Should I tell my brother?

[Andrea85]

Well, I'm adopted and my brother and I have seen each other once or twice in our lives. He contacted me, recently and he has lost his job and is in need of a place to stay. He's trying to get on somewhere else, so it wouldn't be a long stay. That's where the problem lies. I dress on a daily basis. Honestly, it feels weird whenever I don't get to. I know it would be bad to just say no to him, but I couldn't go without being en femme every day. So, back to my question. Should I tell him? If so, how would I? The only person I've told that couldnt just tell, it didn't go well. Any suggestions are greatly apreciated. Thanx, April.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

Tell him you know someone with a room, but he's a crossdresser. (:
See how he reacts.

[TGMarla]

If you want to tell him, well, that's your business. Consider carefully just how he will take it. You don't have to tell him, and you can confine your CDing to times when he's not at home, or late at night around bedtime. But he's your brother, and your putting your CDing above him is a bit selfish, I think. So you can't parade around the house all the time in high heels? I think you would live through it for a short spell.

Just be sure to politely enforce the fact that this would not be a permanent situation, and that he would need to get his act together and find his own place. But he's your brother. He's more important than your CDing.



:stirthepot: (I'm not really trying to stir the pot, I just wanted to use it cuz it looks cool!)

[Andrea85]

I know I shouldn't put it above him, but I don;t like the way I feel if I can't get dressed. I really need some suggestions quick please. I really need to tell him something soon. I'm just nervous about telling him if I have to. Thanks, April.


I know I shouldn't put it above him, but I don;t like the way I feel if I can't get dressed. I really need some suggestions quick please. I really need to tell him something soon. I'm just nervous about telling him if I have to. Thanks, April.



Anyone?

[Seville]

...Just be sure to politely enforce the fact that this would not be a permanent situation, and that he would need to get his act together and find his own place. But he's your brother. He's more important than your CDing.


...so it wouldn't be a long stay...

Things have a way of backfiring, even among close
family members. Be sure to have everything
sorted out and laid on the table BEFORE he
shows up, or you may have a permanent
non-paying "guest" living with you.

Sorry, but I don't trust people in the situation
you describe...Been burned for $$$$...


ultimatly its your choice we cant tell you what is right or wrong

Right on! You have to make the decision.

[StephiefromSyr]

ultimatly its your choice we cant tell you what is right or wrong

[vikki2020]

Whats a short time? A week? A month?Longer? I don't know, you said youv'e only seen him a couple of times, so spending some time together would seem like something you would regret if you didn't do it.The dressing will be so much more exciting after a break, too!

[Roberta Lynn]

Well, I'm adopted and my brother and I have seen each other once or twice in our lives.

Sounds like he is almost a total stranger to you. I don't think I would want to share my life style with a stranger.
I guess you have to decide just how much you want to put yourself out to help him out.
Is under-dressing and androgynous clothing an option?

[Andrea85]

Ok, Iv'e said I've only seen him once or twice, but we did communicate nearly daily up until a couple of years ago. The last time we talked, he told me he was gay (not for sure if he was for real on that). When it comes to how long hestays, it'll just be a couple of days. I know he's my brother, but I know I wouldn't have a problem kickin him out if he tried to take advantage of me like that. I'm just the kind of person that won't act a certain way just because of someone else. I know I'm kind of a harsh person, but I think if he wants to accept me as a brother, he should accept me as his cd brother, you know? I just want suggestions on how to tell him I lke to cd and thats it. Im pretty sure Im gonna tell him.

[TGMarla]

I may be wrong, because I don't really know. But if he's gay, he may well be more tolerant of you as a crossdresser. As one who has already been exposed to and become a part of an alternative lifestyle, he may accept it openly. He may even see your telling him that you crossdress as a sign of acceptance from you that he's your gay brother.

Maybe in some ways, you two are more alike than you might know.

I'm not advocating that you tell him; that's your choice. I'm just throwing mud on the wall and seeing if any of it sticks.

[Andrea85]

I may be wrong, because I don't really know. But if he's gay, he may well be more tolerant of you as a crossdresser. As one who has already been exposed to and become a part of an alternative lifestyle, he may accept it openly. He may even see your telling him that you crossdress as a sign of acceptance from you that he's your gay brother.

Maybe in some ways, you two are more alike than you might know.

I'm not advocating that you tell him; that's your choice. I'm just throwing mud on the wall and seeing if any of it sticks.



But what if he's not gay like I thought?

[CD Susan]

April, if his stay with you is going to be only a couple of days I would say give it a try. Surely you could put off your cd'ing for such a short time period. However if his stay continues past a time that you are comfortable with then problems will certainly arise. If indeed he is gay then he would probably be accepting of your cd lifestyle. I think the main issue here is not the cd but being in agreement before hand on the length of his stay. This situation has the possibility of causing a rift between you and your brother. I would give the matter a lot of thought before reaching a decision.

[AKAMichelle]

I thought about your question for some time before responding.

If you were to live with him, then you would also have to deal with issues related to him being gay. Gay friends and possibly even a sexual encounter. To many people that would offensive.

The point is this. You are letting him come into your house and stay for an extended time. Is it fair that you change your life just to help him? Would he have stopped having friends over to the house because you didn't agree with the life style?

One of the hardest things about being a crossdresser is having enough courage to say I'm a crossdresser. I understand why gays find it so liberating to say I'm gay and I'm proud. Why should we be any different? Is crossdressing so much worse that it has to be hidden but being gay is acceptable?

I certainly hope not. Be true to yourself and don't sell yourself short or out!

:2c:

[Shelly Preston]

Hi April

A lot is going to depend on how much you trust him

as for how to tell him the link in my signature on telling your partner should give you some guidance

I know its not the same situation but it might help

[Sallee]

You have to allow him to stay and you should tell him you cross dress also you will feel better for it You are just being selfish if you don't tell him Do it Girl

[Holly]

But what if he's not gay like I thought?Then he lied to you. April, it is your home, it is your life, and it is your decision. My :2c:, he took a chance telling you he was gay. He trusted you. Can you trust him?

[Jamie001]

Tell him. You should be proud of who and what you are.


Then he lied to you. April, it is your home, it is your life, and it is your decision. My :2c:, he took a chance telling you he was gay. He trusted you. Can you trust him?

[Angie G]

Tell him if he can' deal with it that's on him you will be doing him a great favor letting stay with you. and he will need to adjust to you. :hugs:
Angie

[Andrea85]

Wow. This is why this is my fav site. So many good people and advice. If I can get the courage to tell him today, Ill tell evryone how it went. If I can't I still need some help. Thanx, April