Going on Crossdressing hiatus

[~Seana~]

Well looks like crossdressing ( and well just being a **** in general) is going to be on hiatus for a bit.

I'm seperated by two years from a common law ex. She currently has physical custody of my two kids 14 and 7 but not legal custody...that has never been determined . Last wed After trying for a week to get my kids by phone ( the phone had been disconnected) . Going over unannounced confirmed my worst fears, she had disappeared with the children without a trace from what I could determine from schools etc about a week prior . The apartment was trashed. I had noticed increasing unclenliness for the last 6 months food ground into the carpet and slopped everywhere in the kitchen, dirty walls and floors, and worse so I was in the process of getting the legal p's and q's in order to intervene anyway.
Now I am off to court this week to file emergency motions for custody so they can finish their school year here in town which is a month away. I've already found them in another town about an hours drive away. I dont even drive. But it's alot different having a 14 year old and a 7 year old around than a 3 year old and 10 month old alone, so I'll have to watch my screen and probably wont be on much. And dressing around the house when the kids are in bed....totally out.
Sigh. Lets hope the judge agrees, but given the conditions they have been kept in, I cant see not.

Amanda
The Not so Happy ****

[Shelly Preston]

Good Luck with the judge

It not good when she just dissappeared with the kids

I just hope the disruption does not affect their schooling

[darla_g]

sorry to hear this Shelly this sounds like bigger issues than whether you can dress or not. good luck.

[Amy Hepker]

Good Luck, get Human Services involved, they can help a great deal.

[~Seana~]

Already has for a week. It looks like she decided on this move pretty much spur of the moment. The landlord cant even go into the unit yet legally even though he knows she's gone. I have asked him to view the unit untouched or to get copies of any photographs showing the condition, which they say they do whenever somebody skips anyway.
I pretty much have to look as good as I can as a parent ( which should not be too tough, we recently got checked out by the child services folks, and they said keep doing what you are doing....Tobi /Tierganshaw is off to the parenting center taking course on being a better parent 3 times a week for several years now) so I think I'm in good shape there. Housing will be an issue initially, but it happens we were getting ready to move into larger space anyway as soon as we find an appropriate one, and Dell is about to pay me out a large amount of cash to boot so I THINK I'm in good shape. It just sucks that I have to do this to look out for their welfare.

I guess i could use tips on how others might have handled dressing around older children though, I used to hide my bit around the kids but that was as much fromt heir mom, who literally would call obscenities like "Fag" and belittle if she detected it. I've no doubt IF I DRESS, my kids will find it. They may anyway, given there's clothes about that certainly dont fit my Girl. My daughter is a smart cookie at 14

[Kierci]

I have full custody of my 11 year old daughter, You can reason with her and make her understand that you are doing what makes you happy and that you are not hurting anyone and as always her well being is your number one concern. My daughter knows but doesnt want to so I make sure it is all kept in a private place so she is not subjected to it. PM me we can talk more about this, I have had my daughter since she was 6 mos old and the ex knew about my crossdressing and amazingly she did not use it in court. Good Luck

[Daintre]

Good luck Amanda, my thoughts will be with you.

[LilSissyStevie]

This happened many years ago but I came home one night after work and everything and everybody was gone except for a pile of my clothes. She cleaned out the house and the bank accounts, took the kids and disappeared. I was glad she was gone but I had to hunt her down to establish my parental rights. I wasn't able to get physical custody but I did make sure that she couldn't leave So Cal with the children without giving me plenty of notice and a chance to object. A few years later I got a call at work. She wanted me to come take the kids NOW! She just had too much going on to be a mom anymore. Bitch. Raising two teenage girls was so fun:rolleyes: that it more than made up for any lack of crossdressing opportunities. I'd give up crossdressing in a heartbeat to do it all over again.:daydreaming: Lucky you.

[Stephanie Kay]

Sheesh, does anyone have any concern about someone who refers to herself as a "****" wanting to crossdress around minor children? Is anyone else uncomfortable with this "picture"???

Stephanie

[LilSissyStevie]

Sheesh, does anyone have any concern about someone who refers to herself as a "****" wanting to crossdress around minor children? Is anyone else uncomfortable with this "picture"???

Not me.

[Nicki B]

Sheesh, does anyone have any concern about someone who refers to herself as a "****" wanting to crossdress around minor children? Is anyone else uncomfortable with this "picture"???

Not looking at her avatar?

Would you impose similar 'dress rules' on a mother looking after her children? Why shouldn't children learn about difference and not being judgemental... :idontknow:

[jamie55]

Sheesh, does anyone have any concern about someone who refers to herself as a "****" wanting to crossdress around minor children? Is anyone else uncomfortable with this "picture"???

Stephanie

Hi Amanda: Let me answer stephanie first. You are being very judgemental. I have 5 children & 5 grandchildren to date. I dress like my daughters, short skirts etc. and they all know. To each his/her own. Nuff said.
Amanda, I think you are on the right track. Try and get custody of your children any way you can. I think this case is a good example why we shouldn't hide crossdressing from our children. When you do it gives the so's/wives ammo in case of a split. It is not, I repeat not, a crime for males to wear a dress anywhere in America. It can only be held against you if you allow it to. You go girl. Get those kids into a safe place asap.

[tricia_uktv]

Good luck Amanda, the kids must always come first. The 14 year old will find it very hard o accept your dressing i suspect so be very careful. good luck and I hope all goes well.

[~Seana~]

I guess I wasnt clear enough . I DO NOT dress around my children and never have. "****" is a fun playful term for my lifestyle, a bit of a snub in the nose to those that would critcise, but I keep my sexual lifestyle well away from my kids. Always have and always will. I was more looking for advicce with dealing with NOT dressing , and now that my kids are a little older, things to watch out for ( such as clothing or forms discovery in a cramped apt while I arrange to move us into bigger premesis etc.

To me kids need a chance to be kids, while I dont hide anything from them neither do they need to know anything as kids. When they are upper teens and if they ask...sure up front. They definitely dont need to deal with that in addition to being taken away from their mother. Not only wouldnt they understand, it could only cause them more stress. I wonthurt my kids like that.



I should also state I'm not al all concerned about my ex revealing my interests in life. She would have to explain her own ( this is the same woman who was my DOMINANT partner for 13 years.) If she wants to sling sensationalist mud, well I'm well prepared. That and my interests are already well documented, I've had to deal with them several times in the past with public officials. I've always thought that being up front was the best policy in such cases. I've sat across the table from child protection services when a yahoo neibour tried to use it against me in an argument over a deeded well. It didnt take them long to figure out a) there was no danger from myactivities to the children b) what I did do was done away from the home in our local club and the kids were NEVER exposed to it. and c) what goes on in my bedroom is not my childrens, or anyone elses business and I keep it that way. Well documented. So well, bring it on. I'm a well known activist in the local community for alternate lifestyles and family values. use it against me in court? Ok I'm well prepared for that. I doubt it'lll happen though.

Amanda

[TGMarla]

What a lousy situation. The dressing is the least of your worries. Good luck. This looks like it might get ugly.

[~Seana~]

Yup i do. I'm actually cleaning with a vengence, removing anything remotely kinked in case the motion goes my way on tues. My stepson who's three doesnt understand why my oldest Sam hasnt come for her birthday. He also doesnt understand why were clearing off the extra bunkbed and we arent talling him anything he's too young to understand and dont need his expectations on top if things go wrong. But he sees whatwere doing.My daughter may not identify a particular piece ofclothing as mels size or not I hope we are close enough. If my daughter decided to be nosey in our closet ( which 14 year olds do, they can be tremendous sneaks) I dont want wigs and forms kicking about. It's where to put all those things otherwise too . We'll move into a bigger place and that may make things easier. I have the money for that thankfully.
And all through it i want to break into tears which I've done several times. So yes I have bigger problems.

Amanda

[Charona]

It might be unhandy, but perhaps you could rent a small storage unit somewhere near and put all the stuff you don't want seen in it for a while. At least that way it would be out of your dwelling, if you think that would be wiser.

[~Seana~]

I'd thought of that . I cant afford an extra expense either. I'm making gratuitous use of storage bins at the moment. There would also then be the issue of transporting such articles and i dont drive. Locks might work though it's identifying everything.

[sissystephanie]

Amanda,

What a mess!! But you sound like a strong, well organized person and I would like to believe that it will all come out O.K. Your ex sounds like a real b****! Sorry about that.

The suggestion that you rent a storage place for a short time sounds to me to be the best solution. That is, if you really do intend to take a "hiatus" from crossdressing for some time. I thnik my last hiatus lasted about 4 hours!:heehee: Hope you can do better then that!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, but man underneath!

[~Seana~]

What a mess is right. And it's alot worse than what I had at first thought.
I've seen the kids. I had originally thought my oldest Daughter had lost a bit of weight and hoping it was because she was getting a bit more physical activity, but it's likely she just isnt getting enough to eat. She told me that her mother threw out all the furniture when she moved. I cant swear they have beds to sleep in at night.
I've been to court filing case and a motion for custody. The notice of motion was heard by a judge yesterday based on some affidavits of concerns that I had .It was approved to go ahead and the motion will be heard on tuesday.
When I saw the kids this week it was at their new school they had started on tues two weeks after they let at the end of the school year. The principal of the school and myself BOTH noticed that my son asked to leave the room for water 4 times in a twenty minute period. I would have loved to have seen the lunch he just ate. If everything goes wrong tues then I'm going to the small town about 120 kms away again this week to sit with him FOR lunch. I want to see what he's getting. My daughter too.
There's not a minute I havent spent at the courthouse or on the road to check on them. I'm on a first name basis with the folks and the lawyers at the family law information center and they have been a big help. Tobi/Tierganshaw has been through this before, she's been able to point me in the right places.
No chance I'll get to crossdress but that's ok. I can live without for a bit. My kids just dont need the extra confusion right now. We have a small apartment so we'll have to give up our bedroom for my daughter and put my son in the extra bunkbed in with my stepson, we'll take up occupancy on the couch. So there will be zero privacy for us. Now we're praying the motion for temporary custody goes okay but we think were in ok shape legally. We've kept it strait and narrow and no bull and hopefully that counts in our favor in the court.
Good news is the case will be heard here. My Ex tried to get jurisdiction there but she hasnt been gone long enough to establish residency. She isnt aware of the crossdressing for the most part as I hid it for so long she doesnt know much or anything about it. Maybe it's a good thing she belittled me for so long.
Strangely enough I've no wish to take her kids away from her. I just want them safe when they spend what time they do with her. Enough food. A warm bed. Proper Schooling.The last meal My daughter saiid was Krat dinner and overcooked inedible chicken nuggets. Likely because she was playing World of Warcraft rather than watching the kids or the dinner. That cant happen.
I got to hug and kiss my kids this week. That made me stronger. I am so worried I havent slept well at all.

Amanda

[cinderellaman]

Good luck to you & to your kids. They are the most important part of this whole thing.

[CD Susan]

I hope all of this works out for you. I know how much a mess all of this can be. I went through a similar divorce 15 years ago and the cd issue was brought up in court. Even though I was the one who filed for the divorce my ex tried to use this to her advantage. Our son was 9 years old at the time and it was a very traumatic experience for him. It didn't have to be that way but my ex was closed minded and intolerant of the cd issue. Being free of her is the best thing that ever happened to me, it is sad that my son had to be subjected to the whole messy ordeal. It sounds like you are using sound judgement in dealing with this. I wish you the best outcome possible for you and your children.