why?

[Dee Jay]

Tonight, My wife and I were snuggled up on the sofa watching television.
I was dress in mid length black skirt, black and white top, fisnets and small heels.
I looked down at myself and smiled.
I then asked my wife "Wife do I want to dress like this? Why does this feel so much better than jeans and a T-shirt"

Her answer was, "It's OK, I'm fine with it, I actually quite like it. You are so much more relaxed. If it makes you happy, then I'm happy"

This didn't answer my question, but made me feel great.

So can anyone answer the question(s)?

Why do I/we enjoy dressing a females?
Why does it feel better/easier/more comfortable.

I am a lot more relaxed when dressed. I'm more comfortable when dressed. I feel "right" when dressed, but I have no idea why.

When dressing was a sexual thing for me, I enjoyed it because it was risky and exciting. I enjoyed it because the clothes were usually fetish based and very sexy.

These dyas dressing isn't (always) a sexual thing, so why do I enjoy it so?
Why do I get the thrill of looking down and seeing MY legs in a skirt and fishnets?

I'm a typical hetrosexual male in all other respects. I have no wants or desires to be with another man.
I have no desire to become female.
I don't have nor want a female name.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not ashamed of being a crossdresser.
I don't hate myself for enjoying it. I don't want to stop. I just want to know why I enjoy dressing the way I do.

Can any of you spread some light on this?
I'd love to hear your views and opinions.

Thank You!

DJ

[jessielee]

dera Dee Jay,
i tend to analyze things too much. i read studies regarding young males with absent or emotionally unavailable fathers or who were raised by females and i find it interesting. yet didn't dress until recently.
though always wished i had been born female.
at this juncture, something in me is rebeling against my analytical self;
it says, roll with it girl,
it feels like who i am. even if i can't dress often or go out, i feel much more integrated now and no longer beating up on myself.
this is not to say "if it feels good, do it."
but it feels right.
and good. wish i had support at home which you enjoy.
all my best wishes,
jessie

[Deborah Jane]

So can anyone answer the question(s)?

Why do I/we enjoy dressing a females?
Why does it feel better/easier/more comfortable.
DJ

That is the $1,000,000 question most of us would like to see answered!!!
Like you Dee Jay, i,m happy with who i am, but would just like to know why we do it.

[docrobbysherry]

Except that I find dressing; exciting, stimulating, mind clearing, and I complete turn on. Not relaxing! For relaxation, I turn on the tube or read.

[TSchapes]

I become happier and happier. This happiness has spilled over into my everyday life and I feel more alive. Like Jessie, I've analyzed it in the past only to give myself grief, self-loathing, and depression. So enjoy, don't think about it, think of it as a gift from whatever god you believe in and enjoy!
:cheer:

I agree with the following, except the father stuff does not apply, my father loved me dearly, even after I told him about my crossdressing. God bless his soul.


dera Dee Jay,
i tend to analyze things too much. ...

at this juncture, something in me is rebeling against my analytical self;
it says, roll with it girl,
it feels like who i am. even if i can't dress often or go out, i feel much more integrated now and no longer beating up on myself.
this is not to say "if it feels good, do it."
but it feels right.
and good. wish i had support at home which you enjoy.
all my best wishes,
jessie

[gennee]

I feel liberate and complete when I'm dressed. I'm content with who I am and love to dress every chance I get.

Gennee

:doll:

[scherylnmke]

I used to ask myself that very same question, with the answers being anything and everything! Now, it's just because I do. IMHO I think this could represent who we really are, but the cosmic joke is on us that we are born male! If you enjoy it, it makes you feel good, and your not breaking any laws(Civil or with your SO!!) then go with the flow!! Some only under dress and then those that go the hole 9 yards, it all depends on your comfort level. Enjoy!!!

[Rachel Morley]

That's a great question. For me the answer is that "feeling feminine" (as opposed to looking feminine although I try yo do that too) makes me happy - it always has done. It has always been about feeling soft and girly inside because that's where happiness was (and still is) for me.

There is nothing wrong with being happy. There is nothing wrong if it's you that makes yourself happy, and there is nothing wrong if wearing feminine clothes is what makes you feel nice. :)

I see my crossdressing as a visual manifestation of the feminine feelings that I already have inside. I truly love and respect women. I feel like I have some sort of bond with them because feeling feminine is important to me and something that I love. So to enhance my female characteristics and feelings by wearing women’s clothes is to emulate the kind of person that I want to be anyway. I tell myself that girls’ clothes suit me and that I should be wearing them. After all, I am only showing on the outside what’s on the inside. To me, crossdressing is a means of allowing me to tap into and release a side of myself that can benefit me spiritually, emotionally, and ultimately…. enhance my life.

[serinalynn]

I like dressing because of the feel of the clothing, womens clothing is soft and smooth to the feel, womens clothing is always changeing so there is always new things to look for feel and try on. I find it very invigorating to go shopping and decide if and item is Needed or Nice to Have. In my case I already have as much womens clothing as my wife has, so In my case most everything would be Nice to Have. I also think we crossdressers can actually feel the things we choose to wear better than females as they may take that feel for granted just because they are women or because they wear it every day.

[Jilmac]

DJ, I can only speak for myself but I used to ask myself the very same question. I didn't know why I loved looking in the mirror and seeing myself all dolled up. Then about six months ago, I met my new SO and I revealed my "dark secret" to her and she said "that must put you in a comfort zone". Bingo! That's when the bulb went on and I realized she had just answered my question. Dressing and seeing myself dressed has always put my into a different state of mind, my comfort zone. So there you have it girl, my reason why I dress, why I love it, and why I'll stop when they're shoveling dirt over me. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Danicd]

When dressing was a sexual thing for me, I enjoyed it because it was risky and exciting. I enjoyed it because the clothes were usually fetish based and very sexy.

These dyas dressing isn't (always) a sexual thing, so why do I enjoy it so?

This really sounds like I started this thread. I have been asking myself the same question. I've decided that there isn't a real answer that fits all of us. For me it helps me to escape the real world for a while. I know that when I'm dressed I feel more comfortable and relaxed. So, why do drunks need to be in a bar everynight or why are some men real macho and feel the need to beat on woman or why are some men into other men or why are some women into trying to emulate men? Sometimes as men we need to have answers to everything and be able to fix all our problems. I can't answer your question for you but for me it is becoming more normal for me to relax being dressed than even being naked. So, my suggestion for you is to not over analyze it (like I tend to do) and enjoy it. Like my SO just said I'm learning to enjoy it and just go with the flow (except it and enjoy the little time we have left on this earth).
Dani

[deja true]

A lot of girls say they like feeling "frilly and soft", but it's not that for me. Absolutely the physical softness of the clothes is a wonderful thing (though I do like the kinda scratchy feeling of lace sometimes too).

But being dressed makes me feel almost the opposite of soft. It makes me feel strong and much more confident and sometimes actually wanting to get out of my isloation and "kick butt" on sexists, haters, misogynists, and all those that don't take women, in all their manifestations, seriously.

I'm already a strong personality as a man, but I can feel an even stronger confident woman feel that energizes and amazes me.

Maybe I'm not a 'gurl', as we're often called. Maybe I'm a gurrrl!

[jennifer41356]

I have never asked myself why...I guess for me its always been there and years ago when an old GF dumped me, I decided maybe I should look more into this female side of me(she didnt dump me because of this, she was a wack job) and I have never really looked back, so maybe I should have been born female:daydreaming:

[battybattybats]

The honest true answer is....

No-one really knows for sure!
Science hasn't discovered the answer yet. There have been lots of theories but none are sufficient yet.

Maybe one day an answer will be found but until then unless you want to study neuroscience in depth you'll have to make do with working out how to come to terms with it. At present it's just 'it is'.

Why does the universe exist? There's evidence for a big bang but what caused it? There's some vague theories but not sufficient yet. Maybe one day the answer will be found but until then unless you want to study cosmology in depth you'll have to make do with working out how to come to terms with it. At present it's just 'it is'.

Ok sure the existence of the universe seems less personally relevant but they are really the same.

The fact is we wonder why because we grew up without seeing this as a normal thing in life. Do non-crossdressing guys wonder why they don't feel like wearing stockings? Nope. As a gay friend said to me once:

"Do straight men one day decide to be straight? Do they sit up at night unable to sleep because they aren't attracted to other men? Sure they don't and it's just because they grow up with being straight as being normal, when being gay is also common in the media, is also widely seen as normal then their won't be gay men sitting up at night unable to sleep wondering why they are gay."

I think there is a lot of wisdom in that.

[Dee Jay]

Wow! There have been some great answers. THANK YOU!

Some comments hit home.
The fact that we FEEL clothes more is certainly true. I often comment to my wife that clothes feel great to wear. She doesn't get this at all :)

Comfort zone... Yep this too is very true.
Feeling stronger when dressed... Again this is true for me, but I'm also more compasionate too.

Feeling feminine as opposed to looking feminine... If you see any of the pictures I've posted you'll understand that I'll NEVER look feminine, but it's great to feel it.

One thing I've noticed is that since my wife's recent turn around (She used to destest my crossdressing) I've been more able to think and wonder a lot more. Before I was locked away, so it was always exciting to get dressed. Now it's open and I'm free, I've noticed that I actually prefer to be dressed as a woman than as a man (but have no desire to be woman). I prefer a skirt to jeans. Before, I thought it was just because it was forbidden. I actually buy clothes for the way they will feel above how they look (again see the pics :) )
I guess this is the reason I asked the question. Why do I enjoy this?

Thanks again for all the amazing responses. I see that I'm not alone in my feelings or even in my quest to find answers. This I find very interesting.

DJ

[dominique]

When I started cding it was sexual and my heart would race. But as I got used to it, it began to get more into choosing the correct clothes also lately when I dress I feel that my persona changes. The reason for this is that I feel more at ease with my self and the journey I've made. As for the clothes they feel and look extremely sexy compared to what we wear when we are in drab is no comparison. The flash of your leg when out walking in a skirt is amazing. Knowing that you are at one with the rest of women kind and you enjoy the things that they wear really make me feel privileged. Hope that sheds some light.

[kim85]

Ive asked this question many times trying to understand why my SO dressed and most of the answers have been because it feels natural for them to dress. My SO often gets headaches tryin to figure it my response stop thinking about it then you are what you are you cant change it so why worry.
Just my 2pence on the subject

Kim
xxx