Family Matters

[sweet_pea_07]

Just wondering,

What was your worst feeling about 'coming out'?

The worst was my 16 year-old daughter's disappointment in me, it cut deep...

[MJ]

well mine was my children rejecting me . they did not understand but after 4 years my youngest isobel made contact with me . i am full time and the first time she saw her "DaD" as marissa .. we are talking and that is good ..

[Eugenie]

My wife didn't react negatively at first but when my crossdressing went beyond just wearing lacy underwear, then she reacted negatively. That made me feel very bad...

My daughter reacted very well, even though she told me that she would rather not see me "en femme"... (She is going on 38)

Other coming out to friends and coleagues were all very positive.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[BethCD]

Sweetpea, Although I haven't yet made my dressing known to my kids (grown, moved out) I think they might have an inkling. I've considered leaving "clues" for my daughter to find when she is in town, as she would probably be most tolerant. But I haven't gone there yet.
Would love to quit the hiding, but it could get complicated in a long term way......
Someday maybe.....

Beth:o

[Valistar]

I still have yet to come out to my family. I don't have any children or SO to come out too, but I still have my parents and siblings. I know that my parents will love me despite anything that I do. My biggest fear is the disappointment that I know will come. I'm sure that they already suspect but deny to themselves that I don't really follow what they want me to be. I was the child they never had to worry about because I was always so cautious and could take care of myself.

They are conservative Christians, and I believe that they buy into the whole "homosexuality, bisexuality, and transexuality are unnatural and curable things" belief. It is about as curable as one's handedness... sure you can train the other hand till it works better, but naturally you still favor the primary hand. I know my parents will definitely pray for me to "get better" and probably ask me to get some counseling or something like that. I don't like keeping secrets from them though since naturally I am a very truthful person. I just need to work up the courage to tell them.

[paulaluvssz8]

I will probably never come out to my kids. I would rather have them in my life and not loose them just to dress. I love this side of me but I am not willing to loose their love and support as their dad. Because I want to dress like their mom. It to me is special to dress. But again, I would rather not destroy their image of me as their DAD.

[newbiecdinwa]

I don't think I could take the risk of letting anyone know at this point. I feel I do need to keep it very private. I wish things were different, but I just don't think I could handle the emotional crisis that could put me in...

[docrobbysherry]

Except here, but I don't think that counts?

[Nadia-Maria]

I came out recently two times in my family (SO and SO's daughter) and the results are up to now a little more positive than expected, and acceptation is still increasing.

However, I would not come out to other people in my family ; I don't trust them enough ; at best it will be neutral ; at worst it would be terrible.

I think you have to choose carefully people whom you come out. They must be close, nice, caring, open and trustful people. Not too many I 'm afraid.

Hugs

Nadia

[BillieJoe]

I came out to my stepdaughter. First we discussed how she felt about cd'ers in general even before any mention of my being one. Se said she didn't realy have a problem with them but didn't understand why a man would want to dress as a female. After a little discussion I told her I was thinking of starting to wear a bra. I ask her how she thought she would handle it, she said it probably would not bother her. We were at her house at the time and I had brought a soft cup bra with me in my car. I suggested that I go and get us something to eat and when I returned I had put the bra on in the car. It never phased her when she saw it. So the next week I wore a padded one to house. She said it looked good. So the next week I wore my forms and she was fascinated by them. She thought they looked great. So much so that when she went shopping the next time she bought me a sheer black blouse and a camisol. Talk about acceptance.

[Nicole Erin]

My family really doesn't talk or ask about it even though I am sure they all know by now.

I guess the only bad part is I kind of have to be careful how I dress to these family functions.

I guess the worst part for me is not knowing how they really feel and of course I am not going to bring it up if they don't.

[Veronica 1]

My daughter in law caught me in heels and that gave me time to bring it about softly, but with my son it was "Ta Da, here I am" and his not being able to look at me for the first half hour was painful.

[Joanne f]

It is a bit funny that i should have just logged on and read your thread as we have just had bit of an issue with our 16 year old daughter about me cding, we have had bit of a issue with our daughter bringing in her boyfriend just about every night to just sit around, now i know it is better to know where she is all the time but my wife was getting a bit fed up with it so she said just jokingly that she would put on a very short skirt and that i would wear one also (my daughter doe`s know that i wear skirts ) well i was not quite prepared for the reaction that i got , it was in a hysterical voice " that's right f*** my life up some more i had to put up with all that crap from people before so i do not want my boyfriend to know about you , well it has just shot me down a peg or two, to tell you the truth it has made me feel a bit sick with my self so i know how you feel .


joanne

[joann07]

I still have yet to come out to my family. I don't have any children or SO to come out too, but I still have my parents and siblings. I know that my parents will love me despite anything that I do. My biggest fear is the disappointment that I know will come. I'm sure that they already suspect but deny to themselves that I don't really follow what they want me to be. I was the child they never had to worry about because I was always so cautious and could take care of myself.

They are conservative Christians, and I believe that they buy into the whole "homosexuality, bisexuality, and transexuality are unnatural and curable things" belief. It is about as curable as one's handedness... sure you can train the other hand till it works better, but naturally you still favor the primary hand. I know my parents will definitely pray for me to "get better" and probably ask me to get some counseling or something like that. I don't like keeping secrets from them though since naturally I am a very truthful person. I just need to work up the courage to tell them.

I am in the same boat with you with a lot of things you mentioned, especially your "I was the child they never had to worry about because I was always so cautious and could take care of myself."
I'm single, never married, nor do I have kids, but lkke you I still have my folks and my brother and sister.
They're always asking me if I've found someone, but I just keep telling them that I'm still searching.

My folks are conservative Catholics, and although they know about homosexuals, transvestites, and all, they would probably have me talk to someone. Especially my mom since she's a doctor (Retired) of Psychiatry.

Anyway, I've had thoughts of telling a member of my family, but I'm trying to find the right moment and courage to tell them.

[KayR]

I apologise if this sounds patronising, but I am in absolute awe of you all. That you have taken the courage to not only come out to a largely hostile world, but to alienate yourselves from beloved family members, is astonishing.
Its a bit like volunteering to become Robinson Crusoe. The loneliness and isolation would just get to me, I'm afraid.
So let me raise a toast to you ladies! May your path be smoother from this day forward.

[JoAnnDallas]

When I finially told my wife last year. I kept thinking, "Please don't freak out, Please don't reject me". Even with the incident last Sunday, I had the same thoughts, even more so, sense she now has seen me fully dressed. They are scary thoughts and at least in my case, wife is handling it better than what my thoughts were.