How did you tell them?!

[Ujean]

How did any of you ever get past your fears of telling your family, SO or anyone else. Was just like one day you decided you had enough of hiding it or was it a gradual process like 1 person at a time, or maybe did you just do it dramatically and stayed in femme until they gave up...... that would be awsome. hah My family would go nuts for sure! I am always looking for ways of letting it out in the open but for some reason when I even get remotley close to the subject my brain like changes the channle and I talk about something diffrent. Sometime I just wish that maybe I would just get caught and that would be the end of that. Then I could move on, But as I was reading in some of the posts it keeps it interesting not to have anyone know kind of like running from the police and having an adrenaline rush the whole time like I could get captured any second.
How did you all come out and let your loved ones know I would love to here about it? :)

[Wendy me]

ok that depends on what your needs are ... if you live at home with your parents , with a s/o... by your selfe... single mayrried ... kids job ... something diffrent for everyone... see i never came out and said that i cd ... mom knew all along ... (thay just know things)...as for my wife well over the years she picked up on things ... every halloween ... supprize geusse what i going to be..... ??? busted so many times for nail polish or make up ... little things ... the wife knows but is .. how we say playing along at home .... as of yet .... sometimes things don't always go as planed and some times thay go real good ... just rember once you do it it is done. so think and do it right....

[Ujean]

For one thing I can garuntee you not a single soul knows but this web site. Like I said in my intro I am probably the most caustious CD there is. But that is besides the point. I am always looking for feedback on how others did this. I am very unsure on how to break the news....it will happen it is just a matter of time and like some of you I am just kind of tired of hiding it for so long, it would just finally feel good to be the whole me and just not half of who I am.

[Wendy me]

you will probly see this here a million times .... "small steps "... give people what thay can swallow some you can tell every thing and some need small bits at a time... good luck sister........

[Ujean]

Yeah I just know the biggest shocker would be to my folks. They think I am just another average american male making a living with nothing to hide. :) I will be interesting to see the looks on there faces when I break the news, I know they will accept me for whoever or whatever I want to do or be. It's just going to be a hard nut for me to crack in my own mind.

[Katie Ashe]

Hello, you have stiff comp with being the most cautious CD'er, many probably argue that point but won't. I couldn't take it anymore when my wife was home 4 3weeks sick, she was bed bound and drugged. I told her and we talked about it for like 2 hours. She asked a ton of Q's and I answer, over the next few days she played 20/20 and we are no closer than before, everything now makes since for her now, all the blanks have been filled in from over the years. Now I don't have to hide it from her, and she helps me learn my outfits that match. That's the summary of my out, no other family knows.

What a freaking releave if was... Katie's free to roam the house anytime, as long as the kids are sleeping :D

Katie

[sissy stacy]

(curtsey)

i have always made sure one way or the other, that any GF learned of my inclionations early iin the relationship. How i informed her varied over the years. There were some whom i simply told that i liked to wear dresses and ladies' and/or little girl's underwear. Then there were some that i showed myself to dressed up. i would excuse myself while she watched the tube, go into the bedroom, put on make-up, a pair of panties, bra, garterbelt, petticoat, camisole, nylons and heels, then walk out and show myself to her. If she ran, she ran. If she stayed, she stayed; whatever happened was for the best.


There was one time when i went to meet a GF for a close encounter of the best kind. i wore drab on the outside, but underneath i had on a pink lacy underwire bra and a matching pair of lacy pink panties--it was fall, so i had on a sportcoat over the shirt; she couldn't see the bra lines. She already knew that i kept my body hair shaved, as we had gone out for a few weeks by then (few of my GFs ever asked why i shaved, over the years). She liked it better when she undressed me as opposed to me doing it. She undid my pants first and was taken aback at the panties, but she did keep going. When she got to the bra, she sighed in relief--she thought the panties belonged to another girl and i was cheating . She just said , 'oh, you're a transvestite, i always did want to do it with a guy in lace', so we left on the bra and panties while we got close. She did not always want to do it with me dressed, but we did it often that way.

i have some times been apprehensive about telling a GF about my dressing, but i have always considered it important to let them know early on. i have lost more than a few over the years, but i have had more than a few good relationships over the years as well. i can only think of one GF who initially accepted my dressing and then decided that she didn't like it and ended the relationship because of it. Every other one who ended the relationship die to my dressing did so upon learning of it. And yes, they have called me all sorts of names as they walked away. Oh, well, better it happens now and that they walk away fast than have it happen years into the relationship and have the hurt multiplied on both sides.

It reminds me of the story of the guy who told me that when he wanted a close encounter with a female, he just walked up to her and let her know what he wanted in no uncertain terms. i asked him if he got slapped a lot. He said that yes, he did, but he also got a lot of good close encounters of the best kind.

i am rambling, best not type more.

(curtsey)

-sissy stacy

[nikky]

i remember last halloween i dressed like a girl. most often, guys will put on a dress and wig but not me off course. i had to go all the way. i remember even wearing one of my satin purple thongs, which the girls thought was pretty hot. it was and excuse to go shopping for new heels and even get a manicure and pedicure. a few monthes later, at the bar, a gg freind of mine made the remark that i looked much better in a skirt and laughed. for some reason i felt comfortable with her and just said, "i liked it better too". she laughed a few times and then i said, "no, im serious" she laughed again thinking i was kidding so i showed her that i still wore thongs and still had my toenails done. we spent the rest of the night talking about shoes, panties, and nails and she was very excepting. if she had really been up tight about it.... i would have just left it alone, but she was really cool. like i said...it worked for me

[azure]

It was christmas 1996, and I was going through a tough time, my mother and me can be very confrontational if together, and she was seing how far she could push me, I wasnt coping and thought to myself, "fine, if you want the truth....FINE!" She kept asking what was wrong, so I told her the story from the begining, and that to that day I could never allow them to know the real me, because the real me is the daughter they didnt know they had( Yes I realise I sound callous and selfish) She listenend and then we drove home so that I could repeat the whole story to my father, it was very very unreal and very very lonley in that kitchen, listening to myself say out loud in front of my parents "All my life Ive know that Im meant to be female, and want to change my body and put right the wrongness".
To cut a very long story short, to my parents credit, and I am SO grateful for that they never ever, disowned me, or hurt me , or threw me away. They did go into denial, and Ive hidden eversince.
On a brighter note, I made the decision to tell my girlfreind, shes happy with it, and wants to share wardrobes and go shopping together, she wants to call me Jenny, Im happy with that, I cried with happiness and relief when we talked, I couldnt ask for more really, and I love her.
(pull your self together azure for gods sake woman) oops sorry, I went all daft.

[Julie York]

, she was bed bound and drugged. I told her and we talked about it for like 2 hours.
Katie


I have something to tell you...

Hmmmngnttthh

Open your eyes.

Hmmnngth

I'm a transvestite.

Gnnnmth

Good. That's all settled then.

hmmmmngthmmmn.........(zzzzzzzzz)

:D

[Kimberly]

Oh my God.... I literally nearly just told my parents. Though, Wendy, you're probably right. Mum's do know these things.

I told an ex gf in the midst of one of our crying sessions. Problem was: sex. We couldn't get it to work, and when we just nearly got there, there were slight complications (my side,) and things just didn't progress. So I sat there for half an hour wondering whether to tell her. In the end, she asked "what you thinking about?" I just shrugged the comment off... but then, my heart suddenly flipped over, my mind numbed and I confessed.

She sat there and listened to me try to talk through my crying (which was now worse, thanks to my confession.) I was a nervous wreck, but I explained EVERYTHING and even told her my CDing life story! (One day, when I was very young, I put on a skirt in play group [kinderkarton] and said "look at me! I'm a girl!"...)

She had questions, but I answered them, and she seemed fairly content. Later, in fact, she wanted to see me dressed, and so I showed her. She went mad (good mad), and had the best fun we'd ever had. Still no sex though... Hmm. Not meant to be I suppose.

She recently left me for reasons unrelated to CDing.

[MonaSmith]

I am telling the people around me gradually. I've told my Mum and sister, and most of my work colleagues, including my manager. I haven't had a bad reaction yet.

I have found that using a picture is the key to not freaking people out. It is much less shocking than just turning up one day fully dressed and expecting the person to accept you there and then. They are usually a bit shocked or surprised at first, but they soon get over it. When you do tell someone be prepared for lots and lots of questions.

The real trick seems to be picking the right moment to show them the picture. I think that I have been lucky so far, but I have lost a bit of momentum. I have told all the people around me that I would expect to not have a problem with it and now I have to start on the people that I am not so certain of. My oldest friends, as yet, don't know. in my experience it is easy to tell family, as they love you no matter what (mostly) and work colleagues are easy too, because they are not so deeply involved in your life. It's definitely the oldest friends that I am having the most problems with.

I will get there, I have come too far to retreat back again.

Mona xx.

[eileen1969]

I for one have and this was a little over a year ago! it was very difficult at first, so , just showed up decked right out to the max! My sisiter was the very 1st to know and she is ver supportive and my mom she is gradually accepting me! At first she was wondering "were did I go wrong?" I told her and the rest of the clan! about half are learning and I have 13 in the fam! My step dad is proud and he says "it takes a lot to do what I do!" My youngest bro is ok with me! the little ones are kids and they are unconditional! Its about half the fam is kewl and this does take time for them to adjust but they all have known through out my life! it was just a matter of when do I come out! and I have! yeah me! and I hope n pray for you girl! take care Eileenxxxooo ;)

[Katie Ashe]

Real cute Julie, Your so funny :D I kinda went something like that until she relized I wasn't kidding, then she was up for a while. I can't tell my mom, her mouth is like CNN, she can't keep secrets. My dad might have a heart attack. Considering telling my cousin, she would accept me with open arms, the hang up is, she's like my mom :( So I'll sit here in my closet and taalk funny with Julie, wise ass. Love ya girl :)

Katie

[Shy]

I repressed my tendancies for about 11 years until last October, when I suggested to my GF that we go out on Halloween as goth girls. She shot the idea down immediatley - so I suggested that we go as fairies. This idea went down as well, so I let the matter go for the rest of the month. This was basically the beginning of the end for me, and I knew that I'd have to tell her fairly soon.

Once it was Halloween (and I wasn't dressed as a girl), my GF confronted me and said that I seemed really distant and sad lately. I choked back tears and said it was nothing, but this only fueled her need to know what was going on. Riding on a cloud of fear/adrenaline, I finally let it slip out:

"Well, you know how I wanted to be a goth girl or a fairy tonight?"
"Yeah?"
"Erm... there's a reason for that... uh..."

She looked confused for a moment, then a smile crept across her face.

"Do you want to be pretty?"

I shrugged, half expecting her to burst out laughing and dump me right on the dancefloor.

"Do you want to wear my eyelashes?" She says, pointing to her long fake lashes. "Do you want to try my wig on?"

I'm locked into a confused and embarrased smirk, finally realizing that I've let the cat out of the bag. She gives me a big hug and lets me know that everything will be alright - that we'll have a long talk when we get home, and she'll let me try some stuff out. I really regretted not telling her this earlier, as she has been extremely cool with it - taking me out shopping and such. She isn't thrilled and excited about it, but she understands it and accepts it. She's even gone as far as suggesting we go out to the bar together dressed up!

I know that what happened to me won't happen to everyone, but I do suggest that you tell someone. Simply saying 'I want to look pretty' will get the point across pretty quick, leaving the ball squarely in their court. If they want to play, then great. If not - dont worry about it, chances are they weren't as great of a GF or friend in the first place if they can't accept this facet of yourself.

[Sindy]

When i told my best friend there was a lot of alcohol involved.