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View Full Version : Making contact, the closet, and other observations



flogo920
04-06-2008, 02:58 PM
This forum stimulated an already intense desire to get out of the closet to a safe extent. My life is extremely crowded (wife, kids,live-in in-law, job,, etc) and coming out publically would destroy my career.

One of the more prolific members, Karen, pointed out in one of her innumerable intelligent posts that she does NOT look like him. From that I decided to try several on line venues to meet someone.(Thanks Karen)

The score- Have only e-mailed and spoke with 2 or 3 people. Many of us (40-70 yrs old) chose to live in the closet and get married and have families- (it seemed a more satisfying and rewarding life than living TG in the 60s-90's. ).The logisitics of meeting are more than formidable. It turns out that most of us do not have any time for ourselves-one friend commented that his time for himself is after 24:00 and before 0:700. Life events with our jobs (especially in this recession) and with our families take priority-

Have had 1 day in last 730 to do a makeover-

I guess it is just HARD period. Will give internet contact thingies a bit more time-

Would it not be nice to have the crossdresser next door or next to work place ??

Flo

jessielee
04-06-2008, 03:12 PM
dear Flo,
you and i have much in common, except the in house job. sorry i wasn't around earlier; responding to an earlier thread by you:
i don't look anything like him! i'm younger and more fun, too!
but there's so little time. choices made in search of the desperate chance to build lives and not be lonely, the path chosen away from from self expression, freedom and identity. sigh. but now we are here. alone no more!
we are challenged, taxed, repressed, in hiding, but depite all that, true to ourselves at last. and the result is a new kind of freedom! he carries me around more confidently than before and i make his psyche ligther and brighter. it feels good. and then, sometimes, i come out to play.
i wish you the very best dear.
jessie

Babette
04-06-2008, 03:22 PM
Life events with our jobs (especially in this recession) and with our families take priority-

Flo,

Its good to hear you say these words. As much as I enjoy dressing, there is nothing that takes priority over my family. Jobs are just as important because a family depends on it for their basic needs.


Have had 1 day in last 730 to do a makeover-

Now that's a very long time indeed. Do you travel or could you ever get away for some personal time? Surely there must be some time to yourself.


Would it not be nice to have the crossdresser next door or next to work place ??

Even though I am deeply buried in rural life, I have found a number of friends surprisingly close. Don't despair because there are more of us out there than most people realize.

Take care.

Babette

flogo920
04-06-2008, 05:07 PM
Thank you both for kind replies.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Right now a few moments on the computer-

From what I see on the venues tvchix.com, urnotalone.com,
dateacrossdresser.com, there are people with much more time than I to spend chatting etc. and indulging their tg life. Shopping ? Simply having another pperson there also dressing with you. Have met and dressed with others 3 times in 20 years- Have thought about this a lot- figured it would be nice to find someone else who truly understands. :love:

Four years ago wife bought me book, Girlfriend,Men,Women and Drag. Our life has been in a waring blender with major crisis following each other this past 4 years-those of you with adolescent children and/or elder parents to care for can understand. Barely time to coordinate schedules. No time and space to even bring up TG issues with her.

Hugs,

Flo

Nicki B
04-06-2008, 05:29 PM
Would it not be nice to have the crossdresser next door or next to work place ??


I guess it depends where you live? But there are a lot of us out there, once you start to find people.. :)

gennee
04-06-2008, 06:31 PM
Family is number one. I don't spend as much time on the computer like I used to but there's real life to be lived. I started an online business and am trying to get it rolling. With the economy the way it is, I need the financial resources that I can muster.

Gennee


:)

Alice B
04-06-2008, 06:36 PM
I think you speak well for a great may of us. I am in the older range you provided and do get to dress at home with some degree of frequency, but only my wife knows and not in her presence. I've had one make over in two years and other than that have only gotten out once. It is nice to talk to others with similar problems.:hugs:

Angie G
04-06-2008, 08:41 PM
Wow I'm glad my life isn't that complicated :hugs:
Angie