Going out and guilt

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Do any other girls here go out dressed and not tell thier wives? My wife knows I dress, but does not know I have been out dressed. Although I have been out with her dressed (I drove her someplace, and did not get out of the car) she does not know about any other time. Also, I have made plans with another girl this weekend, and I am feeling guilty about not telling her. On top of that, we are experincing a stressful event that is long and drawn out. I feel that this outing would be good for me, but if she found out, she would be hurt.
With all of this in mind, I cannot deny my need to dress. It can be a source of frustration, and guilt. Also, I do not want to cancell with the girl who I made plans with. This is going to be her first time out,and I want to help her experience it. Please help with any advice! Thanks

[Butterfly Bill]

I see trouble ahead, and it ain't in River City! Best you should cancel that appointment you made with the other "girl" (who I surmise is a male CDer). Somebody might see you and think you're with a real girl, and the word might get around to your wife.

[Holly]

Jennifer, please help me to try and understand something... why would you do something that if your wife found out about, she would be hurt? I'm sorry that you and she are going through a long, stressful event. But behaving in a way that is making you feel guilty can not be helping that situation. As hard as it can be, sometimes it is necessary to put your own comfort aside and do something for those who love you. There's a choice to be made here... Your wife's well-being or your girlfriend's disappointment in you not being able to go out with her.

Have you considered telling your wife what is going on? Maybe even inviting her to go out with you and your friend? Who knows... she might appreciate a change of scenery for a few hours as well.

[Seville]

...With all of this in mind, I cannot deny my need to dress. It can be a source of frustration, and guilt...Please help with any advice! Thanks

Perhaps, just perhaps, your "guilt" is in keeping secrets from your wife.

I personally keep no secrets from my wife.

But you and you alone have to make that decision.

:2c:

[paulaluvssz8]

I too would like to be supportive to someone who is going out dressed for the first time. But you should consider your wife who has loved you and been there for you through things. She knows that you dress and supports it, then you are too lucky... And the last thing she needs is for you to do something like this that might hurt her, and even your dressing time....

Think about it, and be smart. I am sure that your friend will understand. If they don't then they are not your friend.:straightface:

[Emily Ann Brown]

I HAVE done similar (going out dressed, and with others) without my then wife knowing (she didn't know about me)....would I do it again, expecially if she knew and was supportive? NO.

Don't screw up what you .


Emily Ann

[Rebecca-L]

The last thing that you want to do is remove any level of trust that your wife has for you. It's very hard to get it back.