Am I A Basket Case?

[Tracy W]

This might sound strange, but I'm fairly new at this forum stuff, so here's my best try.

I'm kind of new to CDing. My wife is resposible for me trying it in the 1st place. She's German and very open minded. She says if I like it, then do it. She bought me my own make up, underwear, hose, etc. She supports me 1 million percent. I know I am very lucky to have a wife like that.

So whats the problem you ask? I'll try to explain.

If I have this support, then why do I still feel weird about the whole thing? Why do I still feel ashamed, embarassed, guilty, etc? Is it my rednecked up bringing? Social attitudes? What? Am I the only one who feels this way?
Like the title says, I'm a basket case!

Just wondering if anyone else has/had the same issues. Your thought would be really helpful. Thanks

Greetz,
Tracy

[melisss2u]

I guess my first question would be what were the circumstances for you wife suggesting it. then second question would be did she force it on you again after by buying all the "goodies" or did you love it as much as we all do and now wonder what took you so long> I say that as i sit back behind the closet door LOL

[KandisTX]

Tracy,

I wouldn't call yourself a basket case, but your confusion is understandable. We, are taught by society that men are men and women are women and that's how it is. In many cultures, the line between the two is quite often blurred, however we in the west tend to be more "uptight" (for lack of better term), about the whole sexuality aspect of life.

With your wife being German, she is more open to the true meaning of freedom of expression, and the concept of being true to who YOU are is more understood by her. Now, I am puzzled as to your saying that she is responsible for your trying out CDing in the first place. There had to have been a curiosity at least on your part for her to have brought it up and out of you. Perhaps if you provided more details it might be easier for some of us to help try and explain things to you.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Michelle 51]

Well i don,t think your a basket case.Most of us on here experiance those same feelings and to be honest with you i wish this crossdressing would go away sometimes but then i change my mind when i,m slippng on new panty hose and a new skirt and top and got the house to my-self.

[Heather Daniels]

Tracy, with a little more info on your circumstances, I'm sure we'll be able to answer some of your questions. Has the desire to dress just surfaced in you, or have you been dressing for awhile? Was it your idea to dress or was it your wifes idea? Do you enjoy dressing feminine? We're here to help our sisters hun, so if you just fill in some of the blanks, I'm sure you'll get some answers.

[Vivian Best]

To me the basic question is "Do you want to CD?" To most of us CDrs, it wasn't something we decided we wanted to do, it is part of our being. Until I finally accepted that it was an innate part of who I am I fought it every way I knew how! During those fights I had the same feelings you are going through. Hope you find the right decision for you.

[Cayce]

Hi Tracy!

No you're not a basket case! As the others have said, I think we've all had those feelings. It took me a while to get completely comfortable with my dressing. I always had the desire, but as you said, upbringing, societal conventions etc. made it difficult to fully embrace at first. But once I got past those barriers and realized that it's not "wrong" and that I didn't really have anything to feel ashamed about, it became much easier and now it's not an issue at all.

It also helps a lot to have a great place like this to come to to see that you're certainly not alone.

It takes time and some work, but it'll happen. ultimately, I think you simply have to be comfortable and accepting of yourself. Once you do that, everything else just comes naturally.

:D

[Tamara Croft]

Can I ask why you have labelled this a MTF question only? You haven't indicated anywhere in your post you would like only MTF's to answer. I'm asking you here, because you do not have access to the PM system yet.

[Tracy W]

Sorry for the confussion, like I said, new at this. I'm blond and not very good with computers, internet, etc.

Here goes try #2.

I was always different. As a teenager I was jealous of how women looked. Loved the lingrie(sp?) catalogs. Being from WV, one can imagine how a "man" is suppoed to act. I just kept my confussed feelings to my self. When I came to Germany, I saw how German society had a more blurred view of what is fem/masc. When I met my wife, she saw I was uptight, and started to get me to loosen up. During our many hours of talks, my confused feelings came up. She asked if I was feeling that way, why didn't I ever try it? She said I should just be me, and not worry about what society thought. I thought she was just pulling my leg.
In late 2005, I had a stroke due to a immune system disease. I recovered from that 90% thank goodness. Since then, I have had a different train of thought in my head. I thought, she's right, why not try it. I talked to my wife some more, and she said she was serious. So one night after several shots of liquid courage, I tried a pair of her stockings on. Wow, what a feeling. I loved it. From there, as time went on, and I got more comfy around her, more things were added to the list. Corsets, panties, female jeans, blouses, etc. When she saw that I really liked it and how happy it made me,she took me shopping and bought me my own stuff. The whole time she kept telling me to be my self and not worry about it.
A few weeks ago we did the full make up thing. A new step for us. She again reminded me to relax and be my self and enjoy it.
She has no problem with it, I still can't wrap my arms around it. Thats why I feel like a basket case.
Hope that helps. Sorry for babbling.
Greetz,
Tracy

[Paige.]

Hi Tracy,
I don't know how you feel when dressed but your 'basket case' feelings sound like a lack of self respect and self esteem. For whatever reason you don't think it is Ok. But your answers won't come just because you have an accepting and helpful wife, or from a few comments in a thread. It's all about you accepting yourself and understanding that under the clothing you are still a respectable man.

[Tamara Croft]

Ok, no problem, just have a read of the FAQ's etc they will help you out :) I will remove it, as it's not really a limited thread.

[Tracy W]

Can I ask why you have labelled this a MTF question only? You haven't indicated anywhere in your post you would like only MTF's to answer. I'm asking you here, because you do not have access to the PM system yet.

Again, a blond on a computer. Must have pushed a wrong button. Sorry! If you can, you can make it open to any one to answer.

Sorry for the mistakes. I'm the only person in the world who just recently started surfing the net. I'm such a noob at the internet!

[Tamara Croft]

LOL I answered you before you posted it ;) There we go, all fixed and welcome to the forum Tracy :)

[Tomara]

Hi Tracy, Welcome to the forums, I think you will find alot of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your fears . You have found a wonderful support system and a great bunch of people here. I have found myself more comfortable and at ease since joining this site. You have the luxury of having a supportive wife and that itself is something you dont have to worry about. I think with the help you will find here you will gain confidence and come to understand yourself as a person . Take your time and enjoy yourself. And remember that most of us who crossdress do or have had the same fears as you are having. I hope this will help you , welcome again and thankyou for joining us.:hugs:. There is also a place for GG`s that your wife might want to explore. Have fun and RELAX ! Tomara

[JoAnnDallas]

Tracy........about a month ago, my wife decieded to accept my CDing after a year of only tolerating it. I have been CDing for 50 years now and even now that it is in the open between myself and my wife, it is still a little hard. I mean I still have a tendency not to open up with her but I am slowly working on being more open. Just the other day I was looking at this forum at home and she walks into the computer room. First thought I had was to quickly switch screens so she would not see this one. Then I thought why do that, she knows and a CDer, so I left this screen up and nothing happened.
Many of us have had to keep this secret for so long, that having this in the open to our wives/SO can be hard. As time goes on, you communicate with your wife more, and etc, it should get easier to talk about, having her see you dressed, and etc.
Just hang in there. That is what I am doing. LOL

[sterling12]

You are probably feeling guilty because you are breaking "Societal Norms." That set of said and unsaid rules that you receive as an unwanted gift when you are growing up.

You got your learning from family, friends, institutions, and just by observation. It is very difficult to shrug off those rules. Most folks never learn how. If you doubt, just ask most anyone brought up as a Catholic. They can usually give you volumes about "rules and feelings of guilt."

So you got the message early that "little boys can't/don't dress like little girls or ladies." Your now an adult, you should know better, but all those "rules" have a bad habit of effecting even our adult lives.

I can offer a little hope. Sometimes, the easiest way to deal with this sort of thing is to recognize that it exists. Once you identify, demystify, and recognize that you have these rules imposed upon you, then you can deal with the problem and it gets containable.

Your not going to quit. Much better to find self-acceptance and drop all the guilt.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Alice B]

After long discussions my wife accepted my dressing with restrictions, such as when she was not around. She had already accepted my wearing panties 7/24 and nylons when cold. plus I wear earrings. Several of which she bought for me or had made. Recently she has allowed me to dress when she is home and in front of her. At these times I can also feel a bit uncomfortable and I know it is due to up bringing, etc. so your feelings are natural. But, at the same time you have been given total acceptance and a green light to fully explore the world of dressing and feeling like a female. You are a very, very lucky man so go for it, explore your womanhood with your wife and the feelings of guilt will go away with time.

Continue to share with us your journey and send a picture or two.:hugs:

[Tracy W]

Thanks for all the words of support and encouragement.

I'm taking things one step at a time, and I'm sure I will get over my bad feelings in due time. With the support of my wife and all of you here, I believe that my future is looking brighter than it ever has.

The more I get to know my fem side, the better off I think I'm going to be.

Again, a very big thank you.

Greetz,
Tracy

[christinac]

Sounds like you have answered your own question. I was in the same boat, but as I started to take steps forward those feelings fell away especially when I began to meet other crossdressers.
Part of my problem was that my area is teaming over with judgemental and bigoted evangelical Christians of which I'm a border under ones roof, so I have to be top secret about everything until I can get a place of my own again.