What you you have said? (if anything)

[Genifer Teal]

I commute to work by train. Last week I noticed this woman standing on the opposite platfrom. She was dressed in a nice business suit and an amazing (yet business appropriate) pair of heels. The fact that she was standing alone on the other sie of the platform, and that I had never seen her before, both indicated she was not a regular commuter (on this train at least).

This woman boarded before me and sat right next to my usual spot. Anyone who commutes regularly knows we all have our usual spots on the train. Being so close gave me an opportunity to notice her hose. They we fishnet, yet nude in color. I like the contrast this created on her legs. From afar I could not tell they were fishnet. Up close the texture added a little something extra to her look that plain hose would not have.

Back to the reason for this post. As we both exited the train, I did the polite thing and let her walk in front of me. I imediately notced the slit on the back of her jacket (of her buisness suit - not an overcoat). It still had the temporary stiching to keep it closed. This is usually found on skirt slits ect to protect them prior to sale. My first thought was it must be new.

Having only seconds to think before we exited the train I wondered if I should say something and more importantly what to say. I also thought of a post here (which I can't find) about fem things we know that a typical guy wouldn't. Part of me was like, Why do I know this? Another part of me didn't want to embarrass her. I did think of something after it was too late. I will post it later. First, let me hear what you might have said - if anything. Would you even have noticed?

Gen

[tricia_uktv]

Genifer, I wouldn't have said anything for precisely the reasons you mention. I suspect we are both wrong. And I have been wise after the event so many times. I know exactly what you feel. Hugs

[Michelle-NC]

I think I would have noticed...but would probably not have said anything...but that is more because I am just a quite shy person, and normally am not much for talking to stangers...about anything.

[KellyCD]

I don't think I could have mustered the mental capacity to form a complete sentence honesty.

From what you described she sounded beautiful (IMO) and because I am still male-and a young one at that-I lose higher brain function in the presence of beautiful women.

Plus I'm shy in person...:o

[Joanna-Louise]

I lose higher brain function in the presence of beautiful women.



Don't we all?!?

back to the point, same again, i wouldnt have said a word, probably noticed but kept quiet.

xx

[Valistar]

If I wasn't more shy I probably would have said something nice about the way she looked. Even most GGs like to get complimented and if she was cross dressing then it might just make her day to get a nice compliment. It rarely hurts to give out compliments to other people and if more people complimented each other think of how much better a place this world would be!

[Stargirl]

Didn't men used to tip their hats at lovely women ? or any women ? And say "ma'am". Or "Well, don't you look nice ?" It didn't just happen in the movies, I recall my Uncles, and Grandfather showing such courtesies. If we are females, or in drag, I imagine that most(of us) women would like a compliment. There may be a few who act stuck up, or full of themselves (yawn), but our girls would probably say "Thank you sugar" "Thank you so much."
Yes, it would be terrible to tell a pretty woman she looks nice, only to have her say "Get lost, Buster" (or Busterette). At that point, I would say she's insecure in some way.

[Genifer Teal]

Just to be clear, this was a GG (not CD/TS/or whatever). My hesitation was 2 fold. Why did I know this and how not to embarass her.

Gen

[Kristen Marie]

I think a compliment would be welcomed, but it's always tough on a train. I have complimented a nice outfit on occassion, but it's rare.

I remember commuting and late one night a single female I did not know was alone on the platform in Boston and was being harrassed by some young guys. I walked over and said, Hi Jennifer, how was work today? The guys split and she thanked me. I told her my daughter rides the train at night I always worry for her. We chatted for a bit, but that was it.

[deja true]

I complement women friends often, especially when it's obvious that they've made a special effort for some reason, a party, a birthday, a new outfit or hairdo.

But, with younger wmen, I often get a look of surprise, as if they've never been complemented before. Odd, really.

Sorta the same thing when I'm in a big city and hold a door for a women. Often get a funny look rather than a smile or thank you.

Modern times, I guess! Modern independent young women don't seem to understand "chivalrous" behaviour anymore, probably because they don't get much from modern young men! And they probably think older men with manners are creeps, somehow. Sad!

Oh well, I'll still keep doing it, that's how I was raised. I guess when I get really old and walking with a cane and still do the polite thing, they'll finally think it's "cute".

Just what I need......"cute"!

[BethCD]

Kristen Marie,
God bless you for having done that!! It sent shivers through me reading that. I have a daughter who lives in a large city, and I worry about the same. You are an angel.

Beth:thumbsup:

[KellyCD]

.....But, with younger wmen, I often get a look of surprise, as if they've never been complemented before. Odd, really.

Sorta the same thing when I'm in a big city and hold a door for a women. Often get a funny look rather than a smile or thank you.

Modern times, I guess! Modern independent young women don't seem to understand "chivalrous" behaviour anymore.....


OMG I get the same thing!!! I hold doors for people (mostly girls I admit it) and I get the funny look and the "umm thanks" most of the time. Is it creepy for a guy to hold a door open girls?

Recently a young woman (I'd geuss about 18 or 19) was standing in front of me in line and dropped her credit card. She didn't notice it until I had picked it up held it out to her and said "Excuse me, you dropped this". She turned, and her eyes almost popped out of her head as she snatched it out of my hand with a "NO, EXCUSE ME THAT'S MINE!" and gave me an evil look that almost rivaled what I get from my wife.

:Angry3:

Their is no room for courtesy in this world anymore it seems.

[Genifer Teal]

Let's get back to my question. I noticed that she had not removed the stitch closing the flap in the back of her suit jacket. I wanted to say something to her without ebarassing her. On the other hand a guy would not normally notice or even know about those things, so I was a little embarased. I only had 10 seconds but could not think of anything appropriate to say, so I said nothing. Would you have said something? If so, what would you have said?

Gen

[tamarav]

I would not have said anything about the temporary stiching, she may have liked it that way.

On the other hand, I am not one to keep quiet when I see a beautiful woman. I compliment them on their appearance as I would like to complimented. I would like my daughters to be complimented also, with it ending there.

As a hair stylist I can get away with a lot more than the average guy (when in guy mode) because most women see all hair stylists as gay, i.e., no threat. So I have no problem with saying something nice about her appearance but would not do anything other than pick a thread off her suit, not comment on what might not be an error on her part.

Hmmm, reminds me of the night I met a well-known dominatrix in an Irish bar in San Francisco....

Tami

[harmony]

nowadays just to see a well turned out lady in a skirt and stockings is like one in a 1000!i feel like going to each one of them and thanking them just for that!!its become a drab world and as a proficient crossdresser i take it as one of my tasks to spread glamour and elegance where ever i can.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

OMG I get the same thing!!! I hold doors for people (mostly girls I admit it) and I get the funny look and the "umm thanks" most of the time. Is it creepy for a guy to hold a door open girls?

Their is no room for courtesy in this world anymore it seems.

Lol, I'm usually the one giving the "umm thanks" look but when I hold doors for people (all the time) people are usually pretty polite. People also seem to go out of their way to hold doors for me :idontknow: then again sometimes I do it as well.

On topic: I would not have had a reason to speak to the women, unless she made eye contact and at least gave a smile then I might say hi.

--
I think you people who don't see enough dressed women just need to move. It may not be a majority but it certainly is not uncommon from my pov.

[CD Susan]

Harmony said it perfectly. I agree, it is a rare sight to see a woman even wearing a dress or skirt any more. Here where I live anyway.

[Genifer Teal]

This thread is not going in the direction I intended. I was looking for insight as to how I could have politely told her about the stitching without embarassing her or anyone finding it odd that I would even notice and know about such a thing. I should add that a coworker was behind me and may have been able to hear me.

My perception of the situation is that she might have been on a job interview or maybe a first day of a new job. She seemed new to the commute and the jacket was new. I had the feeling she was trying to make a nice impression. I didn't want the stitching to ruin that and give away the newness of her clothes. I didn't want my comment to cause her more concern as to what else could be out of place.

My thought was to compliment her outfit and especially the jacket ending with - Is that new? If she said yes I would then mention she may wish to remove the stitching on the flap. A friend of mine suggested wording it she must have forgot to undo the stitch. This way I would not be implying she didn't know to remove it.

I gues it doesn't matter. The reason I even thought to post this was because of another thread it reminded me of which was about things we know that generally only a woman would know. When I noticed the stitch I thought men really wouldn't notice that. I couldn't find that thread but I was also curious how anyone else might have approached this situation.

Gen

[sterling12]

Well, I would say that you had a bigger problem than "knowing too much about women's clothing." If you had mentioned it to her, she would have assumed that you were looking at her behind!

The good part, since men's jackets are made the same way, I would have just told her: "Couldn't help but notice, the split is still basted." "I've had the same thing happen to me with a couple of my suit coats, it's easy to forget to cut those little stitches."

She still would have known that you were examining her tushy. But in a way that's kind of a compliment, plus you would have been non-threatening. Oh well, if it wasn't a fashion choice on her part, a GF would certainly have told her about it, when she got to the office. No harm.....no foul!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

I for one have no idea what this stitching is, but here is how I would have decided what to do.
If it was really ugly, I would say something about the skirt. If it looked ok, I would not worry about it.
I really doubt this stitch would have any effect on an impression for anyone unless they are really into scrutinizing people's outfits. Seems kinda nit picky to me unless it's obvious and tacky.
'Course I still have no idea what you are talking about.

[crusadergirl]

I don't get the question. I guess i would say whats wrong with your stiching? And then hold the door open for her if she was cute.

[Nadia-Maria]

Genifer, if I understand correctly what you mean, it seems there is an ancient chinese saying fitting that situation:
<< Only your best friend will tell you that there is something wrong (some dirt for instance) on your face >> (approximative translation)

I think this saying tells the truth.
I noticed only very nice and caring people were able to do the proper comment in such a circumstance. Standard people prefer avoiding any risk at all, and let you go with the problem pending.


Kisses

Nadia

[Amy Hepker]

What would you have done if she would have started an arguement over it. OOOPS! She would say something like "How do you know?" I could just see her getting real loud about it.

[Jodie Wexler]

I would of said how great she looked and that it was nice to see someone nicely dressed for a change. I would probably mentioned the stitch. They do this on the vents on the back of men's suits also so I don't think it would of been that much of a deal. She may have been going to some big meeting or interview for the first time better to be told by a complimentary stranger that mentioned in a snide way in the office.
Jodie

["Mary"]

Tough steering a conversation sometimes, eh ,Gen?

Perhaps we're all getting off on a tangent because no one would: a) start a conversation with a hot stranger exiting the train, and b) thought of anything appropriate even if they were inclined to say something.

I would have complimented her outfit if we had just sat down (or settled standing, etc..) near each other. The only angle I can think of on the stitch would be to appear clever in believing it's new. I personally love showing that I know a lot more about women's clothes than I ought to.

[Amy Lynn3]

I agree with Jodie. I would have complimented her on her attire and stated something like......I love to wear new clothing, but hate to take out those stiches in the vents. I forgot one time and this happened........you get the idea how I would have done it. I think it would be very kind to the lady to plant the idea she may have missed doing that. The next move would have been on her part, but you could have felt good about trying to help.

[paulaluvssz8]

I don't think that I would have said anything without knowing her personally. This is considered an insult if she is not a friend. But strike up a conversation with her and see how it goes. She may be a great GF someday. Even if it is just a shopping companion that would be wonderful.

[Genifer Teal]

She may have been going to some big meeting or interview for the first time better to be told by a complimentary stranger that mentioned in a snide way in the office.
Jodie


This is exactly why I wanted to say something. Woman to woman it would have been much easier to say. I just wanted to be helpful and point out something that is difficult for her to notice once she is wearing the jacket.

Great thought Amy - I love to wear new clothing, but hate to take out those stiches in the vents. I forgot one time and this happened . . .

Ive used something similar before. State how you made the same mistake once and let them realize they might have done it too.

Gen