Bump in the road

[Corsetted Nikki]

Hello folks,

Having a bump in the road. I've shared before that my wife has been understanding for the most part of my bedroom dressing. As I understand it, she sees it as a fetish and is ok with catering to the fetish.

I've also shared that recently, I've purchased a corset to wear much of the day to help with weight loss and waist training. She had a bad reaction when I shared that I might want to do this. It seems that when I dress in the bedroom it's a sex-related fetish thing which she is ok with and outside the bedroom the corset wearing is more of a lifestyle issue which she is concerned about. She's afraid of the possibility of my being gay or becoming more effeminate. She's also not excited about hugging me when I get home from work and feeling a stiff corset. She likes the feel of both the soft and firm parts of my body.

I've been scratching my head a bit about how to nip this in the bud. You see, in my mind--my corset fetish is completely different from my appreciation with stockings and garters. I would like to wear corsets for the weight loss advantages in addition to my liking the look of them and I would like to wear them out of the bedroom (because the weight loss/shaping advantages are time intensive). Other stuff is more about being girly and I feel no need to bring it out of the bedroom. Basically, corsets are sexy and utilitarian and the stockings/garters are just sexy.

She's having a hard time because she understands that I have to be the person I want to be and that what she wants right now (me not wearing corsets out of the bedroom) isn't really fair to my wants. She also doesn't want to see my wants go unfulfilled as she thinks I might start searching for it elsewhere.

I'm unsure how to proceed. I don't share her concerns about my sexuality or lifestyle, but I can't ignore them. We're working with eachother but we have no playbook on this. I know we can get through this, but I am looking for your input.

What do you folks think?

Thanks!

[Raychel]

It seems rather simple to me, You are going too fast. From what I have seem women can only accept little pieces at a time. It is always best to move at a VERY slow pace, and most always best to let them call the shots.

So slow down and let her decide when the dressing can progress.

:2c:

[paulaluvssz8]

take my advice. Take it slow and let her set the bounderies. If not this could blow up in your face. As far as her supporting your CDing even in the bedroom.

[DemonicDaughter]

Might I suggest this article with some great points! (http://www.corsetconnection.com/sunshop/index.php?action=why_wear_a_corset)

Or even this forums on the subject. (http://www.corsetheaven.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=62&PN=1)

Or how about this article on the latest male fashions! (http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/fashion/36224-men-wearing-corsets-now-too.html)

Corsets were never just for women and since their invention have been worn by all genders for numerous reasons.

Best of luck! :)

[Angie G]

I think your going to fast hun SLOW DOWN! :hugs:
Angie

[docrobbysherry]

Corsets were never just for women and since their invention have been worn by all genders for numerous reasons.
Best of luck! :)

Oh, my aching back back! Can u please help me put on my corset, dear?

Oh yeah, feels much better now, thanks!

[marny]

I'm not 100% sure but I don't beleive that a corset helps train your waist or help weight loss. That comes pretty much from diet and exercise Hon. In fact a corset just replaces the internal muscles. I suspect you're snowing yourself but not your wife!

[DemonicDaughter]

Oh, my aching back back! Can u please help me put on my corset, dear?

Oh yeah, feels much better now, thanks!

I'm an expert lacer, so I'd be happy to oblige. ;)


I'm not 100% sure but I don't beleive that a corset helps train your waist or help weight loss. That comes pretty much from diet and exercise Hon. In fact a corset just replaces the internal muscles. I suspect you're snowing yourself but not your wife!

They help in weight loss only in the factor that they do not allow your stomach to expand more. Much like wearing a tight pair of pants. You'll only eat so much before you start to feel the strain against the fabric.

And have you ever tried to get into a corset?! That is excersize! :lol:

And they don't replace your muscles btw. When putting on corset you need to hold your body in a particular position, this works the abdominal and back muscles. While wearing one, because of the body positioning, you work those muscles more than you would normally, so it can help tone them (but not by much).

Corsets were often prescribed for medical reasons and are where the modern back-brace got its start. I have permanent damage to my spine and corsets do wonders for me! I highly recommend them. :D

Just my :2c:

[kaitlyna]

I'm an expert lacer, so I'd be happy to oblige. ;)





OK, so can someone suggest a good place to find a good corset. I'm currently on a diet, but I need something to help shape my unsightly gut for right now.

[Amy Hepker]

Tell her what you just told us.

[Daphne7]

Wow, how would i feel if my hubby expanded his CDing to corsets?

I wouldn't mind if he wore one that fit him. I certainly enjoy a form fitting corset from time to time. The slight restriction does feel sexy. I would not want to deny him that pleasure.

I would mind if he wore one so tightly with the intent to change the shape of his body. In general i don't agree with that for either gender. To me, its on par with models who have a rib taken out.

As far as losing weight- eat fewer calories and move more. Maintaining a certain weight/size is about the accumulation of all your choices throughout the day. I recommend Paul McKenna's book (or TV show) I Can Make You Thin. My hubby and I have being following his 4 golden rules and we're both dropping weight. We don't feel deprived of the food that we like and have plenty of energy. We've been able to make his suggests part of our lifestyle and wish we'd heard about him sooner.

You may be going too fast for your wife, but perhaps not. She may not like the idea of you trying to change the shape of your body, which is something that wouldn't be likely to change. Asking her if that is a concern and talking about it with her might help you find out what the root of her aversion is about. Being understanding and accepting is all fine and good, but getting others to change some of their strongly held beliefs isn't always possible.

[DemonicDaughter]

OK, so can someone suggest a good place to find a good corset. I'm currently on a diet, but I need something to help shape my unsightly gut for right now.

I would suggest one custom made for you but they are extremely expensive! Otherwise, the "wedding" or "victorian" style corsets are closest to what you'd want. There are tons of sites out there and it all depends on what you are looking for.

Just remember, leather isn't breathable so try to only use those for look purposes, not as an under garment.

AND TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN! You need to train your body to wear a corset or you can injure yourself.

Start with an inexpensive corset, eBay has them for relatively cheap. If you like the effect and can enjoy wearing it, move up to a more expensive one that will last. Eventually getting a custom one is for the extreme waist cinching and constant wear.

Best of luck :)

[KellyCD]

Might I suggest this article with some great points! (http://www.corsetconnection.com/sunshop/index.php?action=why_wear_a_corset)

Or even this forums on the subject. (http://www.corsetheaven.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=62&PN=1)

Or how about this article on the latest male fashions! (http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/fashion/36224-men-wearing-corsets-now-too.html)

Corsets were never just for women and since their invention have been worn by all genders for numerous reasons.

Best of luck! :)

I'd like to thank you for posting these links...now I'm absolutely sure I'll be broke in just a few hours!

[Tammy298]

As an alternate to wearing the corset, get some exercise. Put on some stockings and a garter belt, and start doing some sit-ups and push-ups in front of your wife. After watching you exercise several times, she might even agree to the corset!

[DemonicDaughter]

I'd like to thank you for posting these links...now I'm absolutely sure I'll be broke in just a few hours!

I'm right there with you hun! I'm guilty of owning a custom made corset for the whopping price of $800! Yes, that's right! Technically though, in my defense, I only had to pay about $300 for it. The rest of the money was birthday gifts! :D


As an alternate to wearing the corset, get some exercise. Put on some stockings and a garter belt, and start doing some sit-ups and push-ups in front of your wife. After watching you exercise several times, she might even agree to the corset!

:lol:

[Kristen Marie]

I personally would lose the corset idea right now if it bothers her. If she supports some underdressing in the bedroom, that's a huge plus.

In an earlier post you mention advertising yourself by wearing lingerie around the house. Maybe you are going a little too fast for your wife right now.

[Corsetted Nikki]

OK, so can someone suggest a good place to find a good corset. I'm currently on a diet, but I need something to help shape my unsightly gut for right now.

I'd recommend Timeless Trends. Great quality for a good price.

www.timeless-trends.com

[Corsetted Nikki]

Thanks for the info folks. I have chosen to cool my jets a bit on this one for a while and play it by ear.

It may be that I won't need the corset to waist train. I'm not sure yet. Through a few days of corset wear, sensible diet and regular 1/2 hour sessions on the elliptical machine, I've lost about 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks (244 to 239) and can don't have to squeeze into 34's anymore.

Ideally, I'd like to get down to 32's since I haven't had a waist line that small since 5th grade.

If I get down to that size I'd have no need to wear corsets out of the house and we'll be good.

I will keep y'all informed about my health/weight loss progress.

[erickka]

I agree that you might be piling on a little too much too fast. Let her set the pace, then proceed. I also agree with D.D., in that corsets, etc . have been worn by all. I frequently wore a waist cincher as a "belly bra" before I lost 25 lbs. It helped with the back pain from carrying that spare tire around.

[Sandi jo]

You have to talk more about this and look at her point of view,it will help

[Corsetted Nikki]

Hello Folks,

Quick update. Through diet, exercise and discrete corset wear I'm down to 236 1/2 lbs. So the program seems to be working. I'm down to a maximum of 1 1/2 inches of closure remaining on my corset. I guess I'll need to buy another corset in the near future!

Any, my wife and I have been talking. I have been true to my word, I haven't been wearing my corsets out, just a couple of hours here and there. Honestly, I haven't been dressing much at all lately. But that's part of my pattern.

Yesterday, my wife got was exasperated about her weight. You see she's a little bit bigger than me. She doesn't like that fact. She's been improving what she's been eating, but still seems to be eating too large of portions. She was very depressed and discouraged thinking she may never be healthy. She was really upset, was tearing up and even started about doing the lap-band surgery. It really hurt to see her like this.

So I started talking to her and educating her a little bit about how corsets can help her manage her portion size and deal with her hunger pangs. Romantasy out of San Francisco has a terrific waist training program and Ann, the owner, is very nice. She reviewed their online information about waist training and though she found it kinda "gimmicky" she is keeping an open mind on it. So we've requested some more detailed information. We'll see how it goes. I'm not going to push her to it though, but it may work out.

If she at least knows some of the medical benefits, she may choose to start corseting herself (Bonus!) or at least understand why I'd like to.

Corset hugs,
Nikki

[paulaluvssz8]

Please slow down. This is shell shock for her. Give it plenty of time.