Have you Fallen In Love Here?

[deja true]

Not fallen in lust....that's easy.

Not 'love'...as in "I love that skirt".

But love....as in a tenderness and concern and a need for physical closeness.

What is love?

[Dalece]

I guess for me It Is A form of Love I have for all The girls on this forum. Those I talk to either E-mail Personally on the phone. To those I try and help and all the girls her that have helped my. Yes Sister I do Love you all. My attraction is a sense of physical. In I mean that I would love to give all a loving from my heart hug, As a family member as witha common bond we all have in who we are. What we have inside us. Our common stuggels and trials and tribuations that love. A love that can make you sad when you read or hear about A Sister here that is either good news or bad. A love that will make me laugh or giggle from something someone said. Yes I found love here:love:

[Angie G]

Yes I have mad head over high heel in love with all you lovely people here as I would my own family you all are my extended family and I do love you all. :hugs:
Angie

[Carroll]

there are a few people here I have found to be very attractive, both TG and GG. I could easily get attached but I have no interest in other males...I think (I see some here and I wonder sometimes:o ), and I am very happily married

[MJ]

yes in a family way i love and respect my sisters. after all we do understand what we all go through .
And i fall in love with a the gg here... too bad there all taken :love:

[Nicki B]

Deja, you worry me...

[deja true]

Deja, you worry me...

But Nicky, it's women (not girls) like you and DD and Kehlyr and a host of others that have taught me in this very short time about the possibilites of love and our false assumptions about gender's role in it.

For this I thank you all and revere you all more than you can imagine.

You've engendered in me an appreciation for feelings and emotions that had been lost to me for many years.

I've been crying this morning since I first thought to post this question, and my tears are tears of joy.

I'm not becoming weaker than I was, I'm stronger and more complete for the love of others.

You've seen these last words before, but they are as true as ever,

respect & love,

deja

[Nicki B]

Hun,

You sound as if you are peeling back the layers and discovering the real you, which is good - but remember the internet isn't the real world... just don't let yourself get hurt when you dismantle the armour-plating? (I'm quite sure you will respect others) :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I tend to agree with Nicki Deja. Although many of us here share our true selves and feelings, nothing beats getting to know someone in person.:)

[docrobbysherry]

As Nikki said, "This is the internet, not real life". As a typical male, with typical male friends, I've been able to discuss things here, that I could NEVER discuss with my REAL friends. Do I feel closer to some of u than my REAL friends? Sometimes. But I know that feeling will not last.

On the other hand, I've experienced feelings and emotions with, and from some of u, that I've NEVER had with my REAL friends! Some of u r very special to me and I wish we lived closer. I would wish for some of u to become my REAL friends.

It's not "love" for me, deja, but there r certainly deep feelings involved. It would be hard to describe what I've felt reading and posting on this site, to an outsider.
" For 6 months I've been posting and reading letters from men who dress like women. Of those, many feel like they r women inside." I've developed some close online friendships there.

Most folks would probably think I was nuts!

[TxKimberly]

I think the word love might be over doing it a bit, but there are a number of girls here that I have fond feelings for.

[Sonia Kiss]

...
What is love?

Maybe the question is like "what is a woman?" in that it requires self-identification. You know? You are in love if you identify as being in love. That word identify means that, in addition to any externally verifiable attributes, you have an internal sense that you are in love, you believe your sense is true and accurate, and you can argue in support of it.

Hmph. There was my random Soniaesque reaction. Now that I read what I just wrote, I'm not sure it says anything. :cleansing breath: Moving on, let me try that question in the the subject line.


Have you Fallen In Love Here?

Not if here means specifically crossdressers.com, but if here means the internet in general, then...once. It was wild and wonderful and it didn't last. The problem was that I wasn't ready for love. I hadn't peeled back enough layers, didn't know myself well enough. What does this have to do with the internet? Nothing. I failed at love, never mind that it was internet love.

I'll add one little thing that did seem internet specific . The two of us both felt that falling in love this way was particularly mm--authentic because we were shielded from the distractions of the physical. We always said we fell in love with each other's minds first, and bodies later. (We did eventually get together in real life.)

[sandra-leigh]

I'd have to say, "No, not even close." Not even infatuated. Can't even think of someone that I would send a "Secret Admirer" to. Not even anyone that I make sure I read every posting from.

There are people here that I find intellectually interesting, and people here I find amusing, and people here who I worry about, and some that I make sure that I stay in touch with every few months, and there are postings over which I say, "Oh no, that's awful! That must be really hard to deal with!". Sympathy and tenderness, yes, but no-one I've "fallen in love with". :2c:

[DemonicDaughter]

But Nicky, it's women (not girls) like you and DD and Kehlyr and a host of others that have taught me in this very short time about the possibilites of love and our false assumptions about gender's role in it.

For this I thank you all and revere you all more than you can imagine.

You've engendered in me an appreciation for feelings and emotions that had been lost to me for many years.

I've been crying this morning since I first thought to post this question, and my tears are tears of joy.

I'm not becoming weaker than I was, I'm stronger and more complete for the love of others.

You've seen these last words before, but they are as true as ever,

respect & love,

deja

Ah, my beautiful Deja. Perhaps you asked THE right question for what is love? If it is the complete acceptance of another human being, good, bad and all in between then yes, definitely. If it is willingness to forgo the fears of meeting someone from the internet in "real life", then again, yes. If its redefining yourself to yourself... then again yes.

Love, that we are all taught as children to be some glorified romance novel may not be an actual thing for everyone. For some of us, love is being comfortable enough with someone else to be ourselves... completely.

And for those of you who feel that love cannot happen via the internet, I met my SO online. We talked for a very short time before wanting to actually meet. I let go of my fear of who might be at the other end of the keyboard and I found that person to be as I had already known.

Though the internet isn't face to face, it doesn't mean its not entirely "real". Phone calls aren't face to face, neither are letters, but we consider those means of "real" communication. The truth is, if you find that someone is consistently the same over time, there's a damn good chance you are seeing the "real" person. Is it possible they are showing you only what they want you to see? Of course. Is it possible you are seeing only what you want to see? Of course. But we do that in "real life" as well. So its pretty much the same to me.

You know the truth when you hear it, you only doubt what you fear might be actual. :)

To answer your question... yes.

[Sherlyn]

I fell in love here :D...met Di thru this forum and Yahoo Chat...and have been happy and in love ever since :D...She was in the USA ..I was in Canada we both are to-gether now here in Canada ..and loving life to-gether since 2006..:D

[danielle_from_cal]

I have become acquainted with many people, but I have yet to fall in love. I love the friendliness of the people here though.

[Suzy Harrison]

I think the word love might be over doing it a bit, but there are a number of girls here that I have fond feelings for.

Kim is right. We may all have an affection and understanding with one another here and with some, more than others. Just the same way we may have friends and 'even closer' friends in our normal daytime routines.

But when you say 'love' it could get a little compliated.

:hugs: Suzy

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Deja,

Well, it wasn't here .... but it was on the internet. It was the old parsimony crossdressing forum site called "men in bras". I met and fell in love with what must be one of the most wonderful, accepting, and encouraging GGs in the world! There's obviously plenty of others too but I think my wife Marla GG must be one of them ... ask anyone who knows her. :)

Here's our story (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-P8CzasowdaH5WC.GdwVkpuiCrQIk6Jlx?l=21&u=21&mx=21&lmt=5). I swear everything I wrote here is the God's honest truth. I was 5,500 miles away on another continent and it still happened! ... God, faith, Karma, fate, ... call it what you will, but no one will ever convince me that there wasn't something going on that was bigger than the both of us!

Rachel & Marla - How it all began (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-P8CzasowdaH5WC.GdwVkpuiCrQIk6Jlx?l=21&u=21&mx=21&lmt=5)

"What is love?" ... unconditional love? ... it's what we all search for in our lives. To love and be loved in return is the greatest gift. Take it from me, if it's meant to happen,it surely will. I had 12 years on my own, but it did happen, and when it did .. my gosh, it certainly was worth waiting for!!

It's your turn next .......

Hugs
Rachel

[angela52]

Not fallen in lust....that's easy.

Not 'love'...as in "I love that skirt".

But love....as in a tenderness and concern and a need for physical closeness.

What is love?

im angela and i did fall in love with this guy and for a long time everything was great until he showed his real face --could not talk look at anyone but he was a great b/j until i meet connie see-yaaa angie

[Kris]

Not fallen in lust....that's easy.

Not 'love'...as in "I love that skirt".

But love....as in a tenderness and concern and a need for physical closeness.

What is love?

There are so many different kinds of love.. not just "lover" love. I would have to say for sure that I have fallen in love with members here. Most of them.. yeah, married. Do their partners know? YES! Is the love that I feel something to be ashamed of.. or something to hide? NO! Everyone in my life who is part of my life in my state - knows all about my love that I feel for the people that I have met here. They don't understand a lot, but they accept it for what my reality is..

Now, would I run off and marry someone from the site - so far no. I am not going to say that it isn't going to happen but so far it has not.

IMHO, I think that love is wonderful. I can say that I love many people. It's not the same kind of love because it is different with everyone. True happiness is loss of interest in judging, uncontrollable fits of smiling, and a pure sense of well being to me. I can't have any of those without being filled with love.

:love: and :hugs:,
Kris

[Tamara Croft]

Not fallen in love no, but I have many close friends here that I place very deep within my heart and I do not know what I'd do without them :) I love this place, does that count?

Deja, did you have some sort of epiphany this morning? It sounds to me like you did :hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

Not fallen in love no, but I have many close friends here that I place very deep within my heart and I do not know what I'd do without them :) I love this place, does that count?

Aww! Trey will be everso heart broken to hear you are not in love with him :heehee: :hiding:

[Tamara Croft]

Aww! Trey will be everso heart broken to hear you are not in love with him :heehee: :hiding::slap: lol... The only person I'm 'in love with' is my Tammy :love: I have different kinds of love for different people, like you Kieron, you are a very special person to me and always will be :) now you can go hide in the corner cus you're prolly :o

:heehee:

[Kieron Andrew]

like you Kieron, you are a very special person to me and always will be :) now you can go hide in the corner cus you're prolly :o

:doh:wha' did i do? oh and :slap: for making me blush :p

[Cai]

There are so many different kinds of love.. not just "lover" love. I would have to say for sure that I have fallen in love with members here. Most of them.. yeah, married. Do their partners know? YES! Is the love that I feel something to be ashamed of.. or something to hide? NO! Everyone in my life who is part of my life in my state - knows all about my love that I feel for the people that I have met here. They don't understand a lot, but they accept it for what my reality is..

Now, would I run off and marry someone from the site - so far no. I am not going to say that it isn't going to happen but so far it has not.

IMHO, I think that love is wonderful. I can say that I love many people. It's not the same kind of love because it is different with everyone. True happiness is loss of interest in judging, uncontrollable fits of smiling, and a pure sense of well being to me. I can't have any of those without being filled with love.

:love: and :hugs:,
Kris

Exactly my feelings, Kris. There are a lot of people, online and IRL, that I love - friends and family.

I have been romantically interested in people I've met online (I won't say "in love" though) but I've never pursued it, mostly because it's easy to overlook relationship-breaking problems online: age, physical attraction, sexual compatibility, schedules.

[Littlej10]

There is a closeness from being what we are that transcends casual acquaintance. In general we have the advantage of only reacting when we wish and to control how we appear. I take little or nop account of appearance here except to derive pleasure from the happiness that is expressed in many of the photographs. There are some minds I relate too more readily than others, nothing unusual in that, but I find I have a much more emotional tie to people here than in other "clubs" both real and net based.

[deja true]

I'm very grateful for all the responses so far. I'm learning something and hope others are, too.

But I must share this with you. I knew that many would be too shy, too embarrassed to post here about love. That's okay, the question is as much about thinking about the subject as actually getting you to admit to anything. Only 25 posts. but over 550 viewers. That's good. Thanks!

I've fallen in love here, and whether my heart is broken or not, it matters not at all. I've had a unique experience that teaches me something about life and love itself.

Many of the shy ones PMed me directly with stories sad and stories glorious. I guess I've become a confessor to a few. I don't mind. What they've told me makes me, a person who looked for love for a long time, a better person myself.

I'll tell no one's story here, even though a few asked me to. Our private lives are already spread thin here and trust in each other is one of the few tangible things we have.

And love, of course, and love...

Thank you girls, women, men, boys, all!

You know I always mean it when I say,

respect & love,

deja



Tam, If a whispering voice from the heavens saying "I love you" is an epiphany, then yeah, I had one of those!

[Stargirl]

Some things transcend flesh, and keyboards. "Connecting" needn't take physical form. Simply being understood, and respected by a relative stranger can mean more than a lifetime with an "in the flesh" relative who was cold, and distant. We all have dreams and expectations in love matters, and we do fantasize. In that respect, we find out a lot about our capacity to love another person, even if it should turn out to be an illusory, fleeting thing. But oh, it can feel so good. And we learn not to give up hope. I feel a great deal of love and respect for many of my friends here. You have expanded my consciousness, and compassion.

[Nicki B]

There is a closeness from being what we are that transcends casual acquaintance. In general we have the advantage of only reacting when we wish and to control how we appear. I take little or nop account of appearance here except to derive pleasure from the happiness that is expressed in many of the photographs. There are some minds I relate too more readily than others, nothing unusual in that, but I find I have a much more emotional tie to people here than in other "clubs" both real and net based.

Shared adversity always makes strong bonds? And you can know a lot about someone who posts a great deal - their character does show, even if they try to hide it? The strange part comes when you meet someone you've known online for the first time - the only thing you don't know is how they look and sound?

Whereas normally we judge people so much on how they look and sound, when we first meet them? :strugglin


I knew that many would be too shy, too embarrassed to post here about love.

I'm always wary of talking about love? Those who've really experienced it, know... But for those who haven't, it seems like bragging - and it's so difficult to explain?


But deja, the secret's out now, isn't it? You've fallen in love with... Tam. :heehee:

[jessielee]

Some things transcend flesh, and keyboards. "Connecting" needn't take physical form. Simply being understood, and respected can mean more than a lifetime ...we learn not to give up hope. ...You have expanded my consciousness, and compassion.
thank you, and bless you.
i concur with all my heart. we are moonstuff, harvesting the solar wind...
sparkling intensely,
transcendently,
iridescently,
humbly,
jessie

[Stormgirl]

Yes and she bretrayed me and cheated on me, so ever since then I have become emotional unavailable. I have intimacy problems now,I don't like being hugged,touched or kissed. The only physical contact I will intitiate is a handshake.

FOrgive my atrocious spelling,I can't be assed to correct it right now.

[deja true]

FOrgive my atrocious spelling,I can't be assed to correct it right now.

Jenny, despite your bad spelling, we love you anyway, you wretched creature.

You're one of a kind and we know that deep inside there's a pussycat struggling to get out.

kisses for you, dearest,

deja


Pssst, girls! That oughta p*ss her off!

[kim85]

I met my current partner online on a socail chat site. We became friends at that point i was in a relationship with my ex we were going through a tough time and eventully we both decided to split we werent happy. Me and my friend started texting and talking on the phone as i lost the internet. Very quickly we were on the phone everynight for a least 2 hours. After about 6 months of this i invited him to spend new year with me as he use to live where i did and thought it would be good for him to see his old friends and for me to finally meet him.
As this point i had fallen for him i wouldnt say i loved him but i had strong feelings for him. But as soon as i met him i knew that i wanted to be with him then on new news eve we got together and i knew that i loved him. Now ive moved over 240 miles to be with him we have been together 1 year and 4 months.

Now while this is a happy story not all internet relationships are like this so i would advise caution as i would with meeting some ramdon person in a nite club
Kim
xxx

[melissacd]

Some more questions to add fuel to the fire:

I realize that these are impossible questions to answer and to some extent are rhetorical but what the heck, I will ask them anyway...

How do you know, after a very long term relationship, if/when you are ready to fall in love?

How do you know that you have found the right one?

Should you fall in love again?

Is it better, being a cross dresser, to be alone?

After a long term relationship ends, do the scars ever heal, when does the pain end?

Why is it that we make so many mistakes when we are trying to find love? Is it worth it?

Huggs
Melissa

[Maria2004]

Unrequited love is an awesome engine of creativity.