Wife Says no woman will ever accept my crossdressing

[AKAMichelle]

This statement along with the additional comment that the only ones that will accept my crossdressing will be some freak of nature.

Needless to say, my wife and I are getting a divorce after almost 25 years. I recently explained everything about my crossdressing to her and our marriage went in the sh..er very rapidly after that. She claims that she is very accepting. She doesn't mind if I wear panties, but that's it. If I wear something else, then it is destroying our marriage. Anything I do without her permission is destroying our marriage. I might have been more understanding of these comments, but the marriage has been over for a long time.

Cause of Death = We grew in separate directions.

The hardest part is that we have being splitting on good terms and trying to stay friends until tonight. Tonight she just laid into me with both barrels. I gladly accepted full responsibility for our marriage collapse. It's wasn't enough. Now all I can do is count the days until she moves out. She gets 99% of everything. I get the bills and I have to pay alimony and child support. Even with the steep price of the divorce, it seems cheap to me. Soon I won't have to listen to her.

Several months from now I will be divorced. I have never gone out fully dressed before. I think the day she moves out I will celebrate by having a makeover and going out for the evening.

Now in the next few weeks I hope to be able to decide what to wear. So many choices to make. :D

[DanaR]

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Hopefully things will get better.

[Mollyanne]

Hi, It saddens me to hear about your upcoming divorce but the bright side will be not having to listen to "its all your fault", "is there something wrong with you", "are you a freak" etc etc.
I wish you well and pls remember that you can find friends here.


:love: Mollyanne

[RikkiOfLA]

Dear Mollyanne,

Please accept my consolations as well.

Of course I can't say for sure if any woman will ever accept your crossdressing. But I can share with you that there are several accepting wives and girlfriends on this board, and I am married to a very accepting woman, and before her death, was married to another one. So it looks like the odds of acceptance are much better than your wife thinks.

I think your future will be much brighter than your present!

Blessings,
Rikki

[Di]

So sorry :hugs: you are going through this. You said..... the marriage has been over for a long time..... so things can only get better.... it is just getting through the next few months:hugs:Hang in there:hugs:

[deja true]

Michelle, dear one, we both know your wife is wrong, so don't let her arrogant, self-centered opinion be the final word for you.

If you really want a relationship with an understanding woman, you'll eventually find one.

If not, then living alone but free of such a controlling, selfish individual still seems a better option to me. If, as you say, your marriage was over long before you even introduced Michelle into the picture, then it's obvious it was for reasons other than dressing.

It doesn't sound like your beating yourself up, but still, try not to when the 'fit' really starts hitting the 'shan'.

We're with you in spirit, hun. That's gotta count for something.

good luck, Michelle, let us know...

deja

["Mary"]

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Virtual hugs.

[Rita Knight]

Hi Michelle,
Sorry to hear about your divorce. Please take this advice from a divorced gurl. Generally, both parties mess up a marriage. If she does not even think that, well.....
Have you ever been to Tri-Ess? Chances are you won't meet a future mate there but there are plenty of wives who accept CDing by their husbands there. I think your wife's statement is propaganda on her part. I know you can find one, but it may take a lot of looking.
Some things about me. I did not dress while I was married. I have never ever regretted getting divorced. I have given up on ever finding a female companion.
Things should get better. I do not miss at all the constant arguing and the back aches caused by stress.
I hope you find better things through this trying time.

[gagirl1]

i am so sorry to hear that things did not work out. i do not know you, but hearing such things breaks my heart. you mentioned alimony and child support. i know i don't have to tell you how important your children are to you, but right now, and for a long time to come, your kids are what matters. **** the money, **** dressing, **** luxuries. your kids matter most. it's hard, they won't understand, but be strong, and come to us when you need support. you will get through this.

[Nikki A.]

Life sometimes doesn't seem fair. Right now just take of yourself and your kids, thats what life is all about. If things don't get bitter it may mean there is still something there and a separation may be what you both need to see that you're both not so bad.

[Tamara Croft]

None eh? well aint she just wrong :rolleyes: With all the GG's on this forum, I'd have to beg to differ at her statement Michelle. I won't say I'm sorry for your divorce, you seem to be quite content about it, if not looking forward to it all so you can finally be who you want to be. I'd like to know though, how come she gets 99% of everything? how does that work?

[laceyjessica]

can we both be married to the same woman. Sorry to hear about the divorce, my wife is the same exact way she will let me wear panties and thats it. if she ever forund my gowns wigs heels and countless other things that would be the end of me

[Daintre]

I am sorry to hear of the pending divorce Michelle, going through a divorce can be a messy hurtful event. I wish you well, but I do feel you deserve a better distribution of assets though.

[Debutante]

My first wife tolerated my cding... I was still struggling and coming to terms with it. But we divorced over other reasons.
My current (2nd) wife is acccepting and encouraging of me to explore it deeply. Of course, she is a therapist and very spiritual... this is an exceptional relationship.
Yes -- there are women out there who WILL support your CDing..

[harmony]

i wonder how many couples live side by side hating each others guts not beeing able to make decisions!when you feel your time together is over its good to move on.may be cding was a good trigger?
we grow more strongly than ever as individuals and to spend a lifetime on the same path with another is getting very rare.the biggest mistake is not to move on!
when i did it is was incredibly liberating!

[DemonicDaughter]

Some of us very accepting GGs are freaks of nature. But I always thought of it more like "an endearing quality". :D

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Michelle

I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but your wife's statement is a generalization, and like most it's wrong. I'm a post-op and still happily married, in fact we're happier than ever. That's not to say it's easy to find someone, but finding a life partner is never easy anyway.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Emily Ann Brown]

WRONG WRONG WRONG !!!!

I have found one, and have 2 standing in line hoping the first one changes her mind. Just go slow sis....first, let the one who wants out get legally clear.


Emily Ann

[Krystal Lee]

Michelle,

I am sorry to hear that things have not gone well for you.

Your outlook will help carry you through and let it be known that your soon to be "ex" is wrong.

DemonicDaughter is correct and those with "endearing qualitys" are out there.

When you need a boost come back to the forum, a number of fine understanding people are here for you.

Hugs Krystal.

[Tomara]

Hi Michelle , I am sorry that you have to go threw the pain of divorce, but from what you wrote you will be much happier when you are finished with that part of your life . Try to stay positive,you have a great support group here and many friends to help you threw it all :hugs: Tomara

[Vivian Best]

Hi Michelle,
I'm taking a slightly different direction in response to your situation. I'm going to congratulate you on your coming new life! I wish you the best in what ever direction your life takes you. Most of all thought, I hope you can maintain a relationship with your children. Don't let that be taken away from you.

[debbeelee1]

Good luck to you Michelle. There are women out there who support and encourage CDing, my SO is one of them. If you look hard enough and are honest enough you'll find one too!

[Cayce]

Hi Michelle.

Sounds like you'll make it through the actual divorce pretty well, but as some others have said, just make sure the kids are the top priority. Nothing's more important than that.

There certainly are women out there who are accepting and are supportive - I'm married to one of them. Don't ever lose hope and stay true to yourself.

-Cayce

[Donna Michelle]

I am not sure I believe your wife wants to leave you, because she doesn't like the clothes you choose to wear. It doesn't really make sense to me. How can you leave someone after so many years of marriage unless you grew apart? Is it the crossdressing itself or what other secrets, lies or activities went with it?

Maybe she thinks you are gay, dating other people, kinky or just embarrassing. If she is that shallow, you don't need her. My late wife Julie knew about my crossdressing and went places with me. I wasn't doing things WITHOUT her. We had fun. My current wife shops with me, too.

Unlike Julie, I kept my dressing a secret from her until we were married and had a son. After 5 years of marriage, I told her, but I just wore her underwear under my man clothes. I recently came out and she bought me LOTS of clothes, jewelry, shoes and things. She had crossdresser friends before she learned about me, so she talked to them for support.

She never thought I was gay, but she would get upset if I said I wanted to transition. I love my wife, so I will keep my man part for her. She has been very supportive, but I can't blame her for being upset or disappointed. Whenever I mention changing into a woman, she asks me how I would feel if she suddenly told me she wanted to be a man. I am NOT attracted to men, so I get her point. Still, she feels like she shares a room with a big sister and only dates the man she remembers. She wants more time with the man. We are trying to work that out.

You may consider counseling if you think that your wife still loves you and you love her. Or maybe you will enjoy the freedom to dress as you wish and find someone who loves you as you are. My friend Debbi still keeps her secret from her wife. My wife wonders why Debbi's wife doesn't know about the purchases, where "she" goes, the phone calls and so on. Actually, my wife thinks Debbi's wife knows, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She just goes drinking with HER friends and they are both independent. Of course, both of them were married and divorced, so maybe they like things that way.

I hope you both can find a solution that is best for both of you. Best wishes!

[JoAnnDallas]

Sorry to hear your and your wife are devoicing, but you did say it was not totally because of your CDing.
Yes there are women that will accept a CDer. My wife has decided to accept that I am a CDer and is OK with me getting dressed and going out dressed.

[Emily Anderson]

Michelle,

Sorry to hear about the pickle you're in. All I can suggest is to try to make sure you don't give in to excessive demands, because CD'ing is not a valid reason for divorce and you need to stand up for your rights.

As far as the future goes, rest assured there are women who are accepting, from the totally participative to the tolerant "OK, but I don't want to see it" type. I've had three girlfriends since I divorced seven years ago. I told all of them on the second or third date, and all three were accepting to various degrees. None of them wanted to stop dating after I told them of my CD'ing (they were all curious in fact).

I say this only to encourage you that there are women out there with an open view on the world, as you also can hear from the others on this forum.

[Beth-Lock]

Sorry you are going through a difficult time Michelle. Hope that things will work out as things go along.
The line that 'no one will put up with you like me, and now not even me' seems to be an old classic in relationship arguments, I would take it with a grain of salt, on logical principles. Of course it is not based on any hard and fast, facts.

[Deborah Jane]

I understand how you Michelle, i,m going through the same thing!!
Look on the bright side though [which i think you allready have]!!
From now on you can be yourself and dress and do as you please:)

Good luck and i hope it all works out for you:hugs:

[TxKimberly]

I am SO sorry to hear of your divorce. Even though you sound OK with it, I just hate to hear of a marriage ending.
Lest it offer you any hope for the future, your wife is incorrect. There are quite a few women out there that can accept us. I have a few good friends that have been married 20, 30, and 40 years (as have I).
If my wife ever chucks me out, I'm thinking I might ask DemonicDaughter out for dinner. Nah, I'm too damn old for her.
Besides, she's prolly taken . .
Maybe Tamara? Nah, dang it - SHE'S taken too!
How about"missy Anne's GG (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=14062)" maybe? DOH! Nope, she's taken too!
Let's see, maybe . . . nah, she wouldn't have me either . . .

[AKAMichelle]

None eh? well aint she just wrong :rolleyes: With all the GG's on this forum, I'd have to beg to differ at her statement Michelle. I won't say I'm sorry for your divorce, you seem to be quite content about it, if not looking forward to it all so you can finally be who you want to be. I'd like to know though, how come she gets 99% of everything? how does that work?

Sometimes you are so willing to get rid of an albatross that you will pay almost anything to do it. That's me.

Plus she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day. She told that I turned from God and everything else associated with it.

If crossdressing is a sin then all I can say is that it's one of many I will have to answer for one day.

[Danielle]

Sometimes we grow apart and not see it,I needed a woman to fully understand the entire lifestyle not just the clothes.Its more than that,its the emotional part about it and the accpetance,I get upset:Angry3: on how some women see it but to each its own hang in there girl.You are looking forward for your time so enjoy it when it comes:thumbsup:

[AKAMichelle]

Maybe she thinks you are gay, dating other people, kinky or just embarrassing. If she is that shallow, you don't need her.

My wife is embarrassed because I don't dress a certain way when we go out (in male mode) . Nevermind crossdressed. She says that I will look like a guy dressed as a woman and she will have nothing to do with it. Her biggest comment is that she thinks I want to become a woman. Therefore, she says that she needs a man!

So she says that she accepts my crossdressing but never wants to see or be a part of it. Don't Ask - Don't Tell. Plus it's a sin. :D

[KarenCDFL]

I can really feel your pain.

My first marriage sort of lasted 5 years and even though I told her before we married, she did a complete 180 after we married.

My second marriage is great and my wife is more than accepting. And after 14 years we are still going strong.

One thing I do want to comment on is as I have read through some of the posts, the majority is pointing a negative finger at the soon to be ex-wife.

Just as we who are multi-gender have to accept ourselves, that does not mean that others have to. It would have been great if she could have but she is not wrong!!!!.

What is right and wrong for all of us is an internal thing and we can't ever force another to agree or disagree. I tried that with my first wife. Just does not work.

Michelle's wife is fully capable of making whatever decision is good for her and for her it is the right one. The fact that it is not good for Michelle is a completely different matter.

BTW, I did go through years of therapy to be able to understand this way of thinking. And I have no malice against my ex-wife. She did what she had to do as I did.

Michelle, I truly wish you the very best and the best for your ex as well.

[sissystephanie]

Your wife never met my wife!! She fully accepted my crossdressing and supported me all her life.

Did your wife know from the beginning of your marriage? If not, then you know why she is divorcing you! You deceived her for many years! Certainly not all women are as accepting as mine was, but if you start your married life off with deception it will come back to haunt you.

I am sorry about your divorce, and especially about the way you apparently are being stuck! But don't give up on the female species, there really are some very nice ones out there!!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, but man underneath!

[Kimberley]

Sounds like your (ex) wife is using the crossdressing to deflect any of her own responsibility for the marriage breakdown. Been there and I refused to accept that from mine. She changed her tune.

Secondly she is grossly out of touch stating that no woman will accept crossdressing. No woman she associates with or knows will accept it maybe but believe me there are pleny who will accept it. The field narrows when it is inside a relationship of course but your SO is totally out to lunch with that statement. Only shows her own reluctance to get educated; but then with the marriage over, why should she?

Best of Luck.
:hugs:
Kimberley

[AKAMichelle]

Thanks for all your words of encouragement.

I guess I need to clarify something. In exchange of 99% of what she wants, she leaves my copyrights and business alone. Fair trade in my book. :D

I was feeling pretty down and I just got a phone call which changed everything. It appears that money won't be much of an issue. I am about ready to sign next week a huge contract. Money issues which bothered me will be removed.

I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live. :Party2:

[Rita Knight]

Sometimes you are so willing to get rid of an albatross that you will pay almost anything to do it. That's me.

Plus she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day. She told that I turned from God and everything else associated with it.

If crossdressing is a sin then all I can say is that it's one of many I will have to answer for one day.

If I am to be judged as sinful for being transgendered, I hope I am joined by all the parents who have disowned their children simply for being gay, lesbian or transgendered.

[bashful]

:D HI BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE KEEP IN THERE. THERE WILL BE A NICE GIRL OR WOMAN WHO WILL ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE. I LIKE YOU HAVE A SIMILIAR ISSUE BUT LIKE YOU MY MAN IS A MTF CD ONLY AND I HAVE ACCEPTED HIM FOR WHO AND WHAT HE IS BUT HE DOESN'T LET ME IN HIS WORLD I KNOW SOMETIMES HE NEEDS HIS SPACE TO DO HIS THING BUT HE ALWAYS LIKES TO BE LEFT ALONE HE SOMETIMES GETS UPSET FOR ANY REASON JUST TO BE LEFT ALONE IN THE ROOM BUT HE DOESN'T DO IT TO GET UPSET HE JUST DOES IT TO DRESS UP AN HOUR LATER HE JUST GETS OUT OF THE ROOM LIKE IF NOTHING HAPPENED AND THAT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL BAD I HAVE TOLD HIM I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM OUT THATS WHY I'M WITH HIM BECOUSE I LOVE HIM BUT HE JUST SOMETIMES DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU BECOUSE SHE DIDN'T JUST UNDERSTAND YOU AND ME BECOUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE A PART OF HIM I GUESS WE JUST DON'T ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE WISH AND DESIRE FOR RIGHT BEST WISHES FTM BASHFUL69. HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR FIRST NIGHT OUT :love:

[Sophia KT]

Hiya,

You sound much more happy than the last time you posted, if you don't mind me saying so [and if my memory serves me right].

Glad to see that.:)

It hardly seems worth answering her assertion.

[Melanie R]

I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live. :Party2:[/QUOTE]

You need to celebrate the end of your dreadful marriage and the beginning of a new life. Come join us on one of our upcoming crossdressing cruises where you can be enfemme among many supportive and accepting women who love being with a crossdresser. Several of these women are conservative, Southern Baptist who do not think being gender gifted is a sin.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Donna Michelle]

she stated last night after the post that crossdressing is a sin which I will have to answer for one day.

My sister-in-law said that to me. God made gay people and crossdressers. We did NOT choose to be this way. We cannot change this. I tried to quit and deny my true self and I was unhappy. We are God's children and God wants us to be happy and healthy.

The Bible also tells people not to lie, cheat, steal, get tattoos, be prostitutes, remarry a spouse after divorcing him or her and other things people do. We are all sinners. Jesus died for our sins. Heaven would be a lonely place otherwise.

Sorry to those who are not Christians. Not a preacher, but when someone uses religion to express their own personal prejudice, only religion can counter the argument.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"

[Pamela Julie]

Here's to your future Michelle! May you find that supportive, compassionate woman we all wish we had, and some of us do have. Where is the divorce reception party being held? Are you listed at VS?

Pamela:)

[becca sage]

sorry and big hugs!!! im lucky, my girl even gave my female side a name, becca, or rebbacca if she is mad at me heheheh, im lucky to have such and understanding girl, big hugs and youll find someone who does apreciate you for who you are inside as well as outside.

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks for all your words of encouragement.
I even feel like taking a road trip somewhere to celebrate. Never been out before. Michelle needs to see the world and be seen. I'm tired of being put in a box. I'm ready to live. :Party2:

Don't let your divorce get u down! It took me 2 years after me divorce to really start living again. Of course, MY divorce took 8 years!

On the other hand, don't jump into a relationship with the first girl that'll have u. She may, or may NOT, be the rite one. Find out who u r, what u want out of life, THEN find someone compatible with that!

[GlitteryBat]

Some of us very accepting GGs are freaks of nature. But I always thought of it more like "an endearing quality". :D

Hehe I have to agree with you on that :)

I am sorry about your divorce, but you know what, sometimes things happen for a reason, maybe you will be happier without her and find someone a GG that understands and supports you.
Best of luck hun!

[RobertaFermina]

The woman lives in a much smaller world then I can bear to accept. I do believe she is sincerely troubled by crossdressing, however she isn't getting any help from her faith or what it thinks Jesus was all about.

Oversimplifying, and emptying compassion from the word of "God" is Blasphemy, isn't it?

I am sad to see that you are capitulating financially in your divorce. In a marriage of considerable length, a stay at home wife deserves alimony. All of the money and none of the bills seems unfair. How about all the money left after the bills are paid ? or maybe a little less.

I don't know the details, obviously, but I hate the sound of capitulation...it is like giving in to the shaming. I'd rather stand up and risk being shamed by a judge or jury than carry the double shame of not standing up for myself. In a case where I might reasonably be shamed, I did this. I did not prevail entirely, but I came away with more power and all of my dignity intact....that is, bearing no resentments against myself.

Hope your path yields the same benefits for you!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[carhill2mn]

Our divorce decree was signed earlier this month. Although my ex-wife did not use the same words as your wife, she said much the same thing. At this time, I know that I will be very cautious about getting into a new relationship. I hope things work out OK for you.

[Kelsy]

I have been through what you are experiencing and it is no picnic but I will tell you that you're wife is wrong. There are many ggs that accept CDers and it is a expression of unconditional love. I remarried and have a wonderful wife, there are no secrets between us and she loves me for who I am. Fact is we have a lot of fun with our girl stuff. There is hope and you're future can be bright :battingeyelashes:

:hugs:Kelsy

[gennee]

Many women are accepting of their mate's crossdressing. Mine is accepting and it took some time, too. She says that it part of me. She thinks i'm weird anyway, a fact that I readily admit :D. My son accepts my dressing too and his GF doesn't seem to mind.

Gennee

:):hugs:

[sterling12]

So your wife reads the minds of, and speaks for all other women in The World. Simply amazin'! I'm sure your logical mind can read that kind of thing as pure B.S.

I can tell by your responses that your smart enough to know how vindictive and hurtful some people can be when a relationship comes to an end. Lick your wounds, do your grieving, and move on! Sometimes these cruel words can wreck your self-esteem for years, don't let it happen.

Do the proper thing for your kids, and the most important part is to remain a father, no matter what kinds of bogus roadblocks are put in your way. It has nothing to do with The Kids! Pay a fair child support every month, and keep your canceled checks! Always a good idea to keep some proof, sometimes it helps years later. If you have to pay alimony, be fair but try and limit the duration to a period of time that gets her retrained and employable. Those are your obligations, but don't spend the rest of your days in guilt. The past is the past, and you can't change anything that happened in The Past.

Oh, I forgot here is the good part. Unless you do something stupid and jump right back into another relationship, you can now explore whom you really are. Being single gives you a great opportunity to figure out your place on The TG Spectrum. Congratulations, I'll just bet that you will love the trip!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[AKAMichelle]

Here's to your future Michelle! May you find that supportive, compassionate woman we all wish we had, and some of us do have. Where is the divorce reception party being held? Are you listed at VS?

Pamela:)

I know this may seem stupid, but what is VS?

[AKAMichelle]

I am sad to see that you are capitulating financially in your divorce. In a marriage of considerable length, a stay at home wife deserves alimony. All of the money and none of the bills seems unfair. How about all the money left after the bills are paid ? or maybe a little less.


The key to the decision is that if I give her what she wants in money then she leaves my business alone. Plus she leaves sooner and I can begin having a life. I have made a lot of money in my life. I have gone broke 2 times before and rebuilt every time. Each time I end up better than before. This will be #3. Third time is the charm. :devil: I now get to be my own boss at home and in business.

Plus when you have kids still at home you have to do the right thing for them as well. You can't punish them for being born. I will continue to support my youngest and the older 2 which are grown. Being the head of the family requires me to stand up and take care of them. It doesn't mean that I have to stay miserable forever though.

My wife has a way of making me feel very alone and depressed when we fight. That has always helped to keep me in my chains. This weekend something happened. I decided that I must finish this. Regardless of the cost. When I finally decided not to back down, a huge load came off my back. Now I have something to look forward to. F-R-E-E-D-O-M

After I get the divorce finished, I am going to take some time off to discover myself again. No GG's invited. :D

[CD Susan]

Michelle, I too have gone thru a similar experience. I told my ex wife of 15 years about the cd side of me and it resulted in divorce. I hid this part of me for all those years and could not live that life any longer so I told her. I thought we had a good marriage and she would understand and accept this part of me. I was wrong. She was convinced that I must be gay and did not want anything to do with me from that day on. By telling her of my cd side I learned that she was not the person that I thought she was for 15 years. That was 13 years ago and I am a much happier person now. I think back now and realize I wasted 15 years of my life with someone I really did not know. It is a shame but I have learned from the experience and live a much better life now. I hope things improve for you and you can find happiness in your life.

[KATIE TV]

Michelle, I like you ended a maririage after 30+yrs not because of my dressing (I had been doing that for years in secret) but as you say it was dead, I decided almost imeadiatly to find someone else and DID! All I had to do was place an add in my local paper for finding a partner, the catch were the words "To help with my feminine side"
My phone never stoped ringing! which proves your wife wrong, unless they were all "feaks" of course, I met and now live with a loverly lady who loves Katie, maybe more than Colin (me as a man) So take hart "they are out there" Best of luck, Katie, X

[JoAnnDallas]

AKAMichelle said...


I know this may seem stupid, but what is VS?

VS = Victoria Secrets.

[FlygrlChristy]

Michelle,

So sorry to hear your going through all of this, but remember when one door closes, another one opens. I darn near lost everything in my marriage too about a year a go, and we are still hanging on by a thread. When my wife found out she swore up and down that I was an abomination to the Lord.
What I've since figured out is that I'm not going to burn anywhere, and God isn't going to turn me away because I'm gender gifted, and I'm the one that had to come to terms with it all. As far as I know I've never violated any of the Commandments in doing this, and are we not supposed to be accepted unconditionally. Some people in this world will never open their eyes to that fact, and will always point fingers and accuse those of us who don't fit their definition of normal, whatever that may be.

Christy

[cinderellaman]

Michelle-I'm very sorry to hear about your divorce:hugs:Don't worry, there are plenty of accepting GGs. You will find what you are looking for. Now , take a road trip & have some fun!!!:drink:

[KandisTX]

"Wife Says no woman will ever accept my crossdressing"

WOW.. if that statement is not on made in ignorance I don't know what is. There are MANY GGs out there who would love to date/get involved with/marry a man that crossdresses. Granted, it took me 4 tries to get it right and find the one that accepts, understands, and participates in my dressing, but I did finally find one for myself.

Best of luck to you hon.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[SusanMarie]

Just read this forum. It is evident that many SO's accept their CDs. My SO accepts, supports, encourages and participates. And probably understands SusanMarie better than I do. As my SO said to me when I was 'coming to terms' with my issues. Be honest with yourself and it will work out.

[Niya W]

Sounds like one last jab. Like saying I was the besting for you. You will never find any one as good as me.

[Angie G]

Sorry this is happening to you Michelle but I think you will be happy and at Peace and I'm sure you can find someone accepting to be with. Hang in there hun. and we are here if you need to vent or want to talk. :hugs:
Angie

[Celeste]

Congratulations,your free to establish your own ground rules,if others choose not to acknowledge them then they can walk.I think its wonderful to share but being happy shouldn't be dependent on it,so even if you don't find someone accepting right away,you can still enjoy your freedom and rebuild.

[Linda Daniels]

I completely realize how a divorce can effect one's feelings of self image & confuse numerous issues. Let me tell you what I think I am hearing...your wife has a huge history with you and knows exactly how to get what she wants by pushing the exactly perfect buttons. You, in turn most likely, are reacting to her as she has come to expect. The task at hand here is for you to become able to step out of your dance with her and make choices for the future that are...I hate to say this..."All About YOU!!" And I am referring to your business, finiances, relationship with your children & ability to function as a self respecting person after all this mess is over with. Doing that is the only way you will be able to be the best person for your kids and everything that you wish for yourself in this world.

Here is something to think about very deeply...If your wife wants out why is she so invested in making you feel miserable? Why is she talking down to you in such a disrespectful way? Why, especially if she believes she is going to take you to the cleaners, does she really give a crap? There is an answer here that only you can figure out.

One more thing...It won't matter one bit if you stand up to her...you are alreadying getting hit with both barrels & I assure you...Her sting won't "FEEL" a bit differn't if you do what is best for you and speak up. Think about it...hanging your head and doing what she wants has never pleased her has it???

She derives psychic income from demeaning you and keeping you in your place ...so she gets what she wants. (Think about what she really wants right now???...scarry isn't it?) The CD thing is just a tiny addition to her weapons that she uses against you.

Let me say this and then get off my soap box...If you don't stand up for yourself right now I suspect that she will continue to think she can nag you even after your divorce. You won't get the respect that you desire from your kids and your feminine persona will never blossom into it's fullest.

ahhh hummmmm...of course my comments have all been "Just my opinion" ...and I have no facts regarding this situation to have it be otherwise.....

(((((Huggs)))))))))

Linda

[DanaR]

I think that your wife is just messing with you. She knows you well enough to get to you.

[AKAMichelle]

your wife has a huge history with you and knows exactly how to get what she wants by pushing the exactly perfect buttons.

That is exactly what she is doing. She doesn't necessarily want a divorce but she wants me to act and behave the way she says. This is how it has been for a very long time. That's why she told me that their isn't a woman out there that will accept my crossdressing. Then she pulled out crossdressing is a sin. I know she will find something else so she can regain control of the situation. Maybe trying to turn the boys against me. Even if she tries and succeeds, it won't last. They will eventually remember they have a father.

Tonight we went looking for a place for her to live. I can tell that it hit her very hard tonight. When we brought the checkbook, she reminded me that I would have to open my own checking account. Then she heard the words she didn't expect. I already had gotten one and a new credit card in just my name. Then she kept acting like you just aren't going to let me go. You will come around. She is still in denial.

The hardest part for me is not going back. There is a lot of history here. Good Times and Bad Times. It will be hard to stick to this, but it is something that I must finish. If I go back and she agrees to change, it will only be temporary. She will revert back to her normal behavior within a few months and I will be trapped again. This roller coaster has to stop sometime so I can get off. :D

Michelle

[Stormgirl]

It's funny how someone that you love and trust can you hurt you so deeply.

[satin_luva]

She is a bitch. Make sure you take her to the cleaners... and clean her out good! :2c::drink:

[Cathy_CD]

Hi Michelle, I have been married for thirty years my wife knew about my crossdressing right from the start. We shop for femme clothing together, I dress just about every day. We shop for makeup together. My wife buy's panties and bra's and garter belts for me. She has always been very supportive of me as Cathy. Yes I know I am very lucky to have this wonderful woman. I think there are many women out there that accept crossdressing.

[deja true]

She will revert back to her normal behavior within a few months and I will be trapped again. This roller coaster has to stop sometime so I can get off.


Sounds like you know her better than she really knows you!

Good for you, Michelle!

Keep your courage up, dear one. You've already had more than your share of being mentally abused and intimidated.

[Emma England]

I think you should respell your title to:

No narrow-minded woman will ever accept crossdressing.

There are women that don't mind. Just read some other threads of happiness.

As to where to find one, I can not advise as I am single myself.

Hope the future is bright for you.

[JoAnnDallas]

I was afraid that my wife would reject my CDing when I told her about a year ago, but she tolerated it as long as she did not see me fully dressed. Then about a month ago she accidently saw me dressed and deceide it was not as bas as she thought and now accepts my CDing.
So there are women out there that will accept your CDing. A friend of mine got devoriced over his CDing and was of the same mind as your wife. He then he started dating a GG and told her he was a CDer and she accepted it. They go out together with him dressed.

[Sheena Pink]

Here's an accepting GG sending you hugs! :hugs: We are out there, just not as vocal as the not accepting ones! :hugs: Good luck with the next few months. I hope you find the perfect outfit to celebrate in!:D