Would You?

[Vicky_Scot]

If you (dressed or not) saw a person when you were out in public and you knew for definite they were one of us, would you approach them?

[StephanieH]

Absolutely. Not to cause any problems or nothing, but I think we could all use some encouragement especially if somebody's brave enough to venture out. I've not had the pleasure yet, but someday perhaps... :)

[Jilmac]

I would, and I hope another t girl would greet me. I think it's the greatist to be acknowledged in public by a sister. I would be thrilled if it happened to me. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Nicki B]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

[DeeDeeB]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

I agree. I might give them a smile and a wink, but probaly not much more. I'm pretty shy in public anyhow. If I got a response from them, I might say "nice dress" or something, but not too commital.

Dee :fairy3:

[Deborah Jane]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

I,d be the same
.
Anyway if you didn,t know them, how could you be 100% sure they were one of us?
I,ve seen some pretty masculine women around from time to time, and wondered if they could be c/ders, but do you really want to take the chance and discover that what you,ve seen is in fact a genetic female?

You,ll probably get slapped :slap: or arrested for harrassment!!!

[ConnieLove]

I agree with deborah jane,but i'd still give her a wink,and tell her she looks nice

[Jodie_Lynn]

Not unless I knew her personally, but I would nod and smile if I thought she was.

[Nicki B]

I agree with deborah jane,but i'd still give her a wink,and tell her she looks nice

So you're out and some guy you don't know comes up and winks at you and makes a comment that sounds like a come on - how would you feel? :eek:

[shannonsilk]

I did once at the local gay bar. It could have been a GG but I don't think so.
I never said "hey, are you a crossdresser?" we just talked a bit about some of the other customers.

[Sandygal]

I wouldn't chase after her, but if she was standing right next to me, I'm sure I would smile and say hello. I would leave it up to her to continue the conversation.

[MJ]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

i agree if i did not know her i would leave her alone .. she probably ready to crap her panties anyway... why scare the crap out of her.

[bobi jean]

I think I would some how try to acknowledge her but not make an issue of it unless she were to acknowledge me also, dressed or not. If she were to acknowledge my acknowledgement then I would at least try to converse with her, still without pushing the subject. I guess a simple nod, a wink or a nice smile would suffice until she made an attempt to make conversation.

[CharleneT]

Would depend on the circumstances for sure. I am friendly,so it is likely that I would approach, but not with an opening line of "so, you're a CD eh?". Sometimes, you just get a feel for a person and know it will probably be ok to talk, sometimes the radar isn't working so you pass on by without saying anything. Sure it tells the person that you spotted them, but they may be interested to know that. It seems that coming from another CD/T{FIB}, it might not be so depressing ... we are expert at the process !

C.

[Nicole Erin]

Can't add much to what charlene said, but I can agree.

I enjoy my CD friends :)

[angelfire]

I definitely would not. I never approach strangers in public, and usually only speak if spoken to when dealing with people I don't know.

Also, odds are I wouldn't even notice them. I am generally oblivious to everything around me when I'm at the mall or whatever, and usually have my music on anyway.

[charlie]

I was at a great friendly gay bar in Phoenix (dressed) and a guy came up to me, bought me a drink, shook my hand and said he was envious and pleased that people went out and showed who they were. He also continued that I looked very pretty and helped dress up the bar or something like that. I was flabbergasted, but pleased that he would take the time, effort and courage to come up to me and welcome me to the bar. He was not the owner, just a fellow patron like myself (the owner welcomed me later). I obviously did not pass since he came over to me (damn) in the first place, but I was dressed up to the nines in flowing bright pink bell bottom pants, red heels, and wonderful blouse. Others then greeted me as well. It is a bar that a member here told me to go to. She was right! After the experience, I would and do go up to CD's that I meet at various bars and places that I frequent.

[gwendy]

I think I would try to get into a position where I could say something even just hello and hope I could let them know I was with them.
gwen

[Joanne f]

No, because firstly i am not a forward sort of person and secondly i would assume that if they wanted me to talk to them they would be chatting to me via PM.



joanne

[Sinthia]

I might make a comment like . . . 'nice dress, it looks good on you' and see what transpires. In he says nothing, no one is hurt.

[Beth785]

If I was dressed, maybe. But if I wasn't, having been in those shoes (heels), it would seem like it was coming off as an insult, I would think. This is kind of a tough call. You want to be supportive, not disrespectful. Maybe we need to come up with some sort of membership card or a secret handshake.

[docrobbysherry]

And no.

[Jada Rose]

A compliment about her outfit or shoes,etc. would ( I think) be a good way to open the door. It's always nice to hear your efforts are noticed. That, in turn, may open the door for more conversation without saying" Hey! You've been read.":2c:

[Alex!]

Nope.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've been much more aware recently and have seen sisters in my community. I let them go on about their business. Maybe if I get a chance I would compliment them on their outfit. I guess one of these days when I get out again, I'll have to see how I would feel first if approached by a stranger. Once I've walked in those heels, then my response may be different.

[dominique]

I would not go up to some one I know is a cd because they want to go about their own business without somebody 'outing' them, I wouldn't like that done to me.

[tricia_uktv]

I suppose it depends on time and place - obvously no problem if your in a gay bar and your both dressed. In general no. Nothing wrong with a nice smile though

[jjjjohanne]

I like to think that if the situation permitted an introduction that I would at least say hello. However, there have been two occasions where I have seen a CD dressed in public (somewhat recently).
The first one, was in a book store. I saw him go by, and I took a doubletake to make sure of what I saw. Clearly, this was not a full time CD, but the outfit was tasteful. I went around the book case and was on the same row as him. I stopped about two cases away from him. He got nervous and left the row and went straight to the bathroom.
The second one, was in a grocery store. This character was creepy looking. I got the impression that this was an angry, bold person who had crossed the line of not caring what anyone thought. I was not interested in meeting him.

Therefore, I would say that it definitely has a lot to do with the person CDing.

[Caitlin Rose]

I've approached 2 CDers and started conversations on different occasions, but both were presenting in "andro" mode at the time, so there was no aspect of me "reading" them.
In each case, I feel I made a friend.

I don't think I'd ever do the same thing with a CDer who was trying to pass at the time. The one time I had the opportunity, we were seated in a "two" on the commuter train, and we talked about everything EXCEPT CDing.

I'm not sure how I would feel about chatting with another CDer, ABOUT CDing, when we both were dressed, and in a T* friendly place. That's pure theory for me!

[MsJoann]

From time to time I will see someone in boymode in the women's section of a store. I wouldn't make it a point to go out of my way to bother that person. However, with the warm weather here, you can get a good idea by looking at the shaved legs.
Some athletic guys (bicycles etc.) shave their legs, so you can never be 100% sure.

[sexotik]

No doubt. I would be so excited to see someone so bold that was capable of going out.

[Roberta Rain]

The other day, I, my wife, and a close friend were on our way out to a diversity weekend event when we passed a beautifully dressed older gentlewoman in a truly fabulous outfit who was just leaving the event. I was dressed guy as almost always in public. I immediately recognized that she was a cross dresser, and I said, sincerely, 'That is a lovely dress!' He/she may have said a quiet 'thanks', but I'm not certain. In any case, she walked very quickly past us, looking nervouse, and as if she wasn't sure if I was about to follow up with an insult or some other form of attack. My close friend immediately saw the response and (god bless her) said 'Yeah, you just say that because you want to be wearing it.'... or something like that. I said 'Damn straight!' The lady paused for a moment, looked briefly back, seeming to understand that I had been trying to be nice and that we all genuinely admired her, and then hurried on her way.
We can only do the best we can.
-Roberta

[Carly D.]

Probably not for me.. the reason is that I don't approach most people anyway.. I'm a very private person...

[JoAnnDallas]

A couple of years ago, wife and I were at Disney FL and I spotted a CDer. She was looking in a gift shop, so I walked up besider her. While looking at an item, I said Hello, I guess it must have freaked her out. Her eyes got wide and she quickly left the gift shop.

I decided after that not to say hello to a TG person in public unless it was at a public TG function.

["Mary"]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

I'm with Nicki on this one. (and most others as a matter of fact, since she seems to have exceptionally sound sensitive and mature views on things).

But, if I knew it was one of "us" from this forum, I would consider that we are already at least acquaintances and I would definitely greet them.

[EnglishRose]

Probably not for me.. the reason is that I don't approach most people anyway.. I'm a very private person...


I'll see your "Probably" and raise you a "definitely" for the same reason.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I would say " I just love your shoes, I have a pair just like them" even if i didn't but that would let them know that I was sympatico with their situation if they were a crossdresser and if not than the real GG would know that she had a great pair of shoes. I have actually don this on many occassions to real GG's when I do have the same shoes as they are wearing. Most of th tim they think I am just a big jokester. It is my subtle way of outing myself. I have also told woman that I "love your dress and that I wish that I could look as good in my dress like that. My wife goes nuts when I do this!!!

[suchacutie]

Obviously enough, in a gay or TS-friendly bar there are fewer barriers to starting a conversation with someone you "think" is one of us, but even in that case an entertainment venue might attract straight couples or women or one kind of celebration (birthday, etc) so one never quite knows. And then there are the working "girls".

And you can't ever be quite sure. I was riding a train about a year ago and a lovely older woman was sitting across the aisle from me. After a while I realized that I could see all manner of "male" clues, but also all manner of female "clues". I said nothing, but that incident led me to observing older women (or those presenting as women) and it is amazingly often that I really can't convince myself of the gender of the person I'm observing. That in itself has made me incredibly careful about starting any kind of gender-specific conversation.

On the other hand, if I see someone who falls into that "androgenous" category, I always attempt to be pleasant and accepting of the gender they are presenting. IMHO that is the best thing we can do for any of our sisters who are out and about: treat them pleasantly as the woman they are presenting...make them feel great about themselves as a woman.

tina

[Suzy Harrison]

I'd scream out at the top of my voice "HEY ARE YOU ONE OF US?"

No I wouldn't really. If she's was one of us you've just told her she can't pass. If she isn't you're telling a GG she looks like a guy.
Either way it's not going to be appreciated.

It's unlikely that I'm going to know the person as we are rather thin on the ground for hotties such as TxKimberly here in out of the way Perth.

[victoriamwilliams1]

At first I would have said yes if I was dressed, now since reading all the responses I think if dresses we acknowledge one another and act as a GG would and leave the CD part out it could be fun. In drab I see CD's/TG's & TS's every so often and if they pass by me I just carry on with what I am doing.

Now for me if I am out like anyone I would be taken back by a great however I wold not leave the place because of it. As long as I am not asked how long have you been dressing everything is fine. In the open public if we see each other do as any person would do and act as if the other TG/CD is the gender they are showing otherwise everyones attention will be brought not only to her but to the person talking to her.

[Amy Hepker]

Yes, and I would say Hi how's it going???

[Tedi]

Approach, no, probably not. Smile and say "hi", as I do for nearly everyone, Yes!

[Jeannie]

How do you treat a GG. I think the same would be true in this case, although the temptation to be supportive can be strong. I don't see where casual conversation in the man to women vein would be so bad. If you treat someone like they are presenting themselves to me that is validation.

Jeannie

[Eugenie]

I wouldn't start a discussion on the subject of crossdressing if I met another sister who is obviously "one of us".

If I was in drab mode, depending upon the ciscumstances, I might start chatting with her as I do very often... I would treat her like a lady and speak to her on all sorts of subjects outside crossdressing.

My wife says that as soon as I've met and talked to someone, that person gets to know almost all about my life... And I do talk naturally to many people that I had never met before...

I might be a bit more modest if I met a "sister" while being myself dressed "en femme", for the reason given here in a few posts: it might be interpreted as "Well you don't pass very well... I recognize you as a crossdresser". Of course nothing would be said but that would be even worse than saying it...

But so far the only crossdressers I have met were friends I already knew... So I didn't have that problem...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[occdresser]

I would hit on her and make her feel wanted:D

[Dr.Susan]

I would hit on her and make her feel wanted:D

What happens if you are rejected? Don't take it for granted that they would want you just because you are also a cross dresser.

[michelle64]

What happens if you are rejected? Don't take it for granted that they would want you just because you are also cross dresser.

i agree 100% i may have a femee side but same sex is out...

[Nicki B]

I would hit on her and make her feel wanted:D

Trust me, it's much more likely to make her feel scared and upset. :rolleyes:

How many of us here have the prime reason for going out shopping being to pick up men????

[Jeannie]

I guess in retrospect and after talking with my wife about it, it seems to depend on the situation. I am of the belief that we all in some small way or another want to be accepted as what we present ourselves and when someone gives us a compliment or a glimmer of acceptance we flush with excitement and glow with the happiness that we are truly as we want to be. I must say that you all here are wonderful and I am happy to be in your company (if only in cyberspace then so be it).

Jeannie

[TxKimberly]

. . . No I wouldn't really. If she's was one of us you've just told her she can't pass. If she isn't you're telling a GG she looks like a guy. Either way it's not going to be appreciated. . .


Suzy just expressed my thoughts exactly.

[Seville]

Only if I knew them.

Otherwise, you're only telling them they don't pass.. :strugglin

My feelings exactly.

[jessielee]

would be like blowing a recovering alcoholic's anonymity, could be destructive on so many levels.
but, get to know her?
relationships are where its at. if you have the opportunity and desire.
it could be very edifying to slow down, if possible, and recognize she's one of us the very best way possible, by investing in her as a person.
i believe it builds us up too when that happens.
the gaining of a new sister!
jessie

[Sally R.]

I saw a CD one morning about 8:00 am in Wal-mart (before it gets busy) and did not approach her. Sorry I didn't, would have made her feel good and me too. I will if it ever happens again.