My Spirits , My life....

[eileen1969]

" Its takes a lot to walk in my shoes! even in my high heels!..."

Shame, is what I felt...and whats sad? its not intended to be mine.
The effects of what others say, think and feel about me comes from
Family , freinds and other people.
I've never asked to be understood nor for you to understand my life...?
Underneath my clothes, is there anymore one person can see other than.
Society built upon catagories and rules of what should be?
"Women are women and men should be men...."
God creates "2 Spirited", "Twin Spirited" for a reason as well a purpose....
I was givin a precious gift and intuition....
A special gift, only I know within as well My Creator! and only selected few other whom
share this gift....
I once ranand hid this gift in fear, shame, guilt and pain.
For the sake of others perceptions, thoughts and opinions...
I hid her well, being a man hurted her...not anymore.
Eileen done her time of being judged and condemned by countless others, "God knows who they are!"
Whats even worse? I done this to her too....
My name is Eileen~ Rons twin spirit!
I have all traites of being a women....a true gift indeed.
2 very important dynamics keeps me 2 spirited....
Women carry these and always will since the dawn of time,
Moon time and giving birth, I cannot do those 2 special aspects....
I never will, in this lifetime! ;)
This is how I am 2 Spirited~ male/female....can you see my gift I carry within?
" All My Relations"
Eileen Julie Victoria Amber~Lynn :p xoxo

[Emerald]

Hi Eileen,

My name is Emerald, I too am 2 spirit. Slightly more southern, I'm Cherokee. I understand what you're going through and what you've been through, I know the feelings that you're having very well. Society as it is today won't/can't understand the Native American side of 2 spirit. It's up to people like you and I not to get them to understand or accept, but at least acknowledge the fact that we do exist.

The Creator made us to be more, with special gifts and understandings. We like all people have to take into account the fact that the lives that we live are dictated by the choices we make.

I personally, as a 2 spirit, and hopefully you, won't let society rule my life. My life is mine to do with what I wish. Only the Creator can change this, not society, not people, not friends or family.

In closing I wish you well, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Just know that there are others of us out there, and in here, that understand.

Be safe, be well.
Emerald

[Teddie]

Hi you two,

I was wongering if you two fall more into the relm of the Berdache. (Yes, I know it's a is demeaning term) "native cultures seem to embrace the notion of an opposite gender identity, different from one's anatomical sex WITHOUT any implied sexual preference."

Here are some links on Berdache:

http://www.nu-woman.com/berdache.htm
http://www.geocities.com/westhollywood/stonewall/3044/berdache.html
http://www.bcholmes.org/tg/berdache.html

And, the first information that I ran across on the Two-Spirit made it appear to be more gay or lesbian. But, then on digging deeper I found information that it's a more acceptiable term " Indigenous Nations across North America have their own names for their lesbian, gay and transgender Two-Spirit relatives."

Some links on Two-Spirit:

http://www.nwtwospiritsociety.org/history.html
http://www.androphile.org/preview/Culture/NativeAmerica/amerindian.htm

[eileen1969]

ty girls and I really do apprecaite everything thus far and I am looking into more education with not only my life but to better understand! ;) :)

[wilma]

Eileen, I love what you have written, it is obviously from the hart that you have spoken. In reading your words I see a common theme we all have battled with and that is the general stereotype soceity has placed on male and female. I decided long ago I could not change the world and the most important thing is to truly accept myself for who I am. To hell with what others think. I can love myself and that is the first step to acceptance by others. LOL Wilma

[eileen1969]

Eileen, I love what you have written, it is obviously from the hart that you have spoken. In reading your words I see a common theme we all have battled with and that is the general stereotype soceity has placed on male and female. I decided long ago I could not change the world and the most important thing is to truly accept myself for who I am. To hell with what others think. I can love myself and that is the first step to acceptance by others. LOL Wilma
ty hun! and I think about what I do post and I understand that I am not the only one to go through societies ( I like to call it!~sadness but true!) I was walking down the road today and I felt really lonely! is that not sad or what?
I do see a lot of love out there and I honestly appreciate seeing the gift of love! But when is it my turn for God sake! :confused: seriously now! I have been through the gutter to many times and I have waited patiently? :rolleyes: omg My heart believes in love and Love does not have a gender! :eek: lol I sit here alone, utterly alone wishing to have that someone special! a deep sigh within~ This is something a bit off topic but very relavent to my very alone life! :( I PRAY and just keep on trudging my very lonely path as I smile cause I know that this too shall pass! as it always does! So, hurry up God I am not going to be young forever! lol Been there done thatt, so lets stop wasting time! omg Now I am trying to hurry love up! lol so hurry already! later peeps love Ronxxxohohoh

[eileen1969]

Your Hidden Power Is: Earthly


You are sort of childish yet brave. If you get pissed off you become a very strong fighter. You hate seeing the earth die and you use your special powers to save the earth from becoming hell. You are loved by many and hated by few but you only despise those that try and destroy your wonderful earth.

Gem Stone:Emerald Eye Color:Lime Green Hair Color:Brown with green on the bottom tips and it is shoulder length flipped out.

Quote:I tear my heart open. I sew my self shut. My weakness is that i care to much. And our scars remind us that the past is real. I tear my heart open just to feel.
Paste this code into your web page to show off your result to others:

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/strawbrrywishes23/1103919700_turesearth.jpg" border="0" alt="HASH(0x8abef9c)"><br><Center>Your Hidden Power Is:<br><b>Earthly</b></center><br><br>You are sort of childish yet brave. If you get<br>pissed off you become a very strong fighter.<br>You hate seeing the earth die and you use your<br>special powers to save the earth from becoming<br>hell. You are loved by many and hated by few<br>but you only despise those that try and destroy<br>your wonderful earth.<br><br><b>Gem Stone:</b>Emerald <b>Eye Color:</b>Lime<br>Green <b>Hair Color:</b>Brown with green on the<br>bottom tips and it is shoulder length flipped<br>out.<br><br><b>Quote:</b>I tear my heart open. I sew my<br>self shut. My weakness is that i care to much.<br>And our scars remind us that the past is real.<br>I tear my heart open just to feel.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/strawbrrywishes23/quizzes/What%20Is%20Your%20True%20Hidden%20Power%3F%20.%3A %3ABeautiful%20Anime%20Pics%3A%3A./"> <font size="-1">What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

[Milla]

Eileen1969 , Im at a loss , really I am . I`m so new accepting this other side , I`m still exploring who and what I am to . What you wrote , wow :confused: I think i might be getting it , not sure , I might be wrong .

[eileen1969]

Eileen1969 , Im at a loss , really I am . I`m so new accepting this other side , I`m still exploring who and what I am to . What you wrote , wow :confused: I think i might be getting it , not sure , I might be wrong .
I really do appreciate you girl! and you know love, for me it took a very long time to be free! and My only suggestion is that listen to your heart and connect it with your mind! And you will know deep within! I feel my soft femenine side of me everday girl! :eek: lol And girl welcome to a much prettier life hun! Explore on I say there a lot to learn everyday! take care n stay sexy Eileenxxxooo ;)

[eileen1969]

" Its takes a lot to walk in my shoes! even in my high heels!..."

Shame, is what I felt...and whats sad? its not intended to be mine.
The effects of what others say, think and feel about me comes from
Family , freinds and other people.
I've never asked to be understood nor for you to understand my life...?
Underneath my clothes, is there anymore one person can see other than.
Society built upon catagories and rules of what should be?
"Women are women and men should be men...."
God creates "2 Spirited", "Twin Spirited" for a reason as well a purpose....
I was givin a precious gift and intuition....
A special gift, only I know within as well My Creator! and only selected few other whom
share this gift....
I once ranand hid this gift in fear, shame, guilt and pain.
For the sake of others perceptions, thoughts and opinions...
I hid her well, being a man hurted her...not anymore.
Eileen done her time of being judged and condemned by countless others, "God knows who they are!"
Whats even worse? I done this to her too....
My name is Eileen~ Rons twin spirit!
I have all traites of being a women....a true gift indeed.
2 very important dynamics keeps me 2 spirited....
Women carry these and always will since the dawn of time,
Moon time and giving birth, I cannot do those 2 special aspects....
I never will, in this lifetime! ;)
This is how I am 2 Spirited~ male/female....can you see my gift I carry within?
" All My Relations"
Eileen Julie Victoria Amber~Lynn :p xoxo

My life is growing and I was went to a womens meeting today! I really never thought of anything about this, until I got there! After awhile my man thoughts creeped in just a little bit.I was part man, in a womens meeting, my first thought was repect this gift of being able to be there. The true gift of being a women is being with them, this is by far not only a blessing! For myself! The empowerment of being a women and being able to tap into my source of my female intuitions. I cannot desribe such a feeling! a few of them kinda klicked! that I was and still dressed up! Thats a beautiful gift from my Creator! I thank him for making me the women that I am! and I thank you all from the bottem of my heart to all of yours! Eileen Julie Victoria Amber-Lynn. :) ;)

[eileen1969]

I have been here for a short while and I think of all the threads posted, I pretty much have my life in a very balanced cycle. I am a dude today! lol and ya know I thought of where I once was! I lived a very secret life with my female side and today I do not have to deprive myself of being a man or women. I can be either! I always listen to my heart and how I feel inside! Do I feel fem today or like a dude? I once lived a double life and that was very devastating for me and very unhealthy. Its about learning balance and happy with who I am not so much as what I wear. I thought about going to a deeper level, surgery and I gave some thought of having breasts. I really put my respect for all those who go through surgery.
I do not know what my future holds for me and to be honest, I am just grateful to be! nothing more, or less....just to be in my moment as a man that I am or my very feminine side of me is what I am truely blessed to have! I thank God for Creating me! As I continue my journey not destination! I am learning about my sexuality, my preferances, as well my true identity! day by day! take care n stay sexi Ronxxxooo ;) :p :)