Truth or consequence ???

[jam1973]

I was wondering.....
If after you or your SO told you about their CDing if you still felt like they are not being 100% honest with you.
I ask this cause if they were willing to hide the fact they were a CD then isn't it possible they are hiding other things from you?
If so ...How do you deal with the silent voice in the back of your head telling you that something doesn't seem quite right?
How do you trust 100% and take what they tell you as the truth without wondering if there is more?
I know you can ask the other person, but is what they telling you what you want to hear or is it the truth? How do you know the difference?

[TGMarla]

When this all came out to my wife, the one thing that bothered her the most was that she felt I had been dishonest to her. She wondered out loud what else I hadn't told her. It was a lie of omission only, but still not straight with her. She thinks it's wierd and all, but that was secondary. It took a while, but we have built a strong trust with each other since then. She admitted that she understood completely why I would have chosen to not tell her about this. That helped a lot. I have worked hard to prove to her how much she means to me. I think that we're on an even keel now.

[Karren H]

Ya don't know and ya never will... Once the trust between two people is broken I can never be fully 100% repaired.. There will allways be a lingering amount of doubt.......imho... And if ya can't live that way its time to move on.. Otherwise it becomes your new reality and you move forward from there.. IMHO..

Like it or not... Life goes on...

[S. Lisa Smith]

I agree with Karren!

[racquel]

I also agree with Karen.
Pens over Redwings.:doh:

[Julie York]

No-one who has kept a secret for...erm let's see....ALL their life....is going to feel good about telling the whole story in one sitting.

Maybe, instead of wondering WHAT has not been told to you, you could maybe take a little time to understand WHY. It would make a great deal of difference to your understanding of things and make you feel less paranoid.

[jam1973]

I understand what Karren and Julie are saying. It might be paranoia that is carried over from my past relationships.
It makes it harder though when you are told one thing one day and a few weeks later told something else tottaly opposite. Mainly because they forgot what they had told you previously.
I never bring up those little differences. I just keep them stored in the back of my head. I figure the final truth will come out sooner or later. I would be nice for it to be sooner than later though. Especially before the heart gets too involved and damage can not be repaired.

[Holly]

...It makes it harder though when you are told one thing one day and a few weeks later told something else tottaly opposite. Mainly because they forgot what they had told you previously...I'm guessing that you are talking about something else besides CDing here. Is that the case? The other gals are right in that it takes time to rebuild broken trust. But it also requires the desire to want to do so. Best wishes.

[Wenda]

again, (:o)I have to agree with Karren. You have passed a critical point in your relationship, and the relationship is strong enough to continue or it isn't.
It takes time to rebuild trust from perceived deceit, it doesn't happen overnight or get fixed by bouquets of roses. Besides time, it demands 100% honesty from here on in. All the best, w.