Is There Any Release From The Curse

[Dana]

Of being transgendered!

[battybattybats]

Embracing the power of it, the ancient sacredness of it (In many cultures we were priestesses or considered blessed. Do a search in online copies of the bible for Eunachs to see what Jesus and others said about the blessed nature of the transgendered!), and the positive aspects of it would be a release from it's 'curse' aspects.

[sterling12]

I think we are being "baited." Remove "The Curse?" Whatever do you mean? Please amplify for us. What exactly is this curse? Is it from The Devil? Since most things are preordained....maybe it comes from God? OK, I'll "play wich' ya' for just a bit.

Tsk-tsk, such pointless handringing. OK, I'll tell you how to remove "The Curse." Hit yourself in the forehead with a ball peen hammer. That will remove "The Curse," until you regain consciousness.

Otherwise, you will just have to start working on that self-acceptance stuff. Just like the rest of us!

Peace and Love Joanie

[Deborah Jane]

There is a way....

On the first full moon of the first month...
Wear the undergarments of the opposite gender...
Step into the street of your residence...
Step thrice [not twice or fourse] times along the full length of the street...
Chant very loudly, so all may hear...

I..AM...NOT...A...GIRL***

Chant and step the whole length of the street thrice times...

If that doesn,t cure you, nothing will!!!!

***Please note, if chant is being said by a Female to Male..The word GIRL should be substituted with the word GUY***

[Mollyanne]

Hi Dana, Why would you ask this????? I don't consider my crossdressing a curse even in the remotest way. I like myself "changed" into a female if only outwardly. When I am dressed I find I am more at peace, have a calmer demeanor and really enjoy "becoming" a woman. Small minded people may consider my hobby a taboo but shame on them, this is who I am and who I will be.


:love: Mollyanne

[Sophia KT]

Yes,

Organization: plan your life. I am not only compelled to wear short, white 'Parisian' hotpants, but I compel myself to seek them out. If I have to eject people who don't 'get it'...well...to bad.

P.s. If the 'Curse' idea carries too much weight and you, are sensitive to supersticion and remarkable circumstance, do what I do and ignore it. There's no harm in being utterly superficial about life if you find 'other' stuff bogging you down.

Trust me, though, I have been there.

[Kelsy]

A good purge may help, otherwise sit back relax and enjoy the ride. please don't torture your self sweety!!:)

Kelsy :daydreaming:

[amber 07]

I'm sorry Dana, but most of us here don't consider being trans-gendered a curse. Some call it a blessing, me included. I have the best of both worlds. Since I have a very understanding and loving SO, I'm probably luckier than most. Its given me the freedom to be soft, sensual, quiet, and loving. Things that were bred out of me being raised by a Marine. I wouldn't trade my femme-ness for anything in the world. I absolutely love being where I am, and what I am, an individual with the best of both. Hugs, Amber

[Kate Simmons]

I guess it could be considered a curse sometimes. Some days I feel someone is putting the "whammy" on me when my look isn't working, my bra is giving me problems or I'm having a "bad hair" day (yep, we get 'em with wigs). Now I know how a woman feels some days. Gotta love it.:)

[Aurora27]

This is one of my major dilemmas... sometimes I feel I am cursed, other days I feel blessed. The truth is we aren't cursed, and we aren't blessed, we just are. I find many, shall we say 'unenlightened' people, behave according to how they are told to behave - sheep drifting through life unaware of themselves or others and repeating old discriminations which no longer apply. We here have all been curious enough and brave enough to shed this and to seek out our true identities and all that this entails. So think of it this way, you're not cursed because you are transgendered, others are cursed with narrow-mindedness.

Did that make sense to anyone? Sometimes I can ramble and lose the subject...

[deja true]

...So think of it this way, you're not cursed because you are transgendered, others are cursed with narrow-mindedness.

Did that make sense to anyone?...


Out of the mouths of newbie babes...

Aurora, that makes perfect sense. And exactly how I feel, too.

[Jenny Doolittle]

If you could take a pill :drink: and have all this go away would U? Maybe I would have as a teenager when I really struggled with who I was dealing with my urage to dress.....but now...NO WAY! I like who I am. and the real problem with CDing is the problem that everyone else has about it. for me I feel at peace, I find myself to be much more considerate of others, and hey who would not love the feel of satin and silk against their skin. If that is a curse well, curse me all U like.

[Sophia KT]

This is one of my major dilemmas... sometimes I feel I am cursed, other days I feel blessed. The truth is we aren't cursed, and we aren't blessed, we just are. I find many, shall we say 'unenlightened' people, behave according to how they are told to behave - sheep drifting through life unaware of themselves or others and repeating old discriminations which no longer apply. We here have all been curious enough and brave enough to shed this and to seek out our true identities and all that this entails. So think of it this way, you're not cursed because you are transgendered, others are cursed with narrow-mindedness.

Did that make sense to anyone? Sometimes I can ramble and lose the subject...

It was lovely!

[Di]

I am sorry you feel like it is a curse.....but it is a part of who you are...........hope you can cultivate it to be at least a mixed blessing. I always see it as a blessing with Sher. Best Wishes:hugs:

[Fab Karen]

must be another "rising star in the republican party" :devil:

[Holly]

Dana, to answer your question, yes there is a release from the "curse" of being transgendered... accept it as the blessing that it is! Seriously, why do you believe it is a curse? Because someone (society) told you that it is wrong? Honey, what do YOU think? Do you like who you are? Then to heck with what others think. Be strong and confident in who you are!

[MJ]

This is one of my major dilemmas... sometimes I feel I am cursed, other days I feel blessed. The truth is we aren't cursed, and we aren't blessed, we just are. I find many, shall we say 'unenlightened' people, behave according to how they are told to behave - sheep drifting through life unaware of themselves or others and repeating old discriminations which no longer apply. We here have all been curious enough and brave enough to shed this and to seek out our true identities and all that this entails. So think of it this way, you're not cursed because you are transgendered, others are cursed with narrow-mindedness.

Did that make sense to anyone? Sometimes I can ramble and lose the subject...

very well said ..
this is not a curse but a blessing i don't have a problem with who i am other people do ...it's there problem not mine

[battybattybats]

Would anyone find it remotely a curse if it was an accepted part of society?

If we'd grown up with CD role-models to look up to on the tv and in film, if there was no need to hide who we are?

If anything is a curse it's the intolerant parts of society that tries to crush, control and ostracise anything different.

[Brenda's Friend]

In this forum, we have every thing from thoes who occasionally wear the underware of the opposite sex to those who have had the operation. So we as a group have differing levels of self acceptance, not to speak of what thoes around us my think.

I also would not like to have this urge continue. I know that my life would be easier if I didn't have to deal with this every moment of every day. I have chosen a wife and a religious practice where crossdressing is not accepted, but still I have a stash and I wake up early in the mornings and make myself pretty for only a few moments.

I have issues that I haven't dealt with yet, and I don't really have anyone to help me deal with them. Many in this forum have embrased the crossdressing experiance, but many especially the sillent ones have not. I know only one thing and that is that there is not any easy answers. This is a journey that many of us have to do alone. We can cry into the night or on to this forum, and maybe we can find a small bit of comfort.

At this point in my life, I don't know if I can't stop or if I don't want to stop. It would sure be nice if I could walk away and not look back. I do know, that the life that I have chossen to live, will not allow my crossdressing to increase, but maybe I don't have a choice, it is the way I am?

BF

[Jocelyn Quivers]

No, it just gets worse, and stronger as you get older, :eek: best just to learn an accept it as being a part of who you are.

[docrobbysherry]

U have the power to change the way u look at CDing. Even if u may NOT have the power to stop doing it!

I'm working on that change myself! I keep telling myself how much happier I am CDIng, instead of wasting my time; hanging out with the guys, watching sports, getting my chores done, or reading the newspaper!

[KayR]

Well, it seems to me that if you go round with it on show, someones bound to have a go at stealing it, aren't they?

Hang on..... Curse? I thought you said Purse!!!

[insearchofme]

This Dana certainly doesn't feel that this is a curse.

[Edyta_C]

Being a CD is somewhat different than being in the wrong body. I can see a lot of anguish in being in the wrong body (especially if you can't get it modified). Being a CDer, is more of a blessing as it allows me to express the feminine side of my personality. I was more screwed up mentally when not being able to "get it out". I'm sure I can't truly understand what a TS feels preOP. But I can be fairly comfortable walking in my heels!

I guess I relate most with Maryanne's coment.

Hugs Edyta

[Vieja]

There is a way....

On the first full moon of the first month...
Wear the undergarments of the opposite gender...
Step into the street of your residence...
Step thrice [not twice or fourse] times along the full length of the street...
Chant very loudly, so all may hear...

I..AM...NOT...A...GIRL***

Chant and step the whole length of the street thrice times...

If that doesn,t cure you, nothing will!!!!

***Please note, if chant is being said by a Female to Male..The word GIRL should be substituted with the word GUY***

I love it.


Vieja:brolleyes:

[Angie G]

I think not so just enjoy hun. :hugs:
Angie

[KimberlyS]

Dana, Yes

It is called personal acceptance of your self and integrating it into your life with all of your other traits, personalities, likes and dislikes, and all of who you are as a person.


P.S. I think those sports nuts who can not miss a gain are "Cursed". I am sure many wifes would love to have a religious ceremony to have the sports demons cast out of their husbands.
:eek:

[trannie T]

Being transgendered is neither a curse nor a blessing. It is something that simply exists, something we have no control over.
Accept yourself for what you are, self acceptance is a major key to happiness.

[Melanie R]

Curse? Being transgendered for me is a gift from God! I am truly gender gifted. If any of you do not agree that you are gender gifted and see this as a curse, you have my sympathy.

[KandisTX]

If it is a curse then I do NOT want to be cured :) I love being the way I am and that's all I'll be ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[RockerTerri]

Would anyone find it remotely a curse if it was an accepted part of society?

If we'd grown up with CD role-models to look up to on the tv and in film, if there was no need to hide who we are?

If anything is a curse it's the intolerant parts of society that tries to crush, control and ostracise anything different.


This is probably the best response to issues we all face every day that i have ever seen. I dont think that we are the ones with the "problem". I am more Venus than Mars, and i am pretty thankful for it.

Terri

[iwearstockings]

It's not a curse dude, its part of you in the same way its part of all of us here. I've not always had the confidence i have now ( took 39 years to get here) and while i haven't shouted it from the rooftops, I never once felt awful about actually being a CD.
Dont beat yourself up over it, better days round the corner.
s.:hugs:

[DonnaT]

Down in Louisiana, there's a little shack back in the bayou housing a little old lady with many potions for many things. If you can find it, she may have the right potion for you. Careful you don't get turned into a zombie. ;)

[tamela bell]

i usualy find a shopping trip is a good release

[jessielee]

don't feel cursed, thanks!
sure, it is a "cross to bear."
yet i feel doubly visioned
and blesed with the rarest of oportunities, to see things from both sides.
of course, as much as is possible.
but consider; previosly i thought i was born wrong, trapped, all wrong.
now, awakened, i see a larger family and a broader way of fitting into the world.
still not free, but, no longer self condemning!
peace to you, sister,
and blessings.
jessie

[StayceeCD]

Curse? What curse? I'm lovin every minute of it! Only thing that would be better is if the wife were accepting.. Other than that, I've accepted myself and embraced my inner female! I love it and wouldn't want it to be gone! I've started going out and have met some really amazing people! At 45 the ride is just getting better! :daydreaming:I really wouldn't want to give it up! I feel I deserve to have fun with it after all those years of guilt, shame and generally feeling bad about myself for CDing.. The intense "rush" I get when walking into a room dressed, or through a hotel lobby with other guests there is WAY better than ANY drug I did in the 70's or 80's!! LOL

[Jamie001]

What did Jesus say about it? Being that I am a Christian, I am very curious.

:hugs: Jamie


Embracing the power of it, the ancient sacredness of it (In many cultures we were priestesses or considered blessed. Do a search in online copies of the bible for Eunachs to see what Jesus and others said about the blessed nature of the transgendered!), and the positive aspects of it would be a release from it's 'curse' aspects.

[suzanne]

You know what the real curse is? It's the traditional stereotypical male role that society assigns us at birth and threatens ill on us for non-conformance. We in this forum are too big to fit into this pigeonhole and struggle to express ourselves as complete humans with a full complement of masculine and feminine qualities in whatever proportions suit our own personalities. After too many years of guilt and soul searching, I love my gender-giftedness.

[Rachaelb64]

Cursed or Blessed...........Demon or Angel

Its your choice..........

[CD Susan]

I do not consider it a curse but rather a blessing. Being able to dress up gives me a huge feeling of stress relief. Sometimes I look at other people who are struggling with stress and the difficulties of life and think that it is so unfortunate they are not a cd. I can not imagine living a life and not cd'ing. It is my way of coping with the difficulties and stress producing aspects of every day life. If there was a magic pill that I could take to make the urge to cd go away I would not take it. I need this part of me and am glad that this is the way I am. My only regret is the fact that society looks at this way of self expression in a negative way.

[Dana]

First I'm apolgize if I offended anyone, I was in one of my "funks", dealing with depression about my life situation, and doing some serious damage to a fifth of Black Velvet. In short? I was about half drunk when I posted the original post!

I apolgize if I've offended anyone.

But there's just no denying it! I'm transgendered! And that doesn't have anything to do with your sexualithy ~ who you prefer as a sexual partner ~ that's totallyt sepearate.

In short? I was feeling sorry for myself ~ half drunk! OK! 2/3'd tanked!

[Joanne f]

It is not that long ago that i had similar thoughts to you so i still have some idea as to what you are saying and i think that it is to easy for others to just pass it off and say "just get over it and get on with your life " i do not believe it was that easy fore all when they started out on the transgender way of life, it can take a lot of getting use to as it all depends on how you have been brought up ,where you live and who you live with even how you are with you own feelings, some people find it hard to get in touch with their inner self, but i can tell you that there is an end to it and with help from others and yourself you will learn to enjoy it and realise that it is not a curse it is just you wanting to express your self, you don`t have to fight it but you don`t have to flaunt it if you are uncomfortable with that .


joanne :)

[Samantha43]

I have always considered it a blessing or gift. I can live my life as the male I was born. Do all of the things a guy does and enjoys. Then on occasion I can explorer a different side of me. One that is softer, more feminine and just plain fun! It gives me a opportunity to be artistic and creative. It is a release in so many ways for me.

I have an accepting and supporting wife, which makes it much easier for me. We both enjoy the Samantha part of me. Sometimes I wonder though if I would be a happy with my feminine side if I didn't have a supportive wife. If I had to keep everything a secret. I can understand how that would be difficult and even depressing.

[SusanMarie]

Not a curse, a GIFT!
Life... is the challenge.

[Deborah Jane]

First I'm apolgize if I offended anyone, I was about half drunk when I posted the original post!

In short? I was feeling sorry for myself ~ half drunk! OK! 2/3'd tanked!

Hey Dana, don,t worry hon...
Some of us still get bad moments with this sometimes and you,re not the first one to post something when you were drunk you later wished you hadn,t!!:o

Forgiven:hugs:

[Cassy11]

It's not a curse.
To this day some people still say that being GAY is a lifestyle choice, now there's a tiny mind for you.
What ever the reason I started to CD I don't regret having those feelings, and I, like a lot of others started at a very early age. I don't think a young child makes a choice to be a CD. I think it's something we were born with.
True, we are not a accepted part of society but we are still part of it. I guess acceptance would make it easier on all of us.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Come to this forum often and read the experiences of others. This group is very accepting and willing to help you understand and deal with your feelings.

[Ruth]

Life has its ups and downs for all of us.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have the urge to CD, sometimes I see it as adding a whole extra dimension of experience and enjoyment to my life.

[StayceeCD]

you,re not the first one to post something when you were drunk you later wished you hadn,t!!:o

Forgiven:hugs:

Got THAT right!! :o

[Angela-Russell]

Well, it's the nicest curse that i've ever had.

[trannie T]

This is depressing. I knew that I suffer from 'the heartbreak of psorasis' and now I learn that I also have 'the curse of crossdressing.' My life is horrible.
I wonder why I'm so happy.

[Amy Hepker]

Curse??? It is THE FORCE!!!

[jennifer41356]

Of being transgendered!

curse?:brolleyes:, I find it a blessing:love:

[Tina Francia]

I think the desire and urge to CD is a blessing in itself and I would not want to change it for anything. The curse of CD'ing is having to deal with those that do not want, or refuse to understand that we as cross-dressers are what society really needs; we are caring, thoughtful, tolerant, and understaning people. We can not only identify with our male gender, we also identify and understand the female gender as well. So yes we deal with a blessing and a curse, it can be hard at times too. I look at it in the perspective that the blessing gives me the streangth, courage, and wisdom to deal with those who curse us.

[crusadergirl]

I think of it as a curse as well but its one of the better ones i have. Is there a way to release the curse? Have someone throw 5 bananas at you when your walking down the street but they have to be where you can't see them.
It worked for me.

[TSchapes]

I have issues that I haven't dealt with yet, and I don't really have anyone to help me deal with them. Many in this forum have embrased the crossdressing experiance, but many especially the sillent ones have not. I know only one thing and that is that there is not any easy answers. This is a journey that many of us have to do alone. We can cry into the night or on to this forum, and maybe we can find a small bit of comfort.

In talking to crossdressers over the years I have found we have all made pacts with the devil, or compromises if you will. Some have banished themselves to some remote place just to run away from it, only to see it still there. Some thought that marriage would "cure" them, others the military, religion or fill in the blank . But it is still there inside us, and to me god has given us a challenge. To make peace with ourselves and live fulfilling lives or fight it and live in purgatory.

My father told me life was not easy. And to me if I take the easy way out, I've forfeited my life and my own happiness.

Love, Tracy

[KarenCDFL]

I do understand the question.

For a lot of years I had this "noise" in my head that just would not stop. I always thought it had to do with the conflict of boy vs girl and honestly after years of therapy even though I have a male body, I am female. No doubt about it. And having been able to integrate the personalities the noise is gone and am very clear now.

Was it a curse? No. But it wasted so much of my life.

[KeriB]

Of being transgendered!

Yes... accept it for what it is.. not a curse but a beautiful thing that defines what it is that makes you who you are.....

[WomanAtHeart4]

Dana,
Thanks for the post and sharing your thoughts and feelings.
First, may I validate your feelings? Feelings are real. Maybe unintentional, but sometimes many invalidate or dismiss what another’s may feel.

I too have asked myself the same question(s) many times before: ‘is there any release from the curse’? I know I had many emotions from cding: hurt, confusion, pain, frustration, lack of understanding, failure, lack of will power, embarrassment, fear, ecstasy, pleasure, thrill, peace, wonderment, etc. I have tried to find a release “from the curse”; actually I have recently ended a 2 year purge with all intentions of trying riding the “curse” once and for all. Did I win? No. I am not free from the “curse” but in the processes of ending the purge, I am learning how to free myself from the guilt and the feelings I placed on myself because of this ‘cd gene’. I use the term “cd gene’ to rid my self of the cd guilt and to wonderfully release me from the expectation that I can rid myself of this ‘gene” (which I received at birth – I cannot change my genes). Do I hear you say, “Stephanie that is crazy, a “cd gene” at birth”? That is the best way I can explain it. It beats thinking ‘if I try real hard, pray 10 times a day, try whipping myself, conduct a super purge, pull myself up by my bootstraps - I can rid “the curse”. I have tried and could not rid it and made myself miserable. So now – I accept my cding. I accept it within its place in my life – which requires balance. (I recommend reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “My husband Betty” by Helen Boyd. Helen Boyd books and interviews showed me how to accept. I thought – if a wife of a cder (Helen) can accept the cding part of her husband (Betty), can I not accept my own cding in myself? She shows amazing love) Does it mean the world has changed for me and my cding? Do I now go efem 24/7? No, not at all. What has changed is my acceptance of myself for who I am – a cder. Instead of feeling guilty – I now enjoy my cd moments to its fullest even with its limitations instead of feeling resentful, guilty or confused. And I now understand the value “Stephanie” has in my life and me being a “Woman at Heart”. It’s powerful. :)
Love,
Stephanie

[idashine]

Time, "They" say heals all wounds. Well, I have spent a lot of my time dealing with this situation and can tell you it does not go away. Maybe when our allotted time is up and we get to try again the Big guy will get it right.

[Beth-Lock]

I think we are all cursed by being on this earth, as opposed to in the heavenly Garden of Eden. I guess we will just have to deal with it. Maybe in heaven, you can be whatever gender or sex you want, and fully so, if that matters there.
In other words, there are likely deep philosophical reasons for things, but here, we have to come to some practical accommodation with things like being trans.

[Carly D.]

Listen closely.. to be released from the dreaded CROSSDRESSING CURSE : 1) Garlic, works on vampires, has to work on crossdressers.. 2) a steak to the heart.. well actually a steak to the heart is good against vampires, a steak to the foot of a crossdresser will work equally because we're not trying to kill the crossdresser, just stop the dreaded curse... 3) cutting off the feet.. toes might work as well, but the feet.. and do a mangled job of it, pantyhose may not fit right if the legs are of unequal length...

[JSpikeheels]

No, it just gets worse, and stronger as you get older, :eek: best just to learn an accept it as being a part of who you are.

yes I totally agree...I discovered my legs, so to speak, two years ago when I tried on a skirt and thigh highs that had been my wife's along with five inch heels that were my indulgence to a lifelong quietly and managed fetish..

...now I have developed a growing new persona of-while not dressing completely en femme- I have found the courage and exhilaration to wear stiletto heel boots every time I step out of the house with my usual male attire...

..I was born in 1945 and you are right; there is something about reaching an age where the opinions of others become less important that our own...I also agree that the desires have become stronger and I struggle to try to limit them to just wearing boots with jeans..

Eileen/Jim

[AKAMichelle]

One of the things that everyone who has accepted their crossdressing misses in this question is the time and energy it took to accept themselves.

I believe in some ways that crossdressing is a curse. We struggle all of our lives because society tells us it is wrong to be this way. We beat up on ourselves for being evil or an abomination to mankind. As a result we do stupid things to satisfy the urges while remaining totally hidden. Then heaven help us should we get caught in a dress. That's just the simple issues.

Then we come to the fact that as we age the urge increases which is why self-acceptance is so important. You have to find a way to balance it in your life. At the same time keep it hidden from your employer or clients because so many wouldn't understand and possibly fire you. Therefore, loss of employment is one of the risks. Then you have to tell your SO if you haven't told her before. That can result like it did for me with divorce or in some cases totally accepting SO's. The accepting SO seems like a myth to me.

So in many respects crossdressing takes lots of energy which could be spent elsewhere. With so many risks and down sides it does appear that crossdressing is a curse. The really bad news is that there doesn't appear to be a cure. No antibiotic or pill to cure this one. Only self-acceptance because society will never fully accept us. They may treat us with respect and overlook our odd behavior, but at home they are laughing at us. That's very hard to deal with.

I do wish that there was a cure. The stress of getting caught equals the stress relief I get from crossdressing. They seem to cancel each other out. I think that until you reach that point of total self-acceptance crossdressing is a curse. A curse which can ease into a gift which I sadly still don't understand fully. I am just now beginning my journey.

I wish you luck in your journey and self-acceptance

Michelle

[Jae]

I believe in some ways that crossdressing is a curse. We struggle all of our lives because society tells us it is wrong to be this way.

heaven help us should we get caught in a dress

keep it hidden from your employer or clients because so many wouldn't understand and possibly fire you. Then you have to tell your SO if you haven't told her before.

Michelle

As one who for 50 years has been so afraid of being found out that I have never cross dressed only dreamed of doing so, I can only agree that I wish I never had these feelings.

[Patti Girl]

First I'm apolgize if I offended anyone, I was in one of my "funks", dealing with depression about my life situation, and doing some serious damage to a fifth of Black Velvet. In short? I was about half drunk when I posted the original post!

I apolgize if I've offended anyone.

But there's just no denying it! I'm transgendered! And that doesn't have anything to do with your sexualithy ~ who you prefer as a sexual partner ~ that's totallyt sepearate.

In short? I was feeling sorry for myself ~ half drunk! OK! 2/3'd tanked!

Dana,

Don't feel bad about the post! You've brought out some great responses from some of the more experienced members, responses that are helpful to others of us.

I have mixed feelings myself, wishing life was more simple, not having to worry about when I can wear what. Yesterday, I felt absolutely great being dressed. Today, I had to limit myself since we have a repairman who is supposed to come sometime this week. (I may just lock the gate and forget about him, LOL).

I'm sure most of us have our ups and downs. But we are learning to live and love it!

And I'm one of the lucky ones, my wife not only accepts my dressing, she likes me femme :)

Patti

[Brooke Smith]

I had this disscussion with a friend once and the only cure is complete acceptence of yourself.You may not have asked for it,but it's there and it won't go away.It's part of who you are.Play the hand you're dealt,embrace it,think of it as a gift and enjoy your life to the fullest.Our time here is short....Peace

[Bernadina]

Of being transgendered!


Curse???

Why is it a curse??

I think its a wonderful gift.

[Karren H]

What curse? :)

[TxKimberly]

Sure there is! The moment you decide it's NOT a curse life is SO much better

[Kimmie]

because this is socially unacceptable. One can draw parallels to the 5 stages of loss.

1) denial- I'm a man, I do manly things, I like girls, play contact sports, get my hands dirty, make sexist comments, like to see things get blown up, vote republican. take your pick.

2) - anger- see above: with more aggression- along with loosing ones temper as an expression of testosterone.

3) bargaining- If I can go 6 months without dressing I can go another 3 months if I can go 9 months I can go another 6 moths, and so on. purging can be a subsection here.

4) depression- This isnt working, goddamit I feel guilt for dressing up and I hate myself for what I am.

5) acceptance- Some innitial fear, then followed by the moment you decide it's NOT a curse, life is SO much better.


Granted I'm not a licensed therapist. Just observations, this is not entirely based on personal experience. BTW

[crusadergirl]

Being a crossdresser isn't really a bad curse, its one the better ones. Don't look at it as something bad. Alot of good can come out of it.

[Casey Morgan]

Sure, if it's a curse for you then there is a release. It won't be easy but you can do it. Just use a 12-step approach to crossdressing.

I think most of us have gone through the "why me" stage of being transgendered. Perhaps one day it will be a blessing for you, or at least not so hard to bear. :)

[Paige.]

I'm sorry, there may be a cure from the curse but there is no release. Once you become one of us we have you on our side there is no return. That is a rule that can't be broken.

[MJ]

I'm sorry, there may be a cure from the curse but there is no release. Once you become one of us we have you on our side there is no return. That is a rule that can't be broken.

why didn't someone tell me this 4 years ago . It's too late for me save yourselves ... oh right if your here it's too late for you too

[ashlee chiffon]

you're born with it and you'll go out with it...

just part of life! you are what you are!:brolleyes:

[Lara Smith]

No! It is with you to stay. You didn’t choose it, and you can't rid yourself of it. You CAN deny it. But it won't go away. It won't go away anymore than your blue eyes or blonde hair or your predisposition to heart disease or balding will.

But it does have its benefits. You are able to see the world and relationships between males and females in ways that no one else can. You can experience thoughts and sensations that no one else can. You can experience and feel things that no one else can.

Embrace it, understand it, and get to know it. It is the best you can do. I promise. No one chooses it. It chooses you. It may not feel kike it much of the time, but it is a gift and a blessing.

[cd_britney_426]

It is clearly not a curse. But society thinks it is! There are a couple of things I think are the real curses. The first is the double standard with regards to gender roles. It has been gradually more accepted for women to adopt somewhat masculine qualities but is still for the most part totally unacceptable for men to adopt feminine qualities. There was a time where women just didn't wear t-shirts, jeans, and basketball shoes. Now this is quite acceptable. A woman can also get away with not wearing any makeup at all. I see it all the time. Yet if a man puts on a dress or a pair of high heels or some lipstick, immediately eyebrows are raised and questions are asked. A second curse is what our society truly values. You would think that a healthy society would at least accept something different that is not harmful as neutral. At worst, crossdressing can be said to be an unnecessary expense of time and money.

Yet society considers transgendered issues extremely taboo regardless of whether it is just a man doing drag at a gay bar for entertainment and tips or the other end of the spectrum as someone who wishes to fully change their bodies to match the opposite gender. This is the same "healthy" society that accepts watching hours of crap on TV much of which is misogynistic violence and attitudes normal, a society in which it is completely normal to spend one's time and money filling their lungs with cigarette smoke, getting fat off of endless chips and soda, and a society where all virtues known to mankind are immediately placed second priority to doing whatever it takes to get "ahead" of someone else.

So as far as I'm concerned nobody needs to tell me that being transgendered or a crossdresser is a "curse." I understand the original intent of the OP but I am just making this as a general point. Society thinks there is something wrong with men for simply putting on some feminine clothes or expressing our feminine side which is completely normal yet at the same time glorifies and promotes a bankrupt culture consisting of a consumer me-first mentality where morals are a thing of the past. So ask yourself what the real curse is? Britney

[Patti Girl]

Very good post, Britney.


Yet if a man puts on a dress or a pair of high heels or some lipstick, immediately eyebrows are raised and questions are asked.

People fear what they do not understand. And let's face, most of US don't understand it, why should we expect society in general to understand it. <sigh>

Of course it doesn't help that the inappropriate wierdos are the ones that make the news.

This is a wonderful board, that is very useful in helping us to come to terms with ourselves. It's certainly helping me to accept myself as "normal". :)

Patti

[Jenny Doolittle]

Curse? I dont feel that way now. I feel as though my femside has allowed me to be the more sensative person that is caring and understanding of others.

When I was younger, I had an urge to dress and did not understand it....I probably did consider it a curse back then. But it was almost like an awakening when I accepted who I was and stopped hating that part of my life, so now I consider it a blessing becasue I know I am a better person.

Those who are cursed are those with smal minds who feel a need to be critical of what they dont understand.

Jenny

[cdisgood]

Its only a curse if you can't be true to your real self! I understan e the curse all to well!

[robyn1114]

I can see where one might think it's a curse. My TG issues is about to cost me the most important thing in my life. 11yrs ago I meet the greatest woman on the planet and fell madly in love with her. For the last 11yrs we've had a pretty damn good marriage, so I thought but all the while she resented my fem side for take parts of her man away. As I grow older the desire to express my fem side as grown stronger and the resentment my wife felt also grew stronger. I tried to kill off my fem side, but the depression became unbearable, so I tried to reintroduce my fem side into our marriage. The wife said NO she could no longer accept my TGism, and she is making her plans as I type this to leave me and get divorced. So Yes at this very minute I feel very cursed by my TGism.

[Roberta Rain]

On the first full moon of the first month...
Wear the undergarments of the opposite gender...
Step into the street of your residence...
Step thrice [not twice or fourse] times along the full length of the street...
Chant very loudly, so all may hear...

....

Now if I could only figure out which undergarments belong to the opposite gender, I'd be all set.
-Roberta

[Roberta Rain]

If you could take a pill :drink: and have all this go away would U? Maybe I would have as a teenager when I really struggled with who I was dealing with my urage to dress.....but now...NO WAY! I like who I am. and the real problem with CDing is the problem that everyone else has about it. for me I feel at peace, I find myself to be much more considerate of others, and hey who would not love the feel of satin and silk against their skin. If that is a curse well, curse me all U like.

...
This sparked a thought.

Imagining a Red Pill and Blue Pill in front of me like in Matrix.

Take the Blue Pill and you go all the way... poof, you are girl. Surprise everyone, adjust your life accordingly.

Take the Red Pill and your fem side goes away. Permanently.

There's at least one hour out of each day when I wouldn't take the Blue Pill, but I would never, never take the Red Pill. Never. Wow, I guess I didn't realize quite how strongly I feel about that until I just envisioned it. The very thought of doing away with my feminine side makes me feel horrible to the depth of my being. It would be the destruction of ME.

[Jenny J]

It's the Roy Neary curse; I have to build the Devils Tower but I don't know why.

Jen

[Patti Girl]

...
This sparked a thought.

Imagining a Red Pill and Blue Pill in front of me like in Matrix.

Take the Blue Pill and you go all the way... poof, you are girl. Surprise everyone, adjust your life accordingly.

Take the Red Pill and your fem side goes away. Permanently.

There's at least one hour out of each day when I wouldn't take the Blue Pill, but I would never, never take the Red Pill. Never. Wow, I guess I didn't realize quite how strongly I feel about that until I just envisioned it. The very thought of doing away with my feminine side makes me feel horrible to the depth of my being. It would be the destruction of ME.

Roberta,

On one hand, I fully understand and agree with you. OTOH, I have to wonder what it would be like to be a full male.

Well, we can't change reality. There are many types of people in the world and many of us here are the transgendered type, neither fully male nor fully female. The thread has had many good points about accepting and enjoying what we are and getting the most out of the life we have been given.


I can see where one might think it's a curse. My TG issues is about to cost me the most important thing in my life. 11yrs ago I meet the greatest woman on the planet and fell madly in love with her. For the last 11yrs we've had a pretty damn good marriage, so I thought but all the while she resented my fem side for take parts of her man away. As I grow older the desire to express my fem side as grown stronger and the resentment my wife felt also grew stronger. I tried to kill off my fem side, but the depression became unbearable, so I tried to reintroduce my fem side into our marriage. The wife said NO she could no longer accept my TGism, and she is making her plans as I type this to leave me and get divorced. So Yes at this very minute I feel very cursed by my TGism.

Robyn,

hugs, girl! You have my sympathy. FWIW, eight years ago I went thorugh a emotionally difficult divorce. It had nothing to do with my being TG, but a lot to do with my being unhappy and unsatisfied for many years in a marriage that I really wanted to work. It was a very stressful year and a half.

But the good side is that I am now married to the right woman and all the pain and stress was worth it! I thoiught I had a good wife, but I was really putting the blinders over my eyes. I held onto the misguided marriage for a long, long time.

Best wishes and I hope you find fulfillment and happiness that you cannot in your marriage.

hugs,

Patti

[wishonastar]

Of being transgendered!

Not at this time. But most of the problem is not us but the society not excepting people as they are. We have to be either male of female all the time. So I do not see it as our problem but everyone else's problem.

Maybe one of these days the society will be cured of their mental disorder!

Find a balance, You might not be willing to the the hormones or surgery or life style change but you can find a balance.

Sometimes just CDing is enough. Sometimes role playing like on Second Life.

It does help to find a excepting partner to work with, (wish I had one).

[robyn1114]

Thank you patti, although I'm still sure my wife is the perfect person for me I still love her dearly she is my soulmate. If it just wasn't for my TG issues be could grow old together. None the less I have these issues and they won't go away, so I'll let the wife go so she can find her happiness, and maybe someday I'll be able to move forward.

[fempsyche]

I hate to think of something that I get so much enjoyment from as being a curse

[Jill]

Sorry everyone, I haven't read all the other posts so it's possible my reply might be a bit redundant, but I somehow doubt it.

I already knew that most peoples response on here would be what they have been, you know, "what curse?! I love who I am!" Which I think is definitely a positive thing but at the same time, I really don't think it's that helpful to the person asking the question. If Dana referred to being TG a curse and almost every single person gives an overwhelming response of the opposite, don't you think that would make Dana feel a little more alienated? Like nobody understands or can relate?

Dana said that she was drunk when the original post was written, but to me, that doesn't change anything, those feelings are still in there and at times very real for Dana. So many of you say that it's not a curse in your life, that it's the opposite but everyones circumstances are different? How realistic or fair is it to expect everyone to feel the same way?

I actually feel like I can totally relate. At times, I have felt like I have had a curse. My circumstances are such that acceptance is hard to find and for the most part, dressing has only complicated my life. But it is what it is I guess and I'm beginning to accept it more even though I'm not really sure that is the right thing for my life. I can relate Dana. I do think it's possible to quit, I think anything is possible but it would be very very hard.

[KandisTX]

...
This sparked a thought.

Imagining a Red Pill and Blue Pill in front of me like in Matrix.

Take the Blue Pill and you go all the way... poof, you are girl. Surprise everyone, adjust your life accordingly.

Take the Red Pill and your fem side goes away. Permanently.

There's at least one hour out of each day when I wouldn't take the Blue Pill, but I would never, never take the Red Pill. Never. Wow, I guess I didn't realize quite how strongly I feel about that until I just envisioned it. The very thought of doing away with my feminine side makes me feel horrible to the depth of my being. It would be the destruction of ME.

I couldn't have said it better myself ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[jenny logan]

The only time I haver felt cding was a curse was when Payless didn't have my size in that killer t strap pump I had my eyes on. Curses size 12.

Jenny L

[MalibuJenny]

Originally Posted by Roberta Rain
...
This sparked a thought.

Imagining a Red Pill and Blue Pill in front of me like in Matrix.

Take the Blue Pill and you go all the way... poof, you are girl. Surprise everyone, adjust your life accordingly.

Take the Red Pill and your fem side goes away. Permanently.

There's at least one hour out of each day when I wouldn't take the Blue Pill, but I would never, never take the Red Pill. Never. Wow, I guess I didn't realize quite how strongly I feel about that until I just envisioned it. The very thought of doing away with my feminine side makes me feel horrible to the depth of my being. It would be the destruction of ME.

I know we are just dealing in hypotheticals but here I've come to realize that being a crossdresser is very intertwined in your personality and isn't close to being compartmentalized.

Crossdressing isn't just something we DO it's something we ARE. I could no sooner separate that part of my personality any more than I could stop being a kind person, someone who is naturally curious or even being an animal lover. All those traits are very complex if you stop and think about them... Why you are those things (speaking for myself here) and how they are interrelated to thousands of more complex aspects of your psyche.

It took me a long time to figure this out... And I know that cutting out whatever part of my mind likes to CD would mean it would also take a big chunk of other things that are really core to my being, and I like myself enough that I would never want to do that -- even hypothetically. :)

[AmandaM]

Of being transgendered!

I think if you move to Iran, burkas aren't very fun. :devil:

[charlie]

The curse of CD is not how I feel about myself. I am actually quite happy with the feelings, looks and motions I go through to look like the best transvestite I can be. The curse is that I could lose my job, friends, wife, and children if it all came out. Worse yet, I could lose my life to some thugs that corner me as i come out of a nightclub. I have two gay friends that were beaten within inches of their lives because they walked out of a gay bar late at night. Society is the curse of being a CD. Thus, we have a curse girls!

[Sweet Jane]

I would probably take the red pill, or the blue pill in a heartbeat........

I've read here how some people say dressing makes them "feel like a woman"...I dunno how that feels....and by virtue of who I am, I'm not that sure I know how "men feel" either...I do know how I feel though, and thats about it. Often I think it would be great to just live a life less complex, a life without gender duality to wrest with. And thats why I would take the pill, and to me right now, the colour isn't that important really????
I assume most people have something in their lives thats a bit of a deep secret, and I am sure that most of those secrets are more of a curse than blurring the genderlines. We all have some skeleton in the closet, its just ours are in the form of pretty dresses!!!!
The thing that is my personal disappointment, is the "sexual tag" that is always attached to who I am, because I sometimes look like a woman...for me, nothing could be further from the truth, and frankly I think its because of that I am embarrassed about who I am. I suppose that makes my dressing a curse, when it might just be the source of my greatest joy as well?...

[krisla]

Ying/Yand there are many times it is a blessing

Kris

[Patrice]

Its not a curse, there are more than 2 flavors of anything.

Are you who YOU say you are, or are you who OTHERS say you are?

Your identity is all you have in the end, dont let others tell you who, or what, you should be.

[bimini1]

Sorry everyone, I haven't read all the other posts so it's possible my reply might be a bit redundant, but I somehow doubt it.

I already knew that most peoples response on here would be what they have been, you know, "what curse?! I love who I am!" Which I think is definitely a positive thing but at the same time, I really don't think it's that helpful to the person asking the question. If Dana referred to being TG a curse and almost every single person gives an overwhelming response of the opposite, don't you think that would make Dana feel a little more alienated? Like nobody understands or can relate?

Dana said that she was drunk when the original post was written, but to me, that doesn't change anything, those feelings are still in there and at times very real for Dana. So many of you say that it's not a curse in your life, that it's the opposite but everyones circumstances are different? How realistic or fair is it to expect everyone to feel the same way?

I actually feel like I can totally relate. At times, I have felt like I have had a curse. My circumstances are such that acceptance is hard to find and for the most part, dressing has only complicated my life. But it is what it is I guess and I'm beginning to accept it more even though I'm not really sure that is the right thing for my life. I can relate Dana. I do think it's possible to quit, I think anything is possible but it would be very very hard.


I have often wondered how something that can potentially cause sooooo many problems and reak so much havoc in life & relationships with others could be anything but a curse.

I was always taught growing up that things like these were somehow character flaws and aught to be minimized instead of embraced. A kind of yes you have this, but you aught to be working to diminish it in your life instead of magnify it.

[cd_britney_426]

Very good post, Britney.

People fear what they do not understand. And let's face, most of US don't understand it, why should we expect society in general to understand it. <sigh>

Of course it doesn't help that the inappropriate wierdos are the ones that make the news.

This is a wonderful board, that is very useful in helping us to come to terms with ourselves. It's certainly helping me to accept myself as "normal". :)

Patti

Apparently, there are a lot of us out there because I have never seen a discussion board with such a high volume before. I don't see crossdressing as abnormal in any way or really anything that needs an explanation. There is a gray area to many things in life which is something most people cannot understand. Even those in the minority cannot understand it. For instance, I am a bisexual crossdresser. Just as I'm comfortable with intimate relations with both sexes, I'm also comfortable expressing both genders. So gays and transsexuals even have trouble understanding those like me who are comfortable with both sides of both issues since they only know the one side that affects them.

It is a shame that American culture among other cultures has the inability to promote thinking outside of the box and instead promotes dwelling on mundane meaningless and thoughtless concepts and ideas. If I showed up to work crossdressed, they would probably send me home, tell me to go change into "normal" clothes and come back, and then I would get written up and told not to do that again. Yet there are people at work who weigh over 400 pounds and continually have a mountain of potato chips, chocolate candy bars, and Coca Cola bottles on their desk stuffing their faces with such junk and if the company put them on a suspension and told them to "clean up" their life before returning to work they would be sued and the individual would say it was a "disability." Likewise, it is ok to get out your seat and go outside and consume an addictive drug known as tobacco. So gluttony and sloth is ok in our culture but being different is something to be punished for. I hate to sound so cynical but just like I said in my last post, that is what the real curse is. It is not "us" but the society and the values it lacks.

[KimberlyS]

The only release for me was personal acceptance and finding out where CDing fit into my life.

[MalibuJenny]

I have often wondered how something that can potentially cause sooooo many problems and reak so much havoc in life & relationships with others could be anything but a curse.

I was always taught growing up that things like these were somehow character flaws and aught to be minimized instead of embraced. A kind of yes you have this, but you aught to be working to diminish it in your life instead of magnify it.

That's a fair perspective and one probably held by most of us for at least part of our lives.

And I think everyone can relate at least partially to the original post and poster but most of us recognize that 1) we can't change this about ourselves and 2) we want to try and make the best of it.

If you think about it, you rarely see someone here (or in the community in general) that regrets being more open and accepting of this part of themselves. On the other hand, those that fight it and are never able to see the positive aspects tend to be a much more unhappy lot.

I've stated this before but when you force something down and feel the need to hide it excessively, then that is going to breed shame and that always leeds to a dark place. The only really solution is to be as open as you can be and to try and embrace this part of yourself, which is what you tend to see the majority expressing here.

[Bootsiegalore]

also look up "two spirit" a native american term. These individuals were held in high esteem.

Tara

[Donna Michelle]

Crossdressing is not a curse. Being born a female in a male body is a curse. Crossdressing is my attempt to make me look the way I feel inside.

[Joanne f]

After reading the post`s it seams that some have found it to be a sort of curse and some have not so i thought i would try and look back on my life to try and figure it out .
In the early days i just thought it was something that i liked to do as i had not really thought about if anyone else did it as there was no Internet and no one seam to talk about it (for good reasons at that time ).
Then i saw a program on the Tv (television) about Transvestites as it was called in those days, and i then thought, hell i must be one of those, well i did not quite know what to think but at least i knew that there where others like me.
Then i noticed that it was`t so much that i liked it but more that i had to do it for some reason , it was beginning to control me not me control it, and now it has become a necessity even though i can look back and see all the harm and heartache that it has caused me and my family, and what makes it a bit worse is that i know that there is more to it that i just do not want to except, as i know it go`s beyond cross dressing.
In the end i think that it has a lot to do with what type of person you are , where you live and who you live with weather it is a curse or not .


joanne


As Meat loaf said, is it a blessing or is it a curse can it get any better can it get any worse

[Mary Morgan]

It is only a curse if you make it so. I wouldn't trade being transgender for anything, oh maybe for being female. I'll get back to you on that.

[Suzy Harrison]

I used to feel it was a curse when I was ashamed of how I felt many years ago.

Now I'm at peace with it and love the way I feel


:hugs: Suzy