What gives us that "Urge"

[Maddie22]

Hi All:

Its been awhile since I have posted much and really participated on this site in some time now. The last thread I started I stated how I was going to Asheville for a few days to get out at night some where different than home. Well prior to that trip and after that trip I got extremely depressed for some time, most of the semester. Well I knew I had to do something because I was having some very negative thoughts, so I decided to go to the student counseling center. Eventually I told my counselor after a few sessions about dressing, and we have been on the topic since. She asked me what makes me go into the mode where I do dress, I told her I wasn't sure. I'm totally en femme right now typing this, and I have been having the strongest feelings to dress lately, but I can't pin point the reasoning. She offered me to come in to a session dressed, and I could change in the bath room, but still not sure if I can do that yet. Anyways, does any one know what gives them the "urge" or sets them off to dress.

As of right now, my feelings are stronger than normal, wanting to take things further and further each time. For instance, last time I went out was in Asheville and I totally shaved everything so I didn't have to wear tights, just hose (wow, did it feel great) now I'm going to the tanning bed to get a good tan for once, i'm going to get everything waxed/shaved again, and possible pedicure, and my biggest reason for loosing weight is to look good in my dresses.

With all of this, I still can't pin point the exact reason to which it sets me off to dress.

So thats my question, what gives the "urge" or sets the "urge" off for you???

and a little more of a blog... Counseling is great, I am no longer depressed. If anyone has the means or needs to go, I recomend it, espeically if you are a student, it is included in tuition. My counselor is great, she is super nice and my aged, she has never dealt with the TG before, but the week after I first told her, she went to do her home work, and is seriously concrened for me and what makes me happy.

Asheville was great, I got a lot of great complements, I had a person tell me "my boobies look real" (thank you vickies) Some one asked me to come back so I could enter in the talent search competition, which they have one this month, and I'm seriously considering.

I'm going to try to be a little more of a voice on here, as well as maybe venture out to more friends as I am discovering more and more this journey of life and being TG (and wow, there is a huge TG umbrella that I have learned about through counseling) and I do promise one day to get a picture up, I do have pics, but they are not to my satisfaction yet, I'm becoming a perfectionist when it comes to my dressing. Well Sorry to write so much. I'll stop...but please answer the question:
what gives the "urge" or sets the "urge" off for you???

Thanks All!!!

[brookalicious]

I think you're asking whether any of us have "triggers..." which makes it sound incredibly close to an addiction.

But yes I have a few myself...

Any girl in denim short shorts sets me off... and sends me running to the closet to cram on my tightest pair, plus fishnet stockings underneath...

When my wife says: "Enough" in the angriest voice she can muster, I completely submit...

And, since we're swingers... whenever I see another girl kiss my wife, I moan horribly and wish I were her. (Mind you, it only takes a few seconds to pull out my hose and garters whilst she's busy...)



Perhaps its something to do with us, that we internalize all these sexual proclivities. Then again, sometimes on a stressful Monday, I close my office door and lock it and enjoy the feeling of the skirt against my thighs, so maybe its more than that...

:brolleyes:

[Karren H]

I have no trigers any more.... If I have time, I dress up and go out... if not, I don't... Lifes all about balance.... and I fit crossdressing into my life gust the same way I fit playing ice hockey in... Ok..... bad example... since I play 72 games a year and probably crossdress less than 50 times a year.....

Actually I'd rather play ice hockey than crossdress any day..... anyone can dress up like a girl, but tipping in a slap shot from the point.... now that's a rush!!! hehehe

[Carly D.]

For me; time of the year.. that would be now.. when girls/women are more likely to dress up because of prom and graduation and the more likely time of weddings to take place (summer).. the rest of the year a trigger might be certain smells, like perfume.. seeing women dressed up (a rarity anymore)..

[karinels]

i think the urge comes from within. i started dressing before i was 5 yrs old, so i think its something we are born with. as far as what triggers the desire from day to day? i get the urge from visual things. i live next to a rental hall, and seeing some of the women who attend functions over there and their outfits has caused me to dress when i knew i had other things to do. especially if i have a similar dress/ outfit in my wardrobe, lol.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, I don't get the urge any more per se. Like Karren, I either do it or I don't and I'm good both ways really. It's more of a specialty type thing as to how I'm going to present but it's mostly for emphasis in that respect. Sal is the performer and people person. Rich is the analytical person who solves and fixes things. Of course I can have either mindset no matter what I look like these days.:)

[Rachel%]

Actually I'd rather play ice hockey than crossdress any day..... anyone can dress up like a girl, but tipping in a slap shot from the point.... now that's a rush!!! hehehe

Never done the latter but i'm with you on that one!:)


As far as the Penguins over the Red Wings that would be harsh on Detroit after the season they've had,hopefully you can stuff the Flyers though,they are a dirty team full of aggressive bully boys,not fair what they did to the Caps!;)

[RylieCD]

My counsler has also asked me to think back and see if the urges have become more frequent or more intense. Some have hit there peaks and then fallen off dramatically. others are less intense but last a little longer.

[Celeste]

It is hard for me to pick any one thing that sets me off and I like it that way,I think I want it to remain a mystery.I may have a dream and when I wake really want to dress and not remember what it was in the dream that lit the fire.Whatever it is that brings forth the"desire" I think it's important not to condemn it but embrace it as a natural curiosity and window into yourself.

[Lara Smith]

As many of you know, I am 58 years old. I tried on a pair of panties when I was, as I recall, in pre-school. I’ve had a great deal of time to think about it. The urge is the urge is the urge. I do it when I can. Sometimes that is many, many months when I have even had the opportunity or the time to wear just a pair of panties or panties and a bra. It has been nearly two years since I have been able to completely dress. I miss it and I yearn for it.

As for triggers anymore, I’ll see something advertised I would really like to buy because I would really like to wear it and see it on me and feel it on my body. I will see a woman that has something special going on for her, and is wearing a great outfit and confidently strutting her stuff, and I want to know what is to feel like her and look like her.

But really, there is no trigger, other than thinking about how much I love wearing women’s things and feeling fem, sexy, and pretty.

[Rebecca-L]

I had to think about this answer for just a bit....

For me, the "urge" is always there. The real thing is opportunity. When I have the opportunity, then I indulge myself. I think it is just the way that my brain is wired. Sometimes the desires are stronger, but those times tend to be when fewer things are taking up my time. I guess that's linked to opportunity, as well.

[Joanne f]

There is not a particular thing that triggers it off for me but i have noticed that it is the strongest when i wake up every morning, but i do get jealous when it is hot out side and the GG can wear their skirts :sad:.




joanne :daydreaming:

[Ressie]

It's purely sexual for me.

[Layla]

I can honestly say that there is never a time when I don't have the "URGE". However, there are times when the urge is stronger. I am obsessed with the urge to look like a female. I don't know why this urge exists but it never goes away. It has so much consumed me, that two years ago I began taking female hormones and other drugs to minimize testosterone. I am very pleased with the results, but these hormones have neither increased or decreased my urge. I have been crossdressing since early childhood. It must be a trait that is inate. I have not had counseling for this nor do I believe that it would be of any benefit. What can you do when you yearn to be female. Layla

[CD Susan]

Here is my take on this one. I am seeing two words here, urge and trigger. For me urge is always there, it never goes away. I have to suppress that urge at times or I would never get done the everyday things that a guy has to do. Trigger now has a completely different meaning to me. To me a trigger is seeing a provocative tv commercial or a good looking women out in public and being impressed to the point that it sets off the urge to start a cd session. They are both good feelings but the trigger feeling is the stronger of the two. When this happens to me it is an all encompassing feeling that takes control over all other feelings.

[Alice B]

Every day there is a point that I think about dressing or have the urge. But, I only act upon it when the timing is right and I will be able to fully enjoy the experience, although it will be only at home. There are lots of triggers from advertising to seeing a beautiful woman on the street and they can intensify the urge, but you must be able to balance it with the practical side of your life, what you do, where you go and who you deal with. It could be called an addiction of sorts, but you can't let it control your life, or effect the life of others that may be close to you.

The exception would be the day that society as a whole accepted cross dressing as normal and that is not going to happen in our lifetimes.

[windycissy]

It waxes and wanes, in the winter I tend to let my body fur grow back so my dressing is more situational...this time of year I am totally shaved, so just looking at my smooth, sleek body reinforces my desire to dress myself up in women's clothes. I love how the soft, silky fabrics feel against my skin!

[debbiejoanne]

Amen Windy,
It is about comfort and a little bit sexuality.

[TxCassie]

I can understand your feeling Becca. Like most, I've been dressing on and off for most of my life (48yrs. now). And I've have had the "urges" all my life and like you I have often tried to figured out why, what are they triggers?

I know that when I do dress and continue to dress, the urges go away and is taken over by a more sense of normalacy (for lack of a better term). I think, at least in my own experience, it's during the time I don't dress that the "urge" builds. Once I address the "urge" by dressing, the urge no longer is an urge but more a desire, more a practice, more part of my everyday life.

I dress about once a week, many times, more. I do not feel those 'urges" anymore but I do feel I want, a desire to get home and shuck my male clothes and relax in a skirt and blouse. There are times, when because of my hetic schedule, I don't dress and I find since I am now dressing more and more, not dressing is ok. Only because when I want to, I will.

I think the "urges" or "triggers" comes from the building of desire that is not being addressed or "fed". So, in my view, anything could trigger the desire, a smell, a look, a song, etc...

I think the important thing is to come to terms with your transgender idenity, put it where it needs to be in your life (not every TGurl needs to be the Queen of the Strip, but merely, the Queen of Her World.), and relax, and enjoy postive feelings in your femininity.

Remember, we're here, you are not alone, all of us Ladies are here with you.

Cassie.

[Seville]

My "trigger" is the daily sunrise.

Non-sexual, just enjoyable.


...It has been nearly two years since I have been able to completely dress. I miss it and I yearn for it...

Many of us would EXPLODE having to go 2 yrs without dressing. YIKES!

[LilSissyStevie]

The :devil: makes me do it!

[Laurelanne]

mostly dont need an "urge" per say just when i feel like it,if my SO is also in the mood or have some "alone" time BUT...I have come to realize i am MORE prone to..if im under STRESS>>>:daydreaming:
Its a super release.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi All,

Oh my, we all have so much in common but difficulty explaining so we all understand.

I am an older gurl that has been dressing for a lifetime. Early in life I had this undefinable urge to wear female clothing, the feel of silks and satin offered me a sort of calm in my life. However, becasue of the dreaded society view I felt guilty after wearing feminine clothing. I would make empty promises never to do it again.....until the next time.

Later, In my 30's and 40's I tried to balance my life with career, dressing when I ahd oppertunity. I found that long periods without dressing I had almost a feeling of depression. I eventually began what I called "Gradually" where my wardrobe beame for feminine. towards the end of my career I wore panties to work and 24/7. It became a love/fear situation. Loving the feeling of being feminine, but fear someone would see a pantyline and discover the real boss they had. But that was also something that drove me further into a world of wanting more.

After I retired, and haveing a deep honest discussion with my wife I told her I wanted to experiance who I really am. She and I are deeply in love, although she has a difficult time understanding, and at best I would say tolorant of Jenny's desires. However, I have never felt better about whlo I am and really feel that the issues with who I am are others peoples problems. I have been comming out, "gradually" for the last year, and as I told my wife, I ma not sure exactly where it is all going, but I do feel good about myself.

I know this is long and has kinda gotten off the topic of urges and triggers, but in total I hope it helps others understand you ahve to be who you are to be happy.

Wish you all find that person in yourself.

Jenny

[Nikki A.]

The urge is always there but there are times when you can and can't do it. If the kids are out and I'm alone I'll indulge myself and wear what I feel like. Lately I've taken the next step and am trying to get out as Nikki more often and be myself. Be yourself and do what you feel comfortable doing. There is really nothing to be ashamed of and you'll find that there are plenty of people who are understanding and will support you as long as you are honest with yourself and them. Eventually you will find your own path and plateau.

[Claire3]

Its more a way of life 4 me now rather than an urge.If not at work i just do or dont.Mainly do!dont even think about it too much.Just accepted who i am i guess.:)

[christync]

I don't know about that "being born with" theory. I have a memory of me, at around age 4 or 5 being dressed by my mother. This would have been around 1956. I remember the area of the room in San Francisco, and wearing a skirt with matching suspenders and possibily a white blouse. My memory also tells me that she was pleased, as she only had two sons. It is possible that her positive re-inforcement later resulted in my expermenting with her clothes.
Chris

[Angela-Russell]

The urge for me is constant, it's with me all the time. Sometimes it becomes a bit stronger, which is usually triggered by seeing a girl wearing something really pretty that I would like to wear, or seeing something nice while I'm out shopping. There are times when I might not think about it much, such as when I,m busy at work, but it's always there at the back of my mind.

[emmicd]

My answer is simple.

I started this life of crossdressing at 5 years old innocently.

I always liked the colors and styles and choices.

As an adult and family man I still like the colors, styles and choices.

I also like the way I feel when I am able to dress in girls clothes.

I also like saying that I like wearing girls clothes even if it is only to myself.

I am a closet crossdresser and normal heterosexual male.

I am what I am.

emmi

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me I still have the triggers for me to dress if I have not dressed in over a few weeks.

1. A woman at work who dresses real classy.
2. Bad temper/Irritable
3. Headache

Thats about it for me.

[IlovStockings]

I don't get to dress very often at all but I get the "urge" to do so fairly often. It normally happens for me when I see a girl who is dressed beautifully and I just get to thinking how I would love to be able to wear those kinds of clothes and underwear. At that moment there is definitely a sexual component for me but once I get the chance to actually dress its all aout how wonderful the clothes feel and how good it feels to be wearing them. Its fairly hard to put into words. The problem for me is I can only dress when the wife is gone and that isn't all that often. So my "trigger" is my wife leaving town.

[satin_luva]

I'm still very young and dress almost chiefly for erotic pleasure. A few years ago when I was in high school I was having sessions with a therapist or a psychiatrist (one of the two) and I vividly remember that in the very first meeting in the morning, my crossdressing was brought to attention, because that was what triggered the sessions. In the afternoon after that session I was rushing home from school to get home quickly to slip into some nice lingerie and climax. My therapist was a very lovely, friendly, understanding woman and I believe that on that day when I was able to get all of my crossdressing secrets out to someone that would listen and help made me feel a lot better about it and that there are people who don't do it but condone it and understand it.

That probably doesn't make any sense to any of you who read that, but it is a very tricky subject to word properly.

[WomanAtHeart4]

Becca,
You are a fortunate girl to have a counselor you can not only confide in but is accepting and understanding as well. She is very rare. Good for you. I would use the opportunity as much as I could to better understand.
Next Level: Same here – each cd experience pushes me to the next level, more encompassing and complete experience in the woman experience. Thrilling and concerning!
Loosing Weight: I have no better motivator than to loose weight to better pass as a woman. Nothing more uncomfortable than a tight blouse or slacks.
What triggers cding? Some will say their trigger is constant. Some will say just breathing sets theirs off. Mine is not constantly on. After years of asking the same question of myself and attempts at resisting the urge, for me it is being around feminine women. For some reason, subconsciously, my mind transposes itself from a man’s perspective to a relating “with” woman as a woman. Does that make sense? Once triggered, I sense everything feminine about them; brushing their hair back, crossing of legs, the wonderful sensation of wearing a skirt, the bounce of full breasts in a bra, the feel of eyeliner, perfume, heels, the presence and aura of a feminine woman. Being around feminine women triggers my internalizing being a woman.
Sorry for not nailing it on the head – I don’t have it in a neat box – I wish I did!!!:)
Love,
Stephanie – Woman at Heart

[missattitude]

Well, there have been many times that i myself have thought what makes me dress, and quite frankly, I can't answer that. It's more than an urge, I think. It's more of who we are as people and how we want to express ourselves. If I could I probably would stay dressed 24/7. There is also that sexual drive to dress, which i'm sure most c'ds gp through. Maria