First sexual meeting

[mandyb]

I am fairly new to cross dressing but realised recently it all started when I was around 10yrs old and remember trying on a pair of my mums boots.Anyway thats a little about me. The reason for the post is because I have been speaking to a few girls since I have been dressing and very flattered that some of them wish to meetup.Some just want to meet and chat but some of them want something more from the meeting.This really excite`s me and I was told to take note of these feelings as they are likely to be my true thoughts.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.

[Desiree2bababe]

I had the same fears and in all reality, I suppose I'm bisexual because of my desires for men while dressed. I feel into the arms of my first man, literally to my knees.

Good luck, just be honest with your feelings. Nothing wrong with liking both worlds.

[lisa_e_love]

Something may excite you in your head but not excite you in reality. If you're feeling adventurous, by all means test the waters, but be cautious because you might not like everything that you have good feelings about in your mind.

[Mashough]

I share the same feeling as you.
Although I had not the experience of having to be with the same sex, but I often think about it and feel excited and scare at the same time.
It's good to know that others share the same feelings.:hugs:

[amber 07]

Do yourself a favour and take the sexual orientation test in this forum. It will probably help you decide on the sexual confusion you are now going through. All the luck to you. Hugs, Amber

[~Seana~]

.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.[/QUOTE]

It might. I'm bisexual and it took me a LONG time to admit that, mostly because I had a long term partner who ridiculed such things. In fact in my first sexual experience with a genetic male I STILL wasnt sure, I just knew that I enjoyed what I had done.
And THAT really is the crux of it. You're taught from birth that homosexuality is bad very similarly to crossdressing. In the end though, it's your decision wheather it is or not. You live by your rules not societies. If it feels good, and is something you want to do, why the heck not? Mind it helped incredibly that I had a supportive female partner who I would not be as comfortable as I am without. She encouraged me in more ways than I can count.

Amanda
The happy ****!

[CharleneT]

I second Lisa-e-love's thought on this one.

C.

[jenny logan]

I'm bisexual but it's been years since I've been with another man. The time in my life when I was having sex with men I was single and it was always only with other cds I met in clubs or bars. Since my wife entered my life I've been faithful to her but the memory of those homosexual encounters never really go away. She knows about my past and accepts my sexuality but I've never strayed from her because of all the love and support she offers me in my struggle to come to terms with my feelings and desires. We are what we are, but if you are in a committed relationship, cheating is still cheating and the consequences of that are far worse than acting on your impulses. Just another piece of the puzzle in dealing with my feminine side. Someday, I'll figure it all out and come to terms with it. For now, it's just day by day.

[JoanieLynn]

I knew by the time I was 16 yrs old that I was bisexual.I've been dressing since I was 15.At 16 I desired men when I was dressed as a woman.My first
sexual encounter came when I was 19 and I was dressed as a woman. Ever since then the only time that I'm ever with a man is if I'm dressed as a woman.I like the feeling of a man lifting my skirt and having his own way!oops!

[Raquel June]

I second Lisa-e-love's thought on this one.

C.

Me too (or third, or whatever).

If you're thinking about putting on boobs/makeup/wig and getting into a situation wth another person with boobs/makeup/wig, and if you would be disgusted by the situation if both of you got rid of the boobs/makeup/wig, it's going to turn out extremely awkward.

Even if a TG is pretty hot, the illusion falls apart fast when you start making out, unless she's had laser/electolysis done on her face. Think about the stubble. Think about the boy parts. Think about the man voice. Think about big hands touching you. If you're cool with that, go for it.

[deja true]

Mandy , hon, I'd be surprised if any CD says they've never had these thoughts. How can you avoid them if your intention is to have a woman's look, a woman's body and a woman's mind.

As a lotta the ladies have said, all you can do is "go with the flow" and work it out in your head on a case by case basis. Get rid of the guilt. If you're following a desire that hurts no one else and gives you pleasure, go where your heart leads you.

Beware the impetuousness produced by drink or pressure. You de-value sex by divorcing it from the pull of the heart. Do as you please, but don't do it for pleasure alone. You'll always want it to be associated with good memories, not more guilt and embarrassment.

[Fab Karen]

If you have fantasies of the non-heterosexual kind, experiment & discover more about yourself, what's right for you.

[Eugenie]

But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

The real question shouldn't be whether you are hetero, homo or bissexual. The only question should be:"Am I really in love (or at least badly turned on...) with that person?" and the second question then becomes "Do I let my senses guide my behaviour or do some other motives tell me that I shouldn't let my senses take over..."

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.

My first experience took me by surprise... I felt really attracted to the person (another CD sister) and it was reciprocal... It turned out that she started pretty soon to act as a man with me and that my senses completely surprised me... I was completely seduced and abandonned... It didn't matter what was the gender of the person I was with. I just felt so good...

Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.
On your last question, at that point it was almost irrelevant. It just happened that we didn't go all the way... But that wasn't even important anymore...

I think sexual behaviour with a partner requires a mutual respect and a true relationship, be it a woman, a crossdresser or a man...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Nicole Erin]

You might just enjoy the idea of a man being turned on by you.

Men are kind of gross in my taste. Yeah it would be cool knowing a guy was going to think of me when he was with his wife that night but yeah fantasy and reality are not the same.

[Vicky_Scot]

Mandy , hon, I'd be surprised if any CD says they've never had these thoughts. How can you avoid them if your intention is to have a woman's look, a woman's body and a woman's mind.

What an absolute ridiculous statement.

Talk about generalisation.

[DemonicDaughter]

First you might want to take a look at this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78960). There are a lot of good responses there. I am bisexual and this is something most people feel from puberty on. Many who only feel it "at times" or under "certain circumstances" are called bi-curious.

Is it possible you are? Sure. Is it probable? Not likely as most people of any sexual orientation will tell you its all the time or they've known since puberty.

Don't get me wrong, there is that possibility, but please know, bisexuals fall in love with people of any gender. Its not just sexual and that's a very big difference.

[MichelleOBrien]

okay, here's the deal. I've been where you are. It's all about how far you are actually willing to go. If you're out there and you see a guy and you start talking...let's say he wants to touch you. are you comfortable? what if he kisses you...or invites you to his place. If at any point you get uncomfortable, STOP. You have the right to say no, and if you need any safety tips, it's in a sticky on the top of the forum. It took me four tries before I found somebody I was comfortable with. It may take you only one, or it might take thirty. it depends on how comfortable you are and how many times you're willing to put yourself out there.

That's really about it. Have fun and let us know what happens. You know, us girls want details!!!

[DawnRodgers]

As with most, it started "innocently" enough. The feel of nylons, garters, bra. The look of a feminine body. The skirt, my breasts sticking out. my hair sweeping my shoulders. The touch abd taste of my lipstick, the look and feel of my mascara and eye shadow,. That was sensual enough. Then the mind change from wow thios is sexy to how do I look to others. Reading TV literature and looking at photos. Wpndering how it would be like to be with a man. Wanting to be with a man. Enjoying the femininity of being with a man. Wantong aman exclusively.
That has been my journey. Obviously not everyone has gone down this path but it one I have traveled and do not regret.
Dawn

[SarahHall]

I never had desires for men until I slipped on my first pair of panties and nylons and new I was bi-sexual right then. I was fortunate to find the right guy and we had very nice sexual relationship:hugs:.

[Rachel Morley]

If the thought excites you perhaps this could be the legendary and infamous "bi when dressed" scenario. :) I don't have it myself but I think I understand it. When dressed, the ultimate feminizing experience is to "use a man" as you see fit to be a girl's "must have accessory" :D

[jasmine57]

I think you should enjoy the feelings you're having. Being bisexual is not a curse. But putting a label on it takes the fun out of it. Go with what you feel. You'll know very quickly if it's for you or not. I've know I'm bisexual for many years, it just took 40 years to act on it. I've enjoyed my experiences and wouldn't trade them for the world. Don't let anyone talk you into or out of expanding your experiences. Go with your heart and be honest with yourself. You'll know what to do when the time comes.

[sandra-leigh]

Let me add the usual caveats:

- protect your physical safety, especially with anyone you don't know well. That can mean things like hourly cell-phone check-ins with a friend who always knows where you are... meeting in public first, and so on

- protect your sexual safety. Wear protection, no ATM, and so on.

- If you are currently in a relationship with someone, STOP and think about what this could do to your relationship, especially if the other person doesn't know. If Sally is exclusive with you, and you pick up an STD from a secret encounter with Harry, and you give it to Sally, she is not going to thank you for it.

[Raquel June]

- protect your sexual safety. Wear protection, no ATM, and so on.

Whoa!

That's sound advice... but... WHOA!

Is it bad that this cracked me up -- the way you just threw it in there casually? I don't think anybody does that outside porn anyway. Is it even legal?

[sandra-leigh]

(re: ATM)

I don't think anybody does that outside porn anyway. Is it even legal?

Legal in Ohio? Yes, as long as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

(And no, I'm not just making that up!)

[Elizabeth Ann]

(re: ATM)


Legal in Ohio? Yes, as long as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

(And no, I'm not just making that up!)

ATM? Okay, I'm not the most experienced person in the world. The only ATM I know is the machine where you get money, and a computer acronm. Your going to have to explain this one.

Elizabeth

[sandra-leigh]

The only ATM I know is the machine where you get money, and a computer acronm. Your going to have to explain this one.


I'll send you a brief PM -- the expansion might be slightly beyond the bounds of this public forum.

[Raquel June]

as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

Hmm... But who exactly qualifies as a woman?

[Beth785]

"Maybe, in the heat of passion, it's okay to go A-T-M!" Clerks 2

[sandra-leigh]

Hmm... But who exactly qualifies as a woman?

I spent a bunch of time (too much time!) chasing down the law. It had to do with Cleveland Ohio specifically, and had to do with women wearing patent leather shoes in public (lest men see the reflection of the women's underwear in the shoes.) However, I went through the current Cleveland ordinances and could not find this law, so I think it must have been repealed by now.

[chrissietoo]

I'd agree that attraction to men starts early, and also that it's often hidden from ourselves for a long time.

Before puberty, my friend and I discovered masturbation together, and then we discovered our mom's lingerie drawers. We freely and innocently played with each other, and I often dressed and danced for him, and even did silly strip-teases.

It happened that our family moved just at puberty, and in my new (small) town I quickly had a crush on and made friends with another boy (and some girls). Stupidly thinking that boys that like each other also like to play naked, I 'came on' to him and was brutally rejected. It was pretty traumatic.

For years I acted nothing but straight with men (though with women I was different), until I began hanging out with a new friend, Dirk. We met on weekends and enjoyed each other's company and doing things together as two straight guys.

He was very macho, and I was (inside and secretly) very femme, and over time our relationship really became more like boyfriend and girlfriend--we did what he wanted, I did what would please him, etc.

Talking about girls led to arousal and then (after three years) masturbation together and to my pleasing him orally. After six months (!!), I finally risked everything and dressed in front of him. His first comment was, "Damn, women's clothes suit you so well!!" Later, we laughed about how long it took us to get to that point!

I'm not sure if this addresses your question much, I hope so. Thanks for letting me talk about this...

:)

[Raquel June]

Before puberty, my friend and I discovered masturbation together, and then we discovered our mom's lingerie drawers. We freely and innocently played with each other

I find it disturbing to call that innocent. Before puberty there's no sex drive to get that kind of thing going. While I suppose technically that kind of thing could happen, in reality it doesn't. When two kids are brought up in a good home they don't suddenly think it's a good idea to start masturbating together. Every time you get to the bottom of one of those stories, the truth is that one of the children was molested at an extremely young age, and then the kid in turn starts molesting his/her friends.

When a 3-year-old takes off his clothes and says "look at me!" that can be innocent, but when a 10-year-old takes it out and starts playing with it in front of his friend, that's a sign of childhood trauma.

[chrissietoo]

When two kids are brought up in a good home they don't suddenly think it's a good idea to start masturbating together. Every time you get to the bottom of one of those stories, the truth is that one of the children was molested at an extremely young age, and then the kid in turn starts molesting his/her friends.

When a 3-year-old takes off his clothes and says "look at me!" that can be innocent, but when a 10-year-old takes it out and starts playing with it in front of his friend, that's a sign of childhood trauma.

Well, I was never molested, and have no reason at all to suspect that my friend was. I've met and talked to many men who masturbated with their friends as boys and who had "normal" upbringings. It was innocent in that we really didn't know much about sex (it was only after we'd masturbated for a while that I learned about intercourse), we just knew it felt real good.

Perhaps some major trauma is as yet undiscovered, buried deep in my unconscious, but i prefer the more direct explanation for young sex...it was a big turn-on.

:)

[Jill Mac]

if you think your bi, i say just go with it see where it takes you. I started with bi thoughts when dressed, then discovered i was having fantasy's about other cd'ers even when i wasnt dressed, then it moved on again to wanting non cders, no find me sexy when i was dressed. when i finally meet my 1st guy, the look on his face when he seen my underwear & how quickly it got him turned on, turned me on. always makes me smile when i think of that night:daydreaming:

Jill

[MsJoann]

In my mind, engaging in homosexual activities with another, CD or male, does not constitute being homosexual.
If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.
There have been real cute guys I've had crushes on in the past. If I were truly attracted to males, then I guess I would be attached now.
I believe it's okay to "test the waters" if you special feelings for another CD or male friend.

[Raquel June]

In my mind, engaging in homosexual activities with another, CD or male, does not constitute being homosexual.

Wha... ???

Engaging in homosexual activities doesn't constitute being homosexual? That's the very definition of homosexuality.

There are plenty of homosexual men who aren't down with the gay lifestyle or interested in a long-term monogamous relationship with another man, but that certainly doesn't mean they're not homosexual.




If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.
There have been real cute guys I've had crushes on in the past. If I were truly attracted to males, then I guess I would be attached now.

And I really have no idea what you're saying about "oral activity." If heterosexual couples can have oral sex, why can't homosexuals have oral sex without being labeled as homosexual? What on earth are you saying?

You like having oral sex with men, but you're not attached to one? There are cute guys you've had crushes on, but not most of them? Welcome to the gay single life!

[chrissietoo]

Wha... ???

Engaging in homosexual activities doesn't constitute being homosexual? That's the very definition of homosexuality.

[snip]
You like having oral sex with men, but you're not attached to one? There are cute guys you've had crushes on, but not most of them? Welcome to the gay single life!

IMHO sexuality is more than who you have sex with. It's who you fall in love with (men, women, both?),
how feel deep inside (masculine, feminine, gender queer?), how you present yourself to others (man, woman, neither); what kinds of bodies you like to play with is just one part of the spectrum.

We've all seen that the answers to those questions are broad, can sometimes change, and don't easily fit into categories. That's what being human is about.

Why is it so important to "know" if someone is homosexual, or did something "homosexual" or not? Isn't it more important to know if they (and their partner) were kind, happy and satisfied?

[Raquel June]

Why is it so important to "know" if someone is homosexual, or did something "homosexual" or not? Isn't it more important to know if they (and their partner) were kind, happy and satisfied?

I don't think it's important to know. The only people who seem to care much about labels are the ones who are scared of being seen as gay. I just thought her statement was very odd:



If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.

I just can't figure out what she's trying to say. If hetero couples can have hetero sex, why can't gay couples have gay sex? It makes no sense. Hetero couples having hetero sex leads to them being labeled as hetero couples, just like gay couples having gay sex leads to them being labeled as gay.

[ManInBra]

I had just got out of the Navy in 1987 and a buddy and I were partying pretty good and feelin pretty brave, We were at my then GF's house, she was upstairs sleeping and as we discussed the multitude of things we were curious about and wanted to attempt, we decided to go up to her dresser and find lingerie items, pantyhose or whatever would work for the next couple hours, we had been friends for years before this, still are, there are many times I find myself thinking back and remembering, and at times even find myself wishing to do it all again,

[AmandaM]

If the thought excites you perhaps this could be the legendary and infamous "bi when dressed" scenario. :) I don't have it myself but I think I understand it. When dressed, the ultimate feminizing experience is to "use a man" as you see fit to be a girl's "must have accessory" :D

Quite possible. It would give a sense of validation. "He takes me, therefore, I have achieved my desire to be a woman".

[RachelPortugal]

In gurly mode I must be "heterosexual" and would only go with a man. Whenever the right opportunity comes along, yes I will fall into his arms and onto my knees.

:thumbsup:Mandy, as the old adage goes, you won't know until you try it.


Strangely, or may be not, in boy mode I am bisexual, which my wife accepts and sometimes encourages.

[Janice1948]

My first sexual encounter with a CD was an absolutely wonderful experience and I have had quite of few of them since then. Not once was I disappointed by these sexual encounters. They are ordinary people just like us. Over time I found myself being emailed by straight males, chatted with them and ultimately dated a few. Frankly they were more gentlemanly than a lot of the males I have run across in my long life. I see no need however to put a label on it. If you enjoy being with a woman, a tgirl, a CD, a straight male or a manatee, I say go for it, enjoy yourself and don't worry about what it makes or doesn't make you.

Hugs, Janice

[CDTiffany]

WOW, Good Question! OK. So I have been a CD my whole life. And yes I have done the Hotel thing. (getting all dolled up, and having sex with a man). Very hot at the time!

I was also very young and goofing around with dr#$gs!!

So I became a good girl. And I still had the fantasy!!!

I sat in front of the computer, thinking I would hook up with men, so I would feel like a woman!!!!

Well, fate stepped in. I met Gina, A make up artist, And than I met a bunch of really cool crossdressers that actually went out to bars and clubs, And I realized that my true fantasy was strolling all over town as a woman. Wanting to feel like a woman had,NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.

I guess from my experience. Being in the closet, leads to closet fanyasy's. If there is anyway you can actually leave the closet you will experience reallity. Which is where you might find your REAL FEELINGS.

I am not on a high horse, I realize that I am very lucky to live the life I live. But I thought I would share my experience!

XOXO Tiffany

[Billijo49504]

My wife and I have traded places a few times, it just didn't feel right to either of us to trade places. so I'm still the guy, in gurls clothes, and she is still the girl. All the best....BJ

[AshleyCD]

Very good discussion topic. When I dress I do fantisize about being with a cd/tg/ts/male, though I know it is only good for me in fantasy land.

So I go to raves on regular basis, I'm one of the few totally sober ravers, I just love to dance. Anyways we had party at my friends since there was not any that weekend. Let's just say four of us ended up on my friends king size bed. Anyways I won't label him, but he dressed in female clothes, bad makeup and bright wigs and decided he was hot for me. So I said what the heck, so the four of us chatted, while building up with foreplay all of us dressed though. I was mostly playing with his nipples, we had these vibrating gloves, so I massaged him with those also (only up above though), though he started to want me to touch him through his shorts, that is where I drew the line though, I just got weirded out by touching someone elses. So that just confirmed that I am definitely hetro and not bi. So some things are definitely only for fantasy. For me the fantasy is really about being fully accepted as a female. I do think I would totally be comfortable doing it with a gg while dressed though. :2c:

[annabellesmooth]

hi ive been bi gay straght im currntly in a relation with my (as a man)asian boyfrend 3yrs now, who knows but i dont feel comfortable in front of him...
befor that id visit gay bars that were crossgender ive been with many cd,tv,ts,and (some girls not many) i think im queer afew years ago i met a ts and we have become frends an she is the one who i first told about how i like to dress up. and has helped very much
an what excites me the most is dressing up an being with an other like me
(cross dressing femmine girly hot times) also with a femmne gay guy
so im what i am
in sydney looking for like minded frends
:daydreaming:
annabelle

[gagirl1]

i've read through many of these responses and almost all of them are spot-on. the point that i see them trying to make is: be yourself, who cares what others think. the hard part about bisexuality is figuring out how much you like the opposite sex, or if you even need to label yourself as such. i'm a member at alt.com (a website for bdsm, etc. kinda like adultfriendfinder and just as useless when it comes to dating) and read many testimonials, probably dozens, of men questioning their sexuality because they like anal stimulation. the best advice i read on there was this: forget the labels. you are who you are, and you don't need to explain that to people who don't understand, least of all to people who expect to understand your sexuality through a single word. there are so many different levels of sexuality that it's pointless to jumble them all up together in a single word. so, like so many others have said, be yourself, be confident, and forget those who don't accept it.

and oh yeah, this sounds like tons of fun:
"Ever since then the only time that I'm ever with a man is if I'm dressed as a woman.I like the feeling of a man lifting my skirt and having his own way!"

p.s. don't try the atm. it's gross. let's just say it involves recycling.

[deja true]

Er...atm...urban dictionary dot com....definitions 2 and 3 ...


Eeewww!

[Kate Simmons]

One of the biggest "problems" I see, especially with many crossdressers is that they are not in touch with their feelings. Feelings play a big part in this "game", particularly feelings in connection with another person. It's hard sometimes to separate the feelings from the femme identity, ergo the confusion.

There is also the "stigma" of being labeled gay by many who insist, sometimes too much so, that they are strictly heterosexual. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for another person, regardless of what genetic sex they are but the heart, the situation and the chemistry plays a big part as well and it doesn't always necessarily lead to consummating the feelings with sex. This is why getting in touch with ourself and addressing our feelings is so important because quite frankly it all comes off in the bedroom anyway if it goes that far and the important part is the feelings we have and not trying to fulfill any kind of role. While the implication may be scary for some, it is nonetheless the truth.

Sometimes we worry way too much about the definitions of society or what other people may think. The real way to true freedom is being true to ourself. I find it much easier anyway.:)

[Mona]

My early experiences were very much like Chrissietoo's. We were 11 and there was no molestation, we were both very willing. Now I find I am attracted to people who are sweet and intelligent, maybe have a sense of adventure and think I'm pretty!

[Emily Anderson]

I am fairly new to cross dressing but realised recently it all started when I was around 10yrs old and remember trying on a pair of my mums boots.Anyway thats a little about me. The reason for the post is because I have been speaking to a few girls since I have been dressing and very flattered that some of them wish to meetup.Some just want to meet and chat but some of them want something more from the meeting.This really excite`s me and I was told to take note of these feelings as they are likely to be my true thoughts.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.

Mandy,

It's great that you get that thrill out of being 'chased' by other CD's, and as a fantasy it can a very exciting thing. When it comes to reality, however, the story can be very different. You need to think very carefuly about what kind of experience you are looking for, what kind of role you want to play, and what kind of role you expect from your partner.

The truth is (and this is just IMHO), the labels that are attributed to heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are just that; labels. The most important thing about finding a partner (or having sex with a partner) is how you feel about the experience.

[annabellesmooth]

hi girls
its a funny world out there
im in a gay relationship, so same sex, sex is fine n fun for me
but when dressed up, and on the dance floor it a new and exiting world being flirted with by boys n other crossdresses, boys want to touch you up and have sex , and there are some things that straght boys will do... other cross dressers, usaly dance n flirt very sensualy ohh so femmne, the arousal level just keeps on getting higher an higher untill either is sooo hot
please enjoy live life n be yourself
ps when in a short dance skirt tuck in tight n firm both you n your frend will enjoy
xxx love annabelle:heehee:

[Carol123]

I havent had any offers yet....:cute::belly:

[Patti Girl]

Each of us is different.

The straight/gay/bi three level scale is poor. According to some studies, most people are somewhere between pure straight and pure gay.

Add to that our individual levels of trangender and it gets really confusing ;-)

Personally, I think there are a lot more bi men than we realize, many feel the need to hide and/or deny it. My wife and I used to go to swing clubs and it's amazing how many of the women are bi. Are men the same way but just afraid to admit it?

Myself, I could easily have sex with a man when I'm feeling femme and dressed that way. I'm not sure I'd want to kiss, however, just have good sex, LOL. I don't think I would get as turned on by a CD. I want to be treated as a woman.

Patti

[jayme357]

What an incredible question! I guess I have asked myself similar questions over the years, but the answers to this thread have caused me to rethink the whole process.

I have deluded myself into thinking that my sexual response has been totally tied to my feminine persona. I really believed that! But as I go back through my history I find that I have had four or five incidents of pure homosexual behavior that I had either forgotten about or repressed. The fact that in each case alcohol was a primary catalyst doesn't seem to resolve the issue. A dilema is that I adore women! There is nothing in the world like holding a warm, affectionate woman close and feeling the strength of her emotions. Being that woman for another man ain't bad either. Well, I have enjoyed both, and I feel that I am a better person for it, and certainly a happier one. Can't address the totality of such a significant issue in one post, but you gals have flat got me thinking from a whole new perspective!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I'm bi, but that came a long time before the CDing came into the picture...

As I teenager first experimenting with sex with others it was the guys who came along first and as soon a girls became avaialbe it was all the girls only for many many years....

Then I met a guy who I became strictly friends with until about 6 months after we met he told me he was gay. Then he gently and more in a kidding way started hitting on me....after about a year or so I finally gave in and got together with him and it was totally "tightened up" over the experience, but decided to give it a second try with him. Unfortunately it didn't happen with him. It was several years before another opportunity came along with some one and we tried it a few times but not the full experience.

Finally, several mores went by and while Iw as dating my wife she mentioned that she was bi and asked if I had ever been with a guy...and would I be interested in being with a guy...I said yes and yes and she set it up for me and it was the first time that I had the "female experience" with a guy. Extremely different from what I've ever had before and at that point I was "hooked".

The process evolved over many years for me and once I fully experienced being with a guy then it took me a while to really work it though my mind as to what I was experiencing and why...finally I came to the realization that for me, I had two sides to my self since I responded very differently to the male verses female experience...a male side (heterosexual) and a female side (gay) and that by definition made me bi-sexual. When I'm with a female I like to do male things and when I'm with a guy I take on the female role. But again cross dressing doesn't have anything to do with it...

You'll just have to get out there and take this journey and see where it takes you....More than likely though it takes a while to come to the final destination of defining who you are and what you want to be...easy decision and it being cut and dry it ain't!!!!

[MichelleNJ]

When I'm not dressed as a girl I never look at a guy sexuly but when I dress I find that I look at guys and girls, maybe as a guy I'm str8(?) and as girl I'm bi

[MsJanessa]

I am bisexual but I do try to resist labelling myself or anybody else by their sexuality---I only prefer sex with men while I'm dressed and only if I can "top" the man:dom:---I take pleasure from them, but don't reciprocate---with other CD/TGs?GGs its more a mutual thing although I still insist on being in charge. The hottest times I've had have been with CD/TGs. I couldn't tell from the initial post whether the poster wanted to meet men or other CDs--if other CDs you won't be disappointed,---My advice is to just make sure up front what you expect from the other person sexually and what you are willing to do in the same regard---that way neither of you will be disappointed.

[jeniinnylons]

I am bisexual but I do try to resist labelling myself or anybody else by their sexuality---I only prefer sex with men while I'm dressed and only if I can "top" the man:dom:---I take pleasure from them, but don't reciprocate---with other CD/TGs?GGs its more a mutual thing although I still insist on being in charge. The hottest times I've had have been with CD/TGs. I couldn't tell from the initial post whether the poster wanted to meet men or other CDs--if other CDs you won't be disappointed,---My advice is to just make sure up front what you expect from the other person sexually and what you are willing to do in the same regard---that way neither of you will be disappointed.
Where o where do we make a appointment? :hugs:

[MsJanessa]

Where o where do we make a appointment? :hugs:
send Me a pm darling and W/we can talk.

[not2late]

Thank you girls.....I have been thinking there was something wrong with (there still maybe but it is not this). When I'm dressed I feel that I desire men I want to please them and be pleased by them. I've only acted on this twice (once after more than a few drinks and the other while out hiking) I enjoyed both experiances (the sober one more) but carried around a ton of guilt.....thinking that there was something wrong with me.
These post have helped me realize that I'm OK , this doesn't meen I'm going to go out and become some kind of easy ****, but I think now I will be able (if it happens)to enjoy the chase, capture, and memories knowing I'm not some kind of freak!

Luv you girls.......thanks!

Sharon playing catchup

[MsJanessa]

I spent a bunch of time (too much time!) chasing down the law. It had to do with Cleveland Ohio specifically, and had to do with women wearing patent leather shoes in public (lest men see the reflection of the women's underwear in the shoes.) However, I went through the current Cleveland ordinances and could not find this law, so I think it must have been repealed by now.

Well what about thigh high stilletto heeled patent leather boots?

[foxyjj111]

i always thought i was hetero but recently went to a TG bar in san diego dressed as a guy (never been out as a girl except for halloween):sad: anyway i met a TG and we went back to her place. i had no idea what to expect but we had a great time (ill spare the details :heehee:). i havnt had another experience yet with a guy or TG but will prob do it again soon if i get the chance.
I guess to answer your question though. i def feel the urge to please a man moreso when i am dressed pretty.

[TommiTN]

The advice by several to have your partner wear protection should be heeded, but be aware that "protection" only protects against certain, and curable, STDs. The HIV virus is small enough to pass throught the pores of most condom materials. Think seriously before you do this, and then only with a partner you are certain is disease free.

[Raquel June]

The advice by several to have your partner wear protection should be heeded, but be aware that "protection" only protects against certain, and curable, STDs. The HIV virus is small enough to pass throught the pores of most condom materials. Think seriously before you do this, and then only with a partner you are certain is disease free.

That's ridiculous. HIV may be smaller than the pores in latex, but HIV will not magically pass through a barrier. The cells that HIV infects are too large to pass through latex, and bodily fluids themselves are too viscous to pass through latex, therefore regardless of its size HIV will not pass through latex. That's worse than the people saying oral is super-risky because there is some slight chance of you contracting HIV through your esophagus. At least that's theoretically possible (but studies regarding it are vague, and of the few people who contracted HIV orally, most admit that they had bleeding gums or oral lesions). Latex condoms (and now polyurethane, too) are by far the most recommended method of protecting yourself from HIV, and they work.

The closest thing to an intelligent counter-point I've found is:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a940506.html

Now herpes, that's something you can contract pretty easily with or without a condom, although a condom does help.

http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm


There are two primary ways that STDs can be transmitted. Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), as well as gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomoniasis – the discharge diseases – are transmitted when infected semen or vaginal fluids contact mucosal surfaces (e.g., the male urethra, the vagina or cervix). In contrast, genital ulcer diseases – genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid – and human papillomavirus are primarily transmitted through contact with infected skin or mucosal surfaces.

Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens.

Theoretical basis for protection. Condoms can be expected to provide different levels of protection for various sexually transmitted diseases, depending on differences in how the diseases are transmitted. Because condoms block the discharge of semen or protect the male urethra against exposure to vaginal secretions, a greater level of protection is provided for the discharge diseases. A lesser degree of protection is provided for the genital ulcer diseases or HPV because these infections may be transmitted by exposure to areas, e.g., infected skin or mucosal surfaces, that are not covered or protected by the condom.

...

AIDS is, by far, the most deadly sexually transmitted disease, and considerably more scientific evidence exists regarding condom effectiveness for prevention of HIV infection than for other STDs. The body of research on the effectiveness of latex condoms in preventing sexual transmission of HIV is both comprehensive and conclusive. In fact, the ability of latex condoms to prevent transmission of HIV has been scientifically established in “real-life” studies of sexually active couples as well as in laboratory studies.



edit: made it a little less cranky :)

[Deidra Cowen]

For most of my life I tried to be a normal straight guy...was married and all that. However all the way back to highschool I would get strong crushes or feelings of lust for certain guys but I supressed it.

Finally years later after getting divorced I started dressing. Met a 'date' who also dressed but was in boy mode when he met me at the bar. Ended up taking him home and it was literally fireworks going off in my brain as we did different 'stuff' that night! OMG! I knew right then I liked men and I liked being the female.

However...I am not a total bad girl...I honestly have sex probably once a month on average (less then when I was in boy mode!). I am very picky and guys have to meet me in public first before I will go to bed with them usually on a later night. I get more enjoyment from being dressed and going out on the town than I really do from sex...but everyonce in a while I do enjoy sex and probably would have more if I ever found a real boyfriend or even a Tgirl GF.

By the way I was lucky with that first guy, handsome, inshape very sweet...i have had some yucky experiences too so watch out! I also have been with two Tgirls for sex. One was great the other was horrible...so CDs have their ups and downs just like men do. I am a bottom so that rules out most CDs too.

If you experiment...make sure your partner and you wrap it up!!! It is not worth worrying if you caught something till you can go get tested (Aids and Hepitatus are the two STDs that scare the hell out of me..granted warts, herpes, etc are bad but they won't kill ya at least).

Good luck and I hope you figure this out for yourself.

[TommiTN]

Raquel, I'm sorry you're offended as I had no intent to offend anyone, only to offer a word of caution. I only made that statement because I care very much about everyone assciated with this forum.
And I concede my data may have been outdated. But, while condoms have improved over the last decade they are still not 100% effective in preventing HIV transmission.
From your support material:
Cecil replies:

Great letter, P. In more than 20 years of writing this column it's the first defense I've gotten of IV drug use, which to be honest I do think of as "inherently self-destructive." But I didn't say "queer men" were "inherently diseased." I said they were in a high-risk group, which no one disputes, and that while condoms significantly reduce the risk of infection, no one should think they will render you immune to AIDS. Discretion in your choice of sexual partners is a sound strategy regardless of your sexual orientation. That said, by all means use condoms as well.
As for the substantive issue you raise, it's true "the transmission of HIV by genital fluids most probably occurs through virus-infected cells since they can be present in larger numbers than free virus in the body fluids" (Jay Levy, "Pathogenesis of Human Immunodeficiency Virus Infection," Microbiological Reviews, March 1993--an exhaustive treatment of the subject). But it would be wrong to construe this to mean that HIV is transmitted only by cells. When I spoke to Dr. Levy he readily conceded that HIV may be transmitted by free virus as well. He did add that the viscosity of semen may (italics mine) hinder the passage of such virus through the latex barrier.
We could debate the technical stuff all day. My point is this: for whatever reason--pores, improper use, etc.--real-world research shows condoms don't offer 100 percent protection against AIDS. Maybe not, say the AIDS experts, but if you tell people that they'll use it as an excuse not to use condoms. To which I reply: the arguably greater danger is that they'll use condoms the way some weight watchers use Diet Coke--as an excuse to continue dangerous behavior (e.g., promiscuous sex, not gay sex per se). If that's "anti-eros," as some people seem to think, too bad. A friend of mine who died of AIDS attributed his illness to a wild weekend he'd once had. It's hardly anti-sex to wish he'd stayed home


I am by no means anti-sex; Lord knows I've had my share. My point is that a fella named Murphy lives in small percentages such as the 1% or so of defective condoms that get past quality control. 1% equals 100% to persons affected by them. A prudent person will be sure of their partners.

Peace?

[Raquel June]

I am by no means anti-sex; Lord knows I've had my share. My point is that a fella named Murphy lives in small percentages such as the 1% or so of defective condoms that get past quality control. 1% equals 100% to persons affected by them. A prudent person will be sure of their partners.

Peace?

Sorry for sounding mean. I just don't like hearing people going on about, "Sex is always risky, and the only way to be sure is to abstain altogether." It's usually coming from religious people that have the agenda that nobody should be having sex. The problem is that when people start to believe it, it doesn't keep them from having sex. They just think, "Well, it's a risk no matter what, and they're getting pretty good at treating it, so I guess I'll do what I'm gonna do." And if you scare people like that, they'll probably wait to have sex till they're too loaded and too horny to have any chance of doing it safely.

The fact is that almost every time someone gets HIV it's because of not using a condom (or not using it correctly) or IV drug use. You make sure the condom is on when it goes in and you make sure the condom is on when it comes out. Do that, and don't share needles, and your chances of contracting anything are exponentially smaller. Sure, you just might get HIV, but if you practice safe sex the chances of that are significantly lower than your chances of getting killed by a drunk driver on the way to work.

Think back to when you went through puberty. Maybe not so much anymore, but a lot of people believed they were going to go to hell for masturbating. I know people told me it was a possibility. But I did it anyway. Telling people not to have sex is about like telling a kid he'll go blind from playing with himself. It does more harm than good.

And get tested. It doesn't take 3 days to get results back anymore. It's free and it takes about 15 minutes.

[becky9300]

My first time was about 10 years ago with another cd. I find myself attracted to other cds. I think its just the whole fem thing because to look at a guy regularly there is nothing there