Advice on friends knowing

[Ayame]

Do you think cross dressing is something I should hide from my friends or tell them? My girl friend is the only person that knows at the moment and she accepts me for it an tells me she will still love me no matter what I do or wear which is great. However I feel if I tell a lot of my friends they would most likely not accept it or completely look at me different. Even though I know most will not accept it I still look at them as friends, is that weird? How should I go about this situation because part of me wants them to know when the other part of me doesn't.

[tricia_uktv]

Lolita, take your time, learn about them. You can't come in a blaze of trumets. Do it slowly, carefully, and get support behind you before you do it.

You hold the cards.

Are you really, really sure?

Hugs

[Ruth]

When you are able to tell someone else, that makes your CD world a little larger, so in theory it's a good thing. But it's also nice if the new people who know are sensible about the knowledge, don't spread it indiscriminately and don't use it against you. And you have to be the judge of that before you tell them.

[Alice B]

You first must ask yourself just how good and close the individual friend is. We all have many friends, but most are more casual than really close. And only really, really close friends can be fully trusted with your secret. As an example, just today I told a really close friend, knowing he will tell his wife, who is also close and one of my wife's best friends. This was because they are visiting us and he saw me this morning getting out of bed wearing a very revealing nightie. I felt I had to say something, so I told him the truth and his response was "cool - I think it's great". At the same time I have a friend who is also very close, that I've known for over 50 years and I could never tell him. He is far too macho for such a secret. So... be careful in your choices and good luck. Tell your girlfriend that she is a very special lady.:)

[serinalynn]

Lolita, You are the only one that know your friends very well. Each one of them is a different individual with different thoughts on things that effect them and your relationship with them. You may have to have a private conversation with each of them to better understand their thoughts about crossdressing, its not something every guy does, I think that more guys are now looking at some items of womens clothing as androgenious and are taking a conservative look at womens clothing for their own use. Its still an individual choise. Women can wear mens clothing and nothing will be said however, men are not supposed to wear womens clothing, I didn't say they can't I just said re not supposed to. In my own little way I'll wear what I'm most comfortable in, even if I got it in a womens clothing store.

Your GF is accepting you as a person who wears womens clothing, get all the help and support you can from this woman and stay on her good side.

[Amy Hepker]

Check out this thread http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80112 I just started it last week.

[Ayame]

thx for the advice guys

[TSchapes]

Do you think cross dressing is something I should hide from my friends or tell them?
It depends on the friend. I know some of my friends would freek, and others would say so what. Even if you do tell them and they're accepting, doesn't mean they want to hear about it all the time either.


My girl friend is the only person that knows at the moment and she accepts me for it an tells me she will still love me no matter what I do or wear which is great.
That is great, but keep in mind she might not want to loose her friends that are not quite on board with this news. She can be a wonderful support person, but before you tell a bunch of people, check with her first. Make it a team decision.



However I feel if I tell a lot of my friends they would most likely not accept it or completely look at me different. Even though I know most will not accept it I still look at them as friends, is that weird? How should I go about this situation because part of me wants them to know when the other part of me doesn't.

There's a part of me that wants to take out an ad in the newspaper and another that says shut up Tracy.

No matter how they react, your relationship with them will change, either for the better or worse, but it will change and you'll have to be prepared for both outcomes.

Good luck, go slow and sure.

Love, Tracy

[MJ]

well what are friends ?
your true friends won't mind how you look or chose to present yourself . there the ones who care ..
a true friend is a friend indeed

[LizSummers]

I suppose it all depends on your friends. I guess I tentatively came out to some of my friends a bit at a time. On the whole, they didn't really care :)

Then again, some I didn't say anything to because they were obviously homophobic or prone to think anything that crossed their predefined male/female roles and gender-boundaries was an abomination.

But I'm not really close to many of those :)

[Vicky_Scot]

One of my closest friends (female) when told about my dressing said "thats ok, I do not have a problem with that". Then I never seen her for 2 years.

Be very careful when you choose who to tell. Sometimes the people you think would accept you are the ones who run away the quickest.

Have a real long hard think about coming out to friends. Once you tell them, you can not ever take it back.

All the best.

Xx Vicky xX

[karynspanties]

I would try and "feel them out" by bringning up cd'ing in a conversation somehow. See their reaction and their comments and go from there. Tread lightly. Some friends are great but maybe intollerant of cd'ing.