What is your goal...

[Kate Simmons]

...as far as crossdressing? While I realize many of us just go with the flow and the feelings and wear the clothes to look nice and feel good, going out, passing, shopping, associating with like minded folks, etc., there is way more to it than just being a fashion plate. For whatever reason we do it, there is some kind of motivation involved even if we are not aware of it. If we really think about it, we can understand that motivation.

You may say:"Who cares"? , this is me and I don't need a reason and I just do it because I like it and it is a part of me. Fair enough but that kind of reasoning was never good enough for me even though I had blinders on in the beginning when I was discovering these feelings in myself and sometimes it just takes awhile to understand just why we do something.

I got to the point myself where dressing was second nature to me and it took very little effort to get ready as Sal and I established myself, made a lot of friends and was accepted for who I was. Still, there was something missing as I realized that the appearance and look for all intents and purposes was really quite shallow and only skin deep and there was more to me than that, much more and it was all about the feelings really and about who I really was inside.

The process of crossdressing can seem quite urgent at times with it's own agenda which can be somewhat confused by all of the gender aspects. I literally took that away and started just being myself in either mode and the results were quite surprising and I am now accepted either way. Although it was unclear in the beginning, my goal became understanding myself and my feelings, simple really. Funny how that works sometimes.:)

[TGMarla]

This is an interesting question in that many of us "girls" may well have some kind of goal or destination in mind. I used to think that the ultimate goal in all of this may well be SRS or something like that. I wondered what I was going to do about all of this, about these feelings that I had inside of me.

Now I don't see any of that as the end of this "journey" at all. In fact, I don't really have any goals relating to this other than finding clothes that I find pretty that I can wear around now and again. I'm quite satisfied not going out, don't want a sex change, and don't need to bump this to any "next level".

[Danicd]

A very thought provoking question. I only started fully dressing in the last year mostly because of my truly understanding and loving SO. This process for me has been a real journey into my inner self learning how to find a sense of peace within me. I have no desire to become a real female but by freeing the fem side of me has brought a certain calm to my life. For me it seems that I am forever evolving and embracing life like I have never done before.
Dani

[docrobbysherry]

My long term goal is be able to forget about dressing entirely. Or at least, not think about it constantly, as I do now.

My immediate CD goals have me moving toward ever more complex and detailed looks. Like opera divas, showgirls, models, and movie stars, (present and past). I'm constantly preoccupied with thots of new outfits, varied combinations, and how to improve my fem looks. My dressing sessions r running longer and longer, as I experiment with different set ups and staging effects! With more props involved.

It's getting " Re-goddam-diculous", as John Wayne used to say!

[Byllie]

Very interesting thread. Does one dress because it gets them closer to their goal, of being a woman? Or, as it is for me, does one dress because they'd like the freedom to wear whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted?

I mean, GGs get to wear feminine or masculine clothing whenever they wish (sort of) and no one blinks (sort of). A GG could wear either a skirt or a pair of slacks, but a guy ... ?

A guy in a skirt is not acceptable in Western society, unless we call it a kilt or something like that. Why could it not simply be a skirt?

I dress, in private, to be me. I would love, someday, to do the same in public, but fear holds me back.

[Kate Simmons]

I understand Byllie. As I mentioned, being Sal is pretty much second nature to me, so lately I've been Rich for most of the everyday goings on. When I do get dolled up to go out sometimes, I guess the feeling is similar to that of a regular gal in that she dresses casually during the day but puts on the classy "do ups" for a special occasion. For instance I went to the club last night as Sal when lately I've just been going as Rich. Everyone asked what the occasion was and I said nothing really, just felt like looking nice. Cool to have the best of both worlds like that and still be accepted.:)

[Emily Anderson]

Indeed a very interesting question!

When I was very young, I really wanted to be a girl. I remember praying at night that I would wake up having been transformed. I used to wear long hair (I HATED having it cut), and was often mistaken for a girl. My sisters would sometimes dress me up as a girl for fun at home, which I enjoyed until I grew out of it - realized I was a guy and that "guys just don't do that".

In puberty, I discovered sex, and started associating female clothing with sexual pleasure. I was (and still am) attracted to females. Seeing a girl in a pretty dress, and especially underwear would make me want to feel pretty too (at least to myself :)).

I was predominantly dressing in female underwear (in secret), until my late thirties, at which point I started taking an interest in exploring other items of clothing. It was kind of a return to my childhood, inasmuch as I wanted to be able to dress up fully as a girl, as I had enjoyed so early on in life.

I'll skip the coming out to the wife and the subsequent divorce part... to finally answer your question: My goal is to enjoy life, and part of that is having the ability to dress up without being bothered about it.

[LilSissyStevie]

Wow Emily! That's pretty much my story. Except for the divorce part. My first wife had no idea about CDing. We just divorced because we hated each other.:heehee:

As far as a goal or destination with regard to crossdressing, I guess I'm like my old blind cat. She just wanders around until she bumps into something; then she changes direction for a while. Meanwhile, she seems to find the journey interesting and enjoyable. :)

[Raychel]

Very good question. I guess my ultimate goal would be to be able to dress at home whenever I wanted. Sure it would be nice to be able to dress all the time. But realisticly I don't see that society will be at that point in my lifetime.

But if I could come home from work and get all dolled up, without the fear of getting caught by my wife, kids or family knocking on the door, then that would be heaven for me.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I think my ultimate goal which I hope to do soon is to totally ignore the environment at the mall and have a day of shopping and trying on the outfits.

My goal that may never happen id acrylic nails I do not want my nail bed filed down.

[Ruth]

It's a good question, we should all mull it over, but a goal in this matter is not mandatory. Some of us are probably just enjoying themselves.
For myself, I think there is some kind of purpose to it. My goal, as I believe Byllie said, is very much to become myself as fully as I can understand it. Wearing the clothes of the opposite sex seems to be part of the process. I doubt it's an end in itself.
Also, I know I'm basically a man, so hormones or surgery to make me physically resemble a woman would be no help.

[melissacd]

After 48 years of denial, anger and repression, my goal is to become a complete person again. Part of that journey includes embracing and expressing my feminine attributes. I know that I will never be a candidate for SRS because I am very much a male, however, in terms of how I like to express myself - that is a whole other matter. I feel most at peace when dressed in femme clothing, it speaks to my creative soul, there is a rightness about how it feels, something that I have never achieved when dressed in male mode. Perhaps dressing en femme feels like a validation of a part of me that has been suppressed so long and has always wanted to share in being a part of my life. Wearing the clothes is a way of saying that it is alright to allow that part of who I am into the world.

My long term goal is to find the point on the gender needle that feels like the right place for me and then construct my life around that reality. For now it is exploration, pondering and learning.

Huggs
Melissa

[Byllie]

My long term goal is to find the point on the gender needle that feels like the right place for me and then construct my life around that reality.

And to have the courage to stay there.

[Dragster]

I have an immediate goal to get my wife to the point of understanding me and my CD tendency, and accepting that it's a part of me, even if she never wants to see it. Anything more than that, support, participation, encouragement, would be a welcome bonus.

Additional goals from a dressing point of view would include wig, make-up skills, fully dress at home, get out of the house dressed, occasional outings with my wife. And that's as far as I want to go. I don't want to give up my male activities, and don't want anyone else to know.

Tony

[Andine]

I think I agree with Emily
I don't take myself too seriously, but I find that I'm more popular as Andine than as Andrew. I'm getting much faster at changing, I'm getting a huge buzz out of it.

Last w/end I had to walk thru a gauntlet of Yobbo guys who jeered at me as a woman ... Thank Chrst that they didn't pick me as a guy in a skirt, or I would probably be in hospital!

Regards

[CD Susan]

After reading literaly hundreds of posts on this and related topics I have come to this conclusion. I regard myself as being fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. The being fortunate aspect is that I am single, live alone, and am retired. I have the opportunity to dress whenever I choose to and am very grateful to have that opportunity. This has only been my situation for 13 years, before that I lived with the same restraints as most cd's who do not have the living arrangements that I do now. Living this way is a wonderful thing but there is something lacking in my life. I live with the fears and apprehensions of a closet cd but desperately want to escape from the confines of that closet. I want to be able to freely go wherever and whenever I want to wearing the clothing that I choose to wear not the clothing that society dictates that I must wear. Some of you may be thinking if that is what you want then just do it. It is not that simplistic of an option for me. I have to put a lifetime of a way of life behind me and start a new way of living. It is my goal to achieve just that and joining this website was my first step in realizing that goal. In the four weeks that I have been a member here I have recieved an unbelievable amount of understanding and encouragement from so many of you. For that I am so very grateful and want to thank every one of you. Hopefully in the near future I will look back on this time and remember it as a turning point in my life. The feelings that I have expressed here are so strong that a change in my life must be inevitable.

[sterling12]

My "goal" is to join with The Saucer People and become The Queen of Outer Space!

Sorry, still trying to recover from being told that I am visited by a "Curse," (see other posting.)

Seriously, to try and make Joanie as complete as she can be. To accept and love my femme self. To further our noble effort, and get us some "propers" from the General Public. To help others who are transgendered, and to make their first outings as special as they were for me.

Now, pardon me, I have to go practice in my gold lame' Queen Gown and wave my magic scepter. I think I look just like Zsa Zsa Gabor!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Suzie S.]

Good question Sal. :doh: I'm supposed to have a goal? Kidding aside, I'm really not sure I have one. It's also possible I've reached it and not even know it yet. I just enjoy what I'm doing, thats pretty much it. :)

[danielle_from_cal]

I set my goals one at a time. I have achieved a lot over the past couple of years, with respect to crossdressing. Within the next year I would like to attend one crossdressing convention and meet some other crossdressers in person.

[Jennaie]

Well stated Salandra. My goal is much broader than just dressing, it's more about becoming myself without the need for accessories of any kind, be it fancy house, car, clothing...

Have I reached it? Not by a long shot. I still love panties and being the girl. LOL

[Patrice]

Recently Ive had a lot of death in my life, cancer count in my immediate family is up to 7 with only 2 survivors (one being me). This has served as a mighty reminder of the impermanence of life, and the simple fact that Goals are illusions. Notice the big 'G', certainly there are many small waypoints on the journey through this life, but there is no flag at the end. We all end it the same way regardless of what steps we take to get there.

Maudlin philosophizing out of the way . . . . .

The crossdressing I do is just me being me. Life is entirely too short to spend it conforming solely to the standards and expectations of others. As long as I fulfill my responsibilities at work, and present myself publically in a conservative and unoffensive manner, it matters not that my nails are polished and earrings are feminine and long. Its no ones business if Im wearing a bra or not or if my hairstyle is decidedly feminine. In fact its one of my years end 'waypoints' to explore the possibility of wearing long skirts to work instead of pants.

I hate labels, any and all. They are just artifacts of language that are used to divide, pigeon-hole, and classify so we can point to them and say 'see the others, they are less than us'. Im trying to live my life beyond them, in that wide-open area we dream of, where there are no 'men' or 'women'.

Just Humans Being.

[Karren H]

I have no crossdressing goals.... that way I never get disappointed when they are not achieved....hehehe Just getting out enfemme every week is what I enjoy. As long I'm happy doing what I love to do, who needs goals?

Ohhh Ok I want to score a hat trick ..... A natural one.... in the same period.... same shift.... Ohhh yeah and in a wedding gown... :D

[Laurelanne]

Sal, no truer words were ever uttered I used to panic when younger and yoou know as the years went on and i traversed from in the closet to back out and so on and so on i realized now over the past 5 years that Just to be myself no matter what and I agree you know whats happened ... it doesnt seem to matter what mode im in Femme or not Im accepted because... i am myself. Its a dam shame it took THIS long to realize it. Keep up the good work
" Genetics is just a STATE of Mind"

[Carly D.]

My goal is to get the "biscuit in the basket"... ummmm I'm not really sure what my goal is as far as cross dressing because my feelings are changing from what was a few short years ago being fully dressed as often as possible to now just wearing what I want from my waist down..

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve got a simple goal really Sal.
I just want to be finally happy with who i am!!