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JoAnnDallas
05-04-2008, 09:43 PM
forgive the long post but I just had to tell everyone about this weekend.

This has been a very interesting weekend for me. It all started two weekends ago, when my wife volunteered to work the local library book sale. She was to work the 12-3PM slot. Up to then, we had this understanding that I could get dressed and even go out, as long as she did not see me fully dressed or knew. So having a three hour window, I decided to get dressed and go over the to local ROSS store. They were having a big sale that weekend. So I get dress and as I walk into the garage, I come face to face with my wife. It turns out that she was supposed to work the 3-6PM slot, not the 12-3PM slot. Back into the house we go and sit down across from each other at the kitchen table. We sat there and talked for way over a hour. At one point she tells me, that I look nice and at least I am not wearing a mini-skirt, fishnet stockings, and 5” spike high heels. I explain that first that is not my style and the last thing I want is to be noticed when I go out dressed. I got the sense that she had a preconceived idea of what crossdresser looked like and that was of either a **** or a drag queen. I think seeing me dressed as I was, lessen some of the fear she had of my CDing. I am sure now that that talk has helped her become more tolerant and accepting of me being a CDer. She wanted to know how much clothing I have, so I take her into the computer room and pull the two big boxes off the shelf and show her what I have. I guess what she saw must have pleased her, because she points to an empty set of plastic bins and says, “Why don’t you put you clothing items in the bins.” I say, “OK” and we walk back to the kitchen. Remember I am still dressed this whole time too. LOL We talk some more and agree that she still does not want to see me fully dressed and when she volunteers again at the library or will be gone for more than two hours that she will take her cell phone with her. This way she can alert me when she is ready to drive home. I asked her if it would be OK for me to wear my Pink Satin PJ’s to bed. She says OK. So for the next two weeks I have been wearing them and panties in the evening and to bed. She knows that it is a form of CDing but sense I don’t have a wig or makeup on, I am not fully dressed and she over looks it. Then this last Saturday evening, which is the 1st Saturday of the month, is my monthly Tri-Ess meeting night. Normally my wife has MS water aerobics on this Saturday afternoon, last Friday evening she informs me that the pool heater was broken, so class was canceled. I reply that I have a Tri-Ess meeting the next evening. She replied, “So, you can still go to your meeting”. One of our agreements is that she does not want to see me fully dressed even after she accidentally saw me fully dressed two weekends ago. So how do I get dressed and get to the garage without her seeing me? It turns out that we have three doors that lead to the patio, one from the den, one from the living room and one from the master bedroom. Thus I could get dressed and go thru the door from the bedroom to the patio, out the patio gate, thru the fence gate, and to the garage. I mention to my wife I could close the bedroom door, get dressed; go to the garage via this route. She says OK.
So Saturday evening I take everything into the master bathroom, close the master bedroom door, and get ready. As I am getting ready, I realize I am a little nervous because my wife is also in the house. After checking myself for the fifteenth time in the mirror, I open the bathroom door. As I walk into the bedroom, my wife is sitting on the bed. I look at her dumb founded because I was not expecting her to be there. I find my voice and ask her why she is sitting there. She replied “I want to see you dressed?” She then tells me to turn all the way around slowly. So I do and she gets off the bed, comes up to me, checks my makeup, and as she walks into the bathroom says, “Have a nice evening”. I am dumb founded as I watch the bathroom door close. So I decided no sense going to the garage via the patio, so I walk thru the house to the garage.
I go to my meeting and I tell the girls what has happen over the last two weeks. They are thrilled for me and keep telling me to stay calm, don’t push her and let her go at her own pace. This morning at breakfast, my wife starts asking questions about my meeting. In the past she has never asked about my Tri-Ess meetings. It was like they did not exist. So I ask her what she wants to know about. She wanted to know, how many ladies were there, what we talked about, what we do at the meetings, and etc. So I tell her all about the meeting. I decide not to leave anything out. She sits there eating and not saying anything, but looking at me the whole time. She is surprised that some wives are at the meeting. Then she shocked me by saying, “Do I need an invite too attend one of your meetings”. I tell her No, that as long as I am a member, she is welcome to attend. She then says, “Well, I might go with you sometime then”. I am so shocked at this, that all I can say is “OK”.
I know everyone keeps telling me to take baby steps and go at the pace of your wife. The other girls at my Tri-Ess meeting told me the same thing last night. Well it is a little unsettling when your wife makes such drastic move like mine is doing. We finish breakfast and notice we are out of kitty litter, so off to Wally World we go. We pass by the shoe department and she decides that she wants some new sandals. She shocks me again by saying, “looks like they are having a shoe sale see anything you like to have?” I prefer Payless over WalMart and don’t really see anything I liked. As we continue on shopping, we pass by the woman’s section. As we do, my wife surprises me by saying, “You know it would be cheaper at a resale or second hand shop and many times you can get brand new items too and if you want, I can go with you .” I actually stopped right in my tracks. I could not believe what I just heard. She then surprised me again by asking where I got the lace LBD I have. I told her back in 2005 my sister was having a clothing drive for her church and it was among the items and when I found it fit me well, I decided to keep it. She replies that it is very pretty and with the black slingbacks I have, would be appropriate for some events. By the time we finally get checked out and back to the car, I am numb with disbelief. LOL
After dinner my wife changes into her PJ’s, robe, and slippers for the evening. I decide to do the same too. I walk into the living room to watch TV with her and she says, “Is that the only pair of satin PJ’s you have?” I say, “Yes, why”. She repiles, “Well you really need a second pair, so you can alternate with the wash. What size are they?” I tell her Large and she says while she is out tomorrow to her Weight Watchers meeting, she will stop at a local resale shop and see what they have.” All I can say is, “OK”.
So her I sit here writing all this still numb with disbelief about the whole weekend. I can hardly believe how accepting she is becoming.
All I can say ladies, is if you do tell your wife, be prepared for the unexpected and go with the flow. I am still going with the flow. Where it will take me, I have no idea. I feel extremely lucky because it could have very well turn out really bad as some of you know from your own experiences. If you get lucky like I have, enjoy the blessing and make sure you return the blessing to your wonderful wife.

RockerTerri
05-04-2008, 10:19 PM
Hooray for you and your wife! Sounds to me like once her preconception of a "crossdresser" was dispelled that she is pretty relieved, and maybe even a bit happy? Definately dont push her, but it dosent sound like youll have any need at all for that!

Terri

DawnL
05-04-2008, 10:38 PM
Your head must be spinning.

Talon DeRojo
05-04-2008, 10:47 PM
JoAnn - Thanks so much for sharing your recent experiences. I'm so glad that things are turning out so well and at such a rapid pace. Keep us posted for any new developments. Gee, reading your post didn't take much time at all and was well worth it.
Talon:)

Princess29
05-05-2008, 01:12 AM
wow, no wonder your head is spinning. That is so cool Joann, congratulations

jessikasummerfox
05-05-2008, 01:34 AM
Joann, this all so great and inspiring to read too! I hope it continues to go well for you. :)

LoriTG
05-05-2008, 01:45 AM
Did you ever ask her why the drastic change of events?

Andine
05-05-2008, 01:55 AM
Must be your lucky week!!

Good for you! .... Hope it works for you both!!

Next you will be telling her about this forum, and she will be here chatting with the rest of us nut cases!!

Love it!!

regards

RobynB
05-05-2008, 05:41 AM
Congradulations.

renee k
05-05-2008, 05:58 AM
Good for you! I'm really happy for you, Joann! I hope she continues to gain an understanding of crossdresing. Tri-Ess meetings are a great way to do that. And to meet and talk with other SO's. Once again I hope all goes well for you.

Huggs, Renee

Mary Morgan
05-05-2008, 06:10 AM
JoAnn, I am so very happy for you and for your wife. Your story gives me faith that a miracle may be in my own future. It sounds to me like you are proving the old adage that it is best to let the wife take the lead and that good things come to those who wait. Congratulations on the new element to your relationship. Now buy her some kind of a thank you, perhaps some new satin PJs?

Ruth
05-05-2008, 06:55 AM
That is a beautiful story. What comes out of it for me is that your wife had a lot of unfounded fears about CDing and when she saw the reality, it was with a kind of relief.
I have had a similar experience with my wife. When she first found out, she had to cope with her fear that I was going to go full time female and have a sex change -- basically her fear was that she would lose me. I reassured her that this was not so, and with time (18 months) and seeing no progression in my CDing habits, she is prepared to believe that this is a kind of status quo.
She is now OK with the whole CDing idea, and will even make fun of me if she thinks a style is not working on me. The other night she told me my new dress made me look pregnant!

Mary Jane
05-05-2008, 07:23 AM
After having read of your experience a couple of weeks ago and now reading this, all I can say is that I am dumbfounded also. I know your head felt like it was spinning from all the good things that happened over the weekend. Be sure to do something special for your WONDERFUL wife. I wish my wife would come around like that. I am not jealous but very happy for you both.

Chari
05-05-2008, 07:42 AM
Congratulations to both of you for your understanding and acceptance of each other! Continue to go slow, tell the truth, and always do something nice and unexpected for her! Your wife has become a true "gem" in your life! Perhaps soon you will be doing things as girlfriends. Thanx for sharing this adventure in your life.

Enjoy life, Chari

Shannen
05-05-2008, 07:46 AM
Wonderful! I would certainly follow up some day on the LBD+slingbacks comment. Sounds like she had an outing in mind... :o

TGMarla
05-05-2008, 07:48 AM
Wow! I'm glad things are working out for you. This is a pretty terrific turn of events. I've always wondered what the sequence of events would be if my wife ever came home while I was fully dressed. If that ever happens, I hope I'm wearing something real pretty. Geez, what a dumb thing to say! But I've often thought it. Thanks for sharing your story.

TerriM
05-05-2008, 08:22 AM
Wow! What a great story. My wife has known over 25yrs, we are married 36, and still has no interest in my femme side. May I ask how long you are married and how long has she known about your femme side? You are very lucky and my advice it to continue to go slow and go at her pace. And also tell her how much you love her.
Yours terri

suzanne
05-05-2008, 08:29 AM
Wonderful story! Congratulations! This is exactly why we need to go at the SO's pace around this issue. I think most non-Cd's have this Drag Queen caricature in the back of their minds and to me, it's an ugly one. The reality sinks in only very slowly and that's what happened for you, you lucky, lucky girl! You give us all hope. Have fun and give your wife a hug for all of us.

Michelle-NC
05-05-2008, 08:32 AM
Congrats! Sounds like things are going great for you, and your wife!!! It is soooo much more enjoyable, when you don't have to hide anything, and I know your wife knew, but even then, you couldn't fully show you were interested in the same shoes as her....but now you can ...

JoAnnDallas
05-05-2008, 08:54 AM
Thank you all for your lovely comments........I am still having trouble understand what all happened this weekend. The only thing I can figure out is two weekends ago, she realized that it was not going away, I did not want to transistion, and I was not trying to make a fool of myself while dressed and out in the public. Having come to that conclusion, I think she may have decided that it's not as bad as she thought and by suggesting to her that I would keep the bedroom door closed and going thru the patio so that she would not have to see me fully dressed showed that I was not trying to force it on her. Why she broke her own rule by waiting for me to come out of the bathroom, I don't know but I'm not regreting it. LOL I guess seeing me over the last two weeks, wearing my Satin PJ's , robe, and slippers at night and seeing that it was still me, made her feel better about all of it.
I am still a little shy about a lot of this. Guess that is natural as I have been hiding all this for so long. As for the comment about my LBD, I think she really like the style. It is your basic black knee length dress but has an overlay of black lace from neck to helm. It really does look elligant and tasteful. She is right about the slingbacks as I wore the dress and shoes to HEF2006 for the formal evening we had. BTW, wife doesn't know about HEF2006 and I thought it was best not to bring it up. One of the wives at the meeting suggested that I tell her about the private chat site our Chapter has for the wives only, but another wife said No to that for the time being. She said it would be better to allow my wife to become more used to me before telling her. Maybe if my wife does decided to really come with me to a meeting.
Our son called late last night and said that he was going to be working setting up a new store in a town right near us for the next three weeks. His hotel is only 10 minutes away, so looks like he will be around for the next three weeks. That's going to put a crimp in my style. LOL Wife thought my reaction was really funny.

Angie G
05-05-2008, 09:16 AM
I have that blessing with my wife and I am so glad to get the news that your wife is moving along so quickly. That womam needs some roses hun.:hugs:
Angie

Christie ann
05-05-2008, 09:20 AM
too cool.

Sinthia
05-05-2008, 07:20 PM
WOW!!! The only thing that comes to mind is WOW!!! You are so lucky now. I hope that you buy flowers for your sweetie.

Raychel
05-06-2008, 01:40 AM
Sounds like you really have a good thing going there. Maybe her seeing you was a good thing. Gave you a chance to rule out the preconcieved image that she probably had about crossdressers. And a chance to see just how much you enjoy dressing.

:thumbsup::thumbsup:

karinels
05-06-2008, 02:00 AM
i had similar experience with my last love. all i can say is cherish her. like some others advised, always do special things for her. listen to her, learn what she wants from you by listening, truly listening. watch her body language, and learn that as well. simply put, it is a 2 way street, and doing special things for each other will provide happiness for the both of you, and will create a love between the two of you that can never be broken. i wish you and her the best.

DanaR
05-06-2008, 02:14 AM
Congratulations JoAnn, that is very cool. You might find that when your wife attends a meeting with you, she could feel more comfortable about everything. Like was mentioned, go slow and tell her the truth.

JoAnnDallas
05-06-2008, 09:36 AM
I took her to "Olive Garden" for dinner Sunday night as a Thank you. Last friday I was in a car accident. A F150 hit me from the rear. No one was hurt, but yesterday the insurance company decided to total the SUV, since it was going to cost more to repair than it was worth. So wife is thrilled, she gets a new car too. LOL

paulaluvssz8
05-06-2008, 09:49 AM
That is great. I am glad that your wife is coming around. Good luck and keep it at her pace.:)

Jammie
05-06-2008, 10:24 AM
Hi Girls
I hope my wife is that good to me when she fines out
Jammie

JoAnnDallas
05-06-2008, 12:37 PM
Jammie.......I told my wife last year I was a CDer. Her reaction at the time was she did not want to see me dressed and I could have one Saturday afternoon for myself. This was the status until 2 weeks ago, when she accidently saw me fully dressed. It is clear now that she had a lot of preconceived notions and fear about her husband being a CDer. When she saw me fully dressed, I think a lot of those concerns vanished. As we continued to talk, I think her fears also started to vanish and now it's not such a bad thing, even a fun thing is some respects. LOL I also think she is enjoying pulling my chain on this with some of her recent attics and remarks.

If you have not told you wife, I hope when you do that she responds as well as mine has. It has taken almost a whole year to get to where wife and I are at now, with 98% of it coming in the last two weeks.

JoAnnDallas
05-07-2008, 08:54 PM
It is amazing that I have over 3,000 posts when you consider that I had to sneak around to read, reply, and post on this website over the last three years. Now that my wife accepts me, I can now openly logon and read/reply and post without having to quickly switch pages and such. In fact just a few minutes ago, she walks into the computer room while I had this site up reading. I start to scroll down to the next message and she sys, "Stop scrolling, I'm not finished reading". So I wait and she says, "OK done". I ask her if she would like to get her own account and she says, "Naw, I'll just read yours". LOL

tamela bell
05-07-2008, 09:26 PM
you have a really great wife. mine lets me wear a dress heels hose and jewlery but still doesnt want to see me in make up and nail polish.