PDA

View Full Version : I desire an honest thing...



Katie Ashe
05-09-2005, 10:12 AM
I know how I feel as A MtF CD'er. And read alot about how others feel in the male forum. My Q is : Why do (FtM) you feel the need to dress up and be a guy? Have men pushed you away for so long, not loved, or just don't like girlly things. What is your driving feelings? I truley want to understand. Thank you for any responses ahead of time. :)

Katie

Gozer
05-09-2005, 11:00 AM
I know how I feel as A MtF CD'er. And read alot about how others feel in the male forum. My Q is : Why do (FtM) you feel the need to dress up and be a guy?

I'm sure the reasons us FtM's have are the same as yours. It's very simple - I feel more male than female. For me, it's not a choise I've made, that's just the way I've been since I was a kid. I noticed it myself when I was about 7 years old, and before that, I remember how I thought of myself as a boy, but just didn't know that there was anything "wrong" with that yet. But like I've explained before, I'm not denying that I'm female either, which is why I prefer to call myself androgynous. My male side is just a little stronger then the female, and if I was given the choise, I would definitely prefer to be male.




Have men pushed you away for so long, not loved, or just don't like girlly things.

No I've never gotten much attention from guys, but like I said I've always been "one of the guys", and that's exactly the reason why no man would ever want to be with me - I'm not feminine enough. And trust me, that's a problem for me. But no matter how I dress, even if I wear make-up and dresses and try my best to act like a lady... I'm not. And this is not something I'm just guessing about, because guys have actually told me that there's no way any man will ever be interested unless I learn how to be a woman. So, I would say that if I did it to get more attention, it wouldn't work ;)

stephanie1000
05-09-2005, 11:07 AM
Gozer thank you for your post it's very nice to hear the other side. So often i think us crossdressers are ridiculed and made fun of so we have to keep things to ourselves. It is so refreshing that women can feel the same way as us men attempting to be women. And I am truely releaved that their are women out there that understand were us mtf cders are coming from. Thanks Stephanie :)

Katie Ashe
05-09-2005, 01:42 PM
Gozer I'm sure we have alot of feelings in common. I wasn't starting this tread to start arguments, I was simply tring to learn how you and others feel. I frown also when teased and asked why you wear that? Many people put down all MTF being trans or cd or whatever, it seems the the general public overlooks your choice as a women to dress and rather focus on men in skirts. We are no less human than females, last time I checked we were all born nude. I fail to understand when the public frowns on clothing choice. I mean if I go in the store to buy a cami, or my wife does, is her $10 more fem than mine? A cami to be sold is food on someones table, why should it matter whom bought it... anyways. I want to thank you for sharing with us, really :)

Katie

Gozer
05-09-2005, 02:46 PM
Gozer I'm sure we have alot of feelings in common. I wasn't starting this tread to start arguments, I was simply tring to learn how you and others feel.

I didn't think you were trying to start an argument, I'm sorry if I sounded like that :)

Katie Ashe
05-09-2005, 02:58 PM
No problem Gozer, Just tring to communicate sweet heart, I thought maybe a miss understood something, sorry. I am just tring to get this side of the forums oppion for once, I don't want to exclude FTM's, like I said I'm tring to figure out some things, and you guys/ girls are the only ones whom understand and can talk to me without violence. Thanks again for your response. Would anyone esle lick to share?

Hugs, Katie

Abraxas
05-09-2005, 07:38 PM
Well, it's an internal thing, just like with MTFs.

I don't see how you could think it was any different, really. I've been asked by loads of MTFs why I would want to dress like a male.

The truth is that I (and most FTMs, probably) am gender dysphoric. I wasn't pushed away by anyone in any way. I've always felt like a boy since I could remember. I can't stand being a girl but there's nothing I can do about it.

Dressing like a boy is merely an outward expression of an internal conflict, just like it is with MTFs.

Katie Ashe
05-09-2005, 10:44 PM
Abraxas I understand what your saying. It probly was a dumb Q anyways. I mean a child knows the sky is blue and takes it for granted, but still ask why it is anyways. I think thats what this ended up being :cool: . I assumed FTM have the same feelings and desires as MTF, but had to ask anyways :( I guess what I'm tring to say is, I don't want to take anyone for granted, I was raised to not judge a book by the cover. As with humans, specifically people like us, we accept what/who we are... I'm still figuring out why I am. the answer "because" was never good enough for me, for anything. Hope that makes some sense. I was looking for an oppinion to help define myself. Talking out load sometimes you answer your own Q's, ya know, for some reason I'm not hearing myself, most of the time. I am rambling on here and taking up your time so I'll stop now :)

X-Files: The truth is out there...

Katie

Abraxas
05-10-2005, 02:36 AM
Hey, mate, that's just fine.
I don't mind. Ask as many questions as you want, really. If no- one else will answer them, I will :D

takoyaki
05-11-2005, 07:10 PM
Ah, someone has finally decided to ask this question! XD

Well, I'll give you my reasons. I haven't read the other replies, but im about to after this. Ahem.

Why do I dress like a guy?

1: Girl clothing is very uncomfortable. Makes me want to rip my skin off whenever I wear tight pants and shirts that cling, show cleavage, and sleeves that tuck right under your armpits. Ugh. (That stuff also makes me sweat a lot more.)

2: Im a modest person. I prefer not to show skin, like cleavage, stomach, and thighs. Personally, showing skin makes me highly uncomfortable.

3: Makes me feel more confident, like I can take on the world and no one can do a single thing to stop me. XP

4: I don't want people to think im "delicate" like most girls are normally seen as. When I fight, I want people to take me seriously and not go easy on me. That stuff gives me the impression that they think im weak and just hacks me off.

5: I've always wanted to be a guy ever since I could remember. I used to watch the neighborhood boys with envy and literally hate my existence as a female. So if I can't accept it, i'll just deny it.

6: Guys are a lot more fun to hang with. Everytime im around them, I find myself cracking up, having a good time, just doing whatever. But when Im with girls, I feel like they're soooooo boring. And heck, I don't want to be like that!

7: I don't understand girls. I don't understand their shopping habits, choice in clothing, don't really understand make-up that well, I don't gossip much and find it a bit pointless... Plus, everytime I turn around, it seems like the girls are always pent up and PMSing towards the guys and just cant take jokes lightly. They just jump off the deep end and start nagging and chewing out guys that are just trying to lighten things up. It's agitating.

Im not sure what other people's reasons are, but that's mine. -_-;

Katie Ashe
05-12-2005, 08:08 AM
Thanks for taking the time to respond, the dark side has shed some light.

I'm starting to understand more each day... There is nothing wrong with being a conservative person takoyaki. I do agree with you on your points.

Although: I feel Amish as a guy, when I go clothing shopping, not much of a selection, the clothing lines over the years have really hit hot for women in general, look in any news paper flier, mens section rarely get more than a page or two.

As for the gossip thing, heel you got me, I don't understand either. My wife can be on the phone for hours at a time. I personaly hate the phone and rather not use it, unless I have to.

Thank you for sharing :)

Katie

Gabriel
05-13-2005, 09:25 AM
1: Girl clothing is very uncomfortable.Agree.

2: Im a modest person. I prefer not to show skinAgree. Although if I do show skin, I want bare FLAT CHEST. :D Seeing guys taking off their shirt in public on a sunny day makes me envious.

3: Makes me feel more confidentSomewhat. Especially when I wore the whole outfit to a dinner party for the very first time (alone).

4: I don't want people to think im "delicate" like most girls are normally seen as.Agree.

5: So if I can't accept it, i'll just deny it.Yeah.

6: Guys are a lot more fun to hang with.Actually, it's the personality. I have tomboy friends (who look like your average girls ;) ), and straight guy friends who gossip.

7: I don't understand girls.To be fair, I must say I don't understand some girls. Others I can empathize with.

Personally I have more negative reasons. But they are not helping the CD community, thus I won't talk about them.

takoyaki
05-15-2005, 12:58 AM
As for the gossip thing, heel you got me, I don't understand either. My wife can be on the phone for hours at a time. I personaly hate the phone and rather not use it, unless I have to.



Yes, I agree with that. I hardly ever use the phone. Maybe 4 times a year anywhere from 1-10 min. each time. I avoid the phone at all costs... Evil...

Abraxas
05-15-2005, 02:50 AM
lol I hate the phone too. I'll talk to people if they call me (sometimes) but I absolutely detest phoning people.

In fact, I'll only call someone if I know them well, and if I know that tehy're going to be the one answering. I don't like to call peoples' houses unless I know they're alone because I hate asking for people.

Pretty weird.