Newbie needs encouragement

[CD Susan]

O.K. here is my "delema". I just joined the site two days ago and am very glad that I did. I have been doing a lot of looking around and have over 100 posts already so I feel that I am adjusting well to my new friends and family here.I have been a crossdresser most of my life (50 years) so this nothing new to me but I have never come out and shared this part of me with anyone before. I am buried so deep in the closet that I am afraid to come out. This is why I have not posted a pic of myself yet. I want to do this very much but the apprehension is so great that I don't know where to begin. I don't want to post pics with my head cut off or covered up, I feel that defeats the whole idea of being open about my cd lifestyle here on this site. I have heard of the "baby steps" but I want to just "jump in with both feet". So my question is, is there a normal adjustment period for someone like me? What have other members here done that felt the same way when joining? In the last two days I have seen new members join with pics of themselves right from the start. This makes me think thier situation is different from mine or that I am just being way too worried about the whole issue. Please, someone get behind me and push me out that closet door. Thanks in advance to everyone, Susan

[Holly]

Honey, I'll be happy to hold the door for you! I wish I could tell you there is a magic formula, but the truth is that everyone is different. But for what it's worth, yolu sound like you're ready. However, sis, in the end, you have to be the one to decide. I'll be waiting right outside the door for you!

[Daintre]

Susan, one reason why some take baby steps is that ...if...you leap and make a mistake, and your judgment was off...you can't take the leap back. The baby steps ensure that you are in control.

Just a thought :)

[Joy Carter]

Find your self a gal-pal. There's courage in #'s

[Celeste]

Hi Susan,I also had many of the same questions you asked,I didn't want to make an avatar with my head cut off,but finally came to the conclusion that it would be best for right now,I can change that when I'm more comfortable with things.I like it better than animation,cartoon or a pic of someone else.When posting your pic, just ask yourself, What have you got to lose?
Are you retired and family raised?
Would you be shocked to see your pic somewhere else?
Could someone do irreparable damage by obtaining your pic?
Do you want to be totally out of closet and do not care?I guess you can weigh the pros and cons for your given situation.Many have said here that the chances of anyone else seeing your pic outside of this group are slim.

[Edwina]

Hi Susan
I was like you and that is why I had a photo of my shadow as an avatar to begin with. I was scared stiff of showing my face. Then I bought a wig and later breast forms and look at my avatar now. :battingeyelashes:
I asked myself "who is going to recognise me?" Then "if somebody manages that, what are they doing here?" :D
But when all is said you will know when your are comfortable with it.
Look forward to seeing your photos.

:love:

Edwina

[CharleneT]

these steps need to happen at the rate that you are comfortable with and that your friends and family can handle. the rest of the world barely matters really... I know we all tend to think they do but they do not. Take only those steps that you feel you can. You will find that *here* patience is not only a virtue practiced, but one respected. Outside these virtual walls it is not so, care must be taken. If a picture of just your toes, painted, is what you feel you can do, then we will love that picture to death :D

C.

[CD Susan]

Thanks for the replies to my post so far. Yes, I agree that it would be highly unlikely that anyone would accidently stumble upon this site and start looking around. If a person who was not a member got this far then they must have came here for a reason. That reason would seem to me would be that they are like minded or approve of this lifestyle. If that is the case then what is there to worry about, right? I'm not even sure why I am writing this, It certainly can't be to convince anyone else so it has to be to convince myslf. Please forgive the ramblings of a paronoid newbie. I'll get over this in time but for right now I need to sit back and look at this realistically. I hope I can laugh at this whole paranoia thing in a short time and I think I will. I am getting the sense of being accepted here and am starting to feel downright foolish. I hate it when I write these excessively long posts.

[Jenny J]

Susan-

I too went through and still am going through the very things you are describing. I’ve been an on and off crossdresser for years and it has only been recently that I’ve had the opportunity to ‘dress’ more often.

I am bit of a shy and modest person and went around and around with myself trying to decide whether to post a pic or not. I came to the conclusion that I was a work in progress and the world wasn’t quite ready for pic of me in a skirt. I feel I have much work to do to get it right and I am slowly getting there. In fact I’ve set a bit of a goal for myself to get a picture up in one year. I know that sounds like a long time but who knows, maybe I’ll make so much progress in the next two or three months I’ll post one sooner. But at least I have a goal and I can strive for that. For now I am extremely apprehensive about the great unknown outside of that closet. Someday I’ll make it out and I’ll be a happy girl once I do.

When I do I want to be more than just a guy in a dress. I doubt I’ll be able to ‘pass’ but I’ll settle for being a guy that looks great in a dress. I also know that the next logical step to being a good looking gal is to actually get out and about and showing off your stuff. I know that too is in my future and that has me also scared. With the help of everyone here, I know I’ll be able to achieve that goal and enjoy that experience.

So, yes I am taking baby steps and I am trying to learn everything there is to know about ‘dressing’ from head to toe. This forum has been a godsend to me. Full of good information and wonderful, supportive people that take time to answer your questions no matter how silly or dumb they might seem.

It’s a long journey we have started and we’ve decided to take in 3 inch heels.

Best of luck and let me know how it is progressing for you.

Jen

[Suzie S.]

Susan, please ramble all you want, that's why we're here. :hugs: Please don't think of yourself as paranoid or foolish. Take your time in making any decisions, no one here is going to rush you or push you out of a closet. You have to walk out under your own will when you are ready. If you decide not to, we respect that also.

Read again what CharleneT wrote. She said it well. :thumbsup: Meanwhile, enjoy where you are on your path, not where it ends up. :)

[DonnaT]

Take your time, and get comfortable with everything, including yourself. Once you are comfortable, then you'll know what's right for you.

[debbeelee1]

Hi Susan and welcome! Take your time, you've got your whole life ahead of you!

[DeeDeeB]

I'm new here too, and have been asking myself the same question. I did have a thought (and I survived) and it's this:

Please, anyone who has have been here a while let me know if my thinking is straight here: As a first step, could a girl could post a picture in her profile, making it visible only to other members, but not the general public? I know the avatar is open to everyone, but aren't the profiles restricted?

Any thoughts?
Dee :belly:

[tamarav]

As you can see from the responses, baby steps are the best route to "perfection"

When I was helping a CD do her makeup and she kept telling me how frustrated she was because she wanted to do better, I just kept telling her that young girls spend years perfecting their makeup, why should we expect to get it overnight?

I have practiced for years and years and made untold numbers of mistakes, but I learned from each of them. I learned in the dark as many of my sisters did. Now that there are sites like this the whole world can join in and help support each other. Unfortunately we all want to be perfect overnight and it just doesn't happen. Ever wonder why modeling classes and such are available? Because no one knows "how to do it" right off the bat. We all have to learn, ever those real girls out there, but they have their peer group to support them. (Funny, I still teach many young girls how to do their makeup in my salon, they are just clue-less)

I fully realize how much anticipation we experience wanting to be dressed with no effort to enjoy our feeme sides, but it takes time. I even get edgy when I am putting on my makeup, trying to rush through so that I can get to my final appearance as quick as possible now that I work dressed daily. Previously I would take an entire day getting everything just perfect (In my eyes at least) and many times just pull it all off at the end of the still not satisfied with my appearance.

Learn not to judge yourself from simple getting the rush of seeing yourself in the mirror. Take pictures, look at them later when your head has cleared and then self-criticize yourself. Many times I look back at pictures I took and feel embarrassed by how I looked when I went out. For every picture I post there are 50 that you will never see. (OK, I am much better now with practice and you do see most of my pictures but not until fairly recently)

Relax, take a deep breath and go on. Speed and completeness come with practice. You will get it in time, hopefully sooner than later.

Your sis,

Tami

[docrobbysherry]

Lots of folks lurk here. Until they feel ready to join in. Now that u have, I'm sure you'll meet some special folks u r compatible with. And most everyone here r good people!

I joined the site about 6 months ago. But it took me a month FIGURE OUT how to post my pics here! Still having some problems!