Gender specific events

[noname]

Am I the only one that is offended by gender specific events? Such as, wife says, hey I'm going over to the smiths house for games. Cool can I come? Sorry, it's just us girls. What is the deal with things like parties and baby showers that guys are not allowed? Does anyone find it offensive? It bothers me, and not just a little. I'm guessing it's how a black person would feel if they were told it's a whites only party. In my mind it's no different. Interesting, guys can't attend a baby shower but they sure don't mind accepting a gift the wife bought with his money.

For the record, I don't have guys nights out. I don't drink and I don't smoke and I don't like sports. I've always gotten along better with women than men. They are much better conversationalist and in general better company.

[Satrana]

I don't mind when it is a private affair but I do mind if it happens in public places. There are more and more instances of women saying they feel uncomfortable to have men around and requesting women-only events which is gender discrimination.

We seem to be going backwards as a society. Women brought down men-only clubs and forced their way in despite the mens' discomfort. Get used to it was their motto. Exactly why some women feel they have a special privilege to exclude men dumbfounds me.

[noname]

Good point Satrana. Kind of like how the women having a YWCA wasn't good enough. I believed they sued to use the WMCA. As for baby showers, I can't count the number of times I've heard something like, " All the women are invited to the smiths baby shower today at 2:00 pm." Though I will say that has been changing, or so the trend seems.

I don't mind being excluded from an event per say, but to be excluded specifically because of gender does bother me.

[Kate Simmons]

No, it doesn't bother me. Gals need that special time together sometimes for bonding, fun and just plain escape. In any case, so called "hen" parties are not for the faint of heart and it takes a special kind of guy indeed to survive one. Believe me when I tell you if you were invited to attend, you would get the edited version. Just one of those proprietery things that it's understood we don't insist on going to unless invited.;):)

[VikkiVixen7188]

I wouldnt get bent up about it. When girls go to do girl things they usually mean they are going to talk about genitic girl specific cycles. Thats what my experience has been anyway. At anyrate dont worry about it. They do their thing and you do yours.

[azalea]

Whenever I'm at a party with a certain group of friends all the girls lock themselves in a bedroom or something for the sole purpose of excluding men. They'll even say, "You have a penis! You're not allowed in!"

I don't know, stuff like that just really hurts me.

[Dalece]

Well Let them As for us We should not let GG in when we have a Cd thing It should be Girls with Penis only. It is only fair.

[Kieron Andrew]

you wouldnt expect to invite a bunch of masculine beer swigging hairy men to a feminist rally would you?

Hen Party for girls, Bachelor Party for boys?

Gender Specific events have their place

[vivianann]

For the record, I don't have guys nights out. I don't drink and I don't smoke and I don't like sports. I've always gotten along better with women than men. They are much better conversationalist and in general better company.[/QUOTE]

Hi Noname I dont get offended but I would like to be one of the ladies at a baby shower, or some girls night out party, I have been invited to girls night out parties as Vivian, i was wonderful to be one of the girls.
I love your quote for the record, because that is exactly how I am, I dont drink or smoke, and I have never liked sports, and I prefer to be in the company of women, because I can relate with women really well.

[TGMarla]

I really don't want to go to baby showers. Not at all. If the girls want to get together, let them. I think seperate genders have the right to congregate. This goes for men as well.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

To me there is a difference between a womens only event and whites only event. I don't consider not being allowed to go to baby shower the same as if I were told "whites only".

It does not bother me if my wife does not want me to go with her to a baby shower. wedding shower etc. I understand if I were in male mode how I could make GG feel uncomfortable when topics such as breast feeding, cramps etc come up. :2c:

[Lucy Bright]

you wouldnt expect to invite a bunch of masculine beer swigging hairy men to a feminist rally would you?


Er, why not - if they were feminists? Though I'd rather they weren't swigging beer at the time.

It doesn't make much practical difference to me as I'm not much of a one for organized events, but at an emotional level I too feel excluded - even though I've no particular wish to go a hen (or stag) do. (Baby showers don't exist here in the UK, as far as I know.) Part of my problem is that I don't feel I belong at men-only events either - which leaves me feeling kinda homeless! Or would do, if I was more clubbable.

In general, I think making things sex-specific is usually unnecessarily exclusive, whether it's done because of unconsidered assumptions (such as the 'Mums and Toddlers' groups to which I didn't exactly feel invited when I was bringing up my children), or deliberately. A good example of the latter is the forthcoming "Race for Life" - an annual women-only fun run is organized by a cancer charity here. I've never understood why this has to be restricted to women - especially as, if there were more participants, it would almost certainly raise more money to fight cancer. The explanation on the FAQ section of their website reads:

"We restrict entry to women due to the wishes of our participants. It is one of our most successful events because it is a unique opportunity for women to come together in a non-competitive and celebratory atmosphere."

As for the first sentence I say a big old sceptical 'Hmmm'. In the nature of things the participants change ever year, and the ones I've talked to have not been asked to express their wishes on the matter. So that just isn't true - and even if it were, it's not essentially different from members of some male-only club saying they'd rather not let women in, and look how well that's played over the last 20 years! As for the rest, the clear implication is that men would spoil it by being over-competitive and unable to let anything just be fun. Well, maybe some would (and are there no competitive women?), but to tar everyone with that brush is plain sexism.

There are plenty of events where it is much more likely that you're going to get either men or women attending - say, car rally vs feminist rally - but to enshrine that likely difference in rules that say only one sex may attend is not good. Maybe I feel it more than most because of being transgender, but my instinct is that it's divisive all round.

Kisses,

Lucy

[JoAnnDallas]

One thing about the company I work for is last year we had our first pregency. The company gave the lady a baby shower and all of us both male and female were invited. I told my wife about it and she helped me pick out a baby shower gift. We had the lunch time party and it was great.
I have heard of baby showers where the husband was attending, but no other husbands were there. Wedding showers are kinda like baby showers. It seems mostly only women go to them too except the grown it there.
Believe it or not, but women can get just as raunchy as men. I have heard of baby/wedding showers where sexual gag gifts were given and intertainment (male strippers) was the highlite of the event.

[Angie G]

I do like to go fishing and hunting and a bachelor party and like that no girls are there. And my wife can have her time also. :hugs:
Angie

[docrobbysherry]

After about an hour of listening to women going on, " ---and then she told him about the new car she wanted. So he said, bla, bla, bla---", I've had enough!

Men r no better. " Hey, did u see how many points Kobe got last nite? We kicked their butts!". And, " Yeah, our new SUV can haul all our toys better than our old crapper. Pulls the boat like it's nothing! Woof!"

Please! Regardless of the sex of the participants, I prefer very small groups where u can get more intimate and personal! Which often takes time to relax and get comfortable for many folks.

[traceyanne]

ive seen some of these female only bashes, hen nights and the like and i can tell you they can keep them, when they get together they can be a lot worse than a group of guys. does not bother me in any way being not invited to such outings

[Stargirl]

As a GG, I have been invited to both wedding showers, and baby showers. I always declined. I couldn't "get with the essence" of what they were trying to celebrate. And I wouldn't want to hear some giddy little woman chiding ME for my "failure" to "nab a man and concieve as soon as possible." I don't need cake and coffee that badly. And as for the "men only" parties. Let them go at it with all the maleness available to them. Let them scratch and sniff, high five, burp, wager, gross each other out. I will go fly a kite, or head to Vegas with a gigilo.

[melissacd]

It is quite possible that we may not find a particular event is to our liking, we may not like the topic of conversation or we may prefer a more intimate sized group...all this being said, it would be nice to have the choice to attend or not. Exclusive groups are making assumptions about potential attendees without knowing anything about them. So long as the person is respectful of the group then there should be no reason that they should not be able to attend if that is what they choose to do.

[Deborah Jane]

Maybe we should have "Trans" only events!!!
After all, we are supposedly the "third" gender!!:D

[Kate Simmons]

Funny thing was I was "allowed" to attend a baby shower when I was about 10. When they passed around the ribbons tied together from all the gifts, I ended up getting two knots. They all laughed and I wondered what the "joke" was. When I asked my Aunt, she said to have my Dad tell me about the "birds and the bees." When I did find out what getting a knot meant, I was not amused, rather downright disappointed.:straightface:

[Lucy Bright]

What does it mean to get a knot? Now I'm curious.

Kisses,

Lucy

[Joy Carter]

What does it mean to get a knot? Now I'm curious.

Kisses,

Lucy


"To Tie The Knot" =Marriage

[Kieron Andrew]

Maybe we should have "Trans" only events!!!
After all, we are supposedly the "third" gender!!:D

There are already events like these all over the UK:heehee:

[Billie Jean]

I do like to go fishing and hunting and a bachelor party and like that no girls are there. And my wife can have her time also. :hugs:
AngieI agree. I work with a bunch of women and sometimes just like to get away and do guy things. Billie Jean:drink:

[trannie T]

I don't care a bit about being excluded from baby and wedding showers. I can happily live the rest of my life without going to a Tupperware party. A lingerie party on the other hand. . . .

[Deborah Jane]

There are already events like these all over the UK:heehee:

Mmm...Maybe i should get out more!!

[victoriamwilliams1]

You could throw in this scenario, Your told it girls only and your invited as long as your one of the girls.

Personally I have looked in on those events nd they are just as bad as the guy only events thats bachelor parties. Baby Showers I think we should have our own when our spouse has hers and if you want a bachelorette party have one.

[DemonicDaughter]

First off, it use to be illegal for people of color to attend a "whites only" function. Men aren't arrested for attending baby showers.

Second... would you REALLY want to go? The reason many of these events are "women only" is because the topic of discussion is usually very.. ummm.. intimate. Baby showers have endless talk about what it does to your body, what to expect and a lot of graphic "pointers" for the mom-to-be. Bridal showers were the tradition of "preparing the bride" and its still customary to present the bride with intimate apparel. I really don't think the bride would want you seeing the teddy she is going to wear on the wedding night.

Third, trust me when I tell you, its not all its cracked up to be. I tend to find a lot of "male bashing" going on when its "girls' night" just as my male friends do when its "just the guys". I don't attend these functions either. Like StarGirl, I have no interest in them. If I can't go with my SO, whether she wishes to attend or not, I don't want to go.


As a GG, I have been invited to both wedding showers, and baby showers. I always declined. I couldn't "get with the essence" of what they were trying to celebrate. And I wouldn't want to hear some giddy little woman chiding ME for my "failure" to "nab a man and concieve as soon as possible." I don't need cake and coffee that badly. And as for the "men only" parties. Let them go at it with all the maleness available to them. Let them scratch and sniff, high five, burp, wager, gross each other out. I will go fly a kite, or head to Vegas with a gigilo.

I've got my kite and am waiting for you in the car dear. :D

[DeeDeeB]

I'm not particularly offended by exclusive clubs or activities, but I have no particular interest in attending them either. I find I have very little in common with those people who like that kind of thing.

I've been to a couple of baby showers this year with my SO, and one was bad, the other good fun. I've also been to Pampered Chef parties, which makes sense since I do half the cooking. I don't go out drinking with the guys, and don't even know any guys that do that. I did put on a couple of great bachelor parties back before I got married, but we kept them open to anyone, male or female, except the brides to be. :)

Since my SO and I agree on this, it's not a problem for us. We are both free to go to girls only or guys only things, we just prefer not to.

[KimberlyS]

...For the record, I don't have guys nights out. I don't drink and I don't smoke and I don't like sports.

Maybe you need to start a guys/CDers night out or something. Have a shopping night or drag bowling night. Get creative. Why not. We all need some time away from home and our families. Get involved in something.

I just do not get why some MTF CDers seem to need to invade every part of a GG's life and space. We are cross dressers not genetic women. Give them the respect they deserve.

Ever think maybe our wifes, GFs and SOs would like a little space of their own with out us.

p.s. TS's not included in the GG space comment.

[paulaluvssz8]

I personally don't want to go to baby showers and things like that. I would rather have the time to stay home and stab myself in the eye or something.... JK. No I take the time to get on here and see what all of you gurls are up to. And if she is gone for a lengthy time then I can get all dressed up and well whatever I want.

[MJ]

The reason many of these events are "women only" is because the topic of discussion is usually very.. ummm.. intimate. Baby showers have endless talk about what it does to your body, what to expect and a lot of graphic "pointers" for the mom-to-be. Bridal showers were the tradition of "preparing the bride" and its still customary to present the bride with intimate apparel. I really don't think the bride would want you seeing the teddy she is going to wear on the wedding night.
Third, trust me when I tell you, its not all its cracked up to be. I tend to find a lot of "male bashing" going on when its "girls' night" just as my male friends do when its "just the guys". I don't attend these functions either. Like StarGirl, I have no interest in them. If I can't go with my SO, whether she wishes to attend or not, I don't want to go.



as for the "men only" parties. Let them go at it with all the maleness available to them. Let them scratch and sniff, high five, burp, wager, gross each other out. [B]I will go fly a kite, or head to Vegas with a gigilo.

Vagas sounds fun can i tag along ..you can have the gigilo i'll hit the slots
remember we all need our space what ever floats your boat

[Seville]

I get upset when we use public money to
fund either "Women Only" or "Men Only"
events.

[DemonicDaughter]

Vagas sounds fun can i tag along ..you can have the gigilo i'll hit the slots

the gigolo is StarGirl's, I'm just along for the adventure so you're more than welcome :D