New direction it seems

[Kate Simmons]

I haven't been posting much lately as there have been quite a few changes occuring with me. Since I've integrated my feelings and balanced myself, I've had very little desire to dress or present myself in femme mode. Not that I don't like it, mind you, I just kind of find it unnecessary. It's not that I feel like one or the other really but kind of neutral these days and the appearance means very little since I'm always the same person inside and really feel no pressure or urgency to be one or the other.

Honestly, I never had a problem with dressing up and expressing my femme feelings. It was always the guy side that was tricky. Now with total integration as Salandra both parts come with equal ease and with equal freedom of expression. Not to mention that all the signs and metaphors are telling me this is exactly where I am supposed to be at this time as the energy is flowing freely with no restrictions and I have full confidence that everything will come to completion on schedule in that respect.

My current avatar is Queen Zenobia of Palmyra after she was taken to Rome. I have always somehow felt a very close connection with Zenobia for some reason, so it seemed appropriate to use the picture. I just wanted to let everyone know that even though I may not be actively dressing at this time, I still have a fondness for all my friends here and enjoy reading everyone's experiences. I'm not sure where things will end up for me but I'm sure it will be interesting, it always is.:)

[Stargirl]

I compare life to a roller coaster car. Two Heads mounted. One on the front end. One on the back end. And the car goes in reverse sometimes. I suppose a good ride is when both heads are happy going either way. It beats sitting in traffic burning up gasoline. If the roller coaster breaks, I will head for the fun house.

[DemonicDaughter]

My goddess is Kali, the destroyer of self-delusions. I find a great kinship with her. I know how you feel and love that you share it with us hun. The journey is always so much more enjoyable when the company is pleasant. :)

[Jilmac]

We have a small town in Wi called Palmyra and as many times as I've been there I never ran into Queen Zenobia.....LOL!

But on the seroius side, I can relate to your blending of personalities and lack of desire to dress at this time. But I also know the urge to wear something pretty and feminine never goes away completely, so when you are ready to come back en femme yous sisters will welcome you with the usual hugs and kisses. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Kate Simmons]

Thank you for your responses my friends. One thing I've been finding out with the integration is that others seem more at ease with me these days. While I use all of my feelings, they are tempered with empathy, compassion and understanding. This makes me more approachable and easier to relate to, since I don't have to put on some kind of "act" and can really be myself. It helps to know you are doing something positive and value added but the real key is appreciating others for who they are and letting them know that.:)

[CharleneCD]

Since I've integrated my feelings and balanced myself, I've had very little desire to dress or present myself in femme mode. Not that I don't like it, mind you, I just kind of find it unnecessary. It's not that I feel like one or the other really but kind of neutral these days and the appearance means very little since I'm always the same person inside and really feel no pressure or urgency to be one or the other.

Honestly, I never had a problem with dressing up and expressing my femme feelings. It was always the guy side that was tricky. Now with total integration as Salandra both parts come with equal ease and with equal freedom of expression. Not to mention that all the signs and metaphors are telling me this is exactly where I am supposed to be at this time as the energy is flowing freely with no restrictions and I have full confidence that everything will come to completion on schedule in that respect.

:)

This has been about the way i have been feeling the past 6 months or so. You are not alone.

[Maria2004]

This makes me more approachable and easier to relate to, since I don't have to put on some kind of "act" and can really be myself.

Yes! :thumbsup:

[Nicki B]

We have a small town in Wi called Palmyra and as many times as I've been there I never ran into Queen Zenobia.....LOL!

Not that you know of... ;)



This makes me more approachable and easier to relate to, since I don't have to put on some kind of "act" and can really be myself.

When you know who you are, the pressure relaxes, doesn't it? External signals are only important for making other people see you as you need to be seen? :)

[Maria2004]

When you know who you are, the pressure relaxes, doesn't it? :)

Yes, it due. :battingeyelashes:

[Suzie S.]

Sal, being comfortable and at peace with yourself is what it's all about. :) I'm glad to hear you are doing well, and enjoy reading your insightful posts. All the best to you! :hugs:

[Amy Hepker]

Salandra, it is always good to hear from you. I guess you seem more like a true female then most of us. The reason I say this is because you don't seem to experience the victory of going out dressed as you can do it anytime you want. But, you should not feel down as you have conquered and made it to your goal of being who you want to be when you want. Many of us are still trying to get out and be accepted and you have been there so many times it is natural for you. You have lost the glory of it, which is sad in a way, but I am sure you can and will find your self satisifaction. Hang in their Lady, you inspire many of us.

[deja true]

All the girls and ladies have said it already, wonderful Sal...

You'll always belong to us and now the whole wide world belongs to you, too.

When I first joined here, it was your incredibly thoughtful and insightful threads and posts that pried me out of my self imposed hiding place. You made us all think about the secret life behind the public life and your 'integration' is the goal of many.

Don't ever abandon us, dear one.

Zenobia was released from her golden chains, but you'll never be released from the chains of our

respect and love,

deja

[Daintre]

Sal, I always look forward to reading your posts, to see the person you are today emerge from where you were in the past.

[TGMarla]

It's nice to hear from you, too, Salandra. I hope it keeps going well for you.

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I have realized is that I'm on a mission here. It isn't just about looking nice and pretty but goes into the heart and soul. True freedom comes from realizing we are who we were meant to be and making the most of it in a positive and value added way. What that means to me is being myself regardless of what I look like and regardless of the expectations of others.

I can be feminine of course but I've realized we are all a strange and wonderful mix of masculine and feminine and therin lies the key of real self acceptance for myself. I cannot simply exchange one set of rules and behaviors for the other. We are all unique individuals and knowing that makes the difference and makes us who we are. This is what really makes me Salandra and I challenge all the stereotypes.

Being free to be ourselves is what it is all about my dear friends and I consider it an honor and a privilege to be here.:)

[Carly D.]

I feel like if ever I was to be outed or discovered that the thrill part of dressing up (that rush of doing something sort of wrong) would be gone.. and then would I feel like dressing anymore??.. I think I would but probably not with the same amount of excitement that was there originally... and also would I dress in public, if there was a feeling that it was ok?? Im not sure..

[DAVIDA]

Hi Sal
Miss you!
Wow! Life is a wheel, isn't it? You can either stay on the inside and spin around, or you can get on the outside and go for the ride!
Hold on tight! We know where you are riding!

[Kate Simmons]

Ya know I was dressed yesterday just to see how it would be but it was kind of different. I not only looked looked halfway decent but had all the power, charm and energy of Rich as well. I always had the mixed feelings but never expressed them openly this way. Neat to be able to tap into both "sides" at the same time. As Davida said, this is some ride and I'm really beginning to enjoy it.:)

[Di]

Ya know I was dressed yesterday just to see how it would be but it was kind of different. I not only looked looked halfway decent but had all the power, charm and energy of Rich as well. I always had the mixed feelings but never expressed them openly this way. Neat to be able to tap into both "sides" at the same time. As Davida said, this is some ride and I'm really beginning to enjoy it.:)

That is neat to tap into both sides:thumbsup: Just be yourself and seeing you are at peace with yourself you just can't get any better than that.:hugs:

[mike47]

I can fully understand what you are saying. I go through those periods also. Not as often anymore though. I can't really explain it but do understand. Take care and stay in touch.

[charlie]

I guess the difference between where you have come and where I am is experience, truth, and a complete realization of self. For me Charlie is a feminine self that comes out when I dare let her. She is my traveling weekend self. She is the great girl with the long sleek legs and frilly clothes that is hidden from view most of the time. Charles is the day to day guy that dreams of Charlie a lot, pays the bills, is a good husband, father and upstanding guy. He is also a liar though. It is almost like having an affair with yourself. Charlie may be partitioned off, but certainly is part of him!

[gennee]

Striking a balance was most important to me when I started this journey. Many go through this. I'm very happy that you found that balance, Salandra. I have also learned that things can change too. It's amazing because you think you have it figured out.

Gennee

:hugs:

[CD Susan]

Salandra, I have been a member only about three weeks now. In those short three weeks I have come to enjoy reading whatever it is you are posting about. Your unmistakable style of writing is intelectual, insightful, and witty all at the same time. I hope you are still going to be here for all of us. I consider you an inspiration and would be saddened by your departure.

[Kate Simmons]

Don't worry Susan, I'm not going anywhere. While I suppose it would be somewhat easy to fade into the "woodwork", I have no intention of doing that.The real adventure is just beginning for me. I continue to learn and am inspired by all you folks here as well. It's all about people and feelings and that is where it is at for me my friend.:)

[docrobbysherry]

While I use all of my feelings, they are tempered with empathy, compassion and understanding. This makes me more approachable and easier to relate to, since I don't have to put on some kind of "act" and can really be myself. It helps to know you are doing something positive and value added but the real key is appreciating others for who they are and letting them know that.:)

Great to hear about your latest incarnation and metamorphosis. So different from mine into Sherry, seemingly an entirely other being.
Whenever I'm not puting on an "act", I'm often accused of being either obnoxtious, and/or very self absorbed! I have a long way to go, I guess.:sad:


My goddess is Kali, the destroyer of self-delusions. :)

I remember "Kali" from the old Gunga Din movie with Errol Flynn, when I was a child. All those evil murderers with long curved knives! They all were praying to, " Kali, Kali!" Hope that movie was NOT your inspiration DD!

[crusadergirl]

I like the idea of going in a new direction sometimes you need to reinvent your self. And find out who you really are. I'm glad your doing good Sal. I also look to make a few changes when it comes to being me. It feels like i have to be one are the other when i should just be one person.