Am too touchy ??

[Niya W]

Last night I went to a club. Normally there is no cover charge but last night there was and I didnt know. I strolled on in and the lady at the door said sir there is a cover charge. I turned to her and said how much and it's MA'AM!!

I was talking to a friend to day and she said I should of just let it go.

[Kieron Andrew]

Nope, i wouldnt have let it go either....if you were dressed as female then you should respectfully have been addressed as such

[Blixa]

I think this happened because the person at the door, having to get your attention and without any gender-neutral options besides the rather rude "hey you", was simply uncomfortable calling you mam even though you, regardless of passing ability, were clearly presenting as a woman. This kind of thing only becomes truly unforgivable when they already have your attention and still call you sir!

[EveMarie]

I've worked as a "door person" and maybe "sweetie", or "dear" would have been more appropriate, how rude, and unless the place was really a swinging spot I wouldn't go back (at least until she wasn't working there anymore):heehee:

[ColleenW]

Hi Niya -

I agree with your friend. I'd just let it go. Letting it eat at you will only make you unhappy.:straightface:

[TxKimberly]

Well, it doesn't thrill me, but I'd let it go. As long as they are polite that is enough for me.

[Mary Lee]

Should have said 'said how much sir'.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Should have said 'said how much sir'.

:heehee: The above would be my inner reaction!

This happened to me at a store and my first reaction was to slap the man! But I figured I would just ignore his ignorance and spend my money. Now depending on the type of club I probably would have corrected her if it was done rudely, if it was not a rude tone I would just pay move on, I probably would not patronize the business again or I would report her to the manager.

However as mentioned in the thread, gender neutral terms would have been better.

[Stormgirl]

Last night I went to a club. Normally there is no cover charge but last night there was and I didnt know. I strolled on in and the lady at the door said sir there is a cover charge. I turned to her and said how much and it's MA'AM!!

I was talking to a friend to day and she said I should of just let it go.

Negative,you were dressed en effemme therefore, I think should be treated accordingly.

[CrossdressinGoth]

can always look at the bright side, at least he called you a sir instead of a nasty remark like many others would

[Niya W]

Well this bar is known spot for trannies to hang out at. Never seen that wench before. THe bar tenders would of never said sir.


I started t say do these tits look like sir to you.

[CrossdressinGoth]

i could only imagine the face reaction of the guy if you said that to him, sounds like something i would either think about saying or actually say too if i was in that situation and it hit me at the wrong time

[danielle_from_cal]

I was walking along a street in San Francisco once and a beggar (for lack of a better word) asked me something like "can I have a dollar sir'. Then she / he (I could not even tell which gender the person was) corrected themselves and said "Er, Ma'am'. It was kind of a downer because I know I was looking good, but it shows that there is a fine line between looking feminine and masculine. Of course, I gave the person a dollar and went right into a shoe store and bought myself the most feminine shoes I could find!

[Niya W]

i could only imagine the face reaction of the guy if you said that to him, sounds like something i would either think about saying or actually say too if i was in that situation and it hit me at the wrong time

It was an older lady in her 50's

[CrossdressinGoth]

It was an older lady in her 50's

:doh: sorry, overlooked that, my bad :sad:

[sandra-leigh]

I rarely get called Ma'm when I'm fully dressed.

I get Sir'd a fair bit; I've noticed it most from taxi drivers, but that might just be "selective observation"... or it could be just that I take the taxi enough that a fair number of drivers recognize me. (People who have seen me in drab fairly often recognize me by sight in drag. And the great majority of them passively accept my dressing, or smile at it, or even encourage me.)

Getting called Sir when I'm fully dressed isn't the most fun I could have, but it's not worth getting upset about, I figure. But keep in mind for this purpose that I gender-bend more often than I fully dress -- not in the "bearded lady" sense, but as "a guy in a skirt" or "a guy in a blouse" or "a guy with a chest" sense -- so for me going out in femme clothes or fem-ish presentation, and being accepted as I am, respected as a person, is already a victory. It could be interesting to really pass, but it's not my priority at this time.

[Vicky_Scot]

I think what you should have done and it is staring me in the face is that if the club is TG friendly, then my first stop when in the club would have been to stop at the managers office and tell him/her what she said.

I think the manager would not like to loose business due to a stupid mare working on the door.

Xx Vicky xX

[Katrina]

I'd be upset. You go out of your way to look presentable as a woman and then all that work is tossed away when they use that one little word. Heck, I don't even like it used on me when I'm in drab. It just grates me.

[RikkiOfLA]

Calling you "sir" was not polite at all. It was impolite and rude.

However, you fell for it. The test of acting like a "real woman" is walking right past the person until they address you properly.

She got you! Oh, well.

Rikki

[Niya W]

Try calling some of the women I know sir and see what would happen. Alot of women would get upset. For example at that same bar some guy went up to a GG and asked how long she has been full time. She started crying

[CrossdressinGoth]

good heavens :sad:

[shannonsilk]

at that same bar some guy went up to a GG and asked how long she has been full time. She started crying

That's horrid. :thumbsdn:They seem to have a few people lacking in sensitivity at that place.

I think if you had female clothes and female hair they should have given you the benefit of the doubt. Although I suspect there would have been no doubt you intended to be female.

[Angie G]

I think you were right hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Di]

Well I can understand you being upset.....but it might have been just a dumb flub on their part.....tonight when getting my car towed the guy said yes sir to me.........:eek:...I was like alrighty then...........it might have been just them not paying attention...and in a rush...and it meant nothing. Hugs sorry it happened :hugs:

[Lanore]

I would say, let it go and stay focused on you. So what if it's either sir or mam. If you are comfortable with who you are inside, what difference does it make what someone says?

Lanore