How do you tell you significant other?

[kdalt2000]

I have been thinking of telling my girlfriend my little secret. How do I break the news to her?

[sissystephanie]

Do you love her deeply, and does she love you the same way? If so, simply tell her how much you love her and that you will always be her man, but that you do like to wear women's clothes. You will have to convince her that you are not "gay," or anything like that! You might start off by asking her if she has ever read anything about crossdressing, and if so what did she think about it!

I can only say, after a little over 49 very happy years of marriage to my dear late wife who was told before we were married and supported me all along, that the truth up front works best. Otherwise, your relationship is based on a lie! If you want the relationship to be long lasting, keep the lies out of it!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, but man underneath!

[AKAMichelle]

I can only give someone one piece of advice.

Figure out first who you really are. Then tell her. I waited 20+ years to tell my wife and put it off. As a result, I hurt my wife and missed out on a lot of years which could have been much different. I might not of had to purge so many times. :D

If you don't tell her, then remember she will feel betrayed one day when she does learn because you didn't trust her. No woman wants to be tricked into marriage and then find out her husband wears a dress. If she means anything to you, then tell.

[Staci K]

Only you will know the right way/time to tell her as only you really know her.

Myself, I introduced forced fem into our role play. After a while when my wife became accustome to it, I came out to her. Now we are closer than ever. So many stresses for both her & I have been lifted.

When I first told her I was hesitant that she was really OK with it. I felt like I was just waiting for it to blow up in my face. But after many heart to heart conversations, I'm finally comfortable to freely dress with her.

I associate myself as being bigendered; I am equally comfortable portraying my femme side or a masculine side. For my wife, she feels she gets the best of both worlds - she still has a husband to treat her like a lady, and has a new best friend to go shopping with, get manicures, or share make-up tips. She says that now that I'm out in the open it's nice to go shopping for clothes without me tapping my foot, "Would you just decide already?!" Instead I get to browse the racks with her and pick out cute outfits for me.

Also she no longer feels guilty spending money for that dress she'll only wear once in a blue moon, but its so cute and just have to have it - cause I'm the same way.

So as you can see there are ways to present this as a positive thing to you SO; I have found it has caused us to grow even closer.

Take care, and I hope she is open minded enough to see the positives when you come out to her.

(((((Hugs)))))))

Nicole

[Ruth]

A good point from Michelle. Get it sorted out exactly what CDing means to you and where you think you are going with it. Otherwise when you tell, you may find yourself putting into words things you didn't know you were going to say. And there will be enough surprises in the room without you getting one.
Telling has to be the right thing, though it is definitely not the easy thing to do.