uninvited guests

[karinels]

just reading through some of the threads and replys, i felt like sharing this. i am single, i live alone, and i dress as a woman most of the time when at home. i am not out by any means, but, there are a few people who know i dress. two of these people happen to be my parents, who drop by almost monthly unannounced, putting me in the worst situation i know. do i change and answer the door? or do i sit still, not making a sound untill they leave? i hate when they do that, but i feel guilty the times i dont answer cause they are getting up in years, and i dont ever want to think to myself that if i only woulda changed and answered the door, i could have had one more day with them. i hate the selfishness this lifestyle creates, but i couldnt be myself if it wasnt for these desires, either. such a pickle.

[Stephanie Scott]

Perhaps the fact that they "know" and yet drop by unannounced anyway is a sign that they could care a less how you're dressed and just want to be with their son? Maybe you could just try asking them, since they know, if when they show up unannounced, it would bother them if you answered the door en femme? If it bothers them, then they will call first. If not, they'll just come!

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

Perhaps the fact that they "know" and yet drop by unannounced anyway is a sign that they could care a less how you're dressed and just want to be with their son? Maybe you could just try asking them, since they know, if when they show up unannounced, it would bother them if you answered the door en femme? If it bothers them, then they will call first. If not, they'll just come!

^I second this.

What have you got to lose.

[Kris]

i am not out by any means, but, there are a few people who know i dress. two of these people happen to be my parents, i hate the selfishness this lifestyle creates, but i couldnt be myself if it wasnt for these desires, either. such a pickle.

I am wondering if this was a typo.. if they know you dress, then what is the big deal? If they know you dress and still come over unannounced, they obviously don't mind. If they only come over once a month, then it shouldn't be a big deal.

If this WAS a typo, why don't you talk to them and tell them that you have a new "friend" and that you would appreciate some notice before they arrive. I am sure they would understand that.

Good luck~!

[CD Susan]

I too live alone and am dressed most of the time. I hate it when people drop by unannounced. I live in a rural setting and find it very intrusive when people do this to me. I have told everyone I know to call in advance and let me know if they are coming. I tell them that I don't want them to drive a long distance to my home not knowing if they will find me at home or not. Actually I do not want to be interrupted if I am dressing but the real reason does not matter. Now days almost everyone has a cell phone so they can very easily call to let you know they are stopping by. This is only a common courtesy and everyone should understand this. There have been times when I have not answered a knock at the door because I was not prepared to be with someone else at the moment. I have never felt bad about having to do this but have thought how rude and inconsiderate it is for someone to just show up at my door unannounced. I would never do this to anyone but then maybe I am more considerate than most people are.

[TSchapes]

If they know you dress and still come over unannounced, they obviously don't mind.

Ah, an assumption here. They may not realize how often you dress. They may think it's just a night-time party thing. My mom knows, and I've told her if she does not want a surprise, then please call ahead. It's just common courtesy to ask them for this little favor!

Keep in mind my wife knows, and she doesn't want to see me enfemme either.

Tracy

[karinels]

i should have mentioned in my thread that even though my parents know i dress, they havent seen me dress (except the time mom walked in on me when i was 14 and literally freaked out). i know i should tell them that i may be en-femme when they want to visit, and suggest that they accept whoever answers the door, but its not all that easy to do when youve been told your entire life that its wrong to want to be someone other than you appear to be. then again, maybe its about time we showed the world who we really are. heck, im so confused with everything i guess its just me.

[Deborah_UK]

If you don't want your parents to see you dressed, or your parents don't want to see you dress then do they tell you that they called but you were out of the house?

If so, why not say to them, I know you've been to the house a few times and I've not been there - to save a journey why not phone me if you're coming over, if there's no reply then I'm not there it'll save you a journey.

If you are in - then it gives you time to change (if you have to).

[Tammy298]

i should have mentioned in my thread that even though my parents know i dress, they havent seen me dress (except the time mom walked in on me when i was 14 and literally freaked out).


You should at least say something to your mom. Just tell her that sometimes you're dressed as the "other you" and you don't want to offend them by answering the door. Tell her you'd feel better if they called ahead. You might even want to tell her you really miss seeing them and they are more important then the "other you".
I'd be proactive about it since in years to come, you'll regret those missed vists. I lost my mom when I was very young and both my dad & step-mom when in my teens. I've missed having parents my entire adult life.

[Alana65]

Perhaps the fact that they "know" and yet drop by unannounced anyway is a sign that they could care a less how you're dressed and just want to be with their son? Maybe you could just try asking them, since they know, if when they show up unannounced, it would bother them if you answered the door en femme? If it bothers them, then they will call first. If not, they'll just come!

I agree with Stephanie. It would be common courtesy for them to call first.........that's how it's done in my family. My mom knows I dress, and she ALWAYS calls beforehand (if they're going to be in the area and might stop by).

[MJ]

The Best way to stop that is stay dressed . invite them in have fellowship with them .

i guarantee they will call after that ..

[Jammie]

Hi Grils
If your parents know maybe you just let then im and let them see you if they didnt se you yet,or give them some picture so they can and you would let them in
Jammie

[Raquel June]

Well, there are a few solutions that'd probably work:

1) Just tell them to call first. You can come up with a tactful way to do that (or a lie) ... maybe say you were half-asleep and woke up right as they were leaving ... or you were depressed and didn't want to come to the door ... and say they should really just call first to see if you're there. But this kinda avoids them being confronted with the dressing. Dunno if that's a good or bad thing.



2) Tell them the truth. Tell them they showed up when you were wearing a skirt and you didn't want to freak them out so you didn't answer the door.



3) Just don't worry about it and let them in next time. Then I'm sure they'll remember to call after that. Of course, you might spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for your mother's heart attack...

[Sharon]

When my parents dropped in unannounced after I settled into my first apartment, I told them flat out that they need to call and ask to come over first. That settled that.

[Jeremie]

I would be horrified if this happened to me. If your parents are like mine... they are very old fashioned and calling isn't required before a friendly visit.

Hope you find an answer.

[Raquel June]

I would be horrified if this happened to me. If your parents are like mine... they are very old fashioned and calling isn't required before a friendly visit.

Hope you find an answer.

That's not necessarily old fashioned. My parents think I'm a pervert and a heathen. A lot of parents tend to worry about things and actually have a need to drop in on you to see you in your "natural environment" and check up on you.

So I dropped in unannounced on them a few times. Now they call first.

[Roberta Marie]

It sounds to me like you need to have a discussion or two with your parents. Have you ever sat down and talked to them adult to adult, as to why you crossdress? Have you ever asked them why they object? Or have you asked them why they don't want to see you dressed. Have you answered their questions, asked or unasked, about being transexual or gay (always the first two questions)?

Parents can be hard to talk to, not just about CDing, but about a lot of subjects. They seem to always think of us as their children, we always tend to see them the way they were when we were 14. But, hey, Buess what. Both you and your parents have grown a lot since you were 14 (or 10).

Communication is key in any relationship. They know already, the hard part is done. The very least that you can get out of a conversation is a better understanding of who your parents are, and they of you. And maybe an agreement that if they still don't want to see you dressed, that they will call before stopping over.

As a parent of adult kids, it always amazes me as to the misconceptions that my kids have about me. I wonder if, by showing up unexpectedly, your parents aren't reaching out to better get you to know them and for them to get to know you better.

Just my $.019 worth.

Grace,
Bobbi


just reading through some of the threads and replys, i felt like sharing this. i am single, i live alone, and i dress as a woman most of the time when at home. i am not out by any means, but, there are a few people who know i dress. two of these people happen to be my parents, who drop by almost monthly unannounced, putting me in the worst situation i know. do i change and answer the door? or do i sit still, not making a sound untill they leave? i hate when they do that, but i feel guilty the times i dont answer cause they are getting up in years, and i dont ever want to think to myself that if i only woulda changed and answered the door, i could have had one more day with them. i hate the selfishness this lifestyle creates, but i couldnt be myself if it wasnt for these desires, either. such a pickle.

[Sinthia]

Ah, an assumption here. They may not realize how often you dress. They may think it's just a night-time party thing. My mom knows, and I've told her if she does not want a surprise, then please call ahead. It's just common courtesy to ask them for this little favor!

Keep in mind my wife knows, and she doesn't want to see me enfemme either.

Tracy

I agree. An assumption. I think it would be better to talk with your Mom and see what she would think if they came over and saw you wearing a dress. Then you can explain how you do not want to embarrass them, but still would like to do as you wish. That way, all feelings are spared.

[TracyH]

When my parents dropped in unannounced after I settled into my first apartment, I told them flat out that they need to call and ask to come over first. That settled that.

When I had a dorm in the military, my friends would come by and walk right in the door. One day I heard them coming and quickly tore off my pants. As they walked in I stood there proudly and said, "Hey, this is why we invented knocking"

Afterward, they did exactly that.

Please note: That strategy does not work when your First Sergeant is doing room inspections.

[Nicole Erin]

I think when a kid gets his first place, the parents do have a tendancy to want to drop by unannounced a lot. My dad used to do that. I guess it is natural, like they can't accept the fact that the kids have left the nest.
Yeah tho obviously tell the if they could call first. But in any case, it does get better when you have been on your own for a while [not sure how long.]



So I dropped in unannounced on them a few times. Now they call first.

You didn't like, catch them "doing it" did you? :eek:

[Jilmac]

My SO knows I dress, in fact she's been very encouraging about it. By encouraging I mean that she told me to go for it when I told her that I wanted to get my ears pierced, and she has also told me of clothing bargains at various stores. However, she's not ready to see me dressed. She knows that she is welcome here any time, but I told her straight out that if she comes unanounced she could find me fully en femme. Now she will always call to let me know when she'll be arriving, and that gives me time to undo myself. Try telling your parents that you will be en femme and leave it up to them to decide what they want to do. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[victoriamwilliams1]

Perhaps the fact that they "know" and yet drop by unannounced anyway is a sign that they could care a less how you're dressed and just want to be with their son? Maybe you could just try asking them, since they know, if when they show up unannounced, it would bother them if you answered the door en femme? If it bothers them, then they will call first. If not, they'll just come!

I agree

[lisalove]

I'm just going to second what CD Susan said, word for word. Because that is what I would have wrote.

[susanmichelle]

I too live alone and am dressed most of the time. I hate it when people drop by unannounced. I live in a rural setting and find it very intrusive when people do this to me. I have told everyone I know to call in advance and let me know if they are coming. I tell them that I don't want them to drive a long distance to my home not knowing if they will find me at home or not. Actually I do not want to be interrupted if I am dressing but the real reason does not matter. Now days almost everyone has a cell phone so they can very easily call to let you know they are stopping by. This is only a common courtesy and everyone should understand this. There have been times when I have not answered a knock at the door because I was not prepared to be with someone else at the moment. I have never felt bad about having to do this but have thought how rude and inconsiderate it is for someone to just show up at my door unannounced. I would never do this to anyone but then maybe I am more considerate than most people are.

I totally agree CD Susan, for me it doesn't matter that i'm dressed or what as almost everyone knows that I crossdress and all even the neighbors hell half the complex where I live. I dont answer the door sometimes as I may be talking on the phone with someone, working on a project, watching a good movie that I dont want to stop watching or just want to be by myself. I do tell prople to call before hand too but most as i say know i dress so thats not the point. Just be courteous and call first so we can be preparted or whatever the case may be.

If your parents know then just get past the shyness and stay dressed. If they know and you havent had any problems then it shouldn't matter. They just want to visit with their Son or Daughter depending on how your dressed. Good luck to you in your decision.

[iwearstockings]

Yesterday(sunday) Myself and my SO were watching TV on the sofa and I was fully dressed up for the first toime in a couple of weeks and her sister came round out of the blue.. I had to grab my drab clothes in a bundle and totter to the bathroom to change and clean off my makeup.. dammit, took a wonderful hour to get dressed up as well.. and a hurried 15 mins to undress!