Could CD be just a phase?

[tgirlinva]

I gather that everyone is different and sees CD differently. I am young (25) and think that it's fun to CD, etc... but when I think of my future, I don't see myself CD. So I wonder if it can be a phase since I hear the proverb that once you CD, it's in your blood and you'll always keep wanting to do it. I can't speak for how i'll feel in 10 yrs, but maybe some people went through the same thought that i have 10 yrs ago and could comment?

[tricia_uktv]

Honey, if its a phase its lasted me 40 years. It does come and go, but each time it goes it comes back stronger! I suspect you need to start to begin to accept that it will be with you for life but, we are all different.

When I was 25 I surpressed it like anything but in the back of my mind it was always there. Good luck, embrace it and have fun!

[Kate Simmons]

I don't know if it's a "phase" so much as it is a "state of being". I recently balanced and integrated my feelings so I don't have to do it but choose to. I now have other reasons for doing it, other than personal satisfaction, that have to do with who I am and what my purpose is. :)

[Phoebie Phoenix]

I don't think its a phase ... I purged last just over 6 years ago, and thought that was the end of it. It has come back into my life stronger than before now though ... you just have to learn to embrace it and enjoy it cos its not going anywhere ...

[Debbi]

It's definitely a way of life. and a wonderful at that!

[kaseymaekay]

not so much a phase but a recurring emotion, or state of mind.
To be honest i am at my happiest when en femme.

[queerunity]

gender identity lies on a continuum and is varied for people, maybe you are gender fluid and so what is today may not be tomorrow

[Sally24]

Your desire for it can vary greatly. When I was young it was more fantasy than reality. I thought about it off and on but it was not a central or even very important part of me. As I grew older I was more interested in trying it out. Once I hit the pavement things changed dramatically and it was something I needed once and awhile.....then once a month.....now I need it almost on a weekly basis.

You may not continue but I suspect it will always be there in the back of your mind.

Good luck and enjoy. You are at one of the best parts of your life and this is a fantastik time to be a t-girl!

[Deanna2]

I hope not.

[Joanne f]

Yes it`s a phase , that gos on and on and on :D my phase has lasted over 40 yeas so far :heehee::heehee::heehee:




joanne :eek:

[Gemma Rhodes]

No, I don't think its a phase at all. Some CDs may stop for quite a length of time (I stopped for 10 years in my 30s) but it was always there nagging at the back of my mind and when I finally gave in and let Gemma back into my life she came back so much stronger.

So you may stop in the future, but i'm sure you will start again.

[Holly]

It's not a phase, it's more who you are... kind of like being left-handed; some people can will themselves to be right handed, but it just isn't natural for them.

[queerunity]

those of you who had embraced crossdressing and then stopped for a period of time? what made you stop?

[TGMarla]

Yes, it's a phase. I go through this "phase" about 3 to 4 times a week sometimes! 35 Years and counting.

[Shannen]

Of course it's a phase... isn't everything a phase?

There are even phases of crossdressing along the journey!

Will you ever have 0% desire to crossdress? I would say probably not.

Could you repress ALL desires you have so that no one would ever know you wanted to crossdress. Sure, millions of men do that!

10 years, 20 years, 50 years??? Maybe the term crossdress will be obsolete someday! Maybe everyone will wake up each day and say I'm going to get "dressed" and not worry about it.

Is there a reason your concerned about 10 years from now? Have you already been told to "grow out of this phase"?

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am like most others here who have been long time cd'ers. I too made empty promises to myself to stop when younger and now that I have retired I have stopped making those promises I have accepted that "Jenny" is indeed a party of who I am, and growing.

I do wounder if the members of this and other CD chat rooms are inside a bubble? Are we so supportive of one another that we give "false hope" to one another that everything will be ok and that eventually the world will accept us and our little curiosity? I think that is part of the reason after I found the support systems available in the different CD chat rooms and support sites that I excelorated my dressing and developed an attititude that it is my life not others I have to be concerned about.

I am sorry, I feel as though I am rambling a bit however I want to thank all those who support gurls in being themselves. Unfortunatly the world is not perfect, but we all can try to make our own little world perfect for ourself.

[RikkiOfLA]

It's easy to quit crossdressing--I've done it hundreds of times!:heehee:

Blessings,
Rikki

[Emily Anderson]

It's quite possible that the desire does go away permanently, as witnessed by some of the people who disappear suddenly and no longer post in the CD forums. If only one of them would come back and let us know :)

Seriously though, I trust what I have always heard from the elders. The desire can wax and wane, but it will always be there at some level.

[Carly D.]

It's easy to quit crossdressing--I've done it hundreds of times!:heehee:

Blessings,
Rikki

A phase?? yes just keep telling yourself that.. I never thought of it that way. a phase.. hmmm

[jill s]

It's just a phase- little Johnny will stop wearing his sisters cloths.
It's just a phase-John will stop when he gets married to the right women.
Why does our neighbor John always have the shades down when his wife is gone?
Room 227 ? O ya that's the old guy who wears women's panties.

I'll miss him but why was he buried in that dress? The makeup was over the top too.

[LilSissyStevie]

Yes. Life is just a phase, too.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

This is a phase I've had my whole life, the times in which I didn't dress it was still on my mind.

[JoAnnDallas]

If this is a phase, then it has been a 50 year phase and I can not even see an end in sight. LOL

[docrobbysherry]

I can only hope it is. But, I hope to grow wings and fly one day, too!

[KandisTX]

I gather that everyone is different and sees CD differently. I am young (25) and think that it's fun to CD, etc... but when I think of my future, I don't see myself CD. So I wonder if it can be a phase since I hear the proverb that once you CD, it's in your blood and you'll always keep wanting to do it. I can't speak for how i'll feel in 10 yrs, but maybe some people went through the same thought that i have 10 yrs ago and could comment?

If it is a phase, I don't want to grow out of it. I've been doing it for almost 34 of my near 40 years. I wouldn't want to be any other way.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Gemma Rhodes]

those of you who had embraced crossdressing and then stopped for a period of time? what made you stop?

I stopped because I had a very bad experience whilst out dressed one night, then a month or so later split up with my partner and I became very depressed and tried to shut "her" out of my life, but "she" was too strong inside me and got back out and I thank god she did.

[Ayame]

I quit smoking I couldn't quit cross dressing. :tongueout

[Angela-Russell]

40 year long phase for me too. Never goes away, but gets stronger & stronger. I gave up trying to "give it up" years ago!

[Donna Michelle]

I have been crossdressing for more than 50 years! I quit a few times only to go back. You never really quit. You just go back in the closet and secretly wear your wife's panties. :D

[jennifer41356]

maybe for it will, but why think about it, just go out and fun and enjoy the moment, maybe in 25yrs you will still enjoy that female side...I know I do:love::love:

[Raquelle C]

Hmm, interesting question... I too am in my mids 20's and have embraced this part of me. I remember way back to childhood trying on stockings and such, even into my early teens I tried to 'purge' all of my stuff and get rid of it but that didn't last. In my late teens I started to embrace it and have even more fun with my CDing. I too thought to my self can I get rid of this and I am almost certain that I cannot, that has been reinforced by the many great people on this forum too. Is it a phase, for the rare few maybe, although for the majority definately not. Embrace and enjoy it how you see fit, most importantly be happy!

Raquel

[Jannette H]

I quit smoking I couldn't quit cross dressing. :tongueout

It is easier to quit smoking. I did that in 1991. I'm still a cross dresser that has never stopped:)

[cdjenny20]

For me, there are times in my life when the desire to crossdress isn't as great as other times. However, it never completely goes away and when I come out of those periods, the desire to dress is stronger than ever.

[Deborah Jane]

It,s a life phase...It lasts for life!!!

[Jane G]

I have to agree with the other girls current phase running at 40+ years, but maybe next year I will grow out of it. ( Sure hope not )

[JoAnnDallas]

The only ones that I know that ever quit CDing were those that went thru transistion. Once they got to the other side, they were no longer a CD.

[Sam-antha]

Relax It is a lifetime thing, it is your life, be happy with it. However, fair warning, once your shoozes clip the pavement there is no real turning back. You might believe it is poss to stop and you may junk your clothes and shoes...... do not throw them out, you will really want them again. Badly.
~Samm

[boy2girl31]

Is cd more to you about looking good or more about how you feel. Do you think that as you get older you woln't look as good or that you will not be able to pull off looking like a girl. If you exercise and take care of yourself you can be sexy at any age. Ask the older girls here they will agree. If that isn't enough look at Cher she's older and still hot.

[RylieCD]

I too have tried to purge and insist that this has all been a phase. It has been recently that I have learned that this is me and always will. I should learn to enjoy the cards that have been dealt.

[Amy07]

Hey, I thought is was a phase too, like 30 years ago. I too purged many times, but then chose to find a balance with Amy and dressing. I don't mean to make is sound easy, it is not sometimes. Be yourself and keep thinking. .... balance your life ....
PS: It is easier to stop smoking :)

[Jordan]

I agree with a lot of the replys it is not a phase it will be with you for along time, I think if you push it off when you do it again you will have stronger feelings to keep doind it

[RitaCD]

OK, all together now. Repeat after me. "No more purging."

I have lost some of my favorite dresses because I thought that I could stop dressing up.

[Charleen]

No!

[melisss2u]

If it is a phase what is next step?

[Deborah Jane]

If it is a phase what is next step?

Going back to being guys again??? :eek:

[charlie]

those of you who had embraced crossdressing and then stopped for a period of time? what made you stop?

I felt that I was doing something wrong and I was ashamed of dressing. Then I would purge all of the feminine things I owned only to have to get more. When I was about 40, I just lost the need. I stopped dressing for 17 years. I'm 58 now and have been dressing weekly for over a year. The urge returned strongly after being gone for all those years. Why? I don't know! Hell, I don't even know why I have the strong urge to dress.......but I do.

[NikiRosenman]

Dang... :heehee: Well then I guess I'm in it for the long run too. Yah, I'm a newbie but I'm pretty certain I'll be a CDer till I die. It's a bit of a ruff road but thats what gives us our character!

[JacquiUKTV]

It's quite possible that the desire does go away permanently, as witnessed by some of the people who disappear suddenly and no longer post in the CD forums. If only one of them would come back and let us know :)

Seriously though, I trust what I have always heard from the elders. The desire can wax and wane, but it will always be there at some level.



Hmmm...the antennae must be tuned to the same wavelength tonight; do I detect a "cri de coeur" here?

I'd been punting around for some time on-line, nothing to do with CD stuff, and suddenly felt inclined to come in here, which I haven't done for some time.

And I find your post Emily; as to whether the desire goes away permanently.

Well, I can only say this: if you truly want the desire to go away there are means by which that can be achieved. But it's not simple...not easy. The first step on such a path can only come about if you decide that the dressing issue is something you'd rather be without....for whatever reason; maybe you feel that it consumes too much of your attention, a bit like a "processor-hogging program" that holds too much sway over your life? That was my perception.

And it will involve a personal process that you can only create for yourself....I have no simple answer that would be universally-applicable. For each, their desire to CD will prove to be a complex issue that only the individual can resolve for themselves. Yes, there are commonalities that can make it seem that there is some simple "root-cause" for the phenomenon...but beware; this is likely to be nothing more than an "apparency".

We hoomans love to solve problems...find answers; and we suffer from the tendency to deceive ourselves when a true solution can't be found; there is the tendency to say "Oh well then. It wasn't a problem to begin with"....which conveniently explains our inabilty to find a solution....as espoused by current-day psychotherapists.

In my case, I spent some time with a certain "modern religion" which promised much and delivered rather less; but that said...I did in fact experience gains and improvements in my life which I'm grateful for.

Per se, it didn't handle my need to CD, but sure went a long way towards explaining/understanding it. And taking this in combination with a re-appraisal of my ideas about God (existence of) due in no small measure to my involvement on this board for about a year now esp. in the RDG (TY Holly et al)

I find myself at a point where the CD issue is for me litle more than a triviality in my life. I can dress/not dress. It has no charge...no importance one way or the other. And I believe that's how it should be; there is nothing intrinsically wrong with expressing one's feminine attributes at choice; to be repulsed or revolted from it would be an aberrated point of view IMHO.

Hope my ramblings make sense; there is obviously much more behind all this, but one is compelled to precis somewhat in the context of a post.


Much :love: to all....God bless.

[me2]

Yep
For me does phase in and out. I lead a "Pretty" manly life day to day but there are times when I get some privet time and the "phase" comes over me and I just love slipping in to something soft and pretty and just relax and injoy my feminine side. :2c:

[CD Susan]

If this is a phase then it has been a 50 year phase for me. The only time that I did not dress since about age 7 was the four years I spent in the military. During those four years I was constantly in a state of depression and frustration because I could not cd. Since leaving the military 37 years ago I have dressed at some level every day. The urge is always there so this is definately not a phase for me.

[queerunity]

I felt that I was doing something wrong and I was ashamed of dressing. Then I would purge all of the feminine things I owned only to have to get more. When I was about 40, I just lost the need. I stopped dressing for 17 years. I'm 58 now and have been dressing weekly for over a year. The urge returned strongly after being gone for all those years. Why? I don't know! Hell, I don't even know why I have the strong urge to dress.......but I do.

What made you change your feelings about the notion of dressing after 17 yrs?

[deja true]

Honey, I gotta admit this the first time I haven't read all the posts in a thread before replyin'.

But lemme tell you somethin'...

This ain't no phase. This is your life! It's as much a part of you as your eye color and your dislike of okra! It's an addiction that you can feed or not, as you will. But even if you suppress it, it's still there!

We'll always, always stick with the things, the products, the habits, the people that give us pleasure. And dressing gives us pleasure. Sure there's guilt sometime, but the pleasure always outweighs the guilt.

You still masturbate, right? Didn't you feel guilty about that when you were little and first started? Did you give it up? I didn't think so! You figured out that the pleasure was better than the pain of guilt. We always remember the pleasurable , the good things in our lives forever. We always forget the real pain.

Unpleasant memories remain, but time always takes the sting out of them, doesn't it? Pleasurable moments always become better in our memories, even the tiniest and most inconsequential moments.

My mom's death last year was so painful I cried for days, didn't think I'd ever get over it. Today, there is no pain, only the pleasure of the memory of what a great mom and friend she was. I vividly remember her tousling my hair, but can not remember that she ever spanked me. The pain recedes. The pleasure always remains.

I got a little off track here, but the point still remains.

A "phase" that brings more pleasure than pain is forever. Cultivate the phase. It's good for the soul!




(And, queerunity, NO, sexuality or gender identity is not on a 2-D continuum! But we'll deal with that later. )

[Patti Girl]

I gather that everyone is different and sees CD differently. I am young (25) and think that it's fun to CD, etc... but when I think of my future, I don't see myself CD. So I wonder if it can be a phase since I hear the proverb that once you CD, it's in your blood and you'll always keep wanting to do it. I can't speak for how i'll feel in 10 yrs, but maybe some people went through the same thought that i have 10 yrs ago and could comment?

I think there are many different people and reasons for crossdressing. You describe it as "fun". That word sounds different to me than some of us who feel that it is an essential part of our beings.

The problem with asking the question here is that you will only get answers from "hard core" girls. There may be many people who crossdressed and then permanently dropped it without any later desires but you won't find them on this board :)

Patti

[Adrienne Heels]

I think the urge to dress comes and goes in varying degrees...right now I have very strong feelings to be femme. But there are also times when I don't feel like dressing.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I love the fact that so many of us have come to embrace dressing as a way to become fullfilled

[Nikki A.]

My 2 cents. It is what we are. When we come to recognize it at whatever age that is, it's there for the rest of our lives. We may suppress it, ignore it, curse it, embrace it or just accept it but it is what makes each of us special and unique. Deja true said it well.

[Emma England]

Going through a "phase" is as temporary as your life.

[queerunity]

i get if someone goes into denial and stops crossdressing because they are ashamed but if they have come to accept it i dont really get why they would stop for a number of years and then return?

[AKAMichelle]

I don't think that it's a phase, but it does come and go to some extent. One of the biggest things that I have noticed is that when I'm under a lot of stress then the need to crossdress is HUGE. As the problems diminish then so does the need to crossdress.

[Emily Anderson]

Michelle,

Funny, because me too I want to dress more when stressed. Poll coming up...

[Cathey]

Well if it a phase I sure wish I would grow out of it..

[DanaR]

Yes it is, a very long one.

[Emma England]

Yes it is, a very long one.


Not sure of the exact figure, but I think this phase lasts for about 903 years!

[Jeannie Bingham]

A very long phase for me as well. I really can't imagine what I'd feel like if my "phase" suddenly ended.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Its a phase that has been part of my life for 33+ years! I stopped for 4 of them and started right back up.

[bimini1]

I think the further you go with it the greater the possibility it could 'run it's course' so to say.
I had a CD friend who swore up and down that some people just 'grow out of it you know'. And she was all over the place, going out all the time, driving all over the place en femme. Then I talked to her a while back and she said yeah she'll still do it around the house every once in while. What her status is today I do not know.

My point is I do think some people get to a point where they cannot get any more 'mileage' out of it. They have done so much with it and gone so many places there is simpy nothing left to do. At that point I think it just plays out.
When you have been closeted and you are thinking about all of these things you'd like to do as your femmeself and then you do it it might just not be that big of a deal anymore.

[Carly D.]

It is a phase for me.. it started when I was preschool aged and intensified when I was in junior high and still to now.. a phse that may last the rest of my life.. ok...

[bettysue6879]

I don't know if it's so much a phase. You might not feel like doing it for awhile, but the need with probably come back full forse at a later time. That seems to be how it is with CD.

[deja true]

I...
My point is I do think some people get to a point where they cannot get any more 'mileage' out of it. They have done so much with it and gone so many places there is simpy nothing left to do. At that point I think it just plays out.
...

Well, it's just that she's not going out and about as much, but you can bet she's still dressing at home as much as ever. Maybe some days more,some days not, but she ain't purged that's for sure!

[Claire3]

its a phase ive had most of my life and im very comfortable with it.Have tried to give it up a couple of times for the sake of relationships,but to no avail.Its in my heart and soul:love

[susan2010]

Phases?
age 4-40: crazy about lingerie
later, I try first dress and shoes
mid 50's now: have been out in semi-public places dressed (support group meetings)
Yet to try make-up

[leslie ann]

yes from one phase too the next getting better every step:daydreaming:

[Amy Hepker]

No, It's been going on for many, many years.

[Sweet Jane]

of course its just a phase...one day, you'll wake up and that will be that..the CD urge will have evaporated (laughs)

[christinac]

I gather that everyone is different and sees CD differently. I am young (25) and think that it's fun to CD, etc... but when I think of my future, I don't see myself CD. So I wonder if it can be a phase since I hear the proverb that once you CD, it's in your blood and you'll always keep wanting to do it. I can't speak for how i'll feel in 10 yrs, but maybe some people went through the same thought that i have 10 yrs ago and could comment?

If this is just a phase in my life which I highly doubt because I'm 39 and have fantasied about being a woman most all my life, but if it is just a phase then I'm riding this pony as far as she'll run:)

[Heather_Marie]

If this is just a phase in my life which I highly doubt because I'm 39 and have fantasied about being a woman most all my life, but if it is just a phase then I'm riding this pony as far as she'll run:)

I'm with you christinac I'm in my late 30's too and have fantasized about being a women also however I do not think this is a phase it is a way of life and I love every bit of this life. :)

[shirley1]

well when i was a bit younger i used to attend a cd meeting (its alright being a brit i have to remember the american termalogies are slightly different i was gonna say tg meeting) anyway basically it was a social place for cders to go and the cder that ran the group gave me a lot of advice not least telling me that my need to dress would get stronger as i got older - many seem to say that it tends to become more of a need between age 35 and 47 for some reason - i am bang in the middle of that age bracket at 40 ! and they were sorta right although in fact i dont dress as much as i could but since i have started going out dressed the need to dress and present as female is greater and yet the need to dress and stay in doors is actually less like its not enough just to dress and stop in anymore ! so certainly for me it has gone long past the stage on being a phase - theres no way back for me now !