Should I or Shouldn't I?

[MWCMDarlene]

I need some help. My wife has been on a diet for about a year and has lost about 25 or more pounds and is about 10-15lbs. over what she weighed when we were married 21+ years ago. She's looking great I might add!! Since she has lost all of this weight, she is, as I write, going through her closet that is crammed full of clothes and discarding all of the ones that look like an army tent on her, pricing them for a garage sale that we will have next month. With her being the weight she was, I am still too big for her clothes, but there are some that do fit, for I have tried them on before (without her knowing).

She knows that I X-dress and hates that I do, praying that my desire will go away. I have stashed away a dress and a skirt from an earlier discard that I wear when I have the opportunity. She probably knows that I have them.

My question is this: should I come out and ask her if I can go through and keep a couple or three of the outfits that she is discarding for myself or not? Or should I, go through them, find a couple of garments while she is at work, cull them out and stach them away or not?

We don't talk about my X-dressing, mainly because of her approach towards it. I'll be away from the site for a couple of days, but will check back when I can. Thanks for your advice.

[Sara Ann]

There are several things going on here that I've also experienced myself. First, my wife has not always being so accepting of my dressing -- especially when considering the context. That's probably the biggest hurdle that you would have to overcome at the very start. Second, getting rid of the old too-big clothes -- in a sense -- was an important step for my wife's own personal growth and moving on with her new body. For the most part, she did not want to see her old clothes anymore or even know that they were still around. And, if you start stashing her old clothes, it's inevitable(sic?) that she will eventually find them later. That's almost guaranteed to become a huge source of conflict -- especially when considering the first two issues. I can only recommend extreme caution whatever you end up doing.

[Natalie K]

Hmm, I think you are between a rock and a hard place, if you ask her for certain items it will most likely cause a problem for you and her, however if you sneak certain items and she discovers them later it will certainly create a larger issue that she might never really see past. My advice is stick with your own stuff or buy yourself some new stuff but don't get her involved yet if she is already having issues with it. Time will tell if she is going to warm up to your CDing.

[DanaR]

Hmm, I think you are between a rock and a hard place, if you ask her for certain items it will most likely cause a problem for you and her, however if you sneak certain items and she discovers them later it will certainly create a larger issue that she might never really see past. My advice is stick with your own stuff or buy yourself some new stuff but don't get her involved yet if she is already having issues with it. Time will tell if she is going to warm up to your CDing.

I would, for the most part, agree with this. Not knowing what your relationship is like, I still might ask, nicely, if your fem side could have any of the stuff she is getting rid of. If she says no, give her a hug and tell her that you love her and drop the subject. If you are still going to CD, then at some point you'll have to deal with the issue.

[TGMarla]

No. Get your own clothes. Trust me on this one.

You should have done this years ago.

[paulaluvssz8]

Though I have some things of my own. And I have some of the things that is too big for my wife still hanging in the closet. I would suggest that you let her decide whether or not you get them. If it is a sore spot with her still then let her let them go and get something cute and new.

[MJ]

i think you should be open with your wife and tell her the truth about how you feel .
and it's best to get your own cloths .. if you wife found out you have a stash of her old cloths it could go bad for you later .

[docrobbysherry]

Whatever doesn't sell at the garage sale, u offer to take to Goodwill. On the way there, u mite see if anything is just too hot to donate.

Still, I would drop it all off and go shopping for something u really want and need while you're there!

[Angie G]

I think you should ask hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Deborah Jane]

Like everyone else has said "Ask her first"...If she says no, then buy your own.
If she already hates the fact that you crossdress and then finds things of hers that you,ve "stashed" later, it will make the situation even worse!!

["Mary"]

I'd bring it up using a thrifty angle - "You know , this is jut the sort of thing I'd spend $3-$5 on at someone else's tag sale. Let's cut out the middle-man. "

[unclejoann]

Do not keep her old clothes. This is her milestone, she will feel a great reward seeing them go.

You can go to someone else's garage sale and pick out some nice clothes for yourself. When I hit the thrift stores I always come away with something unexpected and lots of fun.

[Genifer Teal]

I have to agree with everyone else. if she is "praying it will go away" she does not sound like a willing supporter. If you want to improve this situation you two need to talk. The clothes would not be a good starting point for that convertation.

Gen

[TxKimberly]

No. Get your own clothes. Trust me on this one.

You should have done this years ago.

I agree with Marla. If your wife dislikes it as much as you say, there is no reason to antagonize her. Get your own - you will be much happier. I remember when I first started shopping, I had a whole routine where I would walk through the mens stuff and then slowly work my way to the womens. Probably all I was doing was drawing attention to myself. You have to trust me on this, I swear I wouldn't go out of my way to make a fool out of someone I don't know - NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU BUY! The SA's at the womens department stores don't care in the least, tiniest, most insignificant way that you are a man buying womens clothes. Go find what you like and buy it. :-)

[Amy Hepker]

I would say be truthful and do not try to hide it, just tell her you would rather not hide anything from her and that is why you asked.

[tricia_uktv]

No. Get your own clothes. Trust me on this one.

You should have done this years ago.

Yup, and enjoy doing it!

[CD Susan]

All I want to say is be careful where you go from here. We all are not the same and where you go from here depends on your personal circumstance so choose them wisely.

[Delila]

My wife is very accepting and has given me many of her clothes that don't fit anymore. After she gave them to me she said that it is wierd to see me wearing things that she bought. Even an accepting wife has issues with someone wearing their clothes it stands to figure that an unaccepting wife will really have issue with this.

[Eva Marie]

The foregoing advice being basically sound, if you can't bring yourself to abide with it, because you write that she's pricing items for a garage sale, then pay her the price she wants and be done with it. But, you've been warned.

[karynspanties]

No, get your own stuff. If she hates it that much, I think by asking it's just going to feul the fire.

[slamddoger]

i would vote no no this one

[Sally24]

Avoid doing things behind her back. You should certainly NOT take the clothes without her knowing. Clothing can be a very personal thing. Some people would prefer to throw their clothing away rather than have someone else wear them.

I would either go to a thrift store and shop for some items for yourself or go retail. Buying clothes that you picked out yourself, and that fit you properly, is one of the best "little" steps you can take to make you feel better about yourself. Beleive me, the first time you put a dress on that "really" fits you properly is a big event in your CD life! I can still remember my first real dress and that was 3 years ago.

Good luck!

["Mary"]

http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s236/dianaprince2/Graphics/waffle1.jpg

I'm having second thoughts about not only HOW to ask about keeping some clothes, but about even ASKING at all.

Reading some more recent posts, 1) this is a milestone for her, let her be completely rid of the old her, and 2) it would be kinda creepy for her to see (or even imagine) you wearing her clothes if she is not a supporter.

[Nadia-Maria]

I agree with the general consensus and would add my personal experience about that :

I came out a few months ago to my SO, then asked her a few days later to give me a few of her old clothes.

She was upset. I understand it was too early to make such a demand.

Now, several months later, she is more at ease with the idea of me CDing in her absence, so I asked again : and she was OK to give me her old clothes.

A few days ago she gave me many old clothes and allowed me to wear her clothes still in use as well (when she is out) !

So be patient. Begin with negotiating an agreement about CDing. In a further step, if things are going a lilttle better, you could ask about old clothes.

In your case, there is another concern that matters, since her clothes remind her of her overweight.... So be cautious.

Kisses

Nadia