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Carla
05-18-2008, 10:46 PM
I have gotten where I am now with crossdressng and my wife by going VERY slow. It's paying off. I have been wearing pantyhose or tights almost every day for over a year now. Mostly pantyhose on weekends, black tights at work. My wife and I both run and socks were giving my ankles fits. Loose socks would fall down and tight socks rubbed raw. So I found some tights on line made for men and have a fly. I bought some to try out. They worked! No more pain in the ankles and no more leg cramps. I then started shaving my legs so the hose would stay up easier. Now my wife buys all my pantyhose and tights whenever I run low. For the last two Halloweens, I dressed as a witch with her help. One very cheap costume wig, green makeup, big nose with a wart. I had the black tights but no shoes that were convincing. So off to Goodwill we went. We found two pair of heels, one high heels with straps and one pair of low pumps. I like the pumps the best. We also found a bra that would fit. I got some really nice breast forms on line WAY cheaper than retail. And so that is the way it has been over the last three years.

She had mentioned once that she did not care if I wore panties. I tactfully let that comment go not to show too much interest. Last night when we got home from date night (yes we have been married 5 years but we still go out on a date every Saturday night), we were both a little tipsy and somehow got on Halloween again. She said what will you do this year and I casually said that I was a little tired of the witch but had no ideas. She mentioned Cheerleader!!! I said calmly that I was not sure I could pull that off. She said she had a black pleated skirt that was too big for her but it would fit me. I said yeah?? Why don't you get it. She did. Since I already had tan pantyhose on, I slipped the skirt on, she found a black sweater to go with it and it fit too. I got out my bra and breast forms which she had not seen since last halloween, put them on and my pumps. No makeup and I have no wig. This is the way I was dressed the rest of the evening while we watched a little TV before bed. She said my legs looked awesome ( and I agree!!).

Now for the best part! Today, while we were both very sober and last night was a sweet memory, she said she needed some help. Her Mother had picked up three dresses from a rumage sale that she may want to wear to work. She wanted to try them on and ask if thought they looked OK for work. The first two fit her to a tee and both looked very nice and professional. The third, before she put it on, she said I think this one is too big and if it is I'll give it to you or Kelly (a girl where she works). My heart leap! Just as casual and non-chalant as can be, she was offering me a dress! Well, it was too big for her so she took it off and then started to help me in to it, but it was too small for me, so I guess Kelly will get it, but WOW. Here was my wife helping me try on a dress.

The hard part will be to continue down this little path at the same pace. Slow and easy. It will be hard, but patience has really paid off.

I just had to share this with someone.
Thanks

uknowhoo
05-18-2008, 10:55 PM
Wow! :cheer:!! Good for you, sweetie!! You've definitely earned the "Pink Fog Free" label! :D Though it might be a lil challenging, I know you'll be able to keep the pace in check. Thanks so much for sharing your good news. I'll keep an eye out for ya next Halloween- shish-boom-bah! :cheer: xoxo Tammi

Elizabeth2-
05-18-2008, 11:15 PM
slow, truth and dialog; these are key to the process with your SO. Congratulations!

JoAnnDallas
05-19-2008, 09:14 AM
Congrads.........I too had a experience similar to yours. My support group has a banquet/Prom for the June meeting. My wife has MS and no longer likes to wear dresses or skirts because of the difficulty of getting in/out of them. So she asked if I would like to have her two long formals. She has only in the last month become more accepting of my CDing. So she helps me try on the first one. It fits except for the long sleeves. They have a little button closer at the wrist. I could not close them. Guess my wrist is larger than my wifes. So she helps me with the other one which has short sleeves. It also fits. So now I have two outfits to choose from for the Banquet/Prom.

debbeelee1
05-19-2008, 10:03 AM
Good going! Slow but sure and be very honest!

Cayce
05-19-2008, 10:27 AM
That's great! But be sure to keep that patience level. It's easy to feel encouragement and get emboldened. Keep it slow and steady (and honest) and it'll continue to pay off!

Tomara
05-19-2008, 03:28 PM
It is great that your wife is that comfortable in your relationship to explore this with you . I would also repeat try to take it slow , you wouldnt want to loose that support . good luck and keep us informed of your progress. Tomara

Vivian Best
05-19-2008, 03:43 PM
Congratulations are in order for your Major Breakthrough!

Alice B
05-19-2008, 07:27 PM
Slow of course, but I think you have reached the crest of the hill and the going will be smoother and faster now. Since she has offered the dress and cheerleader skirt and has seen you in forms, etc. you are ready for a wig and make up. Ask her to help apply the make up and make it a shared event. Then once that has been done have her take pictures of you and share.:love:

Carla
05-19-2008, 08:20 PM
Thank you all for the nice words and encouragement. I will of course be completely honest and keep it slow. It has worked this so far so that alone tells me this is the right path to take. I do hope to have pictures one day......but not unless she my takes them! Maybe next Halloween or maybe this time next year. I think I will know when we are both ready.

I also want to thank the moderators for this great web site. No matter the "problem" or "issue", one of us has had the same experience and someone has a possible answer. You all do the community a great service.

CD Susan
05-20-2008, 03:54 AM
What a truly wonderful story. Every time I read of stories about cd's and thier understanding wives or So's it brings tears to my eyes as I was not so fortunate when It came to my ex wife. She could not accept it and we divorced because of it. It is sad but that was the reason that our marriage ended. She had such a narrow mind and could not accept cd so we parted ways many years ago. I am much happier now and am single and I do not have to explain my lifestyle to anyone.

Deanna2
05-20-2008, 06:13 AM
You have to gives wives time to adjust their feelings if it is going to happen at all.

Lilith Moon
05-20-2008, 08:13 AM
The journey to SO acceptance can be long with some backward steps here and there and takes patience. It sounds like you are doing great. Read my post in Out and About to see where we are right now. It has taken 8 years to get to this point but, oh my, arriving feels good :heehee:

Lora Olivia
05-28-2008, 09:36 PM
I hope that this also involves lots of open communication with her.

"Mary"
05-29-2008, 05:54 AM
Wow, Sounds like things are going very well for you. I'm very happy for you.

Angie G
05-29-2008, 09:04 AM
Way to go Amy keep up the good work you go girl.:hugs:
Angie

cosmolovesph
05-29-2008, 10:05 AM
Very nice evening and progress for sure!

Debbi
05-29-2008, 10:19 AM
Well done Fran! A lot of girls should take note of how well you have taken the SLOW road to allowing yourself to express your Feminine side. You area perfect example of how someone should focus and respect their SO's needs and feelings. It is at times, VERY difficult to not loose one's self in the PURE JOY and Wonderful freedom of being able to express ourselves as who we are and at the same time unknowingly close doors that were beginning to open.

Anything worth doing is worth doing right and you are definitely on that track! I am SO happy that your self-controlled efforts are paying off for you AND your wife. You are both very lucky to have each other. YAY for both of you! You've obviously found the right speed. Set it and enjoy!

Debbi

Carla
05-29-2008, 03:18 PM
Thanks to everyone.

If someone were to ask me how I would sum up this website in a word, that word would be VALIDATION!

Validation that I am not alone.
Validation that what I am doing is right for me.
Validation that with respect to my relationship with my wife that good IS possible given the effort.
Validation that people like you of every political, religious, economic, and ethic stripe can put all that baggage aside even if but for a moment to offer a kind word, support, advice, and love.

Thanks

Notbychoice
05-29-2008, 05:53 PM
I just wanted to say congrats on your breakthrough. You are truly blessed to have such a supportive SO. Don't forget to return the favor to her. Maybe go out shopping with her and buy her a new dress or shoes. Just remember to give her back as much as she give you.

Joann0830
05-30-2008, 12:17 AM
I just wanted to say congrats on your breakthrough. You are truly blessed to have such a supportive SO. Don't forget to return the favor to her. Maybe go out shopping with her and buy her a new dress or shoes. Just remember to give her back as much as she give you.

When my spouse was alive she did what your spouse does for you and I do agree, that you should tell her How much you really Love her and Thank her for being understanding and take her out and show her how much by getting her a nice outfit or as mine use to love a gift certificate from a nail or hair salon. You have a special Lady there an may I say she is a one in a million, I know I had one too. It would have been 35 years on the 26th of May Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love: