Going out in Style!!

[xdress2lady]

First I want to say that I have been a CD for 15 years. But in that time I may have never gone out in public. Of course I have worn lingerie under my guy clothes tones of times but have never gone past that. As for the “I don’t believe Disease” (which is perfect BTW!!!) , I do need to work on my lady skills a lot more. My voice would be a dead give away as well as my posture but I think that I could pass for the most part with some practice. The question to all of you ladies is what would be the best way, place, time to try this outing? How did you start off and was there any "tells" that messed you up? Any pointers or tips to blending in? I need to start small too as I think a full blown venture right off the bat would freak me out. Another issue is that I live in a small city where I would know quite a few people if I went out and I bet they could recognize me. Thirdly I work with children so I’m worried that meeting a parent along the way may cost me my job! Therefore, is this such a good idea to do here or should I go elsewhere to start? Or am I way to paranoid?:brolleyes:

There is a gay/lesbian bar in town. Would that be the right idea though? I am married and strait. I personally have not seen any other CD’s around town that I can say for sure but I know there must be some and, like me, they are not out and about. Any ideas, thoughts or comments girls would be fantastic.


Thanks Ladies;

Josie



PS: still working on my profile sorry :sad:

[Emily Anderson]

Hi xDress,

First off, I haven't ever been out... but I still have an opinion :)

I would suggest you try to hook up with a CD community and leverage that before venturing out on your own. I think it would help you to learn directly from others, and you will probably find that one or more sisters are willing to accompany you on your first outing.

As for going out in a small town, I would rather get away for at least the first few times to limit the potential exposure.

[trannie T]

In my little town I've only been out on Halloween, I go to the city frequently and am comfortable about going out there. Most cities have support groups which can be a good way to go out.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

:battingeyelashes:I have been out walking in the park with short skirts etc early in the morning hours, passed people on the paths even said hello, This year taking my walks with a wig and wearing a bra under by blouse, in the early morning hours I can safely walk. I gain confidence, someday I will walk in a mall during the day.

:battingeyelashes:But what really helps is to go to a TG Renaissance group where other women meet and socialize. I went to my first one a month ago and was greeted warmly and met some wonderfully caring people. Looking forward to the next meeting next Saturday. You gain much confidence when you are surrounded by other like minded women. You realize that your desire to dress is not just you but others as well.

:battingeyelashes:Search the web, ask others on this forum where a local TG Renaissance group is in your area.

[Alice B]

The only time I went totally out in public was to a gay bar that accepts cross dressers. I had asked around first. Simply call the bar and ask how they feels about cross dressers. Odds are that they will tell you to come on and visit and you will have a great time. There may be specific evenings that other cross dressers get together there. It is possible, but not likely that one or two might hit on you, but it won't be malicious and you will make friends and have a good time.

[marie354]

I've had a couple of things that bother me too.

1. If I don't remember to keep my voice soft and a bit higher in pitch... e.g. Use my manly voice, I'm done. It's a dead give away. But I'm getting better. (So my friend says.)

2. Sometimes my walk could be better. I don't always think about how I am walking... It's best to shift your weight from leg to leg to have a good feminine swing when you walk. I'm used to walking plop-plop like a man. I'm still working on it.

3. You should always try to keep smiling... People see you smile and it seems less threatening. (Usually women aren't as intimidating as men can be sometimes, even a wrong look can be a bad sign to some.)

Also a woman's voice raises in pitch and not in volume, almost like everything they say is a question. This helps, but it's not easy keeping that in mind all the time.

Anyway... There is a lot more to playing the part of a woman than most people realize. Maybe we should take some drama classes... (Would that help?)

Well, let me stop rambling on now...

[CD Susan]

Thanks to everyone for the good advice given here in this thread. I am working up the courage to go out more and reading threads like this one builds my confidence. Marie, I don't think you were rambling at all. If you want to see rambling you should read some of the first posts I put up on this site about a month ago.

[Shannen]

Any ideas, thoughts or comments girls would be fantastic.

Josie,

There is an Out and About forum here that will give you many idea's and tips. I've just taken the step of going out myself within the last two weeks. To answer some of your questions, I did it in cities hours away from where I live. I personally will never do it any closer, although I do take drives dressed close to home.

Perhaps that would be a good start? A "dress and drive" as we call it. You can change in the car if needed.

Don't feel like it has to be perfect the first time. I found every step of the way to be exhilirating! From wearing a skirt while driving... to wearing a skirt through a drive up, to wearing a feminine blouse and bra through the drive up, to full blown makeup, wig, heels into a WalMart!

Tells? Well, unless you never had a beard, or have removed it via laser treatments, that will be pretty hard to cover perfectly. :sad: I'm still working on ways to help with that myself!

But most of all enjoy whatever you manage to do today, tomorrow, and next week...

[JoAnnDallas]

The first time I went out en fem in the public was when I attended HEF2006 here in Dallas. It helped that

1. It was a National CD convention So I was not the only one.
2. The hotel staff knew who we were
3. The other guests also knew (sign in front lobby)

This helped put me at ease, since it was not a secret. LOL

The first time out by myself and on my own was when I stopped to fill up the SUV and at the spare of the moment decided to walk into the station store and buy a bottle of water.

Dress and drive is a fun outing.

Also joining a support group like Tri-Ess really helps.

[SindeeSissy]

If you want to find a friend to go out with try craigslist or dateacrossdresser.com.

[Kate Simmons]

It helps to find like minded folks to associate with, such as the group Kimberly mentioned that I used to be a member of. What I did was contact the local LGBT resort and ask if we were welcome there. We are, in fact they dedicate two theme weekends per year to TG/CD folks, one of which is coming up this month. The turn out gets better each year it seems. Anyway, where there is a will there is a way.:)

[Kristen Marie]

Definitely read Out and About. I have gathered sooo many helpful tips there. But I would try and go out in another town. My first time out really by myself was a drive....and it was miles and miles away. I also took little steps by paying tolls to the toll taker. And that was huge for me. And paying for coffee at a drive through. Easy things at first. But even pulling up to a traffic light, my heart would beat faster. That's why little steps are important. Filing your car up with gas...simple things take on all new meanings in a skirt!!

Also try window shoping in strip malls right around closing time. Less traffic and away from the glare of the after work crowd. Can you imagine a Payless, Dress Barn and Fashion Bug all in a row!!!

[Nina B]

I had never been out before either and I arranged a weekend getaway at a transformation studio and I had the time of my life!. The good thing about it is, I've always had only "one" person telling me how I looked? and that was my wife!. Going to someone who is a professional and doesn't see you everyday, gives you the confidence to be who you want to be. I never thought I could pass in public, but after trying on many different outfits and wigs, and with her applying the right make-up, we found the perfect look and I found myself dining out and walking around in a state park for hours!. Being many miles from my hometown helped, but someone going with you and telling you you look terrific really helps, too!.

[victoriamwilliams1]

First most GG's posture is horrible! I know my situation is that I drive 50+ miles away from home during the day at night I still have caution however I go to place that I know I would not go to in male mode.

Please note I go out every time I dress and I tower over people near 7ft with some quick glances and even if they know people do not have any poor reactions.

[Janet Nicola]

I have been CD for a long time, but its only in the last few months since I decided to stop mucking about and change sex that I have gone public.

That first step out the door in a short skirt is the most exhilerating thrill.

I have confidence issues like most pre-ops but there are a lot of none too convincing GG's out there. I have never in 6 months been harrassed. Yesterday I walked past a building site. Long blonde hair, short skirt. In response to the whistles, I checked with my hand whether or not my slip was showing. More whistles, I smiled and waved. Life is great!

Janet Nicola

[danielle_from_cal]

Hi Josie.

I doubt that there is any right answer for the best way to start going out. So much depends on your situation and the attitudes of people in the area in which you live. For me, I took it in steps. First I went into the back yard at my home in the Sacramento area. It has a very private back yard, so it was no big deal, but I was still sweating bullets. (Well, it was 100 degrees outside, so that might have contributed to the sweat!).

Then I hopped in the car and went to fill it up with gas. I wore a skort that was probably a little bit short for a lady filling up with gas, but I got some good compliments (in Mexican) from a couple of guys.

Then I went shopping at K-Mart (at dusk). I bought a couple of bras and some makeup. The girl at the checkout seemed to notice my height more than anything.

Then I went to San Francisco for a couple of days (a short drive from Sacramento) and walked around Union Square and did some shoe shopping. That was thrilling! I will never forget how my heart was beating as I rode the elevator down at the Hilton and walked through the crowded lobby.

Now I am living in Calgary, Canada part of the time (in the warmer months). I have not figured out a way to get past the security person at the gate to my community. Once I do that, I am sure that I will enjoy strutting my stuff around Calgary too.

Anyway, that's how I did it: Step by step.

[Dragster]

Hi Janet,
Just tried to send you a PM, but can't until you've got 10 posts. It's just that I'm in Cheshire, just outside Knutsford, and wanted to say "Hi, and welcome to the Forum".

Tony

[Janet Nicola]

Hi Tony, I live just outside Altrincham. Thanks for the welcome.

Janet Nicola x

[Andine]

Some great advice here ... Pick away at it, and get the bits that you are comfortable with. take it slow and easy and as the song says 'Make all the stops along the way!. The object is to have fun!

Another thought which may suit you ;-
Pick a good date and have a cross dressing party with all your friends .... None of them will ever criticise you .... particularly if you look better than they do, and you will be free to experiment in front of a great audience! That was the way I started about 10 years ago! We had a party in a ski resort and went skiing the next day with our nail polish still on! ... Fun in the coffee shop!

Enjoy the experience.

[Rachel Morley]

As others have said, CD support groups are a good place to go to for your first time as apart from getting to and coming back from them, you can just "enjoy being a girl" and if you do goof up it won't matter. :)

[renee k]

As others have said, CD support groups are a good place to go to for your first time as apart from getting to and coming back from them, you can just "enjoy being a girl" and if you do goof up it won't matter. :)

Hi Josie,

I agree with Rachel and JoAnn. When I first started going out I went to a local support group here in Detroit,(Crossroads) The folks there helped me feel at ease with myself and also allowed me network with other CD's and people who are willing to help you improve your looks. All in all it was a positive experience and gave me that little push out the door.

Huggs, Renee

[xdress2lady]

Thank you so much ladies;

Sorry it tool so long to get back to all of you! Your ideas and comments have set me at ease that this isn't as hard as I once thought. I really like the "dress and drive" idea (with a change of clothes just in case ;-) but I will have to do some final planning in that regard. I think the winter time may be best for me as there is more darker hours and I can wear a long coat to cover up to get me out the door. Maybe I can get my wife to come with!!!

At any rate, this girl is gonna step out someday so world watch out!!! Josie is coming on through!! SIGH...What a day that will be. :daydreaming:


hugs everyone


Josie

[charlie]

Josie!
The easiest trips out that I have had are the gay bars. Just call the bar and ask if a CD would be uncomfortable going there. Usually they will tell you when it would be best to come. I have been full dressed to 5 bars many times. I have never had a negative night. In fact I've gotten to know several CD like myself and gotten lots of help and hints at how to be a lady. Two of the bars that I have gone to have Drag nights where over half of the patrons there are dressed and the other half are people trying to pick them up. It is most unusual when you are a heterosexual married male! The only scary part of going to a gay bar is when you get the courage to get out of the car and walk in. It is easy and relaxed from there on. Go enjoy a night out.

[Chryl]

I have been going out since November 07, it gets easier each time, whether it is paying for gas, getting a coffee, going to a "gay" bar or picking up some food. I am told, by 5 or 6 people that I met that I am too tall (6' plus 1" heels) but looks good, very presentable and effort has payed off. I do not even try to change my voice, because I am still going to be a guy in a dress and will always be one, (even though cute with great legs:-).).

Go out, be happy with who you are and be you, it has taken me a long time to figure that out

Enjoy

Cheryl