Harden up

[rachel_rachel]

I've been wanting to do it for ages but have never had the opportunity to do so due to different things going on at different times.... Finally last friday night i decided to give it a crack. I got fully dressed, made up, took some photos packed my wallet and phone into my handbag and got into my car and went for a drive!

Well it didn't take long for the nerves to settle in either, I drive a car that is fairly recognisable in the neighbourhood and is far from being in a roadworthy condidtion if i was to be pulled over for any reason. (tail light out or something)
The tyres are hardly in good condition, maybe for a racetrack they're ok as they have bugger all tread on them.....


Well anyway, i was intending to go a little further into town as there is street lights and traffic lights that i'd have to stop at and around so i was feeling brave. That new found confidence didn't last long though.... I turned the corner into where i wanted to go to and i was surprised to see that there was an abnormal amount of cars around for a friday night there so i kept driving.. was going to go around the next corner and yep, same again.. So headed straight up the road, did a U turn got out of the car and walked around the car so as to hear the tap of my heels on the raod got back into the car and went home again.

The hardest part of this when i got back was that my next door neighbour was home and she had visitors and i had to get out of the car to open the gates, then park the car close the gates and walk to the door. The worst part and the part that worries the most all of the time is that we have a sensor light that nearly lights up the whole bloody street!


That's what i mean about hardening up... i lost all of my confidence and just played in front of the camera fro the rest of the night and drowned my sorrows with my friend Jack Daniels.

I tried to keep this from my wife (well sort of) but the next morning she came in and said " you went out last night didn't you?" She could tell because i had to move a heap of stuff from out of the way of my car.
My reply was "yes i did, but did'nt go too far 'cos i was too scared"

[DeeDeeB]

You shouldn't beat up on yourself too hard. It sounds like you took a good first step, which is more than many do, or even want to. If going out is really important to you, then I'm sure you'll try again when you are ready. Personally, I've only been out on Halloween, to work (we have a costume party with prizes and I win every time I dress en-femme), and a couple of parties. I know what you mean about the neighbors too. I often feel that if I could just get to the end of our road I'd be home free, but I can't seem to make that first tenth of a mile. Mostly just enjoy what you can do, and don't feel pressure to do more than you really want to. And congrats on taking the first step.

Dee :doll:

[JoAnnDallas]

rachel_rachel........going out for a dress and drive is about the safest way to got out. If at night, even better because no one can see you clearly and the car is a coccoon of protection. I would not worry too much about you neighbor, sense no one seem to be looking out a window or was outside.

I remember the first time I got all dressed up and went out in the daylight. I did not even do a dress and drive. We lived on a cornor lot and I walked out of the back door, up the side walk, then the front walk to the mailbox, got the mail, then up the walk to the front door. The whole time, my heartrate was sky high, my hands were shaking, and was so scared I could hardly breath. Then I almost had a heart attact when a car came down the street and pass by me. It took me over 30 minutes after I got back in the house to calm down. Once calm, it hit me, I had done it and nothing bad happen and then I got real happy. Each time after that got easier and easier. I now go shopping, eating out, moives, and etc, fully en fem and enjoy everytime I go out.

It will be get better and easier.

[Jamie14]

Sounds like a successful trip overall though!!! There is nothing like the sound of YOUR high heels on the sidewalk. I love that sound -it feels powerful. Hope you have many more successful trips out. You should be more daring!!! :battingeyelashes:......Jamie

[Nicole Erin]

Isn't it funny how it seems like there are 10 times as many people out when one is nervous?

But one thing - if you are ever worried about the neighborhood kids seeing you in your cdar, you shouldn't worry. As I told one of my CD friends here in my town - kids never watch for cars anyways, that is why it is up to the driver to watch out.

I would have picked a more fitting title to the thread though, this could give some of our other sisters a bit of inspiration and ideas for a small first outing.
Well, at least you got out, and more adventures will follow . :D
Erin

[vikki2020]

Rachel, why would you loose your confidence? You got dressed, went out,got back safely,right? Thats a great first step!Didn't it feel good as you were driving around?Maybe a little more planning before the next outing, like turning off the light before you leave.Each time gets easier. Nice to hear you know my ol' buddy, Mr. Daniels! He's really a pretty good guy, as long as you send him home before he stays to long!!:drink:

[rachel_rachel]

Thanks for the replies... Maybe i should clarify something.

I've been out in the car once before, New years eve 2 years ago i had my wife 2 kids and my best mate in the car I was fully dressed as we were going to a fancy dress party.

After that party at about 4.30am we had to leave and drive completly the other way down to my parents house so as i could put the bins out. (that trip was certainly not planned, I'd forgoten to do it earlier that day)

The click of my heels up the driveway at that hour of the morning and knowing full well the neighbour was a shift worker and happened to be pretty good friends with my parents made it even more nerve racking. That was the first and only time i'd done anything like it before, until last friday night.

So that means it had been near on 18 months since my last adventure, hence the reason why i was so nervous. Also the reason for the title of the thread.

[tricia_uktv]

Brilliant, well done and don't beat yourself up. Its about developing inch by inch and by doing so you will harden up, promise,

[DonnaT]

It gets easier the more you do it. Nothing wrong with hardening up slowly, as it could prevent cracking.

[TxKimberly]

This is EXACTLY how I got started, and with the very same feelings of fear. If you want to get out, you will get used to this and it will become old hat. Everything you did that night, from taking the drive, to be scared, to returning to your house in disappointment, is something I have also done. i would also hazard a guess that MOST of us here have gone through something very much like this. It's all part of the progression so don't let it get you down. For that matter, you really need to remind yourself that regardless of how it ended, you DID make progress. You DID get outside, you DID go for a drive, you DID walk around the car and to the gate, and you DID join the world.
YOU DID MAKE PROGRESS! Congrats!

[Di]

Going out isn't everyones cuppa tea.There are no rules or competition. Just be you:hugs: But if you still really want to go I would make my car roadworthy.( removing that bit of added stress) If that isn't possible stash a guy emergency bag...guy clothes ect and something to remove makeup in case you get a flat ect.

[Nicki B]

Rach, why don't you try and make it all a bit less nerve-wracking on yourself? :strugglin

Firstly, make sure the car is road-legal, whether you're dressing or not.. ;)

Can you borrow something a bit less conspicuous, maybe your other half's? Try going somewhere which is not on your doorstep, then dressing - maybe in a motel?

Scaring yourself witless doesn't do it for most of us - unless it's the adrenaline you're getting high on? :D

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Rachel it sounds like the outing was successful. I was curious why you were feeling bad upon your return. Also, its no secret with your wife. Thats a plus. Just be careful. If your handy, try to get the car in proper working order before your next drive. Tailights, turn signals, tire contidtion, and the like can prevent breaking down, or getting pulled over by the authorities. Also, take some boy clothing,and makeup remover with you if the worst does happen. But otherwise enjoy!!

[Sinthia]

I started going out at about 4 am walking around the block. At first, when I would see a car coming, I would hide. Then I realized that the people driving by were probably paying attention to their driving and not some guy in a dress. So I eventually quit worrying about it. One morning, as I was about to cross the street to my house, a neighbor lady came out of her side yard with the trash can and saw me and said 'nice skirt'! So I have not worried about it since. Most people do not notice what a person is wearing, and if they do, will not comment on it.