Do I belong here?

[noname]

I've been in these forums for sometime now and I don't completely feel like I belong and wonder if there are others in the forum like me. Here is why I ask.

See, I don't want to be a women, nor do I try to fool other into thinking I'm a woman. I just like the artsy style of clothing and the like. Why can't society just let me be me.

sigh

[Joanne f]

Not everyone hear wants to be a woman and not everyone wants to make others think that they are a woman so you are not alone in that , but i expect most hear would wish that society would except them for what they are , so that should help you feel that you belong hear .
We all feel that we are a bit different from everyone else and that is a good thing.




joanne

[Wendy me]

lol you don't feel like you belong ???? lol that's the first sign you belong here .... i mean if not here were??? with them nut jobs that claim to be "normial"????.........some times you need to accept that it is what it is .....you don't need to be a women ... you just need to be you .... that simple .... there is no right and wrong here just if you can find a place were your happy thats all that matters....

[Emily Ann Brown]

"I do not wish to be a member of any distinguished body who would have the likes of me as a member !"

Groucho Marx



Emily Ann

[Dee Jay]

I have no desire to be a woman either. A lot of us feel the same way. I love the look and feel of the clothing.
Crossdressing is a very broad church, and there's a room for all of us, no matter what our desires/wants/needs are.

You belong here as much as anyone does.

DJ

[victoriamwilliams1]

Then you are at the right place.

[kay2]

It sounds like your interests align closely with my own. I have no interest in passing, and am not interested in presenting as a woman. I don't use a wig or forms.

I do like skirts, nice fabrics, nail polish, flats (shoes), a little bit of jewelry. My sense of style sometimes brings up issues that others here address. Since most of the posts tend to be from those who "go further" than what I prefer, I am erratic in my reading, and even more so in my participation. However, I have found this forum to be loaded with members who are insightful, supportive, and kind.

And, of course, you (and I) are always welcome to start threads like this one. Thanks for bringing up the topic.

[Eugenie]

Indeed you belong here...

There are many ways of being a crossdresser... And many reasons to the desire to wear women clothes when one is born male (I can't speak for FtM situations)

Some just like the feel of soft material on their skin, some have an image of feminity based upon lacy underwear, some want to look like other women in real life, etc.
Some do it as a sexual fantazy, some just enjoy being dressed as women and this can even vary from one time to the other in a same person...

So, since this forum name is Crossdressers.com, indeed again, you belong here...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Deborah Jane]

I don,t really belong here either, but nowhere else would take me!!!

[deja true]

None of us really belongs here!

We belong out on the streets and out in the world!

But here we are none the less.

Everybody's gotta be somewhere!

[O2B Barbara]

Sounds like family to me.

[Alex!]

noname - you and I are in the same boat. I have absolutely no desire to be a chick. I do it for artistic expression, which satisfies a part of my creative side (and also a feminine expression normally overshadowed by dude mannerisms). Painting on canvas or building models takes care of other parts of my creative side. I think of it more like acting or playing a role. If I dressed like Albert Einstein, I would also pay very close attention to the appearance and mannerisms so I could look and act the part in a convincing way. I also find that crossdressing is strangely liberating and thus relaxing.

[Amy Hepker]

It seems to me you fit right in and why would you not? But you are not strange by any means.

[SandyR]

Sigh not my friend. I think you have found a home, well at least a place to feel out your thoughts. Your not alone, this girl has no desire to become one....if that make sense. I just love the feel of hose, heels against nice shaved legs and a dress to top it all off.

SandyR

[docrobbysherry]

I don't have much in common with most here. I dress to suit myself and, like everything I do, I even CD my own way.

However, oddly enough, all the folks here DO have one thing in common! Despite all the differences.

We all dress in ladies clothes! I guess we belong here, or nowhere!

[Angie G]

You are at home here hun and belong as much as anyone. And will always be welcome to stay. :hugs:
Angie

[trannie T]

Get Out and Stay Out!

If you enjoy reading and/or posting here you definately belong here. We are all unique, there are several thousand of us here and each one has her own needs and desires. I love wearing women's clothing, wigs and makeup. I can only pass as a woman on a very dark night, from a considerable distance. It is very normal for one of us to be a bit confused and have doubts but if you enjoy being here, please stay here.

[ChanDelle]

Sweetie, there's not two of us here exactly alike, and some are closer than others. But as someone already said, we all like to wear women's clothing for some reason or another ( and that's TBD). That seems to be the common denominator. No finer or more understanding group will you ever find (in my opinion).

Please stay and enjoy?

ChanDelle

[jessielee]

dear NoName,
sorry you feel ill at ease.
but what else do you feel?
beyond the pressure to look as good or to go out perhaps!
the feel of this or that upon you!
it must serve some hidden or sub rational quest...
many of us will or can never go out.
yet we share and converse and ask and learn; there is much opportunity for togetherness as a society of misunderstood to disenfranchised even if nothing else. reading the posts above reinforces what i've felt for a time now; we are all so different here, its what we have in common!
so i join in hoping you feel a family connection of some sort here.
i sure do.
can i extend my comfort and curiosity to you?
eclectically,
jessie

[Jenny J]

I think that this thread is the first one that has really struck a nerve for me. I couldn't agree more with everything that has been said and have felt the same as Noname.

The forum is a nice safe place to visit, express yourself and your feelings. Its also a great place to get fashion and beauty tips for aspiring CD'ers that want to dress beter.

I think you fit in here more than you know.

Jen

[noname]

I believe one of the main reason I don't fit is the nature of many of posts here. Posts like, guess what color my panties are, and who makes great breast forms and where to buy a bra. IMO it just amplifies the publics perception of rocky horror picture show. Just look at the first sticky. "how to tuck". It's like waving a flag that says, "this is what were all about".

Most of what I wear is jeans and t-shirt. ( how daring! ) I don't wear the clothes because the are "womens" I wear them because they don't make anything for guys but the same tired old crap they've been making for decades.

Guess I feel stuck in the middle. I don't dress over the top and try to be a girl. But I don't really dress like a guy either. It's like when I go to video store to check out a movie. I can tell the gal is trying her best not to laugh, but having a difficult time. ( odd since she's seen me many times ) It's difficult for me when women snicker or stare. I just want to grab a mirror and say, look stupid, your doing the same thing! Then I see the guys. I don't want to be like them either. They generally seem busy being a jerk trying to prove they are "being a real man" All while wearing baggy jeans and a dirty t-shirt. All I can think is, jeez buddy have some class.

Why does life have to be so complicated?

[MentalMercury]

Oh yeah, definately. We're all a bunch of oddballs, and I guarantee you there's plenty who share your views.

[Nadia-Maria]

Do I belong here?


After more than 940 posts here, I feel you got all legimitacy to ask this question.... :love:

Kisses
Nadia

[Joanne f]

Noname, i have been thinking a bit more about what you have said as like you i have also wondered if i fit in here, but that has not so much to do with what i wear or don`t wear but more to do with the lack of what i would call interaction with any other members unless you are one of the selected few , so it can at times feel very impersonal as if you are at times writing something and just sending it into cyberspace but maybe that will alter in time as the thing is that if you don`t stick with it you will never know :daydreaming:.


joanne

[RikkiOfLA]

I gave up worrying a long time ago whether I want to be a woman.

I just enjoy being myself!

Truly, there is no one I'd rather be. I don't want to be anyone else. I don't define myself in terms of anyone else. I don't need to fit anyone else's definition of a man or a woman. I'm just me.

Fashion is a tool. It tells me what items I'm likely to find in stores, and what combinations I can wear in public without being at risk of being harmed. That's helpful, because I wish to avoid harm or ridicule. All I want from the public is to be allowed to exist.

I am aware that it gives me pleasure to appear as a reasonably attractive woman. But that doesn't mean that I want to be a woman--that would mean surgery--more pain, more risk, more expense. Rather, I look in the mirror and smile. That is me, smiling back! A good feeling!

It is comforting to me to discover (again each day) that my deepest desire is to be me, and that does not shock people, and it's not illegal. For a long time, I thought my deepest desires would be illegal and dangerous, and would lead to arrest, unemployment, electroshock, or some other hideous fate. So I tried to conform to society's expectations, and instead became timid and depressed.

Now those dark days are over. I am free. I am happy.

I think if you are free and happy, or long to be, and you would like to be here, that is all that is required for you to be here. Welcome!

Blessings,
Rikki

[Michelle 51]

If you ever wore a pair of panties as a child and it made you feel something you never felt before then you belong here

[EnglishRose]

I'll also never pass, nor do I want to. I'm just happy letting my Fem side take over for a while, from time to time, and feel all the better for it :)

There is no pressure here from anyone to go out if you don't want to; just to accept yourself for who you are and that's very liberating.

[CandyDarling]

None of us are the same and the spectrum runs 360 degrees. You are in the right place.

[noname]

If you ever wore a pair of panties as a child and it made you feel something you never felt before then you belong here

This is exactly the kind of post I was talking about. Sheeze.

[Joanna-Louise]

Heya hun

of course ya in the right place hun,

as said in previous replies, not everyone here wants to be a woman or pass as one. Its a place to make alot of friends, have a laugh and share tricks/tips and give/take advice in nearly all aspects of what we do.

relax and enjoy yourself and have a drink on me lol :love::hugs::drink:

[Michelle 51]

This is exactly the kind of post I was talking about. Sheeze.

Guess you just ansered your own question.give us a break

[Julie York]

This is exactly the kind of post I was talking about. Sheeze.


I've been on this forum for years and I still sit back and think I have no business being here as a legitimate crossdresser. And then 3 months later I accidentally dress in womens clothing :eek:and think....ah damn I did it again.:D

But then there are so many different levels and reasons that I keep coming back to try and fit my square peg into a hexhagonal hole (with a large mallet and will power) that after a while you realise that it's not a specific thing. It's just...something vaguely to do with exploring your own gender boundaries.

That takes many forms.

So you fit in there somewhere.

:thumbsup:.

[charlie]

What this group does for me is to let me know that I am not alone. Society brands me as a pervert or worse. Through the years society's perception of CD would make me feel guilty that I was dressing. The result was lots of years of purging my items and telling myself that I would be a man and not venture into girls stuff anymore! Well folks, we all know where that gets you! Hence I am here with my fellow sisters discussing cross dressing on this forum. Thanks for being here! Perhaps you should give it a chance Noname.

[Fab Karen]

Except: to leave out, exclude.
ACCEPT is the word.

Rikki has it right, being more completely ourself.

[Beth-Lock]

I have wondered if I should leave, or transition out of CD. Before, I wondered if I should follow the lead of what is said on many of the sites, and do it not just more and more but permanently transition into being a ******* full time. Maybe worrying about transitioning, is too definite a word for the uncertain exploring we are doing; it is more likely, a journey.

[Kris]

I don,t really belong here either, but nowhere else would take me!!!



LOL I'll take you baybee!

On a more serious note -- if you don't belong here, neither do I .. I have even less in common with crossdressers, transgendered, or transexual people than you do~! I do belong here however, and love every minute of it.

Good luck!
Kris

[Aurora27]

I just like the artsy style of clothing and the like. Why can't society just let me be me.

sigh

I would have to fully agree here. I often think - women have stolen the entire range of mens clothing options and adapted them to suit their figures and stylings. Also, my fiance wore one of my shirts to uni the other day, and do you think anyone would have even batted an eyelid. No one would have looked at her and said "thats a guys shirt, she's a crossdresser!"

I say, lets take womens' clothes and make them our own. I wanna wear skirts - I reckon their great and why shouldn't I, when women can wear whatever the heck they want?

[Deborah Jane]

LOL I'll take you baybee!

Debs sezz "Mmmm":battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes::D

I do belong here however, and love every minute of it.
Kris

I love this place really....
Guess that,s why i keep coming back:D:D

[susan2010]

Noname:
As you read some of these responses and other postings, you'll see there is a huge range of attitudes and behaviors here. If you feel drawn towards wearing girls clothes or underwear, or want to feel like a woman, or become a woman, this is the place for you. There's probably 100 people who feel the same way you do. As I read these posts, sometimes I think "OMG! I'd never do that!", but reading them and attending some support group meetings has made me more aware and accepting of diversity.
I think the main thing we have in common is that we do things that most of society at least disapproves of, and we were taught the same. We all have to deal with that

[skirtandsweater]

You look great. I wished I did this when I was a lot younger.

[Nicki B]

Why can't society just let me be me.

Well there are a whole lot of people here who feel the same way - so we ought to be able to get away without judging each other, but sometimes that does seem like just wishful thinking... :rolleyes:

Only you can know if you find you get something useful from being here? You could try giving it a rest, for a while, then see if it feels good to come back?


If you ever wore a pair of panties as a child and it made you feel something you never felt before then you belong here

Well, I didn't? :strugglin


Let's just accept the differences and value our diversity? :D

[Seville]

Why does life have to be so complicated?

946 posts and you're STILL confused and mixed up?

C'MON now.

We have a lot of new members constantly entering
this Community...if they want to excitedly talk
about panties, earrings, whatever...Go right
ahead! Doesn't bother me in the least. Lets
show some respect for the members of this board.

Sheez!


...it just amplifies the publics perception of rocky horror picture show. Just look at the first sticky. "how to tuck". It's like waving a flag that says, "this is what were all about".
Why does life have to be so complicated?

You have just won "Post of the Day." Now I feel insulted.

Just my :2c:

[dakota_ann69]

Just be yourself!! I gave up a long time ago with trying to please other and get them to understand why I am like I am. As Popeye says " I AM WHAT I YAM!!!! " If you are happy with who you are then you have taken the journey to the best point possible.

[crusadergirl]

I feel the same way that i don't fit in. But really thats the way i like it. Blending in isn't my thing i like to stand out. I just like to look like a girl not really be one. But we are all different and i'm cool with that. Peace out

[Andine]

I like it here and I feel I belong .... Because I am happy with myself doing what some others see as "Outrageous".

Noname .... Be our friend, be happy and be content with yourself ... You are not alone and you are not weird!!

Welcome mate!

Regards

[Jeannie Bingham]

I love dressing as a woman, but I certainly have no desire to be one. There are lots of different kind of CDrs.

[Ruth]

noname, I get what you are saying about some of the posts here (that's not exactly the same as saying I agree), but we didn't all pop out of the same mould. We have just one thing in common here, and it's sufficiently... errm... different... that we need the support of one another to affirm our sense of values. People here do things I would never do, wear things I would never wear, but I still find them a great encouragement and support, and feel totally that I belong, because we are a group, a community, whether we always like it or not. Don't fight it, embrace it.

[Satrana]

Noname

It may be true that many members here talk about girly-girly behavior and attitudes but I think this is largely a result of many just wanting to maximize their fun here because of the relatively limited opportunity they have in real life to express these sentiments. Our community remains largely closeted and this is the result. But you know each year society becomes that little bit more liberal and accepting, each year more CDs come out of their closets. It is just a matter of time before a more level-headed approach like that you describe for yourself becomes the norm. Just be patient.

[Claire3]

Although it would be good to gain acceptance.Guess im happy as i am and glad sites like this exist

[Tammygirl]

Ladies,
We all hve our style, our tastes, and our reasons for being here! If I feel a home here you can too! I think every post I read here before me has said that too.
Welcome Love Tammy:love:

[Emily Anderson]

Noname,

I would say you don't really belong here, because you have a different reason for wearing feminine clothing than most of the people here. That is, you want to be accepted as a guy wearing female clothes, whereas most people here want to feel feminine and wear female clothes. Neither is more or less noble a cause than the other.

There are similarities and differences and so on, but to me it's a bit like regularly showing up at a bridge club when you're mostly interested in poker.

Having said that, it's only you who can decide what you get out of it, and judging by the responses, a lot of people like poker players in their bridge club ;-)

[wishonastar]

It is about dressing in what you would like.

But this forum is made of lots of transsexuals so it is a bit confusing since it is called Crossdressers.

But ...... anyone that wears the clothes of the other gender is crossdressing. A transsexual before SRS is still crossdressing.

Then again ...... if a transexual is living as the the other gender full time, then they are not crossdressing, SRS or not!

I hope that clears it up! :heehee:

(If it does explain it to me!):brolleyes:

[Carly D.]

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to wear the best clothing in the world.. whatever floats your boat.. you belong here if you think you do.. if there's a reason you feel like you should express your feelings about what clothing you wear and want to fit in somewhere, this is the place to be..

[Janet Bern]

I have no desire to be a chick either. I do like the clothes and having them fit. I also like to go out as a woman to shop and see what it feel like to be fit in like a woman. Its nice to get away from being all man for a while every so often.

[guardian832]

Society has relagated the roles that males and females are to "play" without realizing/or be willing to admit that inside ALL of us a a part of the other. Cross Dressing for most of us is a way to let the "other self" merge/express itself to make a more unified whole; more at peace with themselves and perhaps with the world and how it is dealt with on a daily basis. Of course you belong, we are all family!!!!!!!!!!!:love:

[CaptLex]

But this forum is made of lots of transsexuals so it is a bit confusing since it is called Crossdressers.
:thinking: Maybe we should change the name . . . ? :raisedeyebrow:

[CD Susan]

Many of us here feel exactly the same as you do so yes I think you belong here. But then only if you want to belong and you must or you would not have joined in the first place.

[CD Susan]

I think of it this way, if you want to belong here then yes you do belong here. However no one has told you that you must belong here. If you are comfortable here then stay if you are not then leave. Only you have the answer.

[rays999]

I dont want to be a woman I just love getting into some sexy underwear with a silky little thing on top