Ironic

[FlygrlChristy]

Does anyone else find it ironic that having a wife who is unaccepting of your CDing. She tends to pick your brain about your fashion sense, as it applies to what she is wearing?

My wife is always asking me if the shoes she is wearing go with the outfit she has on, or if she's unhappy with the way her butt looks in an outfit, she asks me to find a shapewear solution for her, she asks me to help her pick out her shoes with her, all the while I know she knows I'm eyeing things for myself.

Is this an underlying form of acceptance, or am I making a big mistake in thinking that. I doubt that she would even ask me these things if I were just a manly man.

Christy

[Shannen]

Relationships always have their ironic moments... But I think you need to take most things at face value unless there are other signs you shouldn't. Your wife wants your opinion. Give it. She wants to be your woman. Let her.

My wife also asks these questions, when I respond as a crossdresser, such as "I'd wear that!" she does not respond as well as when I give a simple, "Yes, that looks very nice together."

I save the crossdressing talk for when I am choosing the outfit. Then we can acknowledge the fact that I'm choosing shoes to match MY outfit, and that I like to dress nicely also.

You've said she is not accepting of your crossdressing, I'm sorry to hear that, but try your best to not make her dressing about your desires. If you are in touch with your "female" side, then you'll know that she is looking for validation of her beauty....something we all need from time to time.

Sorry if I went off a little... probably because I've forgotten these things myself from time to time... we are all still learning...

-Shannen

[CD Susan]

Christy, you say your wife is unaccepting of your cd'ing but at the same time is aware of your desire to dress and even asks for your opinion on matters of fashion. Am I correct in assuming twe two of you have disscssed this in detail and she will not tolerate this behavior from you? I feel like she is probably accepting to some degree or she would not be asking you the things she does. I think she is sending a message that you should be responding to. When the time seems right start a conversation on this subject and you might be pleasantly surprised to her reaction. This is just my opinion and I could be wrong but If I were you I would be looking for clarification on her stance on this.

[Angie G]

I don't know. my wife always asks me the same things. But she knows and is accepting. :hugs:
Angie

[trannie T]

She does not care for your dressing but she does respect your fashion sense. And she appreciates the fact that you never tell the truth when she asks, "Does this make my butt look big?"

[SherriePall]

My wife, too, while unaccepting asks me about outfits, jewelry, etc. When I say that I don't know anything, she tells me that yes I do. Could be true, but she would have a fit if she knew how I learned these things -- from SA's up and down the valley and from my pedicurist.
BTW, my wife does give me some space when I need it to dress -- in our bedroom away from snooping eyes, including hers.

[JenniferR771]

My wife gets angry if I even mention cd. She would never ask for advice. And when I asked if I could help her pick out an outfit for next day at the office she promptly refused. She didn't sign up for this. Maybe there is a little redneck in her farm family. A little homophobia, perhaps. So I don't push it. She knows, but refuses to discuss cding.

[Vivian Best]

My wife constantly asks me for my opinion of many things she wears, or does, her hair, and many many other things. I can safely say she is not indirectly signaling her acceptance of my crossdressing, far from it! Asking my opinion is something she has done all of our married life.

["Mary"]

I'll take the "yes - ironic" side of this. My wife is borderline tolerant, not supportive and constantly asks my opinion. She often tells people what great taste I have in selecting gifts for her and other women in the family.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi Christy,

Oh Lucky girl! Yea I think your wife does look at your opinion as if you were not only a husband but a girl friend.

[Nadia-Maria]

Asking my opinion is something she has done all of our married life

Me too. She asked my opinion before she knew - as well as after she knew - about my CDing.
And she just tolerates my CDing out of her view. So my CDing has nothing to do with her asking.

[Deanna2]

I'll go along with Vivian and Nadia. Wives desire acceptance on how they look and they have to ask someone - so why not a husband. Now I know that wives have a habit of being devious at times, but sometimes they have been known to ask a direct question. I'm sure that many guys have asked their wives if they look OK - like 'is my tie straight?' No hidden messages there, surely.

[Christie ann]

my wife is not at all accepting about any form of CD but will ask me how she looks in different outfits. This is just one of her ways of saying she wants to look good for me. I agree that one phrase I must stay away from is "I would wear that".