New here and just getting into this...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hi girls....

I'm just getting into this transformation into becoming or at least experiencing becoming a female. So I want to share some of my thoughts here and hopefully I'll get some thoughts back from you all.

Why am I doing this? Well my wife asked me that very question when I asked her to help me. My answer is simply I want to see what it's like to be a female and I want to feel what it's like to be a female. But I want to do it right...from head to toe...I don't want to simply grab a wig a dress and shoes and put them on and say OK I'm female. I want to do everyhting right. make up that looks right and not make me look like Bozo the Clown. The right shoes the right wig/hairstyle/color...sos when I'm finally all put together I'll have the feeling that I've done it the best I can.

It's kind of a two part thing here for me or at least that's what I'm wokring out in my mind. It's the "look" and the "feel"...now It may feel great for me...heels panties nylons ect....you know the feeling like a woman. Then the look just might not work. Some of you have pulled it off great...you look extremely female and could easily pass as a female...and that's great if it happens to you all. Me??? not sure I'm going to get there until I get it all together and see what the wife can do for me.

But there is a problem with this....the wife is willing to help me but she's having mixed feelings. On one hand she's willing but then she's fluxuating back and forth from helping to what the f**k is going on here with you? Why would you even consider this. She can't understadn why I've already started shaving my body (legs and belwo the waist and wanting to take off the hair on my chest and back next with her help). I've tried to explain but she's not real willing to even talk about it.

My basic and simply though is we're all part male and female. After all at birth we are created 50/50 from a male and a female and my belief is that we are all bi-gender...and dominant in one (usually the one gender that is defined by the sexual organs we have between our legs) and a secondary gender that is defined by what sexual organs we don't have between our legs... and in my case I want to see and feel what that secondary gender feels like and go from there....for me it feels fine to want to do this. But for the wife she's having a bit of a problem at times...so I'm guessing I need to go a bit slow on all of this. But it's a bit confusing for me because A) she's bi herself and B) she introduced me to being bi in the past...so I'm not sure why she's having these fluxes between helping and not helping...

Anyway, we went through a few sites last nite and we looked at wigs, pantyhose/nylons, shoes and bras. She's going to start getting these things for me this week...or at least she says she is and then this weekend we're going to start putting this all together....It seems we have very similar tastes in the styles we like...heels we're dead on and on the hair styles she picked out one she thinks would really look good on me and the color... which I never would have selected....she's looking at skin tone etc to make the choice as well as how it will frame my face. The one thing I didn't discuss with her is panties and I did that for a reason....knowing the other styles I like I want to see what she selects for me as far as the panties go...hint hint...lacy thongs would work:D

Anyway, needless to say I'm looking forward to getting on with this transformation, but I'm not sure how this will all work out. I know this, the "Genie" is out of the bottle and there's no putting him or her back in. She knows my wishes and how she handles them or accepts them from here on out only time will tell.

So based upon my thoughts here, what do you all think I'm looking at??? I'm very interested to see what your thoughts are especially since you've all been down this road way before me????

Thanks for any advice you care to share with me....

Steph

[jill s]

Take my hand and come to the Fem-side Luke ! Sorry just hate to see a thread go unanswered. I do have a question, did you crossdress as a child or just suddenly want to do this? Being trans has made my life very complicated, I can't even imagine wanting to be this way.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Dabbed in it very very very infrequently....it's now more of a result of my bi-sexuality ....if that's the briefness of an answer....

[jill s]

Sorry if I was nosey, I have done it as long as I can remember (45 or so years) but only in the last two years gave it any thought. I think the clinical word is disassociation, but it has been a rough two years or so. I think I'm still looking for the answer to "Why do I do this?" Well good luck and remember the smell of nail polish is addictive!

Jill

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Like I mentioned in my opening thread....it's for me a part of being bi-gendered....accepting that I am not exclusively male or female but made up of both and now at this time I want to fully get out and experience my female side a nd see what it feels like looks like and go from there....so far the "feel" side is very becoming....although a bit more involved and some what higher maintanced than being a guy....I'll take shaving my face everyday and whole lot more than shaving my underarms and legs once a week....and god only knows what it invoves to properly do make up in a acceptable manner...

But I'm looking forward to giving it a shot and see where I come out on the other side more or less....do I want to be gendered one or the other???? No I'm perfectly fine being both just as I have no desire at being exlcusively gay or hetrosexual either....for me it's being able to enjoy the best of both "worlds" shall I say and this is just an additional aspect of "both worlds"....makes sense to me but not sure that others can accept this as easily....

[tricia_uktv]

The wife sounds like she's having second thoughts. My partner was with me all the way when I started, but couldn't take it as I developed. What time did you start is a very good question - as is do you have any children? I promise it will be the hardest thing you will do in your life but good luck; the girls here will help you I promise.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I'll take it wherever it goes...and work it in with her feelings as well...

When she arranged for my first time with a guy (something that she enjoyed) I let her handle all the arrangements and I'll let her ease me into this experience as well....I just hope once we get it to the completion that she doesn't get piqued with my looks (not saying that I'm going to look great and all but she has somewhat of a weight problem now and I'still wearing size 34 mens slack for the last 15 years...

Right now I have pantyhose on and the size is "small" and I shouldn't be able to fit into that size....I'm 6" and 180....yeah, their tight, but I've gotten into them....I got a "large" size pantyhose 5-11/165 lbs and some "tall" thigh highs, but I haven't tried them on yet....since pantyhose and nylons tend to "run" real easy I'm wearing only these that already have a run in them....but I'm not going anywhere....I like the feel of wearing nylons/pantyhose...rather sleek I guess....plus with my shaved legs that I put lotion on the feel is especially nice....just wished I had my heels so I could walk around and strut a bit and see how I walk in 4"-5" heels. I've been walking on my toes and I am getting a "swing" in my step naturally and I think I'm going to have a nice strut once I get the hang of it....

All in time.....the femme will come out from within and we'll see what it shows....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Well my wife came home this afternoon from work and she suprised me...almsot shocked me....she showed me an ad from the Sunday paper for a make up kit offer that had 65 assorted pieces of make up in it...lipsticks eyeshadow, applicators and all and it was in a case....it advertised as $175 worth of make up for $14.95. She said that she was going to order it for me and that way I'd have my own set of make up and I could practice on it and then hers as I got better at putting it on after she showed me how to make myself up and we achieve the look we both wanted....and she was going to order that at the same time she ordered some clothes for me as well....

Shocked I guess is one way to put it....this indicates she's warming up to the idea and that may be a good thing and it may be a bad thing....the lady can shop and if she gets into it and starts buying me femme clothes....look out world!!!!!...

It's going to get interesting around here.....:rofl

[tamarav]

I have re-read your post a few times and I am genuinely confused. I read bi-gendered and bi-sexual. Two totally different situations that you have equated to one. While a huge percentage of crossdressers are hetero and do not share the love of being bi, I can appreciate your desire to see what the feminine side is like.

This is a true journey for many of us that you seem to have "walked into" possibly because of your bi-sexuality. Not a negative, just my simple observation. You seem to look at experiencing the feminine by wearing the clothes when there is so much more to it.

I do hope you enjoy your venture and that you admire the feminine side.

Tami

[DanaR]

I have re-read your post a few times and I am genuinely confused. I read bi-gendered and bi-sexual. Two totally different situations that you have equated to one. While a huge percentage of crossdressers are hetero and do not share the love of being bi, I can appreciate your desire to see what the feminine side is like.

This is a true journey for many of us that you seem to have "walked into" possibly because of your bi-sexuality. Not a negative, just my simple observation. You seem to look at experiencing the feminine by wearing the clothes when there is so much more to it.

I do hope you enjoy your venture and that you admire the feminine side.

Tami

Thanks Tami, I thought that I was the only one that was confused.

[Rachel Morley]

Thanks for any advice you care to share with me....

Hi Sherry-Stephanie,

Regarding the fluctuations of your wife, this is pretty typical. Here's something my wife Marla GG wrote about it. You'll find this article all over the web. Many people have said it helped.

It's called: "Now I Like It, Now I Don’t: Understanding the Acceptance Pendulum"

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12890

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/pendulum.html (http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/pendulum.html)

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Confusing???? probably an accurate statement..after all this who "thing" tends to be confusing at best...so let me try and explain it a bit more....

For me I guess I'm looking at it this way....

My bi-sexuality is this...I have found that being with females I take on the masculine role and with males I take on the female role (I'll just leave it at that without further explaination)...and that has lead me to the point or realization that I am experiencing both my male side as well as another side which for me is female. Now through this transition of finding two sides of myself both male and female one being the more dominant (male) and another side that is "out there" to be addressed from time to time (female).

From a realization that I have two sexual identities (for lack of a better description) it has evolved to the point that now I'd like to experience (feel and see) what my female physical side is like...shall we say be able to take my masciline side and remove that and become female in appearence. I have over the years but very very infrequently tried female clothing "just to see" what I'd look like or what it was like to have heels on or a dress or any other "things" but haven't progressed that far beyond that point of very limited curiosity.

But recently, I have decided that I'd like to see exactly what it would be like to be female...but I want to do it as totally as possible as accurately as possible....make up, wig clothing, boobs everything. I've also envisioned once I do this not to simple look in the mirror and then run back in the closet (as in hiding it from everyone and anyone), but to take on this female appearence and "live it"...for a day or two at a time...say for an entire weekend lets say...and do so with my wife's help approval and assistance, because in order to completely pull this off I am going to need her assistance.

That way I can then see what my "female gender" becomes...I can look...I can act and I can experience being a female...thus comes the gender side of myself....

Now is this a bi-gender experience???? a bi-sexual experience or simply me being two people of which one is male and the other is female???? Not sure simply because I haven't reached that point, but what I am trying to do here is to see two sides of myself one as a male and the other as a female. I want to look in the mirror and see the male in me and then make the transition come back and look in the mirror and see the female side of me...and once I look then take on that persona, that personailty and then see where it goes. I like feeling like a female to what I have experienced to this point...now I want to feel the whole package the complete deal the total experience that I can go to short of doing a complete gender alteration...

My guess here is that I will enjoy being masculine most of the time, but at other times I will enjoy being female...thus I become Sherry-Stephanie...and I do so being more or less out and open with my wife. Now where I go from that point like I said I have no idea and I won't until I get there.... It's a journey, en experience and I'm looking for to it...I'm open to it and I embrace the oportunity to experience what I am about to walk into to...it sure is going to be interesting I think.

Now I hope I've been able to undo some of the confusion here....but if I haven't then all I can say is confuse I guess is the norm of becoming involved in a situation like this and maybe sat some point down the road the confuse will fade away....

I may also be using some terms here that I'm really not accurate on and if I am doing that I apoligize for my niaveness in using more correct definaitions and terms but like I say, this is all new to me and I'm just learning as I go...Heck, I don't even know what you all mean when you use the abbreviation "GG"....I'm that new to all of this!!!! (LOL).

If you all would like to take a little bit of time and help me become more educated I'm all ears and would like the help..

Thanks all...

Steph,

[Sharon B.]

I'm just glad you have an understanding spouse to help you with this.
That is something most of us long for is to have an understanding spouse or friend to help us out.
As far as GG is concern it is Genetic Girl or born female however you want to look at it.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Ah see I learned something new...kind of thought that was it just wasn't sure exactly....

yup my wife is that way...we have toal honesty with each other...unique relationship to the 10th degree....like I said she's the one who got me into my first bi experience...she came to me and said have you ever been with a guy..and then she took over from there and made it all happen. She had been bi for years and years....she's had her girlforends over the years as well since we've been together with now is alomsot 20 years between knowing each other and dating and then being married...so it's only natural for us to hav me come to her and say hay you know what I want to try???? and then go from there....

It's goign to be an interesting experience...and after all is that what's life is all about???? living the experience....

Like I told her last nite at I may be a bit "crazy" (her word not mine...) but at least I'm not boring!!!!

later

Off to my real job now....

[Sandi jo]

Sounds as if things are going well just talk as much as you can,let us know how things are

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Well pretty much that's going to be for awhile so I don't plan on doing any blow by blow but I'll check back next week and if there's good or the bad or ugly to report back I'll throw something up...for now it's just a wait and see where this goes....

everyone take care....

later

[Melora]

Dear Sherry-Steffanie..
First of all.. Your 50/50 theory IS WRONG! People ARE ALL DIFFERENT!.
It is not a 50/50 thing Ever! You or both of you have to get a better perspective! You might have a better female perspective than your girl = (example). Yes some/ If not Most people are actually BI, Esspecially Females.. (I Know that this might cause a little controversy..), But Most people Do dream about the same sexuality.. But it is Not a 50/50 thing.. Nature does not work that way. Yes she might be bi & You might be.. bi.. too... But if you are soo Exacting, in your mind.. Then...
Easing up..
JUST "Ease" up a bit.. Quit Questioning soo much.. Be cautious.. And Just Enjoy things and YOUR Awsome "Situation and oppurtunity".. (You have one too, It sounds like your girl kinda likes "IT")!, a bit and quit asking the mirracle,.. "Why it is?", and Just be you and enjoy.. Live Life.. Have adventures.. That is why we are all here.. No? I kinda Envy You a bit.. Lucky You...!
Melora/Katie

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Melora...

Thanks for your imput...I appreciate you comments. I really do....

My "50/50" isn't really the way you address it other than simply there's a male and/or female with makes it "50/50" simply because there's two sides male or female genders but it's not an equal proportionate in the two being "out there" (if that makes any sense)....

I fully agree with you that people are all different even to the point that everyone has an uniquiness and individuality that makes everyone special in some shape for or manner....

My "questioning" is two part....it's just my nature to question, as a excersie in "exploring"...as well as trying to understand what I am, who I am and all that goes with it...that's just me....and have made a very good living at "questioning things" in my life time....

I feel fine with the way things are in my life as well as being able to approach my wife and say "Hon, you know what I'd like to do"?...if I didn't then I would have kept this to myself, but I'd much rather be open (and I know I can be open, upfront and honest with her) and let her become part of the experience for not only me but for herself as well and see what we can do with this whole idea collectively as a "team" and that will only enhance the experience by being able to have her help in areas that I need help in...selecting clothes, make up wigs etc....so what's nto to love about that idea? (smile). So for me or us there isn't any guilt or confusion or anything like that. It's simply becomes an effort to explore and discover new things. In this case it's my femme side and to me that's a good thing ...not a bad thing.

One has to admit that going through all of this whether simply becoming femme or in our case being more into the bi aspect only because that's where we are (even before coming to this area of our desires and interests of it) the "why" might surface from time to time and that's only normal I would think.

The bottom line is that yes, we are all people who have a certain obligation to be at least true to one's self whatever that self might be and seek to follow the "inner voice" shall we say wherever that inner voice tells us to go....

So that is what I am doing and in the process I have the good fortune to be able to bring my "soulmate" along with me as I/we explore this path....and THAT ain't a bad thing!!!!!

later ladies....

Steph...