old photos etc.

[danielle_from_cal]

I suggest that you just not worry about it too much. When the time is right, and it is more convenient, you might get dressed again. It does not sound like you think you are going to die or anything. Just take it day by day and at least realize that you have experienced something wonderful and that, if you choose, you can experience it again. There is only one person in your way: You. If you are truly unhappy with not dressing, then find a way to dress. Otherwise, cherish the memories and the anticipation of future opportunities.

[Lara Smith]

My personal take is this. Leaving out the social aspect of dressing, would you still have dressed then? Do you want to dress now even if it is just for you and no one would know? If you were not in this relationship, would you go ahead and dress even if you never left the house?

I would never advise trashing a relationship that you cherish. But you must be honest with yourself about dressing. If an honest assesment of yourself tells you that you need to dress regardless, you need to consider sparing yourself and most importantly your SO the pain that could result. Fair?

[pamisme]

Just let your so know that you mite still get dressed,
Dont lie and say never will I do that. All you can tell her is that you will try not to.

Pam:)

[Angie G]

Dress or not just do what works for you hun. Dont't go thew y that make you unhappy. And may I say you made a goog looking woman. :hugs:
Angie

[Kris]

Thanks for the welcome girlies, so Im not sure why im back to be honest,im not crossdressing, havnt been for years,

I guess its weighing on my mind, Ive told my New girl friend,of my past, I guess weve been going together for about a month, and shes ok, about it in my past, but has said shes not interested in it, in our future together,

I think thats fine, but I obviously have had some concerns/thoughts about it, but know I cant push her, at this early stage in our relationship, it has been kinda a whirlwind affair too, we've already talked about living together, and we both want kids, I guess I have a fear of my crossdressing will smash it all up, if I dont keep a tight hold of my crossdressing hunger.

my days of going out, and crossdressing seriously, I believe is over, for example, Im a big hairy bloke, 6'3" and about 300lbs and shavin/waxing hair makeup, nails etc, I think im too old and too fat, to look at all nice now, so I guess, that part is over. but I guess for me it was always a social thing for me, crossdressing to the hilt.
crossdressing partly, or dressing in lingerie, for mastabation, wasnt something I want, or ever did maybe when I was a child, not that there is anythig wrong with that at all.
I guess im confused about these urges revealing them selves again, and the fact they could put my new relationship at jeopardy.

I guess im using this forum as a way of confession, cause im also dealing with enormous guilt, just thinking about crossdressing again, after not cding for 6 or more years.

Holy cow! Can you get any more negative?

I guess I wont ever understand because I am not a cd'er but you write about telling this new partner your past as if you have committed murder and have to admit spending 20 years in prison. Why do you find it necessary to tell her every detail of your life? I am not suggesting lying to her by any means but you don't need to confess.
Once more you haven't killed anyone. You can let go of the guilt that you feel. Guilt is trying to make a better past. You speak so fondly of the past and how much fun you had..and as you I am sure have read that chances are sometime you probably will come back.... just don't promise that you'll never do it again.....

AND LET GO of this shame...

And you can be sexy as hell, no matter what size or shape you are!!
t

[Vicky_Scot]

You may never dress again but you will always be a crossdresser.

[jessielee]

dear Jodee,
i hope you can leave that door open and that your SO knows its a part of you. there've been so many threads about being honest with ones partner and i believe it. if i could go back, i would have let her know before, if i'd realized i wanted to come out. she may well have rejected me flat out. but it would have been revealing of her love for me. or not.
you're so cute Jodee.
i pray for peace and happiness for you.
keep comin' back!
if you like.
jessie

[Sarah Doepner]

I wouldn't rule out wanting to dress again, even if the new relationship seems to. I experienced a period in my life between the ages of about 25 to 40 where I didn't have much of a desire to dress. From what I've read, that's not too uncommon. Since I hit my late 40's it's been as strong as ever.
You look good in your photo. That tells me you paid attention and enjoyed what you did. If I were a betting woman, I'd have money on the desire returning. Keep your options open and be honest with yourself. It should work out.